<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Visible Souls by armillarysphere, ellievolia</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250198">Visible Souls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/armillarysphere/pseuds/armillarysphere'>armillarysphere</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellievolia/pseuds/ellievolia'>ellievolia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>catdads [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7, Monsta X (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Barebacking, Bisexual Male Character, Blow Jobs, Cats, Closeted Character, Domestic Boyfriends, Drunken Flirting, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Found Family, M/M, Making Out, Minor Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Minor Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun, Nipple Piercings, Past Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Past Lee Minhyuk/Lee Jooheon, Rimming, Switching, delayed gratification</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:20:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>84,892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24250198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/armillarysphere/pseuds/armillarysphere, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellievolia/pseuds/ellievolia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why, hello,” Jooheon says, voice dropping into his cat-dad tone, as he stares at the small Siamese cat sitting on his kitchen counter. “You’re not mine.”</p><p>~</p><p>aka: two cat dads meet through their best feline companions, and fall in love.</p><p>(Rating and tags refer to the fic as a whole.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Jaebum | JB/Lee Jooheon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>catdads [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2068587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First things first: huge, huge thanks to E and to L for alpha and beta reading this behemoth. You're the real MVPs. We love you!</p><p>This entirely self-indulgent fluff monster was written by two elder millennials in lockdown in a flat in London.  It has almost zero angst and isn't <i>exactly</i> realistic, but we all have to get our escapism somewhere, right?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
  <i>"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." - Jean Cocteau</i>
</p>
  <p>~</p>
</div><p>“Why, hello,” Jooheon says, voice dropping into his cat-dad tone, as he stares at the small Siamese cat sitting on his kitchen counter. “You’re not mine.”</p><p>The cat meows in response, but doesn’t move, tail lazily swishing, and it doesn’t show more agitation when Jooheon walks closer, checking around the room for his own cats, nowhere to be seen. Probably fast asleep sprawled on his beds, those two. </p><p>It’s close to 7am, and Jooheon’s just home from an all-nighter in the studio. He, too, wouldn’t mind being sprawled in bed, however, there he is, with an uninvited guest, which most probably belongs to someone. And if Jooheon suddenly was one cat down, he’d be freaking the hell out, so. </p><p>He’s just noticing the collar around the cat’s neck when there’s a knock on the door, making him jump, and the cat startles. It drops off the counter, towards the door, meowing again, and Jooheon, half-asleep and confused, follows, opening the door and peering into the hallway.</p><p>There’s a guy on the other side, longish hair sticking up in places like he’s been pulling at it, eyes worried and lips bitten red. He’s kind of really hot, despite all that.     He’s got delicate features, high cheekbones, a pretty shaped mouth, and cat-like eyes that catch Jooheon’s attention - well, after he looks away from his, frankly, quite large shoulders. He would be even hotter if he didn’t look so wild, Jooheon is pretty sure, but even like this… he’s definitely, <i>definitely</i> Jooheon’s type.</p><p>“Hi,” he starts, and he sounds out of breath already. “I’m sorry to bother you this early, it’s just I was getting ready for work and I always feed my cat first thing and by the time I leave even if I’ve not seen her, her bowl is empty, but today it’s not so I started looking for her and turns out I have no idea where she is, so please, if you see her can you -”</p><p>It all comes out in a rush of breath, and before he’s done, Jooheon opens his door a little wider, showing the cat that somehow found its way into his apartment, who is now sitting right next to Jooheon’s feet, meowing quietly. </p><p>“Would that be her?”</p><p>“Nora!” The guy lunges at her, picking her up and looking like he’s about to yell and coo at her at the same time.</p><p>“Looks like you've got an escape artist on your hands,” Jooheon says, one hand reaching up to pat down his own hair as he watches the cat - Nora, apparently - press wet nose kisses onto the guy's chin.  </p><p>“We only moved in recently and I think she misses our old place.” Jooheon looks at the two of them, the way Nora snuggles close to Jooheon’s apparently new neighbor, and he feels a wave of affection. Cats are so perceptive – Yoshi and Gucci have been so good to him after – after everything. But he can also imagine uprooting them, moving them from one place to the other, would take some time for them to get adjusted. He squints back into the darkness of his own apartment for a second, trying to see if they’ve gotten up, curious about the sudden noises. Nothing.  </p><p>He turns back to the new guy under the dim artificial lights of the communal hallway. He manages to look both stressed and gorgeous at the same time.</p><p>“Poor thing,” Jooheon replies sympathetically, watching as Nora starts purring contently in the guy’s arms. Jooheon can’t exactly blame her, either. “I hope she settles in. I’m Jooheon, by the way.”</p><p>The guy looks up at him, and smiles, eyes creasing at the corners. “I’m Jaebeom. Thank you for - not kicking her out.”</p><p>“Oh no, of course. I’ve got two of my own, I know how it is.” </p><p>It’s like they’re talking about their kids. Which may or may not be close to the truth, considering that Jooheon knows for a fact he’s never going to be able to have kids, and he loves his cats extremely deeply. Some people might call it unhealthy (some people have), but Jooheon has a lot of love to give, and while his friends get to receive a lot of it, at the end of the day, when Jooheon’s at home, he can easily get lonely. Yoshi and Gucci accept the fact that he likes to dote on them, allow him to cuddle them, and sometimes, they even love him back.  </p><p>“Which number are you in, Jaebeom-ssi? In case I need to bring her back another time,” he asks, not exactly flirting but not <i>not</i> flirting, as Changkyun would say.</p><p>“Oh, hm, right next door, 6C,” Jaebeom replies, pointing over with his free hand. Jooheon nods, making a mental note, even though it’s very unlikely that he is to forget. “Thanks again, Jooheon-ssi. I should get her home.”</p><p>“Yeah.” And Jooheon should get himself to bed, the weight of the night wearing heaving on him. Damn, this couldn’t have happened when he was more awake? It feels like a fever dream.  He tries and fails to stifle a yawn, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth as he steps back into his apartment away from the flickering lights that leave his eyes watering, his contact lenses burning to be taken out. “Sorry, I work nights sometimes. I’d only just got home when I found her.”</p><p>Jaebeom nods in apparent understanding and uses the cat's paw to wave goodbye. “In that case, we definitely should be going.  Goodbye Jooheon-samchon, thanks for rescuing me.”</p><p>Jooheon grins, waving back. “Bye, Nora. Nice to meet you, and your appa.” </p><p>;;</p><p>“Gucci! Yoshi! Dinner!”  Jooheon rattles the box of kibble and waits for the sound of paws trotting along the wooden floors.  Yoshi appears soon enough, purring and winding herself around his ankles as he measures out the food and tips it into her bowl.  He scratches between her ears and watches as she starts wolfing down the biscuits as if it were her first meal in weeks.  </p><p>“Where’s your sister?” he asks after a few minutes have passed and Gucci hasn’t come to eat.  Jooheon walks out of the kitchen and calls out for the other cat, looking behind the couch and under the cat tree she is usually perched on.  “Gucci baby, where you at?”</p><p>He goes through the apartment - the officetel   space isn't huge, but there is plenty of space for cats to hide. There are shelves in his living-room-kitchen area, a dark corridor that leads to his studio space, corners of couches and beds and desks, tangles of cables that Jooheon always tells himself he’ll sort, and yet never does. </p><p>Still, she's not in the bedroom, she's not in any of the usual spots he'd find her. He can't hear her anywhere, and nothing has been upturned or thrown down to the ground, either, which means she has no reason to cower.</p><p>“Gucci? C'mon, baby, come out!”</p><p>He goes through the apartment again, to no avail. Yoshi is looking at him curiously from the couch, but his mind is growing fuzzy with worry. Did he open the front door earlier and miss her slipping out? Is there a window open somewhere? She's always been the more adventurous of the two, but what if she got out and got herself in trouble -</p><p>The doorbell rings, startling Jooheon out of his panic, and he runs to the door without a second thought.</p><p>He wrenches the door open so hard the hinges creak and “Gucci?!” comes out of his mouth before he can stop to think about how the cat is probably not the one ringing the doorbell.</p><p>“Um,” comes back at him from a very stunned-looking Jaebeom. He has Gucci in his arms and Jooheon all but collapses at his feet in relief.  “Uhh...”</p><p>“Oh, my God, thank you, Jaebeom-ssi,” Jooheon says, bracing one hand on the door handle the other on the door frame. “I was losing my mind, yes I was, yes I was.” Jooheon reaches out and fusses Gucci’s face and ears until Jaebeom hands Gucci over wordlessly, still looking a little like he’s been slapped, presumably at the volume and vehemence of Jooheon’s greeting. </p><p>Jooheon takes Gucci into his arms and holds her close to his – wait – his bare chest.  Oh. OH.  He’d showered when he got back from his workout and – and now he’s half naked in front of his neighbor. (Hot neighbor, his lizard  brain supplies, helpful as ever.)</p><p>“Hi,” Jaebeom says finally, sounding a little funny. “I found her on the cat tree Nora never uses. No idea how she got in, but -”</p><p>“Thank you so much for bringing her back,” Jooheon replies, interrupting. “I'm so sorry.”</p><p>“Don't be. She was very good, let me pick her up and check out her collar.”</p><p>Jooheon scoffs, looking down at Gucci, who looks up at him and then leans in, rubbing her cheek against his like she knows she did wrong. Behind them, Yoshi meows pitifully. Maybe she was worried too. “She's very friendly, with everyone but me. She's just trying to get off without a scolding right now.” He looks back up at Jaebeom, feeling a little exposed now. He reaches up with his free hand, scratching his shoulder.</p><p>“So… I guess that makes the score one-all?” Jaebeom says before biting his lip, nose scrunching a little.  “Not that we should encourage them to make a competition out of it.”</p><p>Jooheon grins and is about to suck it up and ask Jaebeom in for a coffee when Gucci decides that she’s had enough of being held and digs her claws into his chest.  “Ow! You little shit-head!”</p><p>It doesn’t deter her; she climbs up his shoulder and launches off of him, not so quietly landing on the floor and scurrying off, either to annoy her sister, or to check her food situation. Jooheon, embarrassed, rubs at the claw marks on his chest, as Jaebeom laughs kindly.</p><p>“She’s fiery,” he remarks, but then his eyes drop again, looking Jooheon over, and he scratches his throat. “Um.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Jooheon replies. “Is there a way I can repay you? I’d - I’d like to.” </p><p>Oh God. He hopes that doesn’t sound too much like he’s propositioning Jaebeom.</p><p>Jaebeom holds his hands out towards Jooheon and shakes his head. “Oh, no, there's no need,” he says, a blush creeping up his throat as Jooheon watches.</p><p>Shit. Definitely looks like he’s propositioning, considering the reaction. Jooheon flushes, and then cowers behind his door, only his face peeking out from the side. “I - okay. Um. Okay.”</p><p>That is smooth, so extremely smooth, Minhyuk is going to laugh at him for days if he ever hears about this. Which, okay, Jooheon has to make sure he doesn’t, especially because he can’t help but think it’d be weird to talk about his hot neighbor with his ex, even if they’re the best of friends now. </p><p>Anyway. Jaebeom, somehow, smiles anyway, reaching back to tug lightly on his hair.  It’s loose today, curling around his jaw. Jooheon’s fingers tingle a little with the urge to run through it.  He’s a little taken aback at how quickly these urges come upon him – this is only their second time of meeting, after all. “Well, I should get going.”</p><p>Jooheon nods. “Thank you, though. Truly. I was so worried.”</p><p>“No problem,” Jaebeom replies, smiling again. “I’ll see you around?”</p><p>With a smile, Jooheon nods. “Yeah.” And then he closes the door, leaning his forehead against it, trying to gather himself. Which, of course, he can only do for a second before Gucci is yelling loudly at him from the kitchen entrance, demanding her dinner. </p><p>“Oh, <i>fine</i>,” Jooheon mutters. Cats. It’s all their fault that Jooheon is lusting after the stranger living across the hall.</p><p>;;</p><p>Jooheon keeps Gucci in lockdown for the next week, too embarrassed to risk another great escape - more than once he wakes up sweating from dreams of finding both cats digging tunnels in the living room and shaking dirt out of their fur in little piles in the kitchen.  He doesn't see Jaebeom again either apart from one morning when they cross paths in the entryway; Jooheon coming home from another overnight at the studio, checking his mailbox, and Jaebeom leaving to start his day, hair tied up and black-framed glasses perched on his nose as he taps away at his phone, not looking up until Jooheon's shadow moves across his field of vision.</p><p>“Oh, hey, good morning, Jooheon-ssi. Another night shift?” Jaebeom stops to hold the inner door open for Jooheon with an outstretched arm around Jooheon’s back.  He’s close enough that all Jooheon can focus on is how well Jaebeom’s leather jacket hugs his shoulders and the heavenly scent of whatever aftershave he’s wearing. Lillies and sandalwood, Jooheon thinks, maybe.  </p><p>He smells so good that Jooheon forgets to reply straight away.  “Sorry, what?”</p><p>“Um, did you just get home from work?” Jaebeom asks again, biting his bottom lip.  He’s still holding the door and the moment is getting more and more awkward and oh, God, Jooheon himself, on the opposite side of the scale, probably smells like teenage hormones and too much coffee. He’s been working with a new boy group, getting them ready to debut, but put six teenagers in one studio for more than two hours and it starts to permeate the walls. And Jooheon.</p><p>Jaebeom is still looking at him, looking pleasant and curious, and Jooheon snaps back to the moment, blinking hard. “Oh, huh, yeah. Yeah, I did. Are you off to the office?”</p><p>Jaebeom chuckles, and he sounds cute. Jooheon is way too out of it for this conversation, it feels entirely surreal.  At least Jaebeom hasn’t run away screaming. Yet.</p><p>“Not office, per se, but work, yeah. I co-own a store, down in Hongdae.  We sell vinyl and other vintage stuff.  CDs too, if they count as vintage these days.”</p><p>“Oh, cool. You should give me the address, that’s very relevant to my interests.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Jaebeom’s smile grows. Jooheon isn’t sure it’s that, the diamond stud in Jaebeom’s nose, or the sun behind him that’s blinding him, at this point. </p><p>“Yeah. I do producing, so I’m always looking for new things to sample. And one of my best friends is a DJ so if you’ve got some cool vinyl, I’d have a couple birthdays and Chuseoks sorted, there.”</p><p>Jaebeom looks like he's dying to ask a hundred and one questions, but a car honks outside and Jaebeom groans, looking back down at his phone and then at the door.</p><p>“Sorry, that's my ride, but here –” Jaebeom digs around in his pocket for a second and pulls out a crumpled flyer advertising an open mic night for a date three weeks ago.  “The address is on the back.”</p><p>Jooheon takes the paper and smooths it out against his thigh, nodding.  “Thanks.  I'll see you around?”</p><p>“Yeah, for sure.”</p><p>;;</p><p>The next time he sees Jaebeom, Jooheon actually just sees him. He’s walking out of his apartment as Jaebeom is stepping into the elevator, and he doesn’t have time to call for him before the doors are closing on Jaebeom. But all that Jooheon got to see was…. Well, good. Jaebeom was wearing a thin white t-shirt with a cardigan on top and his hair was tied up again and does Jooheon have a thing for that because he just spent two long minutes staring at his own closed door thinking about untying Jaebeom’s hair to get to card his fingers through his hair and - okay. No. </p><p>Not doing that right now, work is waiting. </p><p>However, they do run into each other on a Sunday morning, in the hallway. They come in from different ends of the corridor because Jooheon had just been on the cooldown run he takes when he comes back from his gym session with Wonho, so he takes the stairs, and Jaebeom’s arms are laden with groceries.  </p><p>Which he promptly drops to the floor when they notice each other. </p><p>“Oh, shit!” “Oh, shit!”</p><p>Jooheon rushes forwards at the same time as Jaebeom drops to his knees and starts trying to corral his shopping back into the bags they're currently spilling out of across the hallway.  There's an onion making its way towards Jooheon that he scoops up and holds out to Jaebeom when he gets to him.</p><p>“I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you,” Jooheon says, bending to pick up a pack of seaweed snacks (unfortunately only after he's stepped on it).</p><p>“No, no, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention -” Jaebeom starts, clutching his bags. He looks up at Jooheon, and it’s the kind of look that Jooheon… <i>feels</i>, the way it moves from his calves all the way up to his face. It’s a deliberate long look.  </p><p>Why do they keep on meeting like this, where Jooheon’s either half naked, or sweaty, or both, but neither of these things were a direct result of meeting Jaebeom? </p><p>“You work out?” Jaebeom ends up saying, which makes Jooheon smirk a little. Well, at least, the pain Wonho puts him through does do something. </p><p>“Yeah. My friend Wonho-hyung owns a gym down the street so I can’t really skip it,” Jooheon says, giving Jaebeom a wry smile. “Not if I want eat a decently cooked meal ever again. It’s the one with the, uh, rainbow awning over the entrance.” He hesitates only slightly in saying it, but there’s a reason for Wonho choosing to advertise his gym as a safe space, so.   </p><p>“Oh, I’ve seen that place,” Jaebeom replies with a nod. “Looks cool, maybe I should go.” Jooheon doesn’t want to assume anything, but the looks Jaebeom’s been giving him and the fact that he seems genuinely interested in going there are giving him hope, however false that may be.</p><p>“Yeah! It’s great, he’s great. It’s small and friendly, we could -” Jooheon stops. No. Do not offer to go work out together. Is that bros? He’s not quite sure what the protocol is with bros, he hangs out with too many married people. “I recommend it.”</p><p>Jaebeom laughs, finally straightening up to his full height. He looks a little contrite, then, looking back at his apartment door. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m on a schedule - sorry, my friend, Jinyoung, gets really pissed when I’m late for things. But I’ll see you - soon?”</p><p>Jooheon, eyes open wide, keys in his hand, nods. “Yeah. Yeah!”</p><p>Jooheon gives him a little wave and heads over to his own door. Once he's let himself in and pulled his sweaty trainers off his feet, he throws himself face first into the couch cushions and lets out a little scream.</p><p>;;</p><p>“I'll get it!” is all Jooheon hears from the bathroom one evening later that week when Hyungwon and Wonho have dropped by with promises of Wonho cooking for them all, a pot tucked under his arm as if Jooheon's kitchen is completely barren (it is), and a sickeningly cute unison “hiiiii” when he opened the door to them.</p><p>“Hyung, no, don't - “Jooheon calls out but cuts himself off with a sigh when he hears the front door open and Wonho cheerily saying hello.</p><p>“Oh. Hi. I was looking for Jooheon-ssi -”</p><p>“Yeah! He lives here. I’m Wonho, Jooheonie’s just in the bathroom. Wait, is that Gucci?”</p><p>Jooheon’s blood runs cold, and he almost brains himself with the bathroom door as he tries to open it, all the while wiping his wet hands on his shirt. It’d be embarrassing if he wasn’t alone, but luckily, no one has to know, ever.</p><p>“Hyungwonnie, have you seen the cats?” </p><p>Jooheon opens the bathroom door and peeks around the corner to see Jaebeom looking like a rabbit in headlights in his entryway, as Hyungwon hums from the kitchen, “One of them is here with me, hyung, maybe the other’s with Jooheon-ah? Cats like to watch people pee!”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, no, this is Gucci. She likes to, um. Escape and hang out in my apartment sometimes,” Jaebeom answers, still holding an entirely unapologetic looking Gucci in his arms. “So I was bringing her home.” Perfect timing, of course.</p><p>“Oh, wow, that’s so nice of you! Naughty Gucci,” Wonho replies, sticking his face closer to the cat, and consequently Jaebeom’s chest.</p><p>Jooheon watches the whole thing like it’s a car crash happening in front of him in slow motion. There’s a wet hand print on the bottom of his white shirt, his hair is all over the place from where Wonho’s ruffled it earlier, and he hasn’t even had a chance to talk about his big, stupid crush on his neighbor, and now -</p><p>“Well now that you’re here, neighbor, you should come in and have dinner with us! We definitely brought way too much.”</p><p>Jooheon can feel his eyes going wide as panic bubbles up in his chest. No, no, no, no, no.</p><p>“Oh, um, that's really kind but I don't want to intrude,” Jaebeom says, letting Gucci jump down onto the floor where she immediately starts purring and rubbing herself against Wonho. God damn it, why does his cat love every single other person apart from him?</p><p>“Please, I insist. Babe, can you set another place at the table?” Wonho calls out towards the kitchen.</p><p>“Sure,” comes Hyungwon’s immediate reply, and he doesn’t even sound surprised. Jooheon’s palms start to sweat as Jaebeom scratches the back of his head, chuckling. </p><p>“Then, I mean, if you’re sure?”</p><p>“Yeah! Come on in! Jooheonie!” Wonho calls out, voice booming through the apartment on Jooheon’s name. And Jooheon steps forward from his hiding place, because, well, fuck it. If this is going to happen, it’s going to happen; Wonho is too soft and he loves people and Jooheon’s just going to have to get into a different mindset for the evening, that’s all. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I’m here,” Jooheon finally replies after taking a deep breath. He smiles at Jaebeom and tries to make it look like his heart isn’t beating a thousand beats per minute. “Hey, Jaebeom-ssi.”</p><p>Jaebeom gives him a worried look as he toes off his shoes and lines them up neatly just inside Jooheon’s front door. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to join you, Jooheon-ssi?”</p><p>“Yeah, of course! I really owe you at this point - I don’t know <i>how</i> she manages to get out…” </p><p>Jaebeom smiles at last and Jooheon’s stomach definitely doesn’t do something funny inside him at the sight of it.  He’s barely aware of Wonho looking between them, before he clears his throat and Jooheon’s head snaps to him. Wonho grins, then leaves with a pat to Jooheon’s shoulder, saying, “I’m going to help Hyungwonnie get the table sorted.”  </p><p>“Cats are crafty,”   Jaebeom says once they’re alone, still looking a little worried at the possibility of intruding. And hot. He looks hot, Jooheon’s brain tells him. Thanks, brain.</p><p>“Has Nora settled in, now?” Jooheon asks, deciding that the cats are a safe, neutral topic for now. Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t like talking about cats – his, other people’s, all cats are good cats.</p><p>Jaebeom nods, sliding on a pair of Jooheon's guest slippers and pushing his hands into his jeans pockets. “Yeah, she’s doing well. We’ve both been made to feel very welcome.” </p><p>Jooheon smiles, trying not to read too much into that last statement and failing, then gestures for Jaebeom to step in further. Their apartments are most probably identical, but he still guides him to the living-room, offers him a seat, and finds out what he wants to drink. The low voices and soft, muffled laughter coming from Wonho and Hyungwon in the kitchen make Jooheon smile to himself as he brings Jaebeom a beer, sitting next to him. A minute later, Gucci is sniffing at his ankles. </p><p>“So Wonho - he’s the gym guy?” Jaebeom asks after a minute where Jooheon just watches him look around at the room while he takes tiny sips of his beer and Jooheon prays for his hands to stop sweating soon.</p><p>“What gave it away? Was it that slim and slender physique of his?” Jooheon says, inordinately pleased when that gets a laugh out of Jaebeom. “We’ve known each other for years. Hyungwonnie-hyung, his boyfriend, is the DJ I’ve mentioned before, actually.”</p><p>Jaebeom's eyes light up at that, making Jooheon laugh. Gucci is climbing up his trouser leg but when she gets to the couch she heads straight for Jaebeom's lap, ignoring Jooheon completely. He watches, envious, as Gucci makes a production out of kneading at Jaebeom’s thighs and turning in a circle a few times before curling up and purring obnoxiously loud. </p><p>“What kind of music do you produce? Anyone I've heard of?” Jaebeom asks as he pets Gucci’s head and rubs at her ears, sending her into whatever counts as rapture for a house cat.</p><p>“Honey-yah, dinner's ready!” Wonho's voice interrupts just as Jooheon was feeling somewhat comfortable in Jaebeom's presence.</p><p>“...Honey-yah?” Jaebeom asks, looking confused, making Jooheon grin. He’s had the nickname for so long now it’s really not been embarrassing for years. </p><p>“That’s what they call me. And it’s part of my producing name, too - Joohoney.” He resists asking if Jaebeom has heard of him and stands, spotting Yoshi sleeping on the cat tree. “C’mon, let’s eat.”</p><p>He quickly does the introduction between Jaebeom and Hyungwon, and they settle down for food. There’s japchae, ramen, galbijjim, a bunch of side dishes, all of which makes Jooheon wriggle happily. </p><p>“You really did make too much for three,” he says as he offers the serving bowl of japchae to Jaebeom first, because his mother taught him well, encouraging him to take more when he only puts a small amount in his own bowl. </p><p>Wonho looks pleased at both Jooheon’s show of manners and Jaebeom’s apparent healthy appetite. “Well, Shownu-hyung was supposed to come too, remember?”</p><p>“It wouldn't have been enough for 4 if Shownu-hyung had made it,” Jooheon scoffs.  “Are he and Kihyun-hyung      being gross marrieds somewhere?”</p><p>“Yep, they're going to the theatre or something,” Hyungwon says between slurps of noodles.  “Kihyun-hyung won that photography prize and they got tickets from the sponsor.”</p><p>Jooheon grins at the thought of Shownu being forced to sit in an audience in a tux   ; he’s too much of a homebody to enjoy wearing anything that restrictive. “Bets on whether Shownu-hyung is still awake by the intermission?”</p><p>“I’m not taking that bet,” Wonho replies with a laugh. Jaebeom, while not saying anything, doesn’t look like he’s having a bad time either, just looking at the three of them, seemingly interested. Jooheon leans a tiny bit closer. </p><p>“Shownu-hyung used to babysit me. Well. I don’t know. Teenage-sit me? Is that a thing? Anyway, we used to hang out when I was like, 14, because my parents worked long hours and he lived close.”</p><p>“And you’re still friends now?”</p><p>“Yeah! He’s the best,” Jooheon replies before stuffing a big piece of beef in his mouth, chewing happily. His eyes meet Jaebeom’s, that are - soft. Gentle. Jooheon flushes, and Hyungwon scratches his throat. </p><p>“When did you move here then, Jaebeom-ssi?”</p><p>“Oh, um, about a month ago? The store’s been doing well in the last few years, so I can afford bigger than a one-bedroom.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? What do you do?”</p><p>“I own a vintage store. Well, I co-own, with my best friend Jinyoung-ah.”</p><p>Hyungwon immediately perks up. “Vintage? Like, Does that include, like, vinyl?” he asks, dropping his chopsticks immediately and leaning forwards in his seat, food apparently forgotten when Jaebeom nods.</p><p>Wonho groans and leans over to flick Jooheon's forehead. “Why did you get him started?”</p><p>“You love me,” Hyungwon says without missing a beat and Jooheon makes a gagging sound at the soft, smitten face Wonho makes.  “Tell me about this store. Where is it? When do you open? Do I get a friend of a friend discount?”</p><p>Jaebeom chuckles, in a way that makes Jooheon’s eyes zero in on his lips, because it’s kinda cute and kinda stupid sounding and it’s so right, coming out of his mouth. When he    answers dutifully, the two of them fall into a conversation easily, and Jooheon just watches, feeling warm in his belly. It’s - nice, is what it is, because Jaebeom’s getting along with his friends and if Jooheon was ever to, let’s say, grow a spine and potentially ask Jaebeom out, it’s good to think his friends would approve. </p><p>Not that he’s going to do that. He catches Wonho’s eyes while taking a sip of his beer, and Wonho smiles and wiggles his eyebrows, making Jooheon choke on his drink, coughing loudly. Jaebeom startles next to him, immediately turning and rubbing his back.</p><p>“Are you okay?” </p><p>Jooheon, red with the coughing and embarrassment, glares at Wonho for a second before nodding. “I’m fine, sorry. Went down the wrong pipe.” </p><p>“I promise he's usually much better at swallowing,” Wonho says, giggling.</p><p>Jaebeom blinks, Hyungwon groans, and Jooheon’s mouth drops open. “Hyung!” </p><p>“I apologize for him, Jaebeom-ssi,” Hyungwon mutters, but there’s a smile on his lips, and maybe this was actually a terrible, <i>terrible</i> idea, and why would he trusts his friends with anything, they’re the worst. </p><p>“No need to be formal,” Jaebeom replies. There’s a smile on his lips when his eyes meet Jooheon’s again, and that’s when Jooheon notices his hand is still on his back   . Warm, so warm.</p><p>Jooheon blacks out for a moment, barely listening as the others discuss ages. He feels sweaty all over, sure that it's beading on his top lip and at his temples, seeping through his shirt where Jaebeom is touching him. Oh, God.</p><p>“How do you all know each other then? You babysit Jooheon-ah as well?”</p><p>“Music,” Hyungwon replies. Wonho nods, still eating. </p><p>Jaebeom’s hand slips down from his shoulder blades to the middle of his back, and Jooheon has no idea if Jaebeom is staying there on purpose or not, but fuck if he’s moving. </p><p>“Honey-yah and I met in the military during our service, actually, but after we got out, we reconnected through work. I used to coach dance before, and we ended up working at the same agency for a while,   “ Wonho says. “Hyungwonnie was a dance trainee. Not one of mine – it wasn’t that kind of teacher-student thing,” he adds, ears turning a little pink.</p><p>“I’ve got friends that used to be trainees,” Jaebeom replies. “I prefer the idea of producing, though.”</p><p>“The hours are just as long, but at least I get to eat what I want these days,” Jooheon says, taking another helping of japchae into his bowl.  “Whenever I miss performing I join him for one of his sets.”  He gestures towards Hyungwon with his chopsticks.</p><p>“Honey-yah is an amazing rapper,” Wonho says, pride evident in his voice.  </p><p>“You should let me know, next time you decide to go on stage. I’d love to see it.” </p><p>Jooheon turns to look at him, cheeks full of glass noodles, but then he nods, smiling. Sadly, that’s when Jaebeom does move his hand, going back to the food. The conversation turns to the cats, Wonho listening intently as Jaebeom talks about Nora, about the first time he met Jooheon, how he wants more cats, in the near future. </p><p>The conversation moves and shifts easily. It’s obvious that Jaebeom isn’t used to the way Jooheon interacts with his long-time friends, but he’s not shy, he’s interested, and he participates. It sets off a little fluttering feeling of hope in Jooheon’s stomach, hope that Jaebeom will be counted on that list one day, too.</p><p>And it’s actually a solid few hours later when he finally says, after they’re done with food and they’ve migrated to the living-room: “Well, I should go. Nora’s going to be thinking I abandoned her.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” Jooheon replies immediately, standing up when Jaebeom does. He walks him to the door, holding it while Jaebeom puts on his shoes.</p><p>“Thanks for inviting me. Your friends are nice,” Jaebeom says, and Jooheon huffs an amused chuckle. He’d diss them but he can’t lie - he loves them, and they <i>are</i> nice, even if they can be dicks.</p><p>“I’m glad you agreed, I - I had a good time. And thank you, again, for bringing Gucci back. She really likes you.”</p><p>Jaebeom nods, straightening up from tugging on his shoes. He looks like he wants to say something else, his eyes bright in the dimly lit hallway, and Jooheon waits, looking up at him. Jaebeom’s hand moves, reaching out for Jooheon, and -</p><p>“Honey-yah! Don’t Wake Mother is on, c’mon!” </p><p>Jaebeom’s hand pulls back, and he chuckles awkwardly. The spell broken, Jooheon opens the door, biting on his bottom lip.</p><p>“Good night, Jooheon-ah,” Jaebeom says, voice soft. </p><p>“Night, hyung.”</p><p>;;</p><p>Jooheon’s next free day sees Hyungwon showing up with coffee and batting his eyelashes at him until Jooheon agrees to abandon his plans of vegetating on the couch watching repeats of <i>Memories of the Alhambra</i> in his underwear and go with him to Jaebeom's record store.</p><p>“You know it's weird when you're this animated first thing in the morning, hyung,” Jooheon grumbles, shuffling back into his bedroom to get dressed. He really tries not to think too much about what he's pulling out of his wardrobe to put on but if it just happens to be the soft brown sweater that Wonho always says makes him look like a little teddy bear and black jeans that fit like a second skin then so be it. He pulls on a beanie because his hair is beyond help right now and maybe it'll stop him from pulling all of it out by the time they get to the store.</p><p>“You look like Shownu-hyung in that sweater. Very cute. Please?   I'll treat you to samgyeopsal afterwards,” Hyungwon says when Jooheon gets back to the living room. “Shownu-hyung said there's a new place we should try.” He stands up from the couch, brushing cat fur from his jeans as he goes, and points to Jooheon's shoes by the door. “Come on.”</p><p>And so they go. The train isn’t too crowded when they get on, the interior all wrapped up with ads for an idol’s birthday, which Jooheon barely reads as he sips his coffee, the steam from the cup fogging up his glasses. </p><p>Shit. He’s still wearing his glasses. He didn’t even <i>think</i> of putting on contacts, and now Jaebeom’s going to see him with his huge black-framed glasses. Damn it, and damn Hyungwon for taking him by surprise. He huffs, shoulders rising up to his ears.</p><p>“Why do you want to go there anyway?” He asks. Hyungwon’s changed his hair recently, it’s all dark and curly and, admittedly, it looks very nice on him. </p><p>“I want to see if they have anything I could get for Jackson-ah’s party. He said he’s got turntables but they’re all old school, so I want new vinyls.”</p><p>Jooheon makes a noncommittal noise in answer, and Hyungwon smirks. </p><p>“You like him, don’t you?”</p><p>“Who?” Jooheon says, feigning ignorance and looking down at his coffee cup.</p><p>“Jaebeom-ah,” Hyungwon says.</p><p>Jooheon opens and closes his mouth once then says, “He’s a nice guy.”</p><p>Hyungwon's smirk gets even more evil-looking.  “You liiiiike him,” he says, bumping his shoulder into Jooheon's.</p><p>“Hey, watch the coffee!”</p><p>“He’s hot,” Hyungwon replies, totally ignoring Jooheon’s offended squawk. “You’re allowed to move on, you know.” He adds, softer now. </p><p>Jooheon rolls his eyes. That’s not what it’s about, at all. He knows he’s allowed to move on, he’s moved on, thank you very much. He’s over everything that happened with Minhyuk. He just hasn’t had time to meet anyone new, that’s all. </p><p>“I know,” he ends up saying, avoiding Hyungwon’s eyes. “I <i>have</i>.”</p><p>Hyungwon hums, sounding like he’s not entirely sure about that, but thankfully drops it. “For what it’s worth, I think Jaebeom-ah likes you, too.” </p><p>“For what it’s worth, I didn’t ask.”</p><p>“You never do, that's your problem,” Hyungwon says, nodding sagely, like he knows everything. Stupid smug marrieds. Jooheon needs new friends, never mind a new lover.</p><p>“We’ll see if I let you crash on my couch next time you had a fight with Wonho-hyung and you need to sulk it out,” Jooheon replies, but there’s no heat or bitterness behind his words, which means that yes, he’ll let Hyungwon do just that, and Hyungwon grins, because he knows. </p><p>Finally, they get to Hongdae, and step out of the metro, out into the busy streets. Hongdae is crowded as always, people spilling in and out of buildings, the buzz of conversation mixing in with the music coming from stores, the smell of hotteok wafting through the air. It reminds Jooheon he hasn’t had any food yet, but he was promised some after their outing, so he soldiers on, following Hyungwon to the records store. </p><p>It’s unassuming from the outside, small, but as soon as they enter, it feels right. There are rows of boxes full of vinyl and CDs, posters all over the walls, and a listening booth in the back near the counter. It doesn’t feel bigger on the inside - it’s actually a little cramped, but it’s undeniably <i>cool</i>. There’s Lee Hi  playing over the store’s speakers, and only two other customers around, one of them talking with Jaebeom.</p><p>Hyungwon looks like he might burst a blood vessel in excitement and Jooheon can't help but find it infectious, shaking his head as he looks around slowly while Hyungwon makes a beeline for the section labelled up with “Dance/Club/DJ” like it was made just for him.</p><p>Jooheon gets an idea for a sample he wants to use for one of the solo artists he's working with on their mixtape and has his head down searching through the shelves when someone taps on his shoulder and almost sends him through the ceiling.</p><p>“Oh my god, you know better than to sneak up behind me, Hyungwon-ah!” Jooheon exclaims, hand over his rapidly beating heart as he turns around to face - not Hyungwon at all, but Jaebeom.</p><p>“Hi,” Jaebeom says. He’s smiling, looking genuinely happy to see Jooheon here, and even more amused by the reaction he got. Jooheon clutches his - thankfully - empty coffee cup to his chest, trying his best to calm his fast beating heart. “Fancy seeing you here.”</p><p>Yeah, okay, Jooheon’s heart is not going at that speed because of the fright anymore. Jaebeom looks positively radiant, truly in his element, and Jooheon wants to burn the image onto his retinas.</p><p>“Hi,” he finally replies, tucking the sleeves of his sweater over his hands. He grins, relaxing against the box of CDs behind him. “I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to come, actually.” </p><p>“Do you like it?”    </p><p>“It's awesome; very cool,” Jooheon says, pushing his glasses up his nose with one finger poking out from his sleeve. Fuck it - if he's going to see Jaebeom while he's wearing them, he might as well make it cute. Not that he’s trying to be cute for Jaebeom, although – okay, yeah, he totally wants Jaebeom to think he’s cute, because they’re kind of flirting, right now? Maybe? He might be imagining it, but he doesn’t think he is. But while he’s rusty, he knows he can make himself look pretty adorable if he tries. That’s something, isn’t it?</p><p>“Thanks! It's our baby, kind of,” Jaebeom says, hands in his pockets as he rocks back on his heels a little. “Can a store   be a baby?”</p><p>Jooheon remembers that Jaebeom mentioned a co-owner, and he looks around to, indeed, see another guy behind the counter, ringing up the customer Jaebeom was talking to earlier. The guy’s all smiles behind his glasses, dressed in what feels more like a law student would wear than a records store owner, but then again, what does Jooheon know about law students’ fashion? </p><p>Turning back to Jaebeom, he grins again, all dimples and barely-there eyes. “I think so, yeah. Why not? You put a lot of yourself into this place, it should count.” </p><p>Jaebeom nods, before looking over to the box of CDs Jooheon was rifling through. “You looking for something in particular?”</p><p>“Hm, I’m trying to find the perfect jazz sample for someone I’m producing for. He’s got this funky retro sound and I think it’d fit really well, but I don’t have an exact song in head. Any recommendations?”</p><p>Jaebeom hums and leans over Jooheon's shoulder to flick through the cases, his cheek close enough to Jooheon's that he can feel the warmth of it and oh god he smells so good still.</p><p>Before Jooheon can do something really stupid like press his cheek to Jaebeom’s, Jaebeom is pulling back, holding a CD up between the two of them, the jacket saying <i>Hap’nin’</i>. “This has got all sorts of jazz funk gems. You should give it a listen,” he says, gesturing towards the listening booth. </p><p><i>You should come with me</i> is the answer that dies in Jooheon’s throat as he takes the CD gingerly. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I'll keep looking and bring you another if I find any,” Jaebeom says, his tone rising at the end so it's almost a question.</p><p>Jooheon nods.  “Cool, I'll - I'll do that, then.”</p><p>Jooheon nods again and goes over to the booth, muffling a small scream in his sweater paws once the soundproof door closes behind him.</p><p>But, as is usual for him, he does get lost in the music. He plays the song, once, twice, three times, fingers beating in rhythm with it, brain fitting it to the melody he already has in his head, how the lyrics would work. He could layer it, make it a thrumming undertone to the song; he thinks of possibilities, tapping the beat and bopping his head.</p><p>Jooheon only emerges from the booth when Hyungwon taps on the window after a while, beckoning him out. </p><p>“You got what you wanted?” Jooheon asks, and Hyungwon grins, bright, cheeks flushed all pretty. </p><p>“Yeah!” Hyungwon holds up the heavy-looking bag bearing the name of the store - <i>Modern Memories</i> - with one hand and starts herding Jooheon towards the register with the other.  </p><p>He can’t see Jaebeom anywhere so he assumes the guy ringing up his purchase is his co-owner, which, for some reason, has Jooheon feeling almost nervous about making a bad first impression.  He smiles at him, trying to remember if Jaebeom had told him the guy’s name but before he can introduce himself, Hyungwon is calling his name from the middle of the store, loud enough that Jooheon’s sure they heard it in the ramen place down the street.  </p><p> </p><p>“Jooheon-ah! They have this old Mad Clown mixtape you worked on here!” </p><p>He waves the CD enthusiastically, and Jooheon gives him a rictus grin and a sweaty-palmed thumbs up before turning back to Jaebeom’s friend - Jinyoung? Yeah, Jinyoung - who’s now looking at him with a considered expression.. </p><p>“Ah, so you’re Jooheon-ssi.”    </p><p>Jooheon’s head snaps back from his wallet, surprised at the tone in Jinyoung’s voice. Like he’s heard the name before, and not just because Hyungwon yelled it for all of Hongdae to hear just a second ago.  Almost like Jaebeom’s been talking about him.  Maybe.</p><p>”Yes,” Jooheon says with a nod, trying to at least be sure of one thing in this moment.</p><p>Jinyoung looks at him, his pleasant commercial smile having slipped into something a little more critical. Jooheon finds himself heating up even more under the scrutiny. Jinyoung is not exactly huge, or that much taller than him, or physically scary, but he’s still wildly intimidating to Jooheon, even if he’s not entirely sure why. It’s this first impression thing again – Jinyoung is Jaebeom’s best friend, Jooheon likes Jaebeom, so he wants Jinyoung to like him. The logic checks out in his own head.</p><p>“Hm,” Jinyoung finally says, and Jooheon frowns as he hands over money to cover the CD. </p><p>“What?” He’s not frowning, exactly, but he is kind of confused, and he’s pretty sure it shows on his face, since he’s never really been able to ever hide his feelings. Meanwhile, Jinyoung’s face is a mask of complete ineffability.  </p><p>“Nothing. I thought you’d be taller.”  </p><p>Jooheon blinks, confused for a second until his brain catches up to the situation and confirms his wild hope that Jaebeom has been talking about him to Jinyoung. He can feel his ears going red.</p><p>“I'm Jinyoung,” he says, holding out Jooheon's receipt. Jooheon pokes the tips of his fingers out from the end of his sleeve to take it, not wanting to see just how tiny they must look in comparison with Jinyoung’s long, elegant looking ones.  He already feels weirdly inferior enough, no need to add fuel to that fire.</p><p>He fiddles with the paper a little and licks his lips before replying. “Uh, yeah. I know. It’s - nice to meet you?” </p><p>Jinyoung nods, and Jooheon grabs his bag and shoves the receipt in. He looks around the store again, but still no Jaebeom. “Tell Jaebeom-hyung I say thank you for the recommendation?” Now, why did he say that like he’s asking? He’s not asking. He’s a grown man with a huge crush on Jinyoung’s best friend, but surely, he can stand his ground. Or not.  </p><p>Jinyoung nods again, but it looks like he’s almost smiling now. Who wouldn’t in the face of Jooheon’s bumbling nervousness. “Okay.”</p><p>;;</p><p>Jooheon tries to avoid working on his day job stuff when he's at home, but sometimes he'll get an excited email from a singer or a rapper with a hook that leads him to his home studio, and he can't help but get lost in the music. </p><p>It's one such night a few weeks after Jooheon and Hyungwon  ventured to the record shop when he hears something over the beat in his headphones that makes him pause. Something falling over? He gets up to check, grabbing the nearest thing as a weapon in case it's a burglar or a ghost or a vampire, because you can never be too careful.  </p><p>He rounds the corner wielding his - he looks down - his half-drunk can of Monster and calls out quietly, “Who's there?”</p><p>The liquid sloshes over his knuckles when he suddenly drops his hand , seeing that it’s no burglar at all. Instead, sitting primly on the coffee table, having knocked an xBox controller down to the floor, is Nora. Jooheon feels relief flood his body, making him shaky for a second. </p><p>“Hey, darling. What are you doing here, huh? Don’t you think your human is going to be worried about you?”    </p><p>You know. That human that lives next door, with the shoulders and the smile and the beautiful twin moles on his eyelid. That human that Nora gets to hang out with <i>every day</i> while Jooheon just languishes, on the other side of the wall. That human. How does she keep on ending up in his apartment, when she could be with Jaebeom? Curled up in Jaebeom’s lap, cuddling with him, licking – Jooheon stops that train of thought right there.</p><p>Jooheon thinks that maybe, he and Jaebeom should be exchanging phone numbers. But there’s also something a little romantic about the way Jooheon grabs Nora carefully and pads over to Jaebeom’s apartment, at 1am, in socks and loose grey sweatpants and an oversized hoodie.</p><p>He knocks on the door gently at first, not wanting to make too much noise for the rest of their floor, but then tries again a little more firmly when there's no answer.</p><p>The door opens a crack and for a second there's only black fluffy hair until a pillow-crease marked cheek appears beneath it, one eye blinking at the light coming from the hallway behind Jooheon.</p><p>“Joo - Nora?” Jaebeom’s voice is soft and scratchy as he opens the door wider. </p><p>Jooheon gives him an apologetic look, all the while taking in a very sleepy looking Jaebeom. So utterly cute and cozy looking in his oversized t-shirt and shorts with his hair tied up in a little sprout on top of his head; it’s really not very fair. Jooheon gets a little tongue-tied, staring for a second too long.   </p><p>“I’m sorry to wake you, I thought you’d rather that than not find her in the morning again,” he says, whispering when he finds his words again.</p><p>Jaebeom coughs to clear his throat and then nods, opening the door a little wider. “You can bring her inside,” he says, stepping back and motioning for Jooheon to enter the apartment.</p><p>“Um, you sure? It's so late and you were sleeping,” Jooheon says, petting Nora when she starts purring against his chest.</p><p>“I'll make us some hot chocolate,” Jaebeom says, smiling, leading Jooheon inside with a gentle hand on his arm. “You can sit on the couch if you want.”</p><p>Nora jumps out of his arms when Jooheon steps into the apartment, nodding softly. He squints in the darkness, the apartment only lit by the moonlight streaming from the windows, until Jaebeom turns on the light in the kitchen. It makes Jooheon squint harder, but at least he gets to see that the layout of their apartments is the same. Jaebeom’s is more sparse than his own. He’s got a huge television and a huge, comfy looking couch, no coffee table, and a cat tree that’s more like a cat jungle gym, going from one wall to the other.  </p><p>Instead of sitting down, Jooheon shuffles to the doorway of the kitchen, just to watch Jaebeom. Nora rubs against his calves, purring contently. There’s something about watching Jaebeom move in his own space, looking sleepy but efficient as he pulls down mugs and turns on a fancy looking coffee maker. He looks domestic, and cozy, and warm, and Jooheon wants to walk over, wrap his arms around Jaebeom from behind and breathe in.</p><p>Maybe he really should be going to bed. </p><p>Jaebeom turns around as the machine starts gurgling, and he looks surprised for a second before he smiles at Jooheon.  “I’m sorry if she bothered you while you were working,” he says softly, barely loud enough to be heard over the machine.</p><p>“I didn't know she was there until she knocked something over,” Jooheon says, moving closer and leaning against the counter just by Jaebeom's elbow.</p><p>“Hooligan,” Jaebeom says down to Nora where she's sitting by their feet. She doesn’t look to be having any regrets, and Jaebeom snorts lightly. “I’m not feeding you again, baby. You’ve gotta wait until morning.” </p><p>Jooheon watches with rapt interest, wondering once again how he got so lucky to end up with not only a hot neighbor, but a hot neighbor who likes cats. It feels serendipitous. </p><p>Jaebeom snaps him out of his daze by handing him a mug, and then they walk together out of the kitchen, Nora meowing behind them. Jooheon settles on the plush, comfortable couch, burrowing into his way too-large hoodie. </p><p>“So do you just… live at night?” Jaebeom asks, using his free hand to pet Nora, who’s jumped up to the spot on the couch between the two of them, like she’s trying to physically keep them from shuffling closer, or something. Not that Jooheon would do that. Nope. </p><p>“Yes and no,” Jooheon says with a chuckle. “I just get hit with inspiration at weird times, and so do the artists I work with.”</p><p>“Surely it gets annoying sometimes though, if you just want to sleep.”</p><p>“Sometimes, yeah,” Jooheon says. “It helps with overseas artists though, with the time differences.”</p><p>“Doesn’t it make things difficult for relationships?”</p><p>The question feels loaded, but Jooheon is sleepy, and warm, and comfortable on the couch. He reaches out to scritch between Nora’s ears, pleased when she purrs. When he looks up, Jaebeom is looking straight at him, and Jooheon shrugs a shoulder.</p><p>“Haven’t had one of those in a while, but it definitely played a part in my last breakup,” he says, swallowing thickly, heart feeling heavy in his chest. It’s not exactly what he wants to discuss right now, especially not with Jaebeom. He doesn’t really want to scare Jaebeom away, after all. “But it wasn’t the main factor.”</p><p>“What was?” Jaebeom asks softly, leaning a little closer, even as he brings his mug up to his face. Jooheon shrugs again. </p><p>“We just fell out of love. Realized we were better as friends. But hey, enough about me. What about you?”</p><p>“You've met my ex; we're still friends,” Jaebeom says.  </p><p>“I've met them?” Jooheon is too tired to think of any of Jaebeom's friends that he's met besides Nora and that's such a wrong image that he can't help scrunching his face up, a little disgusted at his own imagination for going there.</p><p>“Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebeom replies, lighting up the lightbulb in Jooheon’s head. “Although calling him my ex is maybe pushing it.  It’s more that now we’re just friends <i>without</i> the benefits.”</p><p>“Oh. Well, that explains it.”</p><p>“Explains what?”</p><p>“He’s the one that rang me up at your store, and he, um. He just seemed like he was sizing me up.” Like Jooheon’s competition, which Jooheon would <i>like</i> to be, but he’s not going to say that, thank you very much, he doesn’t plan on ruining everything right now. “I was surprised he knew who I was.”</p><p>Jaebeom flushes behind his mug, averting his eyes. “Well, he’s one of my best friends. And you’re a new friend. Right?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jooheon doesn’t allow himself to feel like shit about this, not just yet. Later. “Yeah, of course.”</p><p>Jooheon watches Jaebeom's fingers as they dig into Nora's fur, pushing it this way and that, making the cat purr loudly, rumbling away between them. There are all sorts of questions swirling around Jooheon's brain but he doesn't know if he'll ever be brave enough to ask them.</p><p>“We should hang out properly some time,” Jaebeom says after a little while, sounding drowsy.  “Don't you think?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jooheon agrees easily, because he wants that. He wants to see more of Jaebeom, in any way he can, and it feels simple right now to admit to himself that, okay, he does have a crush. A huge crush.</p><p>But he doesn’t have to do much about it. He can let it grow, enjoy Jaebeom’s company, make the most of the time he has to spend with him. It doesn’t have to become a <i>thing</i>.</p><p>A soft little snort brings him back to the moment, and he looks at Jaebeom to see he’s fallen asleep, looking younger, features slack and content. Jooheon watches him for a little while, feeling himself growing more tired, and maybe he could just, rest his head here for a moment, let himself enjoy the quiet -</p><p>Wait. No. That’d be so awkward in the morning, if he fell asleep here, with Jaebeom. He wants to, wants to let go, but the instant the thought takes hold, he knows he can’t. Instead, as quietly and softly as he can, he takes Jaebeom’s empty mug from his hands, and brings both mugs back to the kitchen, leaving them in the sink. He spots a notepad stuck to the fridge door and quickly writes down a message to thank Jaebeom and hope he slept well, leaves it on the empty spot he’s left in the couch, and then, with one last look at Jaebeom, he shuffles back home, and to his own bed.</p><p>;;</p><p>Jooheon is impressed at just how many people Jackson has managed to cram into his apartment for his birthday party. He's also impressed that none of the neighbors have called in a noise complaint because he could hear the thump of the bass all the way from the elevator   on the way up to Jackson's.</p><p>Of course, he’s arriving late. He was at work, there was no way he wasn’t going home first to shower and get changed, as well as pick up the new watch he’s got Jackson as a present. So when he makes it to Jackson’s apartment, it’s already bustling, loud and hot in there. For a moment, he thinks he walks in without getting noticed, but then, an arm slinks around his shoulders, and a damp, beery breath skates across his face. </p><p>“Jooheoniiiiiiiiiiiiiie, you made it!” </p><p>Jooheon grins, looking up at Jackson and leaning into the one-armed hug. “Hey, hyung. Happy birthday!” He says, offering the wrapped present to Jackson. </p><p>Who stumbles a step back, looking genuinely shocked and pleased. “For me? Really?” </p><p>Jooheon laughs, catching Kihyun and Shownu behind Jackson, and waving at them before he focuses back on Jackson. “No, it’s for your cleaner. Do give them a huge tip tomorrow.”</p><p>Jackson snorts and smacks him on the arm, then drags him further into the crowd once Jooheon has kicked off his shoes into the mound by the door. Someone is definitely going home with two left feet later.</p><p>He greets the people he knows as he worms his way through, getting kisses pressed to his cheeks and sweaty one-armed hugs. Jackson gets swept away from his side to welcome more guests and accept gifts, so Jooheon grabs a dubiously colored mixed drink and knocks it back quick enough that the taste can't linger too much in his mouth.</p><p>“Don't drink too many of those,” Kihyun's voice says in his ear.  “Jackson's friend Yugyeom-ah made them.”</p><p>Jooheon turns his head to see a very sweaty looking Kihyun and Shownu who have clearly already been dancing. He grins, cheerfully throwing his arms around both of them, not caring about the sweat, because he hasn’t seen them in a while.</p><p>“Why should I be worried about Jackson’s friend Yugyeom-ah’s drinks?” he asks once he’s released them, making Shownu chuckle. </p><p>“He did it all by eye, and by the time he was done a whole bottle of vodka was gone,” Kihyun explains, reaching out for a beer for himself. Jooheon smiles even wider. </p><p>“That sounds excellent to me,” he replies, looking around the room once he’s got another drink in hand. He stops when he spots Minhyuk in the corner, looking awfully cozy with a young-looking, dimpled tall guy in a denim jacket. “Who’s that with Minhyuk-hyung?”</p><p>He winces at the unsteady tone of his voice. Shownu gives him a gentle look, all papa bear as he moves in to Jooheon’s side, more or less blocking the view. “It’s his new boyfriend.”</p><p>“Minhyuk’s into teenagers now?”</p><p>Kihyun clicks his tongue disapprovingly. “He’s 22. Jooheon-ah -”</p><p>Jooheon raises a hand, interrupting him. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything. I was just curious. Good for him.” He can’t exactly blame his friends for being worried; after their break-up, things had been bitter, for quite a while. Every time their friends tried to put them together in a room, they’d fight, with venomous words and hurtful barbs. It had not been an easy break-up, but they’d gotten over it, slowly, allowing themselves to lick their wounds in their separate corners, until they could find a way to rekindle their friendship. Now, he truly just wants Minhyuk to be happy, even if it’s strange, to see him with another guy.  </p><p>Kihyun purses his lips like a disapproving auntie but doesn't say anything else. Jooheon smiles.  “I mean it. I'm happy for him. Just because we didn't work out, doesn't mean I want him to be miserable for the rest of his life.”</p><p>Shownu leans closer into Jooheon's ear and whispers, “Say the word and I'll break his arm.”</p><p>The words startle a laugh out of Jooheon, who leans into Shownu as he giggles, already feeling warmed up by the atmosphere, his friends, and the alcohol he’s having on an empty stomach. “Thank you, hyung. I know I can always count on you.”</p><p>Shownu nods. “Have you seen Hyungwonnie and Wonho-yah yet?”</p><p>“No, I was getting a drink first before making the rounds some more,” Jooheon replies, and Kihyun gestures over to the DJ corner, where Hyungwon is currently spinning, with Wonho sitting close. Jooheon nods, grabbing a second of the Jackson’s friend Yugyeom’s cocktails before he walks over to say hello.</p><p>He doesn’t mean to bump into anyone   on the way, but he does anyway, some of his drinks sloshing over. He looks up to apologize, only to stop in his tracks. “Jinyoung-ssi?”</p><p>Sure enough, that’s Jaebeom’s friend right here. Is their world really small, or what? Jinyoung gives Jooheon a nod, looking mildly embarrassed. “Hi.”</p><p>“I didn’t know you knew Sseunie,” Jooheon says, which, duh, they had a two minute conversation, once. </p><p>“We went to university together.”</p><p>“Oh, right.” Jooheon wishes he'd had a few more dubious drinks, but he doesn't need alcohol to be able to insult Jackson. “They let just anyone in, don't they?”</p><p>Jinyoung doesn’t say anything for a moment, because he snickers, hiding it into his own drink. Then he nods, and disappears into the crowd. Strange guy, Jooheon thinks, but not unlikeable. He himself heads over to the DJ corner, finally, greeting his friends with an extravagant wave.</p><p>He’s possibly drinking too much, too fast, but he doesn’t really care - he’s got the day off tomorrow, and he hasn’t partied in a really long time. And he knows most people around, too, which is nice; nice to see old faces, nice to get to share a drink and a dance with them, letting his social butterfly tendencies to most of the work for him. That, and Jackson’s friend Yugyeom’s drinks, too, which are really quite strong, and tasty. </p><p>Jooheon even meets said Yugyeom at some point, a tall, broad guy with a cute giggle, obviously also intoxicated as he leans on Jackson as they chat. He’s nice. Everyone’s nice. The room is toasty warm, the music’s good, everything is great. </p><p>Which is why when Jooheon trips on someone’s foot and ends up stumbling back directly into a lap, he does nothing but laugh, even if he still has the sense to blush, but he’s smiling so hard his eyes are pretty much closed. He’s at least on his fourth cocktail. </p><p>“Sorry!”</p><p>The hands on his waist feel nice and strong, the fingers digging in just right that Jooheon's last sober brain cell has to stop him from wriggling further back into the lap beneath him.</p><p>“It's okay, Honey-yah,” the lap says, sounding very familiar.</p><p>Jooheon forces his eyes to open wider, and yes, yes indeed, the lap he’s landed on is none other’s than Jaebeom’s. Jooheon doesn’t even think - unsurprising, considering how drunk he is - and sways closer, fingers catching Jaebeom’s shirt. “Jaebeom-hyung! It’s you! You’re here!”</p><p>Wait. Why is he here? “Why are you here?” </p><p>Jaebeom is smiling, and he doesn’t look like he terribly needs or wants Jooheon to move. His hands are still on Jooheon’s waist, one of his thumbs drawing circles in a way that’s both soothing and distracting for Jooheon’s addled mind. </p><p>“Sseunie-yah and I go way back.”</p><p>“Yeah? Fuck, how amazing is that? Sseunie-yah and I go way back, too!”  </p><p>Jooheon giggles and takes drinks another mouthful of his cocktail - was it always this bright blue color?  “When - when I first met him - he -,” Jooheon cuts himself off with another giggle.  “He said to me, 'you're the Korean Kendrick Lamar'.”</p><p>Jaebeom's laugh sounds good but it feels even better vibrating through Jooheon's body.</p><p>“And then the next time I met him, he made me touch his titty.” Jooheon can barely speak for laughing.</p><p>Jaebeom laughs harder, holding Jooheon steady in his   small but strong hands. “He’s tried to make me do that, once,” he says in answer, and Jooheon cackles, imagining the scene in his head. </p><p>One of Jaebeom’s hands is sliding up along Jooheon’s spine, and wow, does that feel warm, and kinda tingly, up along his spine.   Almost as nice as his other hand, which is now on Jooheon’s thigh. He’s got good thighs if he does say so himself, so enjoy, Jaebeom, enjoy. He tries to focus, just looking at Jaebeom for a moment, seeing him looking right back, eyes soft and dark, lips slightly parted. Inviting. </p><p>“God, you smell good,” Jooheon says without thinking, leaning a fraction closer. It’s the same aftershave as before, sort of floral, but also sort of leathery and masculine, and it makes Jooheon’s mouth water.  </p><p>Jaebeom chuckles, looking down at the drink in Jooheon’s hand. “How many of those have you had, Jooheon-ah?”</p><p>Jooheon hums, tilting his head to one side.  “More than two, less than ten. Is my tongue blue now?”</p><p>He sticks it out, squinting past his nose trying to look at it while Jaebeom laughs even harder.</p><p>“I'm glad it's less than ten, you'd need a liver transplant,” Jaebeom says, dragging his nails back down Jooheon's spine; it makes the tingles increase tenfold, and Jooheon squirms a little, helpless to stop it in his current state.   “Yugyeomie is a menace. And yeah, your tongue is blue.”</p><p>“D'you think I'd look good with blue hair?” Jooheon asks, drunkenness well and truly catching up to him now that he's stopped dancing and rushing about. “Always wanted blue hair. Kihyun-hyung had pink hair for a while. He should - “Jooheon pauses then leans around Jaebeom's shoulder to yell in Kihyun's direction.  “Hey, Kihyun-hyung! You should dye your hair pink again!”</p><p>“Why are you sitting on someone, Jooheonie?” Comes the immediate, sharp response. Jooheon uses Jaebeom’s shoulders to lean forward, practically sticking his chest in his face.</p><p>“It’s not just <i>someone</i>, it’s Jaebeom-hyung!”</p><p>There’s no need to qualify it further than that. It’s Jaebeom-hyung, who likes cats, which is awesome, and he’s gentle  , and hot, and Jooheon is sitting on his lap. Wow. He pulls back, looking down at Jaebeom. </p><p>“Do you want me to move?”</p><p>Jaebeom shakes his head, his hand squeezing Jooheon’s thigh a tiny bit, just enough to be felt, fingers digging in. Jooheon swallows hard, caught in Jaebeom’s gaze. Jaebeom's lips look wet and shiny and Jooheon feels his own mouth water, making him suck his own bottom lip in between his teeth. Jooheon knows his lips are nice , that guys like to bite on them - maybe Jaebeom would like to bite them too? He could find out, couldn't he? Just a little taste... </p><p>“Ohhhhhhh, look who made friends!” </p><p>Jooheon might castrate Jackson with his own kitchen scissors for interrupting. He turns to him with a dark look in his eyes, which just makes Jackson laugh.</p><p>“We’re neighbors,” Jaebeom says, even though his hands are still all over Jooheon, and Jooheon’s still sitting on his lap, in a pretty not-quite-just-neighborly way. The more Jooheon thinks about where he is, exactly, the more his brain feels like it’s suspended in molasses. </p><p>He tries to unstick his thoughts, and as he does, he leans back, and back, until he starts tumbling right out of Jaebeom’s lap. Only the fact that Jaebeom is still holding on to him keep him from falling to the floor. </p><p>“Whoa, whoa! Are you okay?” Jaebeom looks at Jooheon, who just nods, mouth slightly open. His hero. Jaebeom turns back towards Jackson “I should probably help him get home. It’s getting late, and he’s wasted.”  </p><p>“Aw, JB-hyung, you’re <i>such</i> a party pooper,” Jackson says and pouts exaggeratedly. If Jooheon wasn’t so drunk and didn’t want to prolong this moment with Jaebeom as badly as he does, he probably would agree with Jackson, but right now? Right now he’s siding with Jaebeom, no questions asked.  </p><p>“Hyung, he’s right, I should probably -” he <i>attempts</i> to get off of Jaebeom, but his legs feel like jelly, and Jaebeom has to hold him steady, pulling him back to his chest to keep Jooheon from falling, making him yelp, clutching at Jaebeom’s shoulder. “Thanks,” he says quietly, in the scant space between them.</p><p>“You both suck,” is all Jackson says before he’s gone again. Jooheon didn’t even notice he was still here. </p><p>“I'm really drunk,” Jooheon says after a second. The walls are definitely not straight when he looks around, looking for Wonho or Shownu or one of the hyungs who normally takes him home.</p><p>“Yeah you are, Jooheon-ah,” Jaebeom says, smiling at him, only lifting one side of his mouth.</p><p>“You should - you should call me Honey,” Jooheon says. “I like it when you call me Honey.”</p><p>“You’re drunk, <i>Honey-yah</i>,” Jaebeom says, putting emphasis on it, and Jooheon grins, because he might be drunk but he knows when he’s being teased, and Jaebeom is really cute. </p><p>“If you help me find one of my hyungs - they’ll take me home,” he says softly, to which Jaebeom frowns. </p><p>“I can take you. I’ve had enough partying for the night, and it’s not like it’d be out of my way.”</p><p>Jooheon would ask if he’s sure, but Jaebeom is already maneuvering the two of them into a standing position, Jooheon wobbling a little as he does, grabbing a fistful of Jaebeom’s shirt for balance. </p><p>“Thanks,” he murmurs, but he doesn’t think Jaebeom hears him. </p><p>It actually takes them quite a while to leave, because they have to say goodbye to everyone around and everyone around is also drunk, so there’s a lot of cries and hugs and promises to text once they’ve made it home, along with a few waggled eyebrows from those who think this is a hook-up. </p><p>Jooheon wishes. </p><p>He's vaguely aware of being poured into a taxi once they get outside, eyes and limbs too heavy to stay awake for the drive home.</p><p>Jooheon whines when Jaebeom shakes him awake, batting his hands away from him. “Tired, leave me alone.”</p><p>“Gotta get out of the car now, Honey-yah,” Jaebeom says, followed by the click of his seat belt being undone. “We're home.”</p><p>Oh. Well, okay. He struggles with his seatbelt but gets it off, thanking their taxi driver a little sluggishly, and then his door is opening, Jaebeom reaching in to help him out. Jooheon sways into him, chest to chest, chin hooking over Jaebeom’s shoulder, and Jaebeom wraps an arm around his waist, warm and comfortable. Jooheon feels the rumble of his voice but doesn’t really catch what he’s saying, but then the taxi is driving away, and Jaebeom is nudging Jooheon. </p><p>“You’re okay to walk?” He asks, practically into Jooheon’s ear, which makes a delicious little shiver run down his spine. He nods after a moment, managing to move until he’s by Jaebeom’s side instead of sprawled all over him. </p><p>“S’not fair, you know,” Jooheon complains as they wait for the elevator. </p><p>“What isn’t?” </p><p>“You’re like. Sber. So-ber. I can’t even enjoy you drunk.”</p><p>The elevator dings, and Jaebeom helps Jooheon in. “You’re not missing out on much.”</p><p>“I think you're just saying that,” Jooheon says, swaying.</p><p>“Nah, it’s true. I don’t really drink, anyway. It’s definitely not attractive on me.”     </p><p>Jooheon tips his head up towards Jaebeom’s, his hand coming up like he’s about to touch Jaebeom’s cheek, wanting to smooth out the frown that’s formed on his lips, but dropping before he can do that. “I think you’re attractive.”</p><p>Jaebeom laughs but doesn’t answer, because the elevator pings, and he starts moving again, Jooheon’s body taking a moment longer. He finds himself with his face smushed against the back of Jaebeom’s shoulder as they walk out of the elevator, and he giggles. They get to his door, Jooheon leaning back against it heavily, but not quite letting go of Jaebeom. </p><p>“Do you remember your door code?”</p><p>“It's Gucci-Yoshi's birthday,” Jooheon says then giggles before stopping abruptly, slapping both hands to his cheeks.  “Oh, no, my babies! I've been gone and they need dinner!”</p><p>He makes himself dizzy as he spins around to face the door, squinting down at the keypad.  Jaebeom is still laughing, one hand on Jooheon's hip to keep him steady while he fights his front door.</p><p>And indeed, both Yoshi and Gucci are pacing by the door when he gets in, making cooing, apologetic noises as he drops to his knees to pet them. Jaebeom slips in along with him, closing the door behind them. Jaebeom moves, but Jooheon doesn’t pay too much attention as he showers his babies with love.</p><p>“Hi, my sweet girls,” he coos, cupping their little whiskered faces in his palms.  “Are you hungry, babies? Did you miss Appa? Appa missed you, yes he did.”  Yoshi meows loudly and rubs the whole length of her body against his leg.</p><p>“Where do you keep your cat food?” Jaebeom’s voice floats over his head from somewhere.  Jooheon had forgotten he was still here for a second, too occupied with his fur babies.</p><p>“Cabinet under the sink,” Jooheon responds automatically, not moving. He’s glad that his drunk brain can retain such essential information, at least.  </p><p>“Do they have a special diet?”</p><p>Jooheon shakes his head as Gucci bumps her head against his hand. “No, no. Just one scoop each twice a day, isn’t that right, girls?”  </p><p>He doesn’t get an answer as they scamper off towards the kitchen, and Jooheon is left blinking at their disappearing tails, struggling to get back to his feet and almost knocking down his shoe rack in the process.</p><p>“Whoa,” he says, slumping back on the floor.  He could just sleep here, the bedroom seems so far away and is it really worth it? He's closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall when there are hands grabbing at his upper arms and pulling him up off the floor. “Nooo, 'm sleepy, lemme sleep.”</p><p>“That's where we're going,” Jaebeom says, steering him through the apartment to his bedroom.  This is not how Jooheon wanted this to happen for the first time, he thinks.</p><p>“Too faaaar…”</p><p>“Three more steps, Honey-yah, c’mon. You can do it,” Jaebeom whispers, and Jooheon finds himself doing it, until he’s sat at the edge of his bed, the room spinning around him. He reaches out, closing a fist into Jaebeom’s shirt and pulling him close. </p><p>“Jooheon-ah -”</p><p>“I like you,” Jooheon says, his voice firm, despite the alcohol. He means it, he <i>means</i> it, he wants Jaebeom to not doubt him.</p><p>“I like you too,” Jaebeom replies with a smile that makes his eyes disappear, and Jooheon sighs, shakes his head. </p><p>“No, <i>no</i>, I mean I <i>like</i> you, like I want to kiss those cute little moles  on your eyelid kind of like, like I want to smell like you kind of like,” he says, words slurring together a little as he struggles to keep his eyes open. </p><p>Jaebeom swallows hard. “I get why you write songs,” he says softly. It’s not even <i>close</i> to being Jooheon’s best work. </p><p>“I'll write you a song,” Jooheon says, pressing his face into Jaebeom's stomach. “It'll be beautiful like you.”</p><p>Jaebeom doesn't say anything in reply and Jooheon barely notices being pushed back onto the bed and the blanket being pulled over him. He blinks owlishly, suddenly feeling more awake as sudden dread and sadness floods through him. </p><p>“You don’t like me back,” he says in a broken tone, and if he was sober, he’d think he sounds just like he did when he was a teenager with a breaking voice and a huge crush on that guy from his high school’s basketball team. </p><p>“You’re drunk, Jooheonie,” Jaebeom replies. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”</p><p>“I do,” Jooheon says, tears starting to well up behind his eyelids. Weepy drunk stage: unlocked.</p><p>He hears Jaebeom sigh, the bed dipping with his weight as he sits down, warm by Jooheon's side. Jooheon doesn't dare to open his eyes to let the tears fall out and show Jaebeom what a big stupid baby he is. A big stupid baby with a big stupid crush.</p><p>“I...” Jaebeom starts but trails off with another sigh. “I don't know what I feel yet, okay?”</p><p>Oh. So Jaebeom doesn’t like him. Okay. </p><p>Okay. </p><p>“Okay,” he ends up saying, before he turns around, his back to Jaebeom. He burrows into his blankets, and closes his eyes tight, to the point it hurts, just so he stops crying like the emotional drunk he is. This night went from fun to absolutely awful, and Jooheon just wants to forget about it, now. “Thanks for taking me home. You can let yourself out.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We told you this was self-indulgent...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning is… bad. The first thing Jooheon does upon waking is piss and dry heave, not necessarily in that order, before he forces himself to order some seaweed soup from the restaurant two blocks down. That’s when he notices that he’s got five missed calls, all from Kihyun, and he winces.  </p>
<p>He can’t put this off, hungover or not. If he does, he’s going to have a pocket nag at his door, leaning on his doorbell, way too soon. So he sprawls out on his couch, wearing his underwear, a robe, and his cats draped over his chest, and calls Kihyun back. </p>
<p>“Hyung,” is all he manages to say before Kihyun is making worried hen noises down the phone at him.  “Oh my god, stop clucking, my head is killing me.” </p>
<p>“What happened? What's wrong? Why didn't you pick up earlier?” </p>
<p>Jooheon groans loudly and holds the phone away from him at arm's length for a moment. “I fell asleep, that’s all. I was wasted.” </p>
<p>“I <i>know</i> that, that’s why we were so worried! I don’t know this Jaebeom guy, what if he kidnapped you!” </p>
<p>Memories flood Jooheon’s mind. Him, in bed, crying like a fool. Jaebeom soft and gentle, but also, apparently, not into him. Despite the signals, despite the touching, the smiles, the -  </p>
<p>Jooheon lets out a strangled little noise, and Kihyun goes silent for a second, before he goes all concerned, all caring and worried. “What happened, Jooheonie?”  </p>
<p>“I was born and then I grew up and became an idiot,” Jooheon says, grumpy and hurting, not just from the alcohol.  </p>
<p>Kihyun sighs. “Come on, talk to me properly. I want to help.” </p>
<p>Jooheon knows this, but he can't help but feel like he should know how to do this on his own by now. “I couldn't keep my stupid drunk mouth shut and so now Jaebeom-hyung knows and he doesn't feel the same.” </p>
<p>Kihyun is quiet for a moment, like he’s processing what Jooheon is not saying, or having a silent conversation with Shownu on the other end of the line. Both are entirely possible.  </p>
<p>“Honey-yah, I’m so sorry. Maybe he only makes it seem that way because you were drunk? I mean, you were <i>really</i> drunk.” </p>
<p>Jooheon groans. The doorbell goes off, and he extricates himself from his cats for the time it takes to open the door and get his food, phone still by his ear.  </p>
<p>“I know. I don’t know, the cocktails were nice, I was having a good time, I wanted to not think about how sad and single I’m going to be forever... “ </p>
<p>Kihyun makes a soft sound. “Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker,” he says then, and Jooheon rolls his eyes as he unpacks his food in the kitchen. Great. Both dads here for a lecture. He puts his phone down and turns the loudspeaker on, too. </p>
<p>“Jooheon-ah,” Shownu’s voice is deeper than Kihyun’s, unmistakable. “Is this about Minhyuk-ah?” </p>
<p>“No,” is the immediate answer. Jooheon opens the lid of his soup, eyes closing at the heavenly smell. His stomach gurgles. He knows why Shownu is asking, after all. Jooheon has somehow managed to avoid seeing Minhyuk with another guy until now, and it’s not like in the past, he’s never gotten drunk over the disintegration of his relationship with Minhyuk. </p>
<p>Sure, maybe a few of the drinks he had last night were prompted by the sight of Minhyuk apparently having no issues finding a new relationship, while Jooheon... was still alone. But it wasn’t so much about <i>Minhyuk</i> than it was about Jooheon himself. “I mean, not really. I’m glad he’s moved on, honestly. But it reminded me that I haven’t managed to do the same.” </p>
<p>He spoons some soup into his mouth and, psychosomatic or not, it makes him feel better almost immediately. “I mean, I've moved on from Minhyuk-hyung, just not, like, in general.” </p>
<p>“Well, the breakup took a lot out of you,” Kihyun says, voice pitched at that gentle tone he uses when he's doing pet or kid photoshoots and is trying not to spook them. </p>
<p>He’s not wrong, though. The breakup did take a lot out of him. After all the fights and ultimately the decision to end it, watching Minhyuk move out had been just as heartbreaking. A whole era of Jooheon’s adult life reduced to memories thrown haphazardly into boxes and bags as he stood by, helpless. After that, it was all too easy to think he would only ever be capable of being alone, his bruised heart and ego hidden behind the folds of this mantle he’d wrapped around himself.   </p>
<p>Getting the cats had helped, but in reality, they’d been a band aid for a bullet wound. What he’d needed was something – some<i>one</i> - to convince him to carefully unwrap that bruised heart and be brave enough to offer it out again. He thinks he’s ready, now; he’s ready to move on from haunting his own apartment.  </p>
<p>“I think I’m past it all. I think I’m healed,” Jooheon says after slurping some more soup, letting it warm him through. Yoshi comes wandering in, jumping on his lap, and he has to keep her cute nose out of his bowl. </p>
<p>“How do you know?” Shownu asks. It irritates Jooheon that he’d ask this, considering how much time they spend together, how he’s seen Jooheon at his very, very lowest after the breakup. Jooheon is doing good, now, he’s happy enough and he’s going leaps and bounds with his career, he’s not living like a recluse anymore, and yet here he is, being questioned by his best friends. His vindictive, shitty side takes over, and he can’t help his tone for the next words that leave his mouth. </p>
<p>“I don’t know, hyung, I would have thought that the fact that I <i>actually told the guy I like that I like him</i> would be some kind of indication,” Jooheon spits, dropping his spoon into his bowl with a clatter.  “Even if I was drunk and ruined any chance I might have had.” </p>
<p>“Don't beat yourself up too much, Honey-yah,” Kihyun says. “You're not the first person to let their drunken mouth spill out secrets. At least you didn't confess to a murder or something.” </p>
<p>“Wow, way to make it dark, hyung.” Jooheon slurps up the last of his soup, his head clearing with every swallow. His irritation dissipates; he knows they are only trying to look out for him.  He feels more settled, the calming influence of his 'dads' is also part of it.  </p>
<p>“Don't be a brat, you know what I mean,” Kihyun says, Shownu sniggering in the background. “Take him some coffee and apologize and then use. Your. Words.” </p>
<p>Jooheon considers that. He considers making a gesture, apologizing to Jaebeom for coming on too strong, getting too drunk, spilling his heart out like this. But, and it’s a big but - does he have to? He puts his spoon down, frowning at his phone. That doesn’t feel fair. He’s the one who confessed and got shut down, why the hell should he be the one to apologize? </p>
<p>He feels the anger rise in his chest like a tidal wave, and he can’t stop it when it bursts through the dam of his brain-to-mouth filter; this hangover is doing a fantastic job of shortening his already quick temper. </p>
<p>“Apologize? Yeah, okay, I was the one who got drunk, but I <i>did</i> tell him that you guys could take me home, I gave him an out and he didn’t take it. He wanted to do it. And, I mean, not to be a dick about it or anything, but if he’s really not into me? Then he’s been sending me some wild mixed signals,” Jooheon states, feeling his nostrils flaring with each hard breath he takes.  </p>
<p>“And I don’t mean just last night,” he continues, feeling his anger already abating as he finally vents what’s really upsetting him about the whole thing. “I mean from the moment we met. If he wasn’t interested, then he didn’t really make it obvious. I get that my timing probably sucked, and the fact that I was drunk probably made it seem insincere, but come on...” he trails off, deflated once more   </p>
<p>Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he really is going to be forever alone. Well, forever alone, with his cats. </p>
<p>Kihyun sighs, and it’s still gentle, if a little exasperated. “So what are you gonna do?” </p>
<p>Jooheon shrugs, even though his hyungs can’t see him. He feels better already, but he knows working up a sweat and venting his frustration out further in the gym might do him a world of good. He had planned on wallowing in his own misery for most of the day, but he might end up being productive, and for that, he can thank Kihyun and Shownu.  </p>
<p>“I’m gonna hit the gym, hyung,” he says resolutely, making it clear that he’s done with the conversation. “Do box jumps until I puke.” </p>
<p>“Sounds healthy,” Kihyun says, and Jooheon chuckles, although it’s humorless.  </p>
<p>“Yeah. Thanks for the chat, hyungs. I’ll talk to you later.” </p>
<p>And he hangs up, not waiting for one of them to try and keep him on the phone longer. He’s got to get changed to jog down to the gym.  </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>“Can we try the second verse again, hyung?” </p>
<p>Jooheon nods and cues up the track. “I think it's the second line, try taking a bigger breath to start with,” he says, giving Changkyun a thumbs up when he's ready. </p>
<p>His phone keeps flashing at him from the corner of his eye but he's been ignoring it, assuming that it's just Kihyun or Wonho or any of the hyungs checking up on him for the thousandth time.  He's fine. </p>
<p>He focuses on the song, head bobbing along with the beat, with Changkyun’s smooth, deep-voiced rapping. He’s one of the solo artists that Jooheon enjoys working with the most; they get along, their music tastes work together, Changkyun respects his opinion and his work, and vice versa. It’s fun to be in the studio with him.  </p>
<p>After the take, Changkyun hums into the mic, before coming out of the recording booth. “Can we put that one in and see what it sounds like together?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, ‘course,” Jooheon replies, starting the song and leaning back in his chair. Changkyun stands by his side, leaning on his hand resting on the desk. They exchange looks, Changkyun’s lips twisting by the bridge.  </p>
<p>“This is missing something,” he mutters, just as Jooheon’s phone goes off by his pinkie. He looks down curiously, then frowns. “I thought you and Minhyuk-ssi broke up ages ago?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, why?” Jooheon doesn't look away from the screen, playing around with levels. </p>
<p>“You've got, like, ten missed calls from him,” Changkyun says, holding Jooheon's phone up.  “What did you do?” </p>
<p>It’s Jooheon’s turn to frown. He turns to look at Changkyun, then his phone. “Huh. I don’t actually know,” he replies, taking his phone. “Do you mind?” </p>
<p>Changkyun waves him off, and Jooheon dials Minhyuk’s number as he steps out of the studio, letting Changkyun take his chair. He closes the door behind himself, the hallway cold compared to the small studio, and quiet. It rings once, twice, before Minhyuk picks up.  </p>
<p>“Finally!” </p>
<p>“I'm at work! What do you want?!” </p>
<p>Minhyuk squawks in his ear in response. Jooheon holds the phone away from him with a grimace. </p>
<p>“Seriously, what do you want? I'm with Changkyunnie in the studio..” </p>
<p>His tone is softer then, less biting. Minhyuk hums.  </p>
<p>“Okay, first of all, sorry, I didn’t think you’d be in the studio this early,” Minhyuk replies, and Jooheon appreciates the apology, but he feels the resentment in the rest of the words. It’s 3pm, Jooheon’s watch informs him. “But anyway, do you want to go out, next time you’re free?” </p>
<p>“Go out?” </p>
<p>“Yeah! Kihyun-ah told me you’ve been down lately, so I thought we could do one of our ‘pamper days’, you know?” </p>
<p>Jooheon does know. And he feels warmed by the gesture, the offer of the two of them doing something they haven’t done since they were first friends, even if he’s mildly annoyed that Kihyun told <i>Minhyuk</i> anything.  </p>
<p>Also, Jooheon hasn’t been <i>down</i>. That’s slander.  </p>
<p>“First of all, Kihyun-hyung lies. Second of all, has he told you why?” </p>
<p>“No, but I thought I could pry it off you with dumplings and a full body massage.” </p>
<p>Well, that right there is Jooheon's kryptonite. </p>
<p>“You had me at dumplings,” Jooheon says, making Minhyuk cackle. </p>
<p>“Thursday? I'll make reservations at the spa for the morning, or are you still mostly nocturnal?” </p>
<p>“No, that sounds good.” Jooheon sighs softly, feeling all heavy inside. “Thanks, hyung.” </p>
<p>“Don’t thank me yet. You don’t know what you’ll end up paying for. I’ll see you Thursday, Jooheonie. Go back to work!” </p>
<p>Jooheon ends the call and goes back into the studio where Changkyun is playing around on the keyboard. </p>
<p>“That sounded good, play it again,” he says, sitting back down and putting his headphones on. </p>
<p>“What did Minhyuk-ssi want?” Changkyun plays the notes again, pausing when Jooheon loops the audio and then starting again. </p>
<p>Jooheon is nodding his head along, starting the playback of the recording they did a minute ago over the top. He almost doesn't catch the question. </p>
<p>“Huh? Oh, just to make plans to hang out. Thought it’d be an emergency with all those calls, but nope.” </p>
<p>Changkyun looks unconvinced, to the point where Jooheon has to ask. </p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>“Is he trying to get you guys back together?” </p>
<p>That startles a laugh out of Jooheon. Of all the things he can imagine Minhyuk doing, getting back with Jooheon is the last on his list. </p>
<p>“No, no way. He has a new boyfriend anyway. Some hot young thing.” </p>
<p>Changkyun's eyes light up at the prospect of gossip. “Spill.” </p>
<p>“He brought him to Jackson-ah's party. He's tall, got dimples.” Jooheon rolls his eyes at the pointed look that gets. </p>
<p>“So he has a type,” Changkyun says, obviously amused. </p>
<p>“I’m not tall,” Jooheon replies without missing a beat. “Anyway, we’re losing daylight, here, man.” </p>
<p>They’re in a windowless studio, but never mind that.  </p>
<p>“I think the song’s pretty good right now. I might tweak it a bit and send it over later? I don’t know that I want to re-record anything else.” </p>
<p>“You may not want to, Mr Hot Shot, but there's a good twelve bars in the intro that we recorded after you drank four bottles of soju that need going over, and your manager booked me until 6pm,” Jooheon says, putting his hands on Changkyun's shoulders and pushing him towards the other room. “Back in the booth.” </p>
<p>“This is just because you don't want to talk to me about your problems in love,” Changkyun says, planting his feet and attempting to resist, but Jooheon is stronger. “I'm here to help!” </p>
<p>“You're here to work, you slacker.” </p>
<p>“Hyung’s no fun,” Changkyun says with a pout, to which Jooheon is entirely immune. Excuse him, have you seen <i>his</i> pout? He <i>invented</i> pouting. Whatever Changkyun has in store in terms of pouts and puppy eyes is nothing in comparison to what Jooheon himself can pull out.  </p>
<p>“I let you rap about wanting to go down on anyone and everyone with a pulse, so actually, I think hyung is lots of fun,” Jooheon replies, giving Changkyun one last push and closing the recording booth door behind him.  </p>
<p>Changkyun grumbles into the microphone, but dutifully puts on his headphones, settling up to start working again. Jooheon gets his chair back, relief flooding in him that he doesn’t have to talk about his current love life issues - or lack thereof.  </p>
<p>“All right, from the top!” he shouts into the intercom and hits play on the track, letting Changkyun's deep voice fill his ears. </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>The first thing Minhyuk does when Jooheon meets him at the spa on Thursday morning is drag him over to the reception desk and book him in for a facial because “your pores are crying out to me, what the hell have you been doing to yourself, Jooheon-ah?!” </p>
<p>It’s fair, too, because Jooheon’s been eating too much high-sodium ramen and he’s not been getting enough sleep, tip-toeing around his apartment building, constantly worrying he’s going to bump into Jaebeom. He’s been spending more time in the studio, less time at home, despite Yoshi and Gucci’s protests - he’s had Kihyun go and spend some time with them when he ends up getting stuck working longer than planned.  </p>
<p>Admitting all this to Minhyuk, though, is… difficult. But, as they sit side by side, spa aestheticians gently exfoliating their faces, Jooheon sighs. This is why he’s here, isn’t it? Through how loud and brash he can be, Minhyuk is also a deeply caring, sensitive friend, and Jooheon trusts him with his life.  </p>
<p>“It’s… weird,” Jooheon still says. “To try to tell you about it, hyung” </p>
<p>Minhyuk doesn’t miss a beat. “What, because it’s about you wanting to get into someone else’s pants?”  </p>
<p>Jooheon grimaces and gets scolded by the lady working on his face. “You're so crass sometimes,” Jooheon mutters. “It's not just that.” </p>
<p>“Ohhh, you caught feelings,” Minhyuk says, like he's uncovered a big secret. </p>
<p>Yeah, that’s the problem. He’s caught feelings, big time, and it’s the first time he has since Minhyuk, and right now, it feels - all for nothing. Obviously, it doesn’t hurt as much as it did when he and Minhyuk broke up. But the numbness he felt afterwards isn’t all that different.  </p>
<p>“Well, it’s moot anyway, whether I did or not,” Jooheon replies, sounding younger and more fragile than he wants. Minhyuk jolts a little, his turn to get scolded, murmuring an apology as he relaxes back in his chair. </p>
<p>“Wait, he turned you down?” </p>
<p>“Why do you sound so incredulous? Hyung, do I need to remind you that you broke up with me? I can’t be that much of a catch,” Jooheon says, his vulnerable insides breaking through his words. There are things he’s very confident about, but his ability to make someone happy? Not one of them.  </p>
<p>Minhyuk makes an angry noise. Jooheon chances a look to see his fist’s clenched over the arm of the massage chair, a telltale sign that he’s displeased. Jooheon’s seen it before.  </p>
<p>“The reasons why we didn’t work out have nothing to do with who you are as a person, Jooheonie,” Minhyuk ends up saying, softly. “Our circumstances just didn’t align.” </p>
<p>“But they do with your new hot boy? I saw you two at Jackson-ah’s party.” </p>
<p>“Ah, yeah, about that -” </p>
<p>“It's fine, hyung,” Jooheon cuts him off. “I knew it would happen.” </p>
<p> “No, I just mean, I wanted to tell you before you would find out from someone else but then I was busy and anyway, stop deflecting.” </p>
<p>“I’m not,” Jooheon starts, obviously lying. Minhyuk gives him an unimpressed snort in answer, and, okay, yeah, whatever. “There’s nothing to deflect anyway. I met him, I liked him; I thought it was mutual, but then he turned me down. That’s it.” </p>
<p>He’s thankful that, at this point, the two women that were working on their faces have gone out of the room while the masks sit and work their magic, because he’d have been embarrassed to say this in front of a stranger. Hell, he’s embarrassed to say it in front of Minhyuk.  </p>
<p>“Hm. He just turned you down, point blank? A ‘no, Jooheon-ah, I have no interest in dating you’ type of turning you down?” </p>
<p>Jooheon frowns under his mask, feeling the sticky, creamy weight of it on his face. “Why does that matter?” </p>
<p>Minhyuk sighs. “It matters, because you tend to jump to conclusions.” </p>
<p>“That is slander, hyung,” Jooheon says with a gasp.  “How dare you.” </p>
<p>“Oh, so it wasn't you who called me three times in one day because you were certain your dishwasher was haunted.” </p>
<p>“You still haven't proved it <i>wasn’t</i>,” Jooheon replies, easily slipping back into their bickering. It feels so simple, with Minhyuk, but at the same time, this, right now, shows Jooheon that there is none of the undercurrent of tension he’s been feeling whenever he and Jaebeom were talking.  </p>
<p>Minhyuk snorts again, this time sounding properly amused. “Anyway. Tell me exactly what happened, so I can tell if you’re not saying something when the situation is different.” </p>
<p>Jooheon winces under the drying mask on his face. “Okay, well, I might paraphrase a bit because I was drunk,” which he knows is a bad start. “But at Jackson-ah’s party, we were flirting, and I didn’t imagine it, okay, his hands were on my thighs! And then he wanted to help me get home! Even though I told him Kihyun-hyung or Shownu-hyung could have done it. And then! Then he tucks me into bed!” </p>
<p>“Please tell me you didn't come onto him with some drunken striptease,” Minhyuk says with a groan. Jooheon slaps his arm. </p>
<p>“No!” he shouts. “Definitely not.” </p>
<p>“Okay, so what happened next? You propositioned him?” </p>
<p>“I just –” Jooheon cuts his words off with a sigh, feeling more than a little fed up with his hyungs not taking him seriously. “I just told him that he smells good and said I like him. That’s it.  No proposition, no inappropriate comment about his dick, just a simple confession.” </p>
<p>Minhyuk, surprisingly, doesn’t start laughing, which is what Jooheon expected him to do. No, instead, Minhyuk just looks considering, which is mildly comical considering the goop all over his face. If it brings back images in Jooheon’s head - images he definitely does not want to think about - he doesn’t think he can be blamed for it.  </p>
<p>“And he said he doesn’t like you back?”   </p>
<p>“He said - he said he doesn’t know how he feels.” </p>
<p>There, Minhyuk’s eyes get colder, slightly angrier.  </p>
<p>“See, this is what I mean by you jumping to conclusions!” he says hotly, this time being the one to reach out and punch Jooheon’s arm, who is only saved from more abuse by their aestheticians walking back into the room and making them settle. Still, Minhyuk isn’t done. “He didn’t say he doesn’t like you!” </p>
<p>“It was pretty heavily fucking implied, hyung!” Jooheon feels the anger overtaking the empty feeling again, making him clench his fingers in the arm rest of the chair. “He didn't feel the need to stay and clarify.” </p>
<p>“Let me guess - you told him to leave and he respected that because you were drunk and emotional and he'd already put you to bed,” Minhyuk says, counting off on his fingers like this is a standard program of events. </p>
<p>Jooheon doesn’t reply for a moment, long enough that Minhyuk lets out a little noise of triumph. “Knew it,” he says, and Jooheon flips him off, hurriedly apologizing to the lady moving cotton pads over his face. </p>
<p>“You’re rude,” he tells Minhyuk, feeling like pouting. They’ve always been like this – bickering, pushing each other’s limits until they burst into angry words, or laughter. Right now, it’s easier to slip back into this habit of playing around with Minhyuk, to try and keep himself, and his feelings, from being poked and prodded at too deeply.  </p>
<p>Thankfully, their conversation is cut short by the aestheticians telling them they’re done, Jooheon truly feeling refreshed, and like his skin has de-aged ten years.  </p>
<p>He hopes Minhyuk will drop it by the time they get themselves in the sauna, but sadly, he was mistaken. So here he is, sweating in a wooden box in a towel with Minhyuk at his most perceptive. Great.  </p>
<p>“Wait, where were we? Oh, yeah! When you told me that you told the guy you like to leave because you got drunk and upset over something you may be misinterpreting.”  </p>
<p>“Hyung,” Jooheon whines, dragging the word out. “The sauna is supposed to be a safe place of healing.” </p>
<p>“So? Heal yourself by getting all the idiot out of you,” Minhyuk says, leaning forward to toss some water on the stove in the corner. </p>
<p>He focuses his eyes on the whale tattoo on Minhyuk's knee, pursing his lips as he thinks back on that night, on the way he turned his back on Jaebeom. He couldn’t have expected him to stay, and yet, he’d hoped he would.. “I told him he <i>could</i> let himself out, not that he had to. And he left. So.” </p>
<p>“So? Did you want him to stay, even though you literally closed yourself off to him? Honey-yah, I love you, but c’mon.”  </p>
<p>Jooheon doesn’t reply, eyes on his hands, playing with the hem of his towel. He’s not an idiot, and he gets what Minhyuk is getting at, but he doesn’t really want to face it just yet.  </p>
<p>“What have you got to lose in talking to him? Sober?” </p>
<p>Stubbornly, Jooheon shrugs. Minhyuk sighs, before tipping his head back against the wooden wall, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead as he looks at the low ceiling.  </p>
<p>“When I first met Jaehyun-ah, I was dead set on doing absolutely nothing, even though we clicked right away. I was so scared, Jooheon-ah. So I get it, okay? I get being terrified of getting hurt again. But you can’t keep going like this, can you? Sleeping on the sofa in your studio and letting Wonho-hyung and Kihyunie feed you?” </p>
<p>“I hate that you know me so well,” Jooheon says after a few moments of silence. He means it, too. But Jooheon also knows himself and he knows that he has to speak to Jaebeom – he's known the whole time, really. Maybe in avoiding Jaebeom so completely he’s not being very fair. </p>
<p>“Anyway, all I’m saying is that you should talk to him again,” Minhyuk continues, fixing Jooheon with a look that says, ‘I dare you to disobey me’. “And if he’s still not interested, or unsure, that’s fair. But maybe he’ll be willing to tell you why. Because I saw you two at the party and I’ve got to say, I think he’s into you.” </p>
<p>Jooheon’s stomach drops. “Not sure that helps, hyung.” </p>
<p>“You know me, honest to a fault,” Minhyuk says, somewhat ruefully. It seems strange to think of honesty contributing to the failing of a relationship rather than deceit, but Minhyuk’s brand of blunt, unwavering candor had, in the end, done more harm than good. There had been times when Jooheon had been desperate for Minhyuk to lie to him, to obscure the truth with something a little softer, grey the edges of the harsh black and white world, just for him. </p>
<p>Jooheon exhales, loud in the quiet between them. He wants to believe it, that Jaebeom likes him, but that feels dangerous.   </p>
<p>He bites his lip, cutting a look at Minhyuk. “You’re happy?” he asks, needing the spotlight to shift and give him a chance to breathe. </p>
<p>Minhyuk nods, a small smile appearing on his face.  “Yeah.” </p>
<p>“How did you guys meet?” </p>
<p>“You really want to know?” </p>
<p>“I'm curious, yeah,” Jooheon says, pushing his hair back from his forehead, slick with sweat now. He feels - better, though. Somewhat. He has a lot to think about, but talking about this with Minhyuk actually helped, and Jooheon sees things clearer now.  </p>
<p>“We met at school,” Minhyuk says, which makes Jooheon’s brain grind to a halt.  </p>
<p>“What? You graduated years ago.” </p>
<p>Minhyuk shrugs, the smile on his lips not going anywhere. “After we broke up, I thought I needed to do more things for myself, so I started taking evening art classes. Jaehyun-ah was in a dance class in the same building, and we literally bumped into each other. He wasn’t looking where he was going.” </p>
<p>Jooheon finds himself smiling fondly. It’s Minhyuk and it’s sort of strange but, at the same time, it’s comfortable, and easy, and Jooheon releases the peal of laughter he’d been trying to hold in.  </p>
<p>“I can’t believe you got a meet-cute,” he says, still giggling to himself.  </p>
<p>Minhyuk elbows him, the sensation unpleasant, more because of the sweat than the contact. “How did you meet that guy you like?” </p>
<p>Jooheon scratches the back of his neck, wishing he hadn't said anything about meet-cutes because now that he thinks about it, his hot neighbor’s cat turning up in his apartment is up there in terms of cute.  “Well, he's got a cat, and she snuck into my apartment. And then Gucci did the same to him.” </p>
<p>“Shut up,” Minhyuk says, elbowing him again. “You're lying to me.” </p>
<p>Jooheon can feel himself blushing. “I’m not. I came home from an all-nighter at the studio,” Minhyuk snorts at that, not entirely kind. “And when I walk in there she is on the counter. And not ten minutes later he’s leaning on the doorbell and asking if I’ve seen his cat.”  </p>
<p>Minhyuk is looking at him with his eyes wide, his mouth open in an incredulous look. “And you’re mocking <i>me</i> for meet-cutes! Excuse the fuck out of you!” </p>
<p>“It gets worse,” Jooheon murmurs, and Minhyuk bursts out laughing.  </p>
<p>“Hard to believe but do go on. I’m going to write a romance novel and use this one day.” </p>
<p>“Hey! Use your own meet-cute story!” </p>
<p>Minhyuk cackles and ducks out of the way as Jooheon raises his hand to slap him. “Come on, what other ridiculous happenings went on.” </p>
<p>Jooheon gives him the rundown of cat related shenanigans, not skipping over that time he was half naked, or Wonho’s innuendos. Throughout, Minhyuk's laughter gets louder, but it quiets down as Jooheon finishes recounting. He’s obviously thinking about it all. </p>
<p>“So, from what I’ve seen at Jackson-ah’s, and what you’ve just told me, I think if he’s not into you, he’s one hell of an actor. So maybe there’s something else that made him hesitate. Even more reason to talk to him.” </p>
<p>Jooheon hums, back to looking at his hands. He’s never been bad at communication, always in touch with himself, with his own feelings, and able to talk about them, but there’s something here, something still sore in his heart, because no matter how much communication they did, neither he nor Minhyuk could save their relationship.  </p>
<p>But look at them now. Maybe they salvaged what they could out of it.  </p>
<p>“I’m just…” Jooheon trails off.  He knows exactly what he is, but saying it out loud is one thing, and saying it out loud to Minhyuk is another thing altogether.  He takes a deep breath and stops playing with the loose thread on the towel in his lap.  “I’m scared, Minhyukie-hyung.  I’m so scared and – and I don’t know what I’m more scared of: being rejected, or being told that yes, he does like me too. It’s - it’s been a while.” </p>
<p>“I know,” Minhyuk says, a soft look on his face. “You'll be all right though.” </p>
<p>Jooheon blows out a long breath and closes his eyes, leaning his head back and letting the sauna do its job, letting the tension drip out of him along with his sweat. “Now, can we get back to the serious business at hand? Where is hyung taking me for dumplings?” </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>After his day out with Minhyuk, Jooheon doesn’t so actively avoid Jaebeom as he did before. He doesn’t avoid using the elevator in the building, doesn’t wait until the cover of darkness to take out his trash, lets his front door bang shut instead of trying to close it silently, but he still doesn’t see Jaebeom, so maybe - maybe Jaebeom is avoiding him, too? Wait, no. He shouldn’t go down that trail of thoughts, Jooheon jumping to conclusions again, because that’s what got him in this whole situation to start with. Thing is, Jooheon does want to talk to Jaebeom, he’s constantly thinking of the words to say, turning them over and over in his head, but he also doesn’t want to just barge into his apartment; it feels wrong. And of course, this whole time, Nora doesn’t appear in Jooheon’s apartment, either, like she’s trying to teach him a lesson. </p>
<p>He takes up jogging more. It helps him clear his head, focus his thoughts. He ends up having conversations with himself as he runs along the banks of the Han, his workout playlist blasting in his ears as he considers things, taking his time with them. It’s just - he feels like he’s earned some of his feelings, that Jaebeom’s reaction to Jooheon’s ‘declaration’ was hurtful, but. He can’t tell now, if there’s no reason behind it that isn’t just that Jaebeom isn’t into him. He can’t tell if there’s no chance of <i>more</i>, because he hasn’t given it the opportunity.  </p>
<p>Running helps. Feet hit the pavement rhythmically, the weather nice enough for shorts and a tank top now, even if Jooheon, being Jooheon, still also wears a beanie. It’s a nice day for running and forget about everything else.  </p>
<p>Which is probably why he spots Jaebeom. </p>
<p>He's chasing after a small white dog who's busy running away from him, lead trailing behind it.  Jooheon stops and jogs on the spot for a second, wondering if he should help somehow, but then the dog does a 180 degree turn and runs back into Jaebeom's waiting arms. </p>
<p>Jooheon slips one of his airpods out as Jaebeom cries out “Coco-yah, you naughty girl!” </p>
<p>There’s someone cackling behind him, too, someone that Jooheon doesn’t know, walking up towards Jaebeom. But then he straightens up, dog in his arms, and his eyes meet Jooheon’s, the two of them freezing up. Jooheon’s stomach drops to his feet, while his heart leaps in his throat as he stands there, looking at Jaebeom straight on, taking stock of everything that feels different about him, even though it’s only been a few weeks. His hair seems longer, his shoulders broader. He looks good, cozy and comfy, with that tiny dog licking at his chin, and Jooheon finds himself wanting to run to him, tell him how much of a drunken idiot he was. </p>
<p>Jaebeom’s the first to shake himself out of being frozen in place, licking his lips before he says, softly, “Honey-yah.” </p>
<p>It zings through Jooheon like lightning, sharp and hot. “Hi, hyung,” he replies just as soft. “I, uh. It’s good to see you,” he ends up managing to say, feeling shaken by the look in Jaebeom’s eyes, all warm.  </p>
<p>“It’s good to see you, too. It’s been a little while.” </p>
<p>Jooheon nods. “And about that, I think we should - talk. I mean, I’d like if we could talk. When you’re not busy,” he adds, gesturing to the cute dog in his arms, who’s panting while looking at Jooheon with her curious tiny eyes.  </p>
<p>“Yeah, I think that would be good,” Jaebeom says, kicking at the ankle of the other guy who coughs and takes the dog from Jaebeom's arms. </p>
<p>“Oh my, is that the time? Come along Coco-yah, we must be going,” he says in an overly loud voice, eyes rolling in Jaebeom's direction. </p>
<p>Jooheon opens his mouth, closes it. Opens it again. “I don’t mean to -” </p>
<p>With a quick shake of his head, Jaebeom interrupts. “No, it’s okay! Youngjae-yah was just saying that Coco-yah probably had more than enough anyway, and they live the other way. It’s - fine,” he says, and his tone implies some sort of urgency, like he’s worried Jooheon’s going to make him turn around and back to his friend. “We can walk home together?” </p>
<p>Jooheon nods, smiling a little shyly, but inwardly he’s so incredibly pleased that Jaebeom apparently wants to spend time with him. It’s not that he thought Jaebeom would never ever want to see him again, but it still makes him feel a little giddy inside to be here with him.  </p>
<p>They fall into step with each other, Jooheon’s heart thundering in his chest. He knows what he wants to say, and he’s not scared about it, but as usual, Jaebeom makes him nervous. An ‘I have a crush on you’ kind of nervous because he might have been turned down, but that doesn’t mean he’s over it just yet.   </p>
<p>“I owe you an apology,” he says before Jaebeom has time to say anything, because if he doesn’t get it out, he’s never going to have the nerve. “I should've come and talked to you the day after, when I was sober.” </p>
<p>“I need to apologize too,” Jaebeom says, chewing on the edge of his thumbnail. “What I said that night... it came out the wrong way, but I didn't know how to fix it.” </p>
<p>Jooheon wants to ask what Jaebeom actually wanted to say, but he knows he has to make his own apology first and not use Jaebeom’s as a delaying tactic, despite the temptation.  </p>
<p>“I was - I got upset, and I jumped to conclusions. But mainly I was drunk and I should never have just left it at that. You didn’t deserve that, it was shitty. And I’m sorry I came on so strong that night. I hope we can still -” </p>
<p>“Do you still like me?” Jaebeom interrupts, voice cutting clean through all of Jooheon’s thoughts. There’s no trying to deny what kind of <i>like</i> he means, not when Jooheon spent so much time explaining what kind of like he meant last time they talked. Jooheon trips on the pavement in surprise, stumbling forward a step but righting himself quickly, feeling his cheeks heat up as he looks at Jaebeom. </p>
<p>Of course he still likes Jaebeom – how could he not like Jaebeom? Everything about him keeps on making Jooheon want to know more, from his love and care for cats to how easily he fit in with his friends, and the way he so selflessly took care of Jooheon, despite how embarrassing he was. </p>
<p>He still likes Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Um, yeah,” he says, blinking at Jaebeom. “I like you, hyung.” </p>
<p>“I like you, too, Jooheon-ah,” Jaebeom says eyes fixed on Jooheon's. “I should have said that from the beginning.” </p>
<p>Jooheon swallows hard, feeling heat rise up to his cheeks, his heart picking up speed. He didn’t know what he expected, to be quite honest, but this was definitely not it. “Oh,” he says softly. He’s not often rendered speechless, Jaebeom should feel proud of that. </p>
<p>There’s something blooming in his chest. Something hopeful and bright and warm, something that makes him smile. Something that makes him want to start giggling helplessly, something that makes him feel younger than he is. It feels good.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles a little, but he still looks like he’s thinking hard, a little frown creasing his brows. So Jooheon inhales, shakes off the teenage giddy feeling. “You look like you have more to say, though,” he asks softly, trying not to sound worried.  </p>
<p>“But I think I need time. I want to - try? If you’d like to?” </p>
<p>They’re right by their officetel at that point, and so Jooheon stops in the mostly empty street, turning fully to look up at Jaebeom. He’s a little hesitant when he reaches out, but he doesn’t back down, curling two fingers into the sleeve of Jaebeom’s long-sleeved shirt, eyes tracking down to look at his own hand. It looks pale against the garish orange of Jaebeom’s clothing, and it makes him smile a little.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom makes an aborted noise, like he’s about to say something, but instead he takes a step closer, diminishing the space between them.  </p>
<p>“I’d like that,” Jooheon finally says, because he realizes he’s been quiet for too long, and then he chuckles, looking back up into Jaebeom’s eyes. “I’d like that very much.” </p>
<p>They share a smile, then, Jaebeom’s whole body relaxing, the two of them chuckling together. Jooheon thinks maybe, Jaebeom’s about to go for a hug, but he stops the movement and coughs. </p>
<p>“Jooheon-ah,” Jaebeom says, sounding suddenly serious again. “Can we – I’d like for us to go slow.” There’s probably something he isn’t saying, here, but Jooheon understands. He doesn’t exactly want to rush headfirst into something that ends up hurting him, anyway.  </p>
<p>“Yeah, we can do that,” Jooheon says, finally letting go of Jaebeom’s sleeve at the same time as he notices just how cold he is, himself, goosebumps on his exposed skin, and he feels still sweaty and tacky and sort of gross.  “I need to go inside before I die of hypothermia, but would you - maybe, would you like to come see me perform? On Saturday?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom’s face lights up and Jooheon’s heart flip flops at the sudden shift in his expression and the knowledge that Jooheon is the cause of it. “Oh! Oh, yeah, I’d like that a lot.” </p>
<p>Jooheon beams, letting his dimples pop out when he grins at Jaebeom. “Cool. Cool! It’s old school, no Facebook invites, I’ll slip in a flyer in your letterbox,” he says, pointing at the wall of them by their side as they enter the building.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom nods, looking for all he’s worth like he wants to say a lot more, but doesn’t know how to say it. “Okay. Then I’ll see you on Saturday. If not before? </p>
<p>His heart feeling lighter than it has in a while, Jooheon nods. “Saturday, if not before.”  He doesn’t really know how to say goodbye, so he just gestures to the stairs. “I’m gonna - run up. One last exercise for the day.” </p>
<p>He heads through the door to the stairwell before he doesn’t move at all, leaving Jaebeom with one hand raised in a wave. His heart pounds in time with his feet all the way up to his apartment, only one thought on his mind. </p>
<p><i>“I like you, too, Jooheon-ah.”</i> </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>Jooheon decided long ago that on k-drama nights it was just easier to move the coffee table and pull out the sofa bed so that optimum Shownu cuddling can be achieved. He's in the middle of spreading out the extra pillows and cushions when his phone pings with a message. He dumps the remaining bedding in a heap and grabs his phone from the ledge behind him, unable to stop himself grinning when he sees it's from Jaebeom. Jooheon had written his phone number on the back of the flyer for his show and that had broken the dam; they'd been texting practically non-stop ever since.</p>
<p><i>[1 new picture message]</i> </p>
<p>Jooheon opens it and laughs at the sight of Jaebeom and Nora with their faces squished together. </p>
<p><b>me</b>: <i>very cute!</i>  </p>
<p>He falls onto his back on the sofa bed, phone held over his face like a teenager again. He's still lying there when the doorbell goes off, announcing the arrival of the Smug Marrieds. </p>
<p>It’s really just to tell him they’re here, because he’s halfway to the door that they’re already walking in, stepping out of their shoes and putting them neatly off to the side. Jooheon would roll his eyes, if he wasn’t so used to it, so instead he walks over, and gets his hugs.  </p>
<p>“Have you decided what you want for dinner?” Jooheon asks, grinning as Shownu releases him from his hold.  </p>
<p>“You look decidedly better than you did the last time we saw you,” Kihyun remarks immediately, always observant, never willing to drop anything. That’s why he and Minhyuk are always fighting.  </p>
<p>“Yes, it’s nice to see you too, hyung. I’m doing well, thanks for asking!”  </p>
<p>His phone pings again, and Jooheon flushes at the pointed look he gets in answer. Shownu has already walked further into the apartment, making little <i>pspsps</i> noises to try and get the cats to come out of hiding.  </p>
<p>“Did you talk to Jaebeom-ssi? And you didn’t tell us?”  Kihyun asks without missing a beat. </p>
<p>“It's actually none of your business, hyung,” Jooheon says, gripping his phone tighter in his hand as Kihyun's beady eyes narrow in on it. </p>
<p>“Excuse me, you volunteered the information when you called us to whine about it, therefore I have a vested interest in finding out how things are now!” Kihyun says, throwing his hands in the air and turning towards the kitchen. “I'm drinking your beer!” </p>
<p>“Yes, please, Kiki,” Shownu says, as though Kihyun had asked him a question. He’s found Yoshi, but she’s only sitting on the back of the couch and looking at him, and Shownu is apparently not daring to reach out and pull her closer. Jooheon walks over, easily scooping her up as she gives him a little meow, and he deposits her gently on Shownu’s lap, who runs a cautious finger between her ears.  </p>
<p>Kihyun comes back with three beers, and they settle on the pull-out couch, Shownu in the middle, Yoshi curled on his lap, Kihyun leaning one side, and Jooheon draped heavily on the other. They bicker for a minute longer about food settling on chicken that Jooheon orders, and then they get comfortable to watch the latest few episodes of <i>Hotel Del Luna</i>, which he saves up for days like these, when he gets to watch them with Shownu - and Kihyun when he invites himself along. </p>
<p>“Maybe next time you can have <i>your</i> boyfriend over instead of hogging mine,” Kihyun says with a little huff. Shownu makes a placating noise, and Jooheon snarls.  </p>
<p>“One, he’s not my boyfriend, two, you know k-drama night is privileged Shownu-hyung-and-Jooheonie cuddling time and you didn’t actually have to come, and three, shh, no talking during IU-noona’s show.” Jooheon pouts and wraps his arms tighter around Shownu's waist.   </p>
<p>Shownu doesn't say anything at first, just leans over and kisses Kihyun on the mouth, then kisses Jooheon on the forehead. “I love you both, now be quiet.” </p>
<p>The little huff that escapes Kihyun is fond, and he gets even more comfortable when Gucci finally emerges from the depths of Jooheon’s bedroom to come cuddle with him. They all fall into the show, only pausing to get the food when it arrives, Jooheon practically purring with contentment.  </p>
<p>He’s tried to explain it before, how Shownu’s constantly calm demeanor, his way to speak, break thoughts down to their smallest parts to make sense of them – for himself and others – bring Jooheon a sense of comfort like very few things can. There’s safety in Shownu, too; Jooheon’s always felt like Shownu would protect him from anything, physically and emotionally, and he’s yet to be proven wrong. Shownu is his best friend, a father figure to him despite the fact that they’re only just a few years apart.  </p>
<p>They eat and they catch up on their drama and Jooheon, usually, would be completely enthralled, but tonight he’s distracted. His phone keeps on vibrating in his pocket, and he can’t bear to wait to read the texts, replying immediately.  </p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>nora just tried to steal an entire salmon off the counter, lol</i> </p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>why do you have an entire salmon? </i></p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>to cook it? </i> </p>
<p><b>me:</b><i> wait you can cook?</i>  </p>
<p>“Honey-yah,” Shownu says softly, making Jooheon’s head snap up, blinking in confusion. Shownu chuckles. “Wow, I’ve never met anyone who could distract you from <i>Hotel Del Luna</i>. The episode’s finished.” </p>
<p>“Huh?” Jooheon says, looking from Shownu to the TV and back again.  “What? Already?” </p>
<p>Shownu nods. He runs his hand over Jooheon's hair, gentle and caring, and gives him a scrunched-nose smile. “You want me to start the episode over again?” </p>
<p>Kihyun groans at that, poking Shownu in the chest. “We'll end up sleeping here again if you do that and then you'll complain that you've fallen asleep in your contacts and I didn't bring your glasses.” </p>
<p>Jooheon makes a tiny noise. “No, it’s okay, hyung. I, um. Sorry.” </p>
<p>Shownu just grins, pulling both he and Kihyun closer, his face all content and pleased, looking a little like a happy seal. “You don’t have to apologize, Jooheonie. Kihyun-ah was right, you know. You look much better. Happier. And I’m glad for that.” </p>
<p>“Hm,” Jooheon replies, and Shownu shoulders him gently. </p>
<p>“Did something happen?” </p>
<p>“We just. We talked it out. Apologized. And maybe we’re trying… something.” </p>
<p>“Something?” Kihyun asks, suspiciously.  </p>
<p>Jooheon shrugs, drawing circles with his fingertip on Shownu's forearm, making mindless patterns in the fuzz of his sweater. “Yeah, I don't know, we're just seeing what happens. Texting a lot, as you can see.” </p>
<p>“Going to go on a date?” </p>
<p>“I invited him to the show coming up,” Jooheon says, a little wary that Kihyun is going to start plotting something. </p>
<p>“Mm. That doesn’t really count as a date.” </p>
<p>“Okay?” Jooheon shrugs. He doesn’t really care if it counts or not in Kihyun’s eyes, all he wants is to get to spend time with Jaebeom. “We both have baggage. We don’t all get to meet when we’re 18-year-old virgins with a bright outlook on love like you guys did, hyung.” </p>
<p>His phone pings again.  </p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>maybe you should let me cook for you some time ahah</i> </p>
<p>Jooheon flushes, because to him, that sounds more suggestive than pretty much anything they’ve ever said to each other before, but also, he’s in a three-way-cuddle-pile with his hyungs, and maybe it’s awkward to answer if Jaebeom’s actually inviting him to come over for ramen or what.  </p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>Id like that</i> </p>
<p>He sends back before he starts overthinking it, putting his phone face down on the cushion next to him after it's gone.   </p>
<p>“I wasn't a virgin,” Shownu says, twenty seconds behind the conversation as he tends to be when he's tired. </p>
<p>“What?” Kihyun asks, sounding and looking a little bewildered. </p>
<p>“When we met,” Shownu says to Kihyun.  “Just saying.” </p>
<p>Kihyun’s about to reply, his mouth opening, so Jooheon jumps in, jolting up to interrupt. “Yeah, okay, whatever, my point still stands, please don’t say anything that could scar me for life.”  </p>
<p>Shownu laughs, and Kihyun joins in after a second. They lean into each other a little, and Jooheon watches, feeling, not for the first time, that this? This is what he craves. This is what he thought he’d have with Minhyuk, and this is what he’s not had for so long.  </p>
<p>He deserves something like this. He deserves someone to love, and that would love him, the way Shownu and Kihyun love each other.  </p>
<p>“I’m happy that you’re happy, you know.” Kihyun says a moment later, making Jooheon flush a little more.  </p>
<p>“Thanks, hyung,” he says, hiding his chin in his collar.  “Can you stop being such an embarrassing dad about it now though?” </p>
<p>Kihyun sucks a breath in through his teeth and shakes his head.  “If you're a good boy, maybe.” </p>
<p>Jooheon rolls his eyes and gets up, heading to the kitchen. “You guys want more beer or are you going home to gaze into each other's eyes in the missionary position?” </p>
<p>“Lee Jooheon!” Kihyun replies, scandalized. Shownu just bursts out laughing again, murmuring something that, thankfully, Jooheon is too far away to hear. There’s more low volume talking for a minute as Jooheon takes care of their trash, and then Kihyun pipes up again. “I think we’re going to head off.” </p>
<p>Jooheon walks out of the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his ankles. “Okay,” he says, sending a smirk to a blushing Kihyun. He directs his next question at Shownu while Kihyun busies himself making sure he’s got all of their belongings. “You’re coming to the show on Saturday, right?”  </p>
<p>Shownu nods, as he shifts to stands, stretching his arms up to the ceiling. “Wouldn’t miss it.” </p>
<p>“And you’ll leave Jaebeom-hyung alone if you see him there, right?” he asks and now it’s  Kihyun who smirks.  </p>
<p>“We’ll see about that.”  </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>Jooheon is buzzing before he gets anywhere near the stage, jumping up and down and bumping fists with Changkyun who's going to join him for a few songs, which will no doubt get the crowd even more hyped. </p>
<p>Hyungwon is out there already spinning a set, and Jooheon is so ready for his turn. It’s always the same thing - this isn’t his day job, this isn’t what he does most, but the thrill, the adrenaline of it is truly like none other. He loves being on stage, even a stage as small as this one, and feed off the energy of the crowd. It gets him on a high that takes days to wear off.  </p>
<p>There’s also the knowledge that Jaebeom is here, somewhere in the crowd. Jooheon hasn’t seen him yet, but he got a text earlier, so he knows, and instead of making him nervous, it makes him even more excited.  </p>
<p>When Hyungwon waves at him from the stage, Jooheon steps out, the lights turned off as Hyungwon starts off the song that they’ve worked on together. He goes down on one knee in the middle of the stage and waits for his verse to start, Hyungwon’s EDM pulsing all around him. One stage light comes on, shining down straight on Jooheon as he starts rapping, standing up slowly and letting the roar of the crowd wash over him. He’s in an all-white outfit today, loose t-shirt that’s already sticking to his back with sweat, and jeans, the statement accent to set the whole thing off is his blue hair - courtesy of a spray-ion color that Wonho helped him with earlier.  </p>
<p>He feels great. He’s ready to have one hell of a time.  </p>
<p>Three songs in and he's got sweat in his eyes and the blue hair dye is running down his face, but he feels fantastic.  He shakes out his limbs as the intro to one of his older songs starts up, nodding his head to the beat as he crouches near the front of the stage to start rapping. </p>
<p>He's into the chorus when he sees a flash of jewelry and a familiar dark head moving through the crowd to come close to the stage. Jooheon grins widely when Jaebeom's eyes meet his and jumps up to his feet, getting the crowd to sing the words back to him. </p>
<p>When the song ends, Jooheon lets out a whoop and grabs the towel Hyungwon tosses over to him to wipe his face and neck. “Let's slow it down a little, yeah?” he says, breathing into the mic heavily, moving his hips from side to side.  “Yo, I.M.!” </p>
<p>The crowd screams. </p>
<p>“I said, yo I.M.!” Jooheon calls out again, looking to the side of the stage where Changkyun is waiting, grinning back at him.  “You ready to get down with these guys?” </p>
<p>The beat for <i>Horizon</i>, one of Changkyun’s songs, starts playing. The lights turn purple and dim a little as Changkyun strides onto the stage, and Jooheon takes a moment to catch his breath as Changkyun takes the first verse, the mood sultrier now, the song unapologetically sexy. Changkyun prowls the stage like he’s born to be on it, and Jooheon runs a hand through his hair, leaving a blueish, sweaty handprint on the bottom of his shirt when he wipes it.  </p>
<p>He moves forward again, taking the second verse, less rapping and more singing this time, scanning the crowd, finding his friends at the bar, and finding Jaebeom again, this time front row, dead center. He looks a little shell-shocked, but also like he doesn’t want to miss a second of the show, which makes heat and pride curl in Jooheon’s stomach as he steps back again to let Changkyun finish up the song.  </p>
<p>For the duration of this one song, the mood shifts entirely, but as soon as they’re done, the lights turn a deep red, and the two of them jump into a much more energetic song that they wrote together ages ago and Jooheon had played the drums for the recording himself. <i>Sambakja</i> is angry and pushes Jooheon hard, veins protruding in his neck as he raps fast and unyielding, but it makes him feel light-headed and so excited when he’s done. Plus, being with Changkyun on stage is always a treat, they feed off of each other and trade lines like they’ve been doing it for years and it’s that energy that makes Jooheon believe that in another universe they do just that. </p>
<p>At the end of the song, Jooheon turns to the audience, finding Jaebeom immediately again, their eyes meeting. There’s something dark and unmistakable in Jaebeom’s eyes, something Jooheon recognizes all too easily. It’s want, and it’s written all over Jaebeom’s face, and it makes Jooheon’s stomach drop in the most pleasant, tingly way. He swipes his thumb across his lips in the mindless way he tends to before he turns back to Changkyun as the first notes of Changkyun’s song <i>Fallin’</i> start playing.  </p>
<p>It’s a fun song, one that leads them to dance stupidly with each other, using meme dances and repeating the chorus five times. Even Hyungwon joins them for a bit of dancing at some point, the three of them laughing together over the beat. It’s fun, and the crowd is cheery, dancing along with them through the extended song.  </p>
<p>Changkyun bids the crowd goodnight then, and Jooheon switches the mood again, singing <i>Red Carpet</i>, from the mixtape that Jooheon entirely put together by himself, and then decided to never release.  </p>
<p>“So, guys, we’ve reached the end of my set,” he says into the microphone after the song is over, grinning as the crowd boos. He grabs the mic stand from the side, slotting his microphone in as he stands in front of the audience, Jaebeom right there in front of him. “And I’ve never done this before, but I thought maybe tonight, you’d let me sing you a bit of a ballad to finish things off?” </p>
<p>There's a ripple of “ooh”s from the crowd and Jooheon grins, nodding.  “It's in English, but I hope you still get the meaning of it.” </p>
<p>The intro is short and Jooheon is glad that he doesn't have too long to wait before he chickens out of actually <i>singing</i>. </p>
<p>“<i>Maybe this is crazy,<br/>
Crazy just to wonder<br/>
Wonder if there's someone<br/>
Meant for you</i>” </p>
<p>He keeps his eyes closed, feeling shy at first.  He knows his singing voice is different to the way he sounds when he raps. It's light and delicate, but then so is the song, so it fits. </p>
<p>As he sings, it’s like he can feel Jaebeom’s eyes on him, burning like a hot brand. Jooheon is already flushed under the stage lights, but he imagines he’s getting redder in the face with the feeling. He keeps singing, though, putting in all the emotions he felt when he was avoiding Jaebeom and writing this song, something helplessly hopeful and bittersweet in the lyrics. </p>
<p>“<i>Sick of being perfect<br/>
Perfect with no reasons<br/>
Reasons are for people<br/>
You're meant to lose</i>” </p>
<p>He opens his eyes after the chorus, and sure enough, here Jaebeom is, staring at him. Of course, so is the rest of the crowd, but Jooheon only looks back at Jaebeom, at the way his eyes shine in the dimness, the way the piercing he recently got high up on his cheekbone catches the light. His lips are parted, and Jooheon finds himself wanting to crawl towards the end of the stage to kiss him, a primal urge that makes him visibly shiver as his voice trembles a little on his words. </p>
<p>The stage lights go down as the song ends and Jooheon doesn't hang around on stage because there's another act coming on soon. He waves at the crowd through the darkness and heads to the tiny backstage area where he's left a change of shirt and Wonho is waiting with a bottle of water for him. </p>
<p>“Sounded great, Honey-yah,” Wonho says, beaming at him as he comes through the door. “You need to write me a translation of the last one though.” </p>
<p>Jooheon gives him a sweaty hug. “Of course, hyung.” </p>
<p>“It’s new, isn’t it? Sounded beautiful.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, I wrote it a few weeks ago,” Jooheon says, voice going muffled as he takes off his shirt, grabbing a towel for his sweaty skin and hair. It comes off with a blue tint.  </p>
<p>“Hey, Honey-yah! Someone’s asking if he can come through to see you, is that okay?” One of the bar staff asks, poking his head in. “Says his name is Jaebeom, you know him?” </p>
<p>Wonho cuts Jooheon a look, a smirk playing on his lips, but Jooheon doesn’t really pay attention, too focused on the way his stomach swoops all over again.  </p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s cool, let him through. He’s a friend,” Wonho replies for Jooheon, then gestures at him. “If I were you, I’d consider not putting on a shirt. I’ll go find Hyungwon-ah.” </p>
<p>Jooheon snaps the towel at Wonho's backside as he laughs and scurries away out of the room.<br/>
Jooheon finishes freshening himself up, putting on deodorant and a clean shirt before Jaebeom shows up only moments later as he’s taking a drink from the bottle of water Wonho gave him.  </p>
<p>When their eyes meet, it’s like electricity crackles in the air; Jooheon takes a breath, eyes dropping to scan Jaebeom from head to toe. He’s dressed pretty much in the same way that Jooheon is himself, jeans and a t-shirt, but his jeans have a lot more rips in them and his t-shirt is much baggier, leaving obvious space between the fabric and his skin – space that Jooheon immediately thinks about bridging with his fingers.  </p>
<p>“Hey,” Jaebeom says, and swallows visibly. “I hope it’s okay I’m here, I just wanted to – to see you.” </p>
<p>Jooheon has never replied to anything faster in his life. “Yeah, yeah, of course it’s okay.” </p>
<p>The heat from earlier is still there in the way Jaebeom looks at him, and Jooheon's feet take him a step closer, and another. It feels like an absolute inevitability, the two of them moving towards each other’ like magnets, until they’re close enough that Jooheon can smell Jaebeom’s aftershave mixed with the sweat he must have worked up during the show. It makes Jooheon’s breath catch in his lungs. He always feels giddy after he performs, but the most triumphant feeling rushes through him when Jaebeom puts his hands on Jooheon's waist and leans in to kiss him, <i>finally</i>. </p>
<p>The bottle drops from Jooheon’s hand as he reaches up, curling his fingers into the front of Jaebeom’s shirt, his other hand sliding to his jaw. It’s a sweet kiss at first, slow and somehow all the more intense for it. It makes Jooheon shiver, an aborted noise escaping his lips and landing on Jaebeom’s, just before they part, but neither of them moves far.  Jooheon keeps his hand on Jaebeom’s jaw and presses another kiss to the corner of his mouth, letting his nose drag over Jaebeom’s cheek until their mouths line up again.   </p>
<p>It feels like a long time coming. It feels like the whole time Jooheon was on stage, they’ve been heading towards this. And maybe they should talk first, but Jooheon is happy to put a pin in that for now and indulge in the feeling of Jaebeom’s hands on his waist and his tongue in Jooheon’s mouth. </p>
<p>God, he’d forgotten how amazing just kissing the boy you like can be. </p>
<p>The kiss comes to an end with a series of small pecks placed on Jooheon’s lips and cheeks, and when he opens his eyes, Jaebeom is right there, beautiful and warm. </p>
<p>“You - you were incredible, on stage,” Jaebeom says softly, and he sounds a little breathless, his eyes closed for a moment longer before they open. “Couldn’t take my eyes off you.” </p>
<p>“I noticed,” Jooheon replies, sounding pleased and earnest about it.. </p>
<p>Jaebeom looks like he could say more, wants to say more, but Jooheon is already missing the feeling of Jaebeom's mouth against his and so he pushes up on his toes a little to bring his lips to Jaebeom's again. </p>
<p>Jaebeom's arms wrap around his waist, holding him close, his hands hot on Jooheon's bare skin, almost as hot as the inside of his mouth when Jooheon slides his tongue past Jaebeom's teeth. It’s less sweet and more demanding, Jooheon worrying for a split second if they’re pushing past boundaries they haven’t discussed yet, but the way Jaebeom holds him, fingers tightening and relaxing into his skin, tells Jooheon that they’re on the same page.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom groans into the kiss, and Jooheon swallows the noise greedily, pushing a hand into Jaebeom’s hair, tugging gently as he molds himself to Jaebeom’s front, wanting more, more, <i>more</i>. He barely realizes they’re moving, until his knees hit the dirty, frayed couch that’s pretty much the only piece of furniture in the room, and he breaks the kiss with a chuckle, turning his head to look down at it for a second.  </p>
<p>“Hey, Joo- oh <i>fuck</i>, sorry -” says the voice from the door, the apology tinted with laughter. Jooheon looks over to see Mark, one of the bar managers, a huge grin splitting his face in two, showing sharp canines. “The current set is almost done, they’re gonna need the room. Sorry.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom’s cheeks are ruddy red when he turns back around. “Mark-hyung?” </p>
<p>Mark’s wolfish grin turns to a look of surprise when he sees Jaebeom. “Jaebeom-ah? Huh. Long time no see,” he says finally. “I guess we have a lot to catch up on. I’ll tell the other band you’ll be right out, let you guys straighten yourselves out.” </p>
<p>Jooheon coughs a little when Mark leaves them, swinging his arms aimlessly, hating that he feels like he's just been caught by a teacher behind the bike sheds or something. He looks over at Jaebeom again who looks unfairly good with his mouth all swollen from their kisses and his hair mussed up by Jooheon's hands. </p>
<p>“Uh,” Jaebeom says, breaking into Jooheon's thoughts. “Drink?” </p>
<p>Jooheon feels a swell of pride at apparently rendering Jaebeom monosyllabic after just a few kisses and a squeeze. He preens internally and nods in answer. “Nothing too strong,” he says, making Jaebeom smile, just one side of his mouth lifting up. </p>
<p>“Nothing too strong.”  </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>Maybe getting interrupted was enough for them to come back down to earth, to stop being driven merely by their hormones and how amped up they both were, because the rest of the night ends up being much tamer. They have a drink with Jooheon’s friends, and he takes the opportunity to introduce Jaebeom to those who haven’t yet met him, properly.  </p>
<p>Shownu does it himself, slapping his bear paw on Jaebeom’s shoulder. “I’m Shownu!” </p>
<p>Jaebeom, for a reason that Jooheon can’t decipher, looks mildly star struck. “I - I know,” he stammers, and Jooheon blinks. He’s talked about Shownu a lot, in glowing terms, not to the extent where Jaebeom should feel intimidated the way he seems to be. Jooheon’s surprised - Jaebeom seems to be the kind to be more intimidating than intimidated.  </p>
<p>“You know?” He asks under his breath, and Shownu tilts his head.  </p>
<p>“You know?” Shownu repeats as well. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I mean, yeah, I’ve watched your mukbangs before.” </p>
<p>Shownu smiles his big smile, eyes disappearing, front teeth on full display.  “You have? Thank you so much.” </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jaebeom says, blinking up at him then looking back at Jooheon. “You - you never said anything.” </p>
<p>“Huh? I've told you about Shownu-hyung,” Jooheon says, amused at how Jaebeom seems unable to stop looking at Shownu. It’s strange, for Jooheon, because this is <i>Shownu-hyung</i>. Despite knowing that he’s Internet famous with his millions of followers on his mukbang Youtube channel, it always feels like a disconnect to him.  </p>
<p>“No, but, you didn't - that's <i>NuNu</i>,” Jaebeom whispers loudly. </p>
<p>Jooheon presses a hand to Jaebeom’s cheek, chuckling when he finally turns around again. “You’re cute,” he says, earning himself a laugh and a blush in reply. </p>
<p>They stay for a while, long enough that Jooheon starts feeling drowsy, leaning against Jaebeom’s shoulder without realizing it. But it’s nice, to spend time with Changkyun outside of the studio, to have Wonho and Shownu giggling together over the plate of fried chicken they ordered with their latest round, to have Hyungwon and Jaebeom discuss music. Jooheon soaks it in, so content, until Jaebeom turns to him, gently nudging him. </p>
<p>“Do you want to go? You look dead on your feet.” </p>
<p>Jooheon stifles a yawn. “I don’t <i>want</i> to, but I think I should, yeah.” He looks up, into Jaebeom’s eyes, warm brown and liquid gold. It makes Jooheon smile. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?” </p>
<p>“Oh, I’m coming with you,” Jaebeom replies, in a tone that tells Jooheon he’s not hesitating or backing down about it, which just make happy little butterflies swoop around in Jooheon’s stomach. </p>
<p>“Okay,” he agrees easily, before sliding off his stool, and making the rounds of goodbyes. </p>
<p>They take a taxi home and say their goodbyes in the hallway, with Jaebeom kissing Jooheon’s cheek, right on his dimple, which is enough to send Jooheon’s heart thumping in his chest anyway. When he gets inside his apartment, he has to lean back against the door for a second, pressing a hand to his chest as he grins, feeling like an absolute teenager, and enjoying it.  </p>
<p>He's in the kitchen checking that the cats have eaten and that there's enough water for them overnight when the doorbell goes. When he peers through the peephole all he sees is a cat's nose and whiskers held up against the other side. </p>
<p>He's laughing when he opens the door to Gucci meowing in Jaebeom's hold. </p>
<p>“Seriously, Gucci-yah?” he says, laughter in his voice, as she leans to put her paws on Jooheon’s shoulder, using him as a launch pad and scurrying off. Soon enough, there’s the sound of cats playing around, and Jooheon sighs with amusement, leaning against the door. “Of course, they’d get the zoomies at 2am. I’m sorry. Did she give you trouble?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom shakes his head, his eyes travelling all over Jooheon’s face. “No, she let me pick her up without fuss. She’s very friendly.” </p>
<p>“To you, maybe. She likes you.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom licks his lips. “Is she the only one?” </p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles, his cheeks heating up at the blatant line. Jooheon thinks they’ve been flirting for a while now, but it’s like Jaebeom has shifted gears now, and it makes Jooheon’s smile in delight as he rubs his palm against the back of his neck. “No.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles, looking infinitely pleased by the response, even though Jooheon could keep going - it’s unfair, in his opinion, that Gucci has spent more time in Jaebeom’s arms than he himself has.  </p>
<p>“Well, I should probably go, it’s late,” Jaebeom says instead, cutting through Jooheon’s thoughts. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess it is,” Jooheon says, licking his lips. They feel tingly and used in ways they haven’t felt in a long time. “Goodnight, hyung.” </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Honey-yah,” Jaebeom says, leaning in for a kiss. It's sweet at first, just a goodnight kiss, but in the next breath, he's being pressed against the doorframe, Jaebeom's body hard up against his. </p>
<p>It sends all sorts of delicious little sparks through his body, angling his head up to kiss Jaebeom deeper, the urgency from earlier apparently able to come back just like that. He grips at Jaebeom’s shirt, pulling him into the entryway of his apartment, the two of them locked in a push-and-pull that makes Jooheon’s toes curl in his socks. </p>
<p>Jaebeom breaks the kiss with a gasp, but doesn’t really move back, instead sliding his lips down along Jooheon’s jaw. He’s pushing him against the shoe rack, the unsteady piece of furniture wobbling under Jooheon’s weight. </p>
<p>It definitely feels like all of the yearning and longing that they've both been keeping bottled up is bursting out of them now. Jooheon can't get enough of it, enough of Jaebeom's hands on his body and his mouth on his neck. He spins them around so that he can push Jaebeom up against the wall instead, a nice solid surface that means he can slot his legs on either side of Jaebeom's thigh and grind down. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” Jaebeom groans, nipping at Jooheon's neck, panting damp breaths against his skin.  “If this is going slow, what is full speed going to be like.” </p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles, moving just enough to be able to rest his forehead against Jaebeom’s, looking into his eyes for a moment. “D’you still want to go slow?” He asks, his whole body aching for more. Jaebeom groans, tilting his hips and grinding right back against Jooheon, making him gasp. </p>
<p>“I do,” he answers truthfully, his voice rough with desire. “I worry that you won’t want me as much once you know everything you don’t yet.” </p>
<p>Jooheon can’t imagine what Jaebeom carries around on his shoulders that would be so big and bad that Jooheon would turn his back on him. Right now, with these giddy new relationship feelings running through him, it doesn’t feel like there could be anything at all.  </p>
<p>That’s not to say that Jooheon can’t relate to what Jaebeom is saying. He has his own baggage, after all. His failed relationship with Minhyuk still weighs heavy on him, even if he is moving forward, and then there’s the fact that he can’t be out, not in the way he wants to be.  </p>
<p>“Well, the feeling is mutual. But for what it’s worth, I do want to know. And I do want you.” It’s good to know that despite the fact that both of them are scared and scarred in apparent equal measures, there’s no denying the chemistry, no denying that they want each other. </p>
<p>But Jooheon’s barely done talking when a yawn rips out of him, loud and unbidden. For a while, the tiredness he felt earlier had subsided, overtaken by the rush of the moment, but it’s back now, making him sway a little in Jaebeom’s arms. </p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, stroking Jooheon's hair with a gentle hand. “Want me to put you to bed again?” His words are slow; he sounds just as tired as Jooheon feels. Still, Jooheon presses his nose against Jaebeom’s pulse point, breathing him in. </p>
<p>“Do I get a cuddle this time?” Jooheon murmurs, eyes closed as he soaks in the warmth of Jaebeom’s body, arms snaking around Jaebeom’s waist before Jaebeom answers the question. </p>
<p>Jaebeom doesn’t stop petting his hair and Jooheon barely hears the reply when it comes, whispered into the dark of the entranceway. “Until you fall asleep?” </p>
<p>It’s on the tip of Jooheon’s tongue to just tell Jaebeom to stay the night. They don’t have to do anything - it looks obvious now that the adrenaline he’d been running off on has burned out and he’s too tired to contemplate sex, even though he wants it. But maybe it’s a sign, too, that they should be pacing themselves.  </p>
<p>So he nods, nose brushing Jaebeom’s jaw. “Until I fall asleep.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Whew! This chapter was kind of a beast to edit but we made it and we're still on schedule!  It's a little shorter but it's not the size, it's what you do with it that counts.... right? *finger guns*</p>
<p>Also, we're not going to add an 'unreliable narrator' tag, but please just bear in mind that we are limited to Jooheon's POV when it comes to his impression of other people, mmkay?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jooheon’s buzz from the night of the performance lasts the better part of a week, his good mood helped along by frequent text messages from Jaebeom and the inevitable cat swaps that occur. Now, though, as well as getting a cat handed to him, he gets swept up into Jaebeom’s arms for a kiss, or a ten-minute make out session against the back of his front door, depending on their mood. It is, if you ask him, all kinds of wonderful.</p>
<p>Changkyun does nothing but tease him about the concert night and what Mark must have told him he walked into when they’re working in the studio the following Tuesday, but Jooheon lets him get away with it because his good mood results in them getting a good amount of work done.</p>
<p>“Ah, hyung, I think we should take the rest of the night off,” Changkyun says at around 11pm, very early for them. He’s sitting in Jooheon’s chair in front of the mixing desk, draped backwards over it and talking to Jooheon upside down. Jooheon had wanted listen to the playback through the speakers instead of through his headphones and now he’s standing in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips, watching Changkyun spin around in his very expensive chair like a delinquent.  A delinquent who wants to play hooky from work, apparently.</p>
<p>“Just because I said I’m happy with this one track doesn’t mean we’re done for today,” Jooheon says, coming back and flicking Changkyun between the eyes with his finger.</p>
<p>“No, but, seriously,” Changkyun says, getting up and rubbing his head with a wince.  “You’ve got a hot new man at home, right? What better reason do you need?  I won’t tell my management that we cut the session short so you could go and get railed.”</p>
<p> “Oh, look, your file just deleted itself, looks like we’ll be here all night re-recording it.”  He hovers over it with his mouse pointer and then fixes Changkyun with a glare.  </p>
<p>“Okay, I lied, it’s really me who wants to go home and get railed.” Changkyun falls to his knees and clasps both hands in front of his chest, looking up at Jooheon with a pout.  “Please can we wrap up early? Pretty please, Joohoney PD-nim?”</p>
<p>Jooheon snorts, then rubs a hand over his face. It wouldn’t hurt, maybe, to go home a little early for once the night before he’s due to have a training session with Wonho. Normally Wednesday mornings are full of pain and suffering – and that’s before he’s even got to the gym. He looks back at Changkyun who’s already got his phone out and is smirking at whatever message he’s received.  </p>
<p>“You know what,” Jooheon says, thinking fondly of eight uninterrupted hours in his very comfortable bed and maybe a little about texting Jaebeom for a while before he falls asleep.  “We <i>did</i> get a lot done already today.”</p>
<p>“Yes!” Changkyun shouts, punching the air.  “Let’s go get railed!”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>gave CK the night off for good behaviour. You asleep yet?</i></p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>since when does he behave?</i><br/>
<b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>[picture message]</i></p>
<p>Jooheon opens the picture as he gets out of the taxi in front of their building, sure that the smile on his face is completely dopey and stupid looking when he sees Jaebeom and Nora sprawled out on Jaebeom’s couch.</p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>he doesn’t. he wanted to go home and get railed</i></p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>what was your excuse?</i></p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>training with Wonho-hyung tomorrow morning. Wanna come along?</i></p>
<p>The response takes a little while, long enough that Jooheon thinks Jaebeom has fallen asleep, and he’s keying in his door code when his phone vibrates again. </p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>will he go easy on me if I come?</i></p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>I'll make sure he treats you well, I promise</i></p>
<p>The idea of Jaebeom in gym clothes, sweating up a storm, is enough for Jooheon to feel like he’s walking on air as he moves through his apartment, checking on the cats – both of them asleep on the couch, curled up around one another. They obviously wake up the moment he takes their food out of the cabinet, coming to lazily rub against his ankles, letting out little noises at him. </p>
<p>“I’m happy to see you too, my loves,” he replies, petting them when he’s done putting some kibble out. </p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>okay then. My life is in your hands. You home?</i></p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>yeah, just made it. Feeding the two hungry demons</i></p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>thought I heard your door. tell them hello for me. Sleep soon?</i></p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>that’s the plan. Do you want to come tuck me in?</i></p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>but I’m not sleepy yet</i></p>
<p>Well, Jooheon isn’t either, now. This conversation is so flirty, in ways they’ve mostly tried to avoid, the two of them apparently quite conscious of how easily they can rile each other up. But tonight, it’s like they don’t care what vague lines they decide to cross. Maybe it’s because Jooheon’s spent a solid chunk of his evening listening to Changkyun rap about sex, but it’s definitely on his mind, now, lizard brain very much awake.</p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>do you want me to suggest ways of tiring you out?</i></p>
<p>Jooheon throws his phone onto the couch across the living room as he goes to the bathroom, putting it well out of reach while he tries to empty his mind of those thoughts so he can actually get some sleep at some point tonight.  </p>
<p>There’s a text notification when he comes back from the bathroom, and his heart thunders in his chest, a little harder than he thought it would.</p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>I can guess some of them. They're very appealing, but I should let you get your sleep.</i></p>
<p>Jooheon rubs his thumb against the fat of his bottom lip as he reads the text, finding himself smiling at the response. Now, it doesn’t feel like a rejection, it just feels like a.... <i>later</i>. </p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>that sounds responsible</i></p>
<p>He turns off the lights and takes himself to bed, groaning in happiness when his back hits the mattress. Soon there are two purring lumps settling down next to him as well, and as much as Jooheon would love to have Jaebeom in his bed too, this is pretty great right here.</p>
<p>He gets another message as he reaches over to plug his phone in and almost sends the phone flying when he reads it.</p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>can’t be irresponsible when you have to be able to walk in a straight line tomorrow.</i>  </p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>sweet dreams honey-yah</i></p>
<p>Jooheon flops onto his back with one arm over his face, debating whether or not Jaebeom would hear it if he thumped on the wall or yelled at him through it. Instead, he laughs into his hands a little hysterically, feeling ridiculously happy, and a little ridiculously turned on, considering what Jaebeom wrote. It shouldn’t affect Jooheon quite as much as it does, but just knowing that Jaebeom thinks about it, thinks about what he could do to make Jooheon have trouble walking... it’s the kind of thing that Jooheon is going to be thinking about for a while, now.</p>
<p>It takes him a moment to be able to be reply, but he does, eventually.</p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>I'll dream about you, jaebeom-hyung</i></p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>They meet the next morning, a little amused and shy about their text conversation   the night before. But Jaebeom doesn’t hesitate to kiss Jooheon in the entryway of his apartment, a gentle little thing with his hand cupped around Jooheon’s jaw, making Jooheon’s whole body feel light and hot. He keeps on feeling like a teenager, like this is his first relationship and everything is a first, which makes it all so exhilarating he could giggle every time his eyes meet Jaebeom’s. Adding the sexual tension that’s so obvious it could be a third person between them, and Jooheon definitely feels like he hasn’t in years – young, attractive, wanted. It makes him feel powerful.</p>
<p>“Are you ready?” He asks after, when they’re in the elevator and he finally allows himself a moment to take in Jaebeom’s gym outfit; just a t-shirt and shorts, which should be nothing special. Jooheon’s always loved sweat shorts, if only just for comfort when he’s wearing them himself, but he’s getting a whole new level of appreciation as he watches the way they hug Jaebeom’s thighs. Jaebeom’s also got his hair tied up away from his face, and Jooheon wants to tug at the cute little sprout of hair on top of his head. </p>
<p>“Do I have to be worried?” Jaebeom asks, and Jooheon shrugs.</p>
<p>“Wonho-hyung takes his job seriously. He can be a little merciless.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Well, I do work out regularly so hopefully, I’ll survive, huh?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom smirks as they step out of the elevator, making their way through the lobby. “You better,” Jooheon replies softly, heartfelt. Jaebeom gives him a smile, and they set off for the gym, even starting to jog when they’re a few streets away, warming themselves up. </p>
<p>They get to the gym together, and Wonho’s waiting out front, grinning brightly when he sees Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Jaebeom-ah! I didn’t know you’d be coming too!”</p>
<p>Jooheon, feeling a hint of pride, raises his eyebrows. “Do you think you’ll ever convince Hyungwon-hyung to join us, one day?”</p>
<p>Wonho blurts out a laugh. “Only if we started doing jazzercise or something.”</p>
<p>All of a sudden, Jooheon's mind is filled with images of Hyungwon in Day-Glo spandex, dancing to JYP, and he laughs, stepping into the gym right behind Jaebeom, eyes drifting low, taking just a tiny moment for himself to appreciate again the way the sweat shorts cling to Jaebeom’s thighs. </p>
<p>Jooheon can feel Jaebeom’s eyes on him in return as he fills out the signing in book to sign Jaebeom in on his guest pass. It’s gratifying to know that he’s not the only one taking advantage of their gym clothes to not so subtly check the other out.  </p>
<p>“Hyung, I’m going to give Jaebeom-hyung a quick tour and then we’ll come and find you,” Jooheon says, taking Jaebeom’s hand in his. He’s a little nervous about doing it, despite the safe space they’re in, but that dissipates when Jaebeom squeezes his fingers tightly. Maybe he’s not the only nervous one.</p>
<p>Wonho sends them off with a nod and Jooheon does his best tour guide Barbie impression as he shows Jaebeom where the locker rooms are and the café, with no small sense of pride in what Wonho has built up.</p>
<p>“So, Jaebeom-ah, are you joining Honey-yah for his circuit?  It’s leg day,” Wonho says, handing both of them a fresh bottle of water once they get to the actual gym floor.  “Remember – no squatties, no hotties, although maybe neither of you need any help in that regard anymore.”</p>
<p>Jooheon rolls his eyes as Jaebeom barks out a laugh. “Hyung, I’ve only just got here,” he whines.</p>
<p>“What? It was a compliment!” Wonho giggles, patting Jooheon on the back. “Okay, on a serious note, you need to warm up, so Jaebeom-ah, what’s it to be?”</p>
<p>“Go do your thing,” Jaebeom says, leaving Jooheon with a quick kiss and a pat to the hip. “I’ll be on the treadmill for a bit. I’ve brought music anyway.”</p>
<p>They’re quick to set up. Wonho has a special circuit and routine for Jooheon, as usual</p>
<p>It works for Jooheon, who tends to take his workouts as seriously as Wonho does, and he gets immersed into things quickly, going from the heavy ropes to a set of burpees, to lunges and squats. </p>
<p>“Go on, another set of 20 squats. You’re activating your glutes!”</p>
<p>Jooheon groans, squeezing his hands together as he drops into another squat. “Oh, believe me, they’re most definitely activated.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Wonho grins. “It can only help you in the bedroom anyway.”</p>
<p>Jooheon grunts, stopping dead in his tracks as his head whips around to look at Jaebeom, now power walking on the treadmill. Jooheon grunts again, eyes drawn down again, licks his lips, letting the tip linger against the fat of his bottom lip.</p>
<p>“Honey-yah?”</p>
<p>He looks up at Wonho, who’s grinning from ear to ear. Did Jooheon space out for that long, really? “Hm,” he says, feeling a little stupid about it. </p>
<p>“I’m impressed at how quickly he can draw your attention.”</p>
<p>“I have no idea what you mean,” Jooheon replies, knowing full well he can’t exactly divert the topic right now. Wonho has caught him red-handed.</p>
<p>“Sure you don’t. Now, tell me. Is he good? I mean, he must be good, for you to turn into a slobbering dog the moment he looks at you.”</p>
<p>“<i>Hyung</i>!” Jooheon thwacks him, an affronted look on his face. He’s not exactly surprised at Wonho asking this – they have very little boundaries, and Wonho tends to be the curious type. Jooheon gets it, too; he’s not been in a relationship of any kind in a while, and if there was anything to share, he’d want to. “Like you and hyung weren't just as bad at first.”</p>
<p>“Oh no, we were. That doesn’t change the question, though! I’ll make you do 50 box jumps if you don’t tell me.”</p>
<p>”Wow, resorting to blackmail? That’s low,” Still, he flushes furiously, looking down at the kettlebell in his hand, refraining from swinging it around. It’s not that he’s embarrassed that they haven’t had sex yet, because he’s not, but he’s embarrassed to be having this conversation. He likes being his hyungs’ center of attention most of the time, but right now, he wishes he could hide a little.</p>
<p>“We haven’t - we didn’t -” He pauses, then takes a breath, putting the kettlebell down. He throws a look around, to see Jaebeom is still on the treadmill, earphones in. “We haven’t had sex yet.”</p>
<p>Wonho looks seriously surprised – not judging, just taken aback, which Jooheon can’t blame him for. Even if he’s not been in many relationships through his life, Jooheon’s never exactly been the patient kind when it comes to sex, and Wonho knows that for a fact.</p>
<p>“Seriously? You were all over each other at the bar,” Wonho says, eyebrows somewhere up in his hairline. “I thought it was a done deal then. Damn, I owe Hyungwonnie 10,000 won.”</p>
<p>Jooheon shakes his head, inspecting his fingernails for a second before starting to clean up the area, taking the weights he’d been using and putting them on the racks, just to give himself something to do while his brain works hard. </p>
<p>“We’ve talked about taking things slow, so it’s better that we didn’t. I’d rather we took our time and it works out, you know?”</p>
<p>Wonho hums in understanding. “You’re being all mature about this.”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s first instinct is to whine that he’s always mature, thank you very much, but he realizes just how much that would defeat the point, so instead, he shrugs. “I like him, hyung. I don’t want to fuck things up again. Not like I did with Minhyuk-hyung.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t - it wasn’t all you,” Wonho says. “It takes two to tango, you guys were both responsible. But let me backtrack anyway - you think sex will fuck things up?”</p>
<p>Jooheon winces, then looks over against at Jaebeom. “Hyung, he’s right there.”</p>
<p>Wonho purses his lips. “Okay, wait a sec. I’ll ask Big Matthew-hyung to look after him, give him a circuit. You, give you 20 pull-ups while I do that.”</p>
<p>Jooheon gives him a little salute as he watches Wonho go, then gets to work, without complaint. He’s pretty dedicated to his crossfit workouts, especially since he’s realized just how good it makes him feel, afterwards. He doesn’t especially care about getting bigger, although it’s a big added benefit, but mainly what he loves is the strain in his muscles, it’s growing stronger and feeling stronger, too. He does as Wonho asks, struggling as he gets towards the last 5, arms trembling and sweat running down his face. At least, he can’t get distracted by looking at Jaebeom – he turned to stare at the wall on purpose.</p>
<p>“Good job,” Wonho says when Jooheon comes down, leaning over with his hands on his knees to take a breath. “BM-hyung is giving Jaebeom-ah his complimentary PT assessment, so we’re good for a bit. Where were we? Oh, yes!” He holds a finger up in the air, smile a little devious. “The fact that you have a super hot boyfriend that you’ve yet to bang.”</p>
<p>“You make it sound so crass when you say it like that,” Jooheon says between breaths. “And who said boyfriend?” He chances another look at Jaebeom, sweating profusely as he does squats under Big Matthew’s supervision. He’s so fucking hot like this, his shorts perfectly hugging his ass, his shirt sticking against his back; Jooheon has a moment where all he can see in his head is himself, running his tongue all the way from Jaebeom’s balls to the nape of his neck as Jaebeom lies on his stomach on Jooheon’s bed, and he shudders, mouth dropping open. </p>
<p>“Jooheonie?” Wonho asks, and Jooheon snaps back to the conversation, the red of his cheeks turning very hot, but he gathers himself, continuing his previous train of thought. </p>
<p>“And for what it’s worth, it’s not that we don’t want to. At least, I think he wants to, and I definitely want to. But he just seems… cautious, and I don’t want to push him to do something he’s not ready for yet. I think it’s not a bad thing that we make sure we’re into each other before going further.”</p>
<p>And it’s not a bad thing, in Jooheon’s opinion, that they want to talk about their baggage before adding more to it. Wonho puts a hand on Jooheon’s shoulder, smiling gently.</p>
<p>“Jooheonie, I can assure you right now, he definitely has the hots for you,” Wonho says softly, and again, that isn’t really the issue. “But I think you’re being smart about it. Both of you are. You’re not teenagers with nothing to lose, right? It makes sense, to be careful.”</p>
<p>Jooheon nods. “It seems like he doesn’t trust easy, and I don’t want to give him any reason not to trust me. I want – I want to do things right. I like him. I like him <i>so much</i>.”</p>
<p>“Ah, Jooheonie, my sweet Honeybee,” Wonho sings, petting Jooheon's hair. “He’s lucky to have you. You're a good person. Anyone with half a braincell can see that.”</p>
<p>“You're living proof, right, hyung?”</p>
<p>“I take it back - you're a hateful brat.  Now drop and give me fifty.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>To cool down from the workout, Jaebeom walks home and Jooheon runs; and so they make their separate ways back home, Jaebeom taking more of a scenic route to make sure he’s allowing his muscles to cool down, while Jooheon goes for the more aggressive way. They agree to text once they’re home and showered, even though Jaebeom has plans with Youngjae in the afternoon. </p>
<p>When he gets home, Jooheon is hot, sweaty and exhausted, but he also feels <i>good</i>. He feels like he should after a good workout, and he feels proud of himself, even as he thinks he could lie down in his entryway and never move again. His cats could feed on him for days. </p>
<p>“Hi, my darlings, did you miss me?” Jooheon crouches to fuss over both cats, scooping Yoshi up into his arms as he stands up and kisses her face. “Mmmmwah!”  He scoops up and kisses Gucci in turn, grinning when she rubs her tiny face against his cheek. “God, you’re so cute,” he says to them, feeling all warm and content inside. </p>
<p>He walks through the lounge after the cats once they’re out of his hold, stripping out of his shirt as he goes. He heads for the bathroom to toss it into the laundry basket.</p>
<p>The door is ajar when he gets there which makes him frown because usually, he keeps it closed so that Yoshi doesn't play with the toilet paper. He's sure he shut it properly this morning before he left for the gym, but he was in a hurry so maybe he didn't quite pull it hard enough. Oh well. He can't see a trail of paper anywhere, so Yoshi hasn't got up to any mischief today at least.</p>
<p>He shoots the t-shirt at the basket from the doorway and fist pumps when it goes sailing straight in. “Nothing but net,” he whisper-cheers to himself. He uses the toilet and then stops short when he goes to wash his hands and finds his sink filled with cat. Specifically, Jaebeom's cat.</p>
<p>“Nora-yah, baby, what are you doing sleeping in my sink?”</p>
<p>She’s cute. She’s so cute, even though she shouldn’t be here, and she looks so serene that he doesn’t even want to bother her. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, taking a picture with a grin. She quickly jumps out and away when he starts up the shower, even though it wouldn’t be the first time that Jooheon ends up in the shower with a cat observing him.</p>
<p>He’s quick with it and then goes to get changed, putting on a loose t-shirt and sweatpants before he sends the picture to Jaebeom with a bunch of heart emojis.</p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>look who I found! Come get her whenever</i></p>
<p>He goes through his usual routine, making himself a smoothie, feeding the cats, his standard day off habits. But of course, now, he’s got Jaebeom on the brain, from watching him work up a sweat, to the conversation he had with Wonho staying in his mind. Purely hoping, Jooheon makes a second smoothie; it has the benefit of keeping his hands occupied, at least. </p>
<p>When he checks his phone again, though, there’s a reply from Jaebeom.</p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>ok I’ll be right over.</i></p>
<p>They’ve just spent all morning together at the gym, but knowing that he’s minutes away from seeing Jaebeom makes him feel a little giddy. When the doorbell goes, Jooheon is quick to get up and run over to the door, opening it to a bright-eyed Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Hi, hyung,” he whispers, smiling up at him.</p>
<p>“Hi,” Jaebeom replies, taking a step forward and reaching up to cradle Jooheon’s neck with his hands, leaning in for a soft little kiss that has Jooheon sighing against his lips. Every kiss feels so new still, even the gentlest one makes Jooheon tingle in the very best way. It also makes him want more constantly, but he keeps himself in check, pulling Jaebeom into the apartment.</p>
<p>He smells so good, clean and freshly showered, Jooheon has to refrain from burying his face into Jaebeom’s neck as he leads him to the kitchen. “I made some smoothies; do you want one?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, sure!”</p>
<p>Jooheon hands him one of the glasses, and the two of them move to the living-room, but they don’t sit, the two of them finding a cat to pet almost immediately. Jooheon keeps one hand on Yoshi’s back while he drinks his smoothie in one long gulp. “Did you like the session? BM-hyung wasn’t too hard on you?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles. “I’m definitely going to feel it for a few days, but it was good! This guy knows how to motivate people, gotta say. It’s like he knew every time I was about to pass out and he’d find some compliment or motivational quote to give me.”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs heartily. “Sounds like BM-hyung.”</p>
<p>“I somehow ended up telling him he should come to the store.”</p>
<p>“Oh, did you?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom slides closer, and Jooheon smiles, cold fingers curling into Jaebeom’s shirt.</p>
<p>“By the way, you should come again soon, Jooheonie,” Jaebeom says into his ear. “I put something aside for you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon is entranced by the sudden drop in Jaebeom’s voice, the way he steps infinitely closer. Their noses brush when Jooheon leans in, just a fraction. “Yeah?” </p>
<p>“Mmhmm,” Jaebeom replies, and Jooheon feels heat flaring up low in his stomach at the look on Jaebeom’s face. </p>
<p>Jooheon straightens up and takes their empty smoothie glasses into the kitchen, putting them on the counter near enough to the dishwasher that he can count it as being practically in there. He can feel a cat by his ankles but he's so used to it by now he doesn't even look down until he hears the crunch crunch sound of kibble being chewed.</p>
<p>He laughs. “Jaebeom-hyung, I don't think you need to worry about Nora.”</p>
<p>“Huh?” Jaebeom says, appearing in the doorway.</p>
<p>“Look.” Jooheon points over to the cat bowls where Nora, Gucci, and Yoshi are all munching from one bowl.</p>
<p>Jaebeom stares for a second before grinning, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “She’s been adopted,” he says softly, and Jooheon nods. </p>
<p>“Looks that way. I’m glad.”</p>
<p>Just to keep his hands busy, Jooheon loads the dishwasher with their dirty glasses after all as Jaebeom walks further into the kitchen. It’s hard not to reach out all the time, wanting to be close to Jaebeom for every moment they have. He knows it’s just a floaty, all-encompassing honeymoon period type of thing, and he doesn’t want to go too far too fast, so he tries to restrain himself slightly, despite his touchy-feely tendencies. </p>
<p>So, he’s immensely glad when Jaebeom is the one that initiates, reaching out to wrap his arms around Jooheon, pulling him close.</p>
<p>“Are you busy on Friday night? No performances or anything?”</p>
<p>Jooheon shakes his head, placing his hands on Jaebeom’s arms, tracing the lines of his veins under his skin. He can feel Jaebeom’s heart beating against his back and he wonders if Jaebeom can feel it too when Jooheon’s own pulse speeds up in anticipation.  “No, I’m not busy. What were you thinking of?”</p>
<p>“Would you like to come for dinner?” Jaebeom asks, voice dropping to almost a whisper.</p>
<p>“A date?” Jooheon says, leaning back into Jaebeom's chest. “Where?”</p>
<p>“My place,” Jaebeom says, placing a soft kiss behind Jooheon's ear. “I'll cook. I mean, I want to cook for you. Just you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s stomach explodes with butterflies, fluttering wildly even as he smiles and closes his eyes, tilting his head up and back to get more kisses on his cheek.  </p>
<p>“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. I’d love to.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Friday takes its sweet time to come. Thursday feels like the longest day in history, with Jooheon having to face crisis after crisis at work - a trainee having a panic attack in the recording booth, Changkyun calling in a state because he couldn’t find one of his masters anymore, and an urgent request to speed up the mixing of a new song keeping him very busy, but also frayed at the edges. He comes home in the early hours of the morning on Friday and collapses in bed for what feels like most of the day. </p>
<p>Which means that when he wakes up in the afternoon, he’s feeling pretty refreshed, but he also feels out of time to get ready for dinner. Which is silly, he’s got a few hours and he only has to go next door, but in between showering, some serious grooming (you never know what Jaebeom’s going to end up seeing, and Jooheon likes to be trimmed anyway), and picking out a good outfit, well… Time flies. </p>
<p>He also has to text Wonho a picture of his outfit, asking for opinion and approval, which takes some time, too, especially since Wonho makes him change shirts from the t-shirt he first picked to a black button-down, and then tells him to wear his <i>’sex jeans’</i> - it’s sad that Jooheon doesn’t have to wonder which pair he means by that, he knows exactly that Wonho means the ones with all the rips over them, front and back. By the time Jooheon is ready, it’s practically time for him to go over to Jaebeom’s, and feeding the cats ends up making him slightly late. He rushes over to Jaebeom’s, knocking on the door lightly and refraining from tugging at his carefully tousled hair. </p>
<p>At least, he’s glad to see he’s not the one who made an obvious effort when the door opens. Jaebeom’s wearing a black button-down too, only with a flower pattern all over, and it looks very, very nice on him. Jooheon grins, stepping inside when Jaebeom gestures for him to. The apartment smells of sesame oil and vegetable broth, and Jooheon feels suddenly so, so thankful for the invitation.</p>
<p>“Hi,” he breathes out, looking Jaebeom up and down. “You look nice.” </p>
<p>“Thanks. So do you,”   Jaebeom visibly swallows as he replies. Score one for the sex jeans, Jooheon thinks triumphantly. </p>
<p>Jaebeom sounds almost as breathless as Jooheon feels, which makes him feel better about the nerves and the dressing up even more.</p>
<p>Jooheon hadn't bothered putting shoes on, shuffling across the hall in his slippers instead, so he follows after Jaebeom into the flat, looking around and re-familiarizing himself with the place. He sees Nora perched on the cat tree, tail swishing lazily as she watches him across the room.</p>
<p>“I got some wine, but there's beer and soju if you prefer,” Jaebeom calls from the kitchen over the noise of the extractor fan. “Or water. Or coke. Or juice. I, uh, I just bought some of everything.”</p>
<p>Jooheon follows him to the kitchen, looking around curiously to try and determine what Jaebeom is cooking, a childlike, happy smile on his face. “Beer is good,” he answers, before turning to look at Jaebeom, a little surprised. “Jaebeom-hyung, are you nervous?”</p>
<p>He wants to say, <i>it’s just me</i>, because it is, but he also understands - he is feeling nervous, himself. Tonight is a night where they are completely alone, and in private, and yet he has no idea what to expect of it all. He just knows that being around Jaebeom makes him feel like he is walking on clouds    , in that it’s thrilling and exhilarating and soft at the same time, and it makes him nervous because it feels delicate and special and he doesn’t want to ruin it. </p>
<p>“I am, yeah. A little,” Jaebeom finally says, looking back at Jooheon. “I want to make a good impression.” </p>
<p>“You are.”</p>
<p>“Well, you haven't eaten anything yet,” Jaebeom says, hands fidgeting with chopsticks. “I might poison you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs and stretches up on his toes to kiss Jaebeom, just a soft 'hello, calm down' gesture, but he doesn't stop Jaebeom from deepening it when he swipes his tongue over Jooheon's bottom lip. It makes Jooheon’s whole body respond, heat flaring in his stomach, but he forces himself to pull back eventually, reluctantly, chasing Jaebeom’s lips for another couple of quick kisses before he moves away entirely. </p>
<p>“Sorry, I’m distracting you,” he says lightly, teasing. Jaebeom groans gently before moving back to the food. The table is already set, but Jooheon still manages to help a little by getting their drinks, beer for himself and wine for Jaebeom, and they chat idly as Jaebeom finishes cooking and then starts bringing up dishes to the table, Jooheon sitting patiently. </p>
<p>When they’re finally both sitting down and digging in, Jooheon chews around a piece of crunchy kimchi before asking. “So how did you end up being such a good cook, anyway?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom shrugs. “After university, I was sharing an apartment with Jinyoungie and Youngjae-yah and Mark-hyung, and they were all pretty hopeless at cooking. I found out I liked doing it? So I just ended up learning that way.”</p>
<p>“So how do they all cope without you now?”</p>
<p>“Unhealthily,” Jaebeom says with a smile as he spoons rice into his bowl.</p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles and tries not to dwell on the fact that Jaebeom hadn't just had some kind of relationship with Jinyoung, but they'd lived together too, albeit with other people.</p>
<p>It’s not a fair thought. He used to live with Minhyuk, after all, but he can’t help the way his mind goes there, imagining Jinyoung and Jaebeom cuddling on the couch. He swallows hard, chopsticks twirling ramen around his bowl but not eating. </p>
<p>“Honey-yah?”</p>
<p>Jooheon blinks, looking up. “Huh?”</p>
<p>“Lost you for a second, there,” Jaebeom says kindly, and Jooheon blushes. </p>
<p>“Sorry. I was just... “</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>Jooheon frowns to himself, feeling foolish. “Were you with Jinyoung, back then?” He asks, before shaking his head. “You don’t have to answer that, it’s none of my business, and honestly it doesn’t matter to me -”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t, then. To be honest I never really was. We weren’t - that. Committed. Which became part of the problem.” Jaebeom replies, painfully honest. It’s like he’s cracking his chest open for Jooheon to peek inside. </p>
<p>“Oh. Oh, I see,” Jooheon says, then waves his hand around aimlessly. “We don't need to dig up skeletons right now, unless you've secretly got a kid or something. Which would be fine!”   </p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles, not exactly looking uncomfortable. Jooheon’s the one who regrets asking, taking a huge helping of noodles and slurping them noisily. Thing is, they do have to talk about all this, not just Jaebeom, but Jooheon too. It’s just so incredibly hard, to talk about your past relationships, and how they might have fucked you up, with the person you currently like. Jooheon feels weak, when he thinks about how badly his breakup messed him up, and he still feels, sometimes, that he could – and should – have done more to save his relationship with Minhyuk. </p>
<p>But now he’s got a chance at something new, and he doesn’t want to ruin it by being too scared about talking about the past. It’ll help them, give them something honest and open to build upon. </p>
<p>And it seems like Jaebeom agrees.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I kinda - I’m glad we’re talking about this, actually. It’s part of what I want you to know about, even if I’m worried about it.” </p>
<p>Jooheon puts down his chopsticks, looking back up as he swallows his food.  He remembers all too well Jaebeom telling him he’s worried that whatever he has to tell Jooheon would mean Jooheon doesn’t like him anymore. He still can’t imagine anything that happened between Jinyoung and Jaebeom could lead to that, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to give Jaebeom his full attention. “Go on, it’s okay.”   </p>
<p>Jaebeom nods. “I was hesitant, when you told me you like me -” he pauses, but Jooheon doesn’t interrupt. “Because all of this stuff, with Jinyoung, I wasn’t sure I was over it.”</p>
<p>Jooheon swallows hard, stomach twisting as he remembers Jaebeom telling him he doesn’t know how he feels. Even through the haze of alcohol, it feels very easy to recall. “Right, yeah,” he says, before looking up, feeling tension in his shoulders. “Are you over it?”</p>
<p>“I am. I’m over it.”</p>
<p>Blinking past the dread that had started to fill up his head, Jooheon looks at the hesitant smile on Jaebeom’s face, and allows himself a little bit of relief. </p>
<p>“But?” He asks, and he wishes he wasn’t so monosyllabic right now, because he’s good at talking usually, he writes lyrics all the time, but right now he just feels like Jaebeom has to get this stuff off of his chest. And Jaebeom sighs softly, licking his lips.</p>
<p>“But I think it’s part of why I want us to - take it slow, especially the. Physical side. Because back then, with Jinyoungie, it was like – sex was all that we had. And it always left me feeling kinda hollowed out. So now I don’t want sex to be everything my relationship is. Does that make sense?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom looks worried as he speaks, looking down at his knees, and Jooheon wants to tilt his chin up, have their eyes meet. Because it makes sense, and he gets it, and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if he dies of blue balls, because he likes Jaebeom, and it’s not just about sex for him, either. He wants Jaebeom to be sure of him, just like he told Wonho. </p>
<p>He nods, thinking for a moment before he talks a little more. “I get it. I don’t - I don’t care. I don’t mind. I’m not in this just for the sex. That we’re not yet having.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles a little, shifting in his chair so he can lean over to take Jooheon's hand, tracing the blue veins at the inside of his wrist with his thumb. “Hey, I don't want to wait forever either, but it feels good to know that.”</p>
<p>Jooheon nods again, shivering when Jaebeom's thumb runs over his skin again. “So long as I still get cuddles and kisses, I'm good.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles brighter. “I’ve noticed you’re fond of those.”</p>
<p>Jooheon blushes. “Yeah. I’m sorry? I know it can be a bit much.”</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize. I like it - I like it with you. Was your ex not touchy-feely?” He asks, then frowns. “Shit, never mind, you don’t have to answer that.”</p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles. “No, he was,” he replies, before growing more serious. “At least, at first. Towards the end, he wasn’t, which I can’t blame him for.” He stops again, rubbing his hands against his thighs nervously. The thing is, he doesn’t <i>want</i> to talk about Minhyuk, but he owes it to Jaebeom, who told him why he’s scared so candidly, so openly.</p>
<p>“Our break-up was messy. We dragged it out for months, like we didn’t want to admit that it was over. I don’t think you want to hear details, but that’s - that’s my baggage, you know? It took me a long, long time to get over it. To feel ready for a new relationship. That’s why I’m careful, even if I don’t always seem like I am.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom listens unflinchingly, and takes a moment to respond, which Jooheon appreciates; he’s paying attention and he’s being serious about everything that Jooheon is telling him, which is important. It’s important to him. Jaebeom reaches out, curling his fingers around Jooheon’s, and bringing his hand to his mouth, kissing his knuckles very softly, eyes practically closed as he does it. Jooheon’s heart seizes, his breath knocked right out of him. “Hyung -”</p>
<p>“I can’t, and I won’t, make any kind of off-the-cuff promise to you. I can’t promise that we won’t hurt each other. But I can say that I’m very glad that I met you now, when you’re ready. Because I really want to do this with you. Even if at first, we limit ourselves to kisses and cuddles,” he says, pressing his cheek to the back of Jooheon’s hand to be able to smile at him.</p>
<p>Jooheon feels tears at the corners of his eyes, but he blinks them away, chuckling weakly after a moment longer of just staring at Jaebeom, stunned. Then he opens his hand, cupping Jaebeom’s cheek.</p>
<p>“Just so you know, when it comes to cuddles, I’m insatiable.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom grins, bright and amused, eyes practically disappearing as he leans further into Jooheon’s touch.</p>
<p>“Jinyoung would probably spout some psychology about childhood and nurturing, but honestly? It's just ‘cos it feels good, right?”</p>
<p>Jooheon beams at him. “Yeah, it does. You, um, you don't mind that I cuddle with my other hyungs do you? That's kind of a deal breaker.”</p>
<p>“Nah. It’s not about more with them, is it? I don’t have reason to be jealous?”</p>
<p>At that, Jooheon laughs heartily. Considering how his best friends are all so boringly married to each other, Jooheon would be one desperately pining soul if it was the case. “God no. The only one I want to jump the bones of is you.”</p>
<p>“That's very good to know,” Jaebeom says, eyes dark when they meet Jooheon's again, who’s still smiling.</p>
<p>“I can go at your pace. I can’t say I’ve ever done that before.”</p>
<p>“Go at someone else’s pace?”</p>
<p>Jooheon shakes his head. “No, no, just. Wait. Before having sex. You know.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Yeah, can’t say I’ve done that much either.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom sounds so sincere, and it makes all sorts of lovely images pop up in Jooheon’s head. He doesn’t consider himself an especially greedy person when it comes to sex, what he craves is the intimacy more than anything else, but he can’t deny that he is undeniably horny for Jaebeom. Which makes the self-control part more difficult. He looks down at his food again, clearing his throat. “Maybe we should stop this line of conversation in case willpower doesn't win out.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs. “Okay, okay, fair. Tell me about your day, then.”</p>
<p>Jooheon groans and drinks some more beer, which makes Jaebeom laugh again.</p>
<p>“That bad, huh?” Jaebeom takes his hand across the table, thumb rubbing his knuckles.</p>
<p>“It’s been a long week,” Jooheon says, sipping his beer and turning his hand over so that they can link their fingers. “This is the best ending to it.”</p>
<p>“Good, I’m glad.”</p>
<p>“I do have a question about your work though and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Jooheon says, tapping his lips with his finger. “After everything that went on, how did you and Jinyoung-ssi end up running the store together. Was that something you always planned to do?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom sucks in a deep breath through his teeth and Jooheon immediately regrets asking, but it’s something that’s been playing on his mind ever since Jaebeom told him that Jinyoung was his ex.</p>
<p>“Ah, well, maybe that’s not a story for our first date night,” Jaebeom says, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand. “But it was what made me realize that Jinyoungie was never going to have the same kind of feelings about me and that while we’ll always be best friends and business partners, that’s where it ends.” He squeezes Jooheon’s hand.  “And I’m fine with that, I promise.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Jooheon replies, fingers squeezing Jaebeom’s in response. There’s no reason for him to push further, especially tonight. </p>
<p>After that, the conversation flows easily, from work to music, obviously, the two of them both passionate about it, and with a lot to say about their respective fields. They cover a lot about it, but let the conversation move along easily, going towards where they grew up, what they used to be like, places they want to go to. </p>
<p>“I was a choir boy, you know?” Jooheon says after he talks a little about Daegu. “Because when I was little, I kept on crying and being loud in church, so they decided to put it to good use.”</p>
<p>“I bet you looked so cute,” Jaebeom says, bumping their hips together as they clean up the kitchen. The food is all gone and so is the wine and beer and Jooheon is feeling loose and relaxed for the first time in days. Not just from the alcohol.</p>
<p>“I didn't make any dessert, but we could probably order something if you wanted something sweet,” Jaebeom says, looking around the room, one hand at the back of his own head, playing with his hair.</p>
<p>Jooheon wants to make a joke about having all the honey they need right here but he bites his tongue and shakes his head, pulling Jaebeom by the arm through to the lounge and pushing him down on the sofa. He sits down next to him and curls in close, tugging Jaebeom's arm around his shoulders.</p>
<p>Jaebeom is willing enough, a little noise escaping him as he holds Jooheon close, the mood turning a little softer. </p>
<p>“The food was amazing,” Jooheon whispers, closing his eyes as he tucks his head in the crook of Jaebeom’s neck. “I feel very spoiled.”</p>
<p>“That was kind of the point,” Jaebeom murmurs, face pressed into Jooheon's hair. Jooheon feels warm all over.</p>
<p>“You feel like watching a movie or...?” Jaebeom asks after a minute of just quiet breathing and Jooheon listening to the solid thump thump of Jaebeom's heartbeat.</p>
<p>“Or?” He prods, curious to know what Jaebeom’s had in mind.</p>
<p>“We could play video games? I’m not exactly great at them, but I’ve got a Switch. Or...”</p>
<p>“Or?” Jooheon prompts again, nearly giggling to himself.</p>
<p>“We could make out,” Jaebeom says in an amused tone, because they both know it was where this was going. Jooheon hums, making a show of considering each of the options, miming weighing them out against each other with his hands, making Jaebeom laugh.</p>
<p>“Let's take a rain check on options one and two for now,” Jooheon says, sitting up straight and twisting to throw one leg over Jaebeom's thighs until he's straddling him, looking down into his eyes.</p>
<p>“Option three it is, then.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom’s hands find Jooheon’s hips right away, fitting over his shirt and not trying to untuck it from his jeans, just holding him close. Jooheon leans in, and the two of them meet halfway for a kiss that’s a little heated from the get-go, Jooheon angling his head as he presses closer, looping his arms around Jaebeom’s neck.</p>
<p>Jooheon moans lightly - Jaebeom’s an excellent kisser, and Jooheon could find himself addicted to this very easily. He slides a hand up in Jaebeom’s hair, settling onto his lap a little more as his knees slide further apart on the couch.</p>
<p>Jaebeom’s hands drift down, palming at Jooheon’s thighs, and he groans, pulling away from the kiss for a moment, looking down. </p>
<p>“Those goddamned jeans, Jooheonie,” he says breathlessly, his left pinkie finger finding the edge of the highest slit over Jooheon’s thigh.</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs, just as out of breath, and rests his forehead against Jaebeom's. “Wonho-hyung calls them my sex jeans, but we'll ignore that for now, hm?”</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Jaebeom grunts, eyes closed tight for a moment as he keeps touching Jooheon like he can’t quite stop himself. It is rewarding for Jooheon, but definitely making the whole ‘have some self-control’ thing very difficult to maintain. </p>
<p>But he doesn’t really want to stop kissing Jaebeom either, so he’s going to have to manage. Yet he can’t help himself either when he speaks next, voice low and heavy with unspoken arousal. “I know we're not going to, you know, but if I go home later and jerk off and then text you to tell you about it, that's okay right?”  </p>
<p>Jaebeom bites his lip, making it even more inviting for Jooheon, who leans in to flick his tongue against it, finding it hard to breathe in the charged atmosphere. </p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s - fuck, yeah.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom surges forward, kissing Jooheon again, hard and greedy, making Jooheon melt into him immediately. His fingers slide into the slit on Jooheon's jeans with more purpose now, hot and a little damp with sweat on Jooheon's thigh, sticking to his skin under the tightly stretched denim. It's almost too much, if they're going to stop this before it gets too far, too tempting, but for now Jooheon just pushes his knees into the couch either side of Jaebeom's hips and grabs at Jaebeom's hair, tugging his head back to expose the smooth column of his neck.</p>
<p>“I was - thinking -” Jaebeom pants as Jooheon licks his way over his jaw and down. “Maybe - need a haircut. You're - you're making me - reconsider.”</p>
<p>“I like your hair long,” Jooheon replies with his mouth to Jaebeom’s skin, pressing kisses in between words, feeling how fast his heart is beating, making his blood slam through his veins, hot with an arousal he has to keep in check. “But I’m sure - I’d like it short, too.” He whispers, making Jaebeom hums. </p>
<p>“I - I like you - blond,” Jaebeom replies. “I haven’t said before.” </p>
<p>It makes Jooheon chuckle that they’re talking about their hair like this, while he’s considering sucking a mark into Jaebeom’s neck. He pulls back suddenly, sitting fully on Jaebeom’s lap, and looks down at him, thumb brushing the thin skin of his neck.</p>
<p>“How inconsiderate of your work and your relationship with Jinyoung would it be of me if I gave you a hickey?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom raises an eyebrow. “Are we fifteen?”</p>
<p>“Well, we're a little early in our relationship for you to get my name tattooed, but I'd still like a little something to show the world that you're - “ Jooheon stops himself before he says <i>mine</i>, “- spoken for.”</p>
<p>Is there a small, ugly part of him that wants Jinyoung to know, very clearly, that Jaebeom has moved on? Maybe, but it’s a part of him he’s not willing to show Jaebeom, because he’s ashamed of it. Jooheon doesn’t even dislike Jinyoung. </p>
<p>Jaebeom’s hands tighten on Jooheon’s thighs. “I’m that, huh?”</p>
<p>Jooheon blinks, then flushes. “I mean, I know we haven’t talked about it, but I thought it was pretty obvious that I’m not playing the field, here.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, the sound pleased and playful. “Neither am I, Honey-yah,” he replies, smiling big. “If we’re exclusive, does that make you my boyfriend?”</p>
<p>Jooheon groans, dropping his forehead on Jaebeom’s shoulder, but he’s laughing too. “Wow, we’re cheesy.”</p>
<p>“Nah, we're nothing compared to your hyungs,” Jaebeom says, body shaking as he laughs, making Jooheon bounce a little. “You don't have to call me <i>aegi</i> or <i>yeobo</i>. Beomie-hyung   is fine.”</p>
<p>“Beomie-hyung, huh? That's what counts as a pet name for you, is it?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom nods, eyes disappearing as he smiles. Jooheon doesn’t comment on the fact that his hyungs have got to that stage of pet names after years of being together. Instead, he just reaches up, fingers grazing his piercing cautiously, before he nods, looking all over Jaebeom’s face with something akin to wonder flaring up in his chest. </p>
<p>“Yeah, Beomie-hyung. I’d like to be your boyfriend.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom grows a little more serious then, turning his face to nuzzle into Jooheon’s palm. “Good,” he says. “Because I’d like to be yours, too.” </p>
<p>No, really, they are cheesy. But Jooheon’s glad for them to have had that conversation, he’s glad for - all of this evening, everything about it. He laughs, feeling a little light-headed. </p>
<p>“You still want to give me a hickey?” Jaebeom asks, fondness in his voice.</p>
<p>Jooheon nods, stroking the point on Jaebeom's neck where he's already started marking up the skin. He can feel his gaze sharpening as Jaebeom leans back into the back of the sofa and tilts his head to the side, leaving himself spread out for Jooheon to do his worst. It feels dangerous.</p>
<p>It feels like if he leans in, he might never come up for air. </p>
<p>Still stroking the skin, Jooheon lets out a deep sigh, sitting back and putting some distance between their chests. He moves, hands resting on Jaebeom’s shoulders, and meets his surprised eyes. </p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>Jooheon smiles softly. “Nothing. I just think I shouldn’t. I’m turned on enough as is, if I see you with marks I’ve left on you I might lose my mind.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom looks bashful enough himself, turning his head to push his face into the cushion for a moment. “That's fair,” he says, voice muffled by the stuffing. He turns back and gestures to Jooheon's legs and then just waves his hand around generally. “These jeans are making me lose my mind. I don't know whether to send Wonho-ssi a fruit basket or punch him the next time I see him.”</p>
<p>Jooheon makes a tiny sympathetic noise. “Don’t punch him, he’ll cry. And Hyungwon-hyung will start plotting your demise. If he gets Kihyun-hyung to help, no one will ever find the body, and then <i>I’ll</i> cry.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom gives him an incredulous look, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Well, that escalated quickly.” </p>
<p>With a grin, Jooheon forces himself to move, standing up. Jaebeom’s hands slip off, and Jooheon immediately misses their warmth. “That was nothing. Just you wait ‘til you see me at my best.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom’s eyes flash. “Can’t wait.”</p>
<p>Jooheon points a finger at him and tries to look stern.  “No. Bad Beomie-hyung.”</p>
<p>With another laugh, Jaebeom holds his hands up. “Sorry, sorry.” He finally stands too, stretching in a way that makes Jooheon bite his lip and look up at the ceiling. Lord have mercy on him, he is just a man. “I’ll walk you to the door,” Jaebeom says, like he lives in some mansion that Jooheon would get lost in. </p>
<p>Still, they walk to the door together, and before he leaves, Jooheon leans up to get another kiss, fingers curled in the collar of Jaebeom’s shirt. </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Jaebeom-hyung. Thank you for dinner.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom nods, their noses brushing. “My pleasure. Don’t forget to text me later.”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs, feeling very light when he leaves Jaebeom’s apartment.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"No squatties, no hotties" is an actual thing that V's trainer used to say to her when she was cursing him out for her third set of ten...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter earns the fic its E rating!</p>
<p>Also: a very heartfelt thank you to all of our readers! We did not expect 10 kudos on this, nevermind 50! All the comments have been precious to us, so thank you all &lt;3.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s possible that Jooheon entirely forgot how enjoyable dating and getting to know someone in the early stages of forming a relationship can be, how everything feels exhilarating and heart-thumping. The few memories he does have of how his relationship with Minhyuk had begun are so tainted by how much they had hurt each other towards the end, that he’d be hard-pressed to remember anything of their early days with clarity.  </p>
<p>But this is exactly where he is, with Jaebeom. With the schedules they have, it’s difficult for them to see each other with any regularity, but it seems to make every date even more exciting. They squeeze in going for dinner between Jaebeom closing up the shop and Jooheon logging in a late session in the studio, eating ramen at a tiny convenience store by the Han. Another day, they arrange with military precision as Jooheon leaves the studio to have breakfast in the family restaurant just down the street from their officetel before Jaebeom goes to work. They see each other in passing, five minutes here and there when a cat escapes one apartment to end up in the other.  </p>
<p>Every date feels like precious time. They talk about their families and their friends and their dreams and how much of them they’ve managed to achieve. They talk about traveling and home and what it means to them. They talk about books and poetry and learning other languages.  </p>
<p>Jooheon learns some of Jaebeom’s quirks and habits; stuff like the fact that he’ll never be seen anywhere without a book, always reading as he waits, or the fact that he can unhinge his jaw like a snake to swallow a whole corndog if he so chooses. He hides behind his hands when he feels embarrassed, and he tends to hum or sing to himself when he thinks no one can hear. Jooheon’s pretty sure Jaebeom never even notices the way he tends to lean in and curl his hand around the back of Jooheon’s neck and squeeze regularly, just an affectionate little touch that makes Jooheon melt, every time.  </p>
<p>These little things that Jooheon learns about with every date, with every moment he gets to spend with Jaebeom, these are the things that make Jooheon fall deeper and deeper for Jaebeom – because there’s no denying that this is exactly what’s happening.  </p>
<p>Jooheon is introduced to the rest of Jaebeom’s friends after four weeks of this pattern of working with whatever time together they can, existing as a couple only in these snatched moments until Jooheon’s workload eases off enough that he can accompany Jaebeom to an art showing of one of his friends that Jaebeom had actually contributed something to. </p>
<p>He’s nervous, Jooheon can tell, but whether it’s about the artwork or about Jooheon, he doesn’t know for sure, he just keeps his hand tightly wrapped around Jaebeom’s as they walk into the gallery space. </p>
<p>“Um, guys?” Jaebeom says by way of greeting as they walk up to a group of people and Jooheon himself relaxes right away when he sees Jackson is among them. They pause in whatever conversation they were having and Jooheon squeezes Jaebeom’s hand when they turn to look at the two of them. “I know Jackson already knows him, but I’d like to introduce you to Jooheon-ah. My boyfriend, that is. Jooheon-ah’s my boyfriend.” </p>
<p>Jooheon smiles and gives a wave with his free hand. He can already see Jackson’s shark-like grin across the gap and he braces himself for the incoming hug when Jackson throws his arms open wide. </p>
<p>“Ahh, I knew it!” Jackson squeals into Jooheon’s ear, making him wince even as he hugs him back. “I knew you guys would be great together.” </p>
<p>“But hyung said they met because they’re neighbors,” one of the younger guys says, prodding Jackson until he lets go of Jooheon. Jooheon gives him a grateful smile. “Hi, Jooheon-ssi, I’m Yugyeom.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, but it was my idea for hyung to move there,” Jackson pouts, slapping at Yugyeom’s hands and immediately getting put in a headlock for his trouble “Hey! I’m your hyung, too!” </p>
<p>“You’re not Korean, it doesn’t count,” Yugyeom counters, using his height advantage and cackling as he continues to tease Jackson. </p>
<p>Jaebeom turns to look at Jooheon with a sigh, waving his hand as if to say, ‘see what I have to deal with?’. Jooheon hides his grin in Jaebeom’s shoulder then greets the remaining guys, Bambam and Youngjae. He’s reminded of how Shownu and Wonho treat him and the rest of their group of friends with the same mix of fondness and exasperation. </p>
<p>He keeps hold of Jaebeom’s hand while he answers the usual questions that come with meeting your boyfriend’s friends for the first time, sipping the beer that Jackson brings him once he’s freed himself from Yugyeom’s grasp. Eventually, Jaebeom drags Jooheon away from the interrogation with promises to ‘the kids’ that they can play with Jooheon again later. </p>
<p>“Sorry about them,” Jaebeom says, tugging on the ends of his hair as they walk away. </p>
<p>Jooheon just grins.  “It’s cool, they’re nice, I like them,” he says, smoothing Jaebeom’s hair back behind his ear. “Come on; show me the piece you worked on.” </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>After the art show, Jooheon finds himself added to a group chat with Jaebeom’s friends with a message from Jaebeom separately apologizing that just makes Jooheon laugh. He likes it, this feeling that Jaebeom is letting him into a place he holds sacred, with the people he trusts. It makes him want to return the favor, because while Jaebeom has met his closest friends, he’s yet to see Jooheon’s own sacred place. </p>
<p>It’s another couple of weeks before Jaebeom can take a day off but when they get there at last, Jooheon can't help but look smug as he walks through the corridors of the production company with Jaebeom in tow. Partly because he’s proud of the work he does here and he wants to show off to Jaebeom, but also because he wants to show off <i>Jaebeom</i> as well. He looks unfairly good with his hair pushed back from his forehead by his sunglasses and his leather jacket perfectly taut across his broad shoulders. Jooheon has a hard time not throwing himself at him in the elevator.  </p>
<p>When they get to his studio door, Jaebeom laughs at the pictures of Gucci and Yoshi that Jooheon has stuck in the window with their photoshopped tiaras. “That’s fucking adorable,” he says, kissing the side of Jooheon’s head and whispering. “I’ll send you a good photo of Nora so you can put her up as well.” </p>
<p>Jooheon grins, feeling all warm inside, and inputs his keycode, unlocking the door. </p>
<p>“Okay, close your eyes,” he tells Jaebeom, waiting for him to cover them with his hands.  “Ta da!” </p>
<p>He says it in an amused tone because he’s not fooling himself - the studio is very standard. It’s small, just a combo of the producing room and the recording booth, with barely enough space in the producing room for a couch and a shelf around the massive mixing table. Still, when Jaebeom opens his eyes, he lets out an impressed little noise, stepping inside to look around. Jooheon closes the door behind them, watching Jaebeom take in the plushies on the shelf and the Marvel figurines, smiling a little, before he casts his eyes on the mixing desk.  </p>
<p>“You use all that?”  </p>
<p>“And more. Most of the work happens on the computer, these days,” Jooheon says, sitting down in his chair and wiggling his mouse to wake up the screen.  “We do record live sometimes but it depends on the track, Mr Purist Who Owns A Vintage Record Store.”  </p>
<p>“I didn’t say anything,” Jaebeom says, smirking, then sits down on the couch.  He crosses one leg over the other and props his chin in his hand as he looks back at Jooheon. “Play me something?” </p>
<p>Jooheon thinks for a moment then brings up an instrumental track that has the lo-fi feel that he knows Jaebeom likes and hits play. He watches Jaebeom’s reaction closely and puffs out his chest when Jaebeom starts nodding along and tapping his fingers on the arm of the couch, just as Jooheon had hoped. </p>
<p>“It’s not finished yet, but I like it,” Jooheon says, happy that Jaebeom does too. “It’s for an idol group I’m going to work with next month.” </p>
<p>“That’s cool,” Jaebeom says, getting up again and coming over to stand between Jooheon’s knees. Jooheon puts his arms around Jaebeom’s waist and looks up at him, waiting to see if Jaebeom is going to say anything further but all he gets is a loud rumbling right next to his ear.   </p>
<p>“We can eat here, if you’re too hungry to wait until we get to the river,” Jooheon says, patting Jaebeom’s stomach. “Then we can leave the chiller here when we’re done and go for a walk?” </p>
<p>“Sure,” Jaebeom says, bending to place a kiss on Jooheon’s forehead. “That sounds good.”  He pulls away from the circle of Jooheon’s arms and starts shrugging out of his jacket. </p>
<p>Every time they see each other, now, every new moment they get to have, Jooheon feels more and more like Jaebeom is pushing at the boundaries they’ve established, and Jooheon might be losing his mind, a little bit because fuck, Jooheon thinks, that shirt is almost sheer. </p>
<p>“Nipples,” he blurts out, mouth working independently of his brain which is currently just screaming wordlessly at him.  “I mean – your nipples.” </p>
<p>“My nipples?” </p>
<p>With his jacket gone, Jooheon can see them clearly through the otherwise plain white button-down shirt Jaebeom is wearing, not just because Jooheon keeps the air in here nice and cool so they’re hard, but because they’re <i>pierced</i>.  </p>
<p>“They’re pierced?” he says, clearing his throat when it comes out strained.  In all the times they’ve made out since they got together, how has Jooheon failed to notice this? “How did I...? When…?” He can feel his eyes bugging out of his head, mouth parted gormlessly. </p>
<p>Jaebeom looks down at himself and makes a noise. “Oh. Yeah. I had them done a few years ago.” He looks back up at Jooheon through his eyelashes, chin still tipped down towards his chest. </p>
<p>“Fuck,” Jooheon says softly, but with feeling. He swallows hard and rubs both hands over his face. When he takes them away, he can see that Jaebeom is about to say something, a little devious smile on his face. Jooheon continues first, looking straight at Jaebeom. “Are you doing this on purpose?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom blinks. “Am I doing what on purpose?” </p>
<p>Jooheon purses his lips, thumb rubbing at his chin for a second as he gathers his words, puts his thoughts in a row. He guesses now is as good a time as any to be having this discussion. He’d rather be home and not in his workplace, but at least, they’re in private.  </p>
<p>“Lately, you’ve been more... Flirty. It feels like you’ve been trying to push my buttons, but since we haven’t talked about it, I’m just wondering if you’re doing it on purpose, or if it’s just you, getting more comfortable around me. Which is awesome, but if it also involves practically see-through shirts, I may need a defibrillator handy.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom leans back into the couch, Jooheon’s eyes flicking down to his chest without his brain having any say in that. His mouth feels dry, his head full of images of what Jaebeom looks like, without his shirt on, how much he wants to touch him.  </p>
<p>God, this not having sex thing is really starting to make him <i>think</i> about sex all the time.  </p>
<p>“I <i>am</i> comfortable around you, Jooheonie. Definitely. But I might – I might have worn this on purpose, yes. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I feel like we’ve waited long enough, haven’t we? If you want me to back off, though -” </p>
<p>“No!” Jooheon immediately exclaims, heart hammering in his throat. It makes Jaebeom chuckle, running a hand through his hair. Jooheon takes a breath, forcing himself to talk in a measured tone next. “I don’t want you to back off. I definitely, <i>definitely</i> agree.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom grins, licking his lips. “Okay. Good. Glad we agree. Of course, we can’t do anything about it now, since we’re at your work and everything, but. It’s good to know we’re on the same page.” </p>
<p>Jooheon’s gaze goes hazy, his cheeks flushing. It’s a lot of effort for him to force himself to think of something else, but he manages, breathing deep and slow.  </p>
<p>“Hey,” he asks, a sudden idea coming to him as he tries to think of something to change his mind so that he doesn’t just lock the door and rip Jaebeom’s clothes off him right here and now, workplace or not. “You want to sing for me when we’ve finished eating?” </p>
<p>“Sing for you?” </p>
<p>“I know you can, I've heard you when you're cooking or cleaning up. You sing to Nora,” Jooheon says, smiling as he lifts his head and looks at Jaebeom. </p>
<p>Jaebeom blinks at him, surprised. He obviously had no clue that Jooheon had heard him. The owlish look on his face is terribly cute, and Jooheon straightens up in his chair, pushing into Jaebeom’s hands.  </p>
<p>“I -” he’s blushing a little, but Jooheon turns on the pout, giving him his puppy eyes, bottom lip jutting out.  </p>
<p>“Please? You can sing whatever you want.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom wrinkles his nose as he starts unpacking their food onto the low table by the couch. “I can only think of cheesy songs.”  </p>
<p>Jooheon schools his expression into seriousness again. “Music’s not cheesy, Beomie-hyung,” he says with conviction. “What is it?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom sighs, but nods, looking a little embarrassed. “Okay, fine. Hm. <i>Untitled</i>? By D’Angelo?” </p>
<p>Jooheon nods, even though he’s quite surprised by the choice. He expected a well-known Korean artist, not a neo-soul American one. “Yeah, I know it. Let me pull up an instrumental. Go on in,” he ushers, a grin on his lips, gesturing for Jaebeom to get inside the booth. Then, he motions for him to put on the headphones, leaving one ear free so they can speak to each other. Jaebeom looks good behind the microphone, the dim lights accentuating the angles of his face. Jooheon bites his lip, before pressing on the loudspeaker button.  </p>
<p>“Okay, you ready?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom nods, blowing out a breath that Jooheon can hear through the mic. He hits play and the intro starts, and initially Jooheon's attention is only on fixing the levels and making sure it's recording, the things that come automatically to him now, until Jaebeom starts singing and <i>oh</i>. </p>
<p>He’s heard Jaebeom sing before, sure, but it’s different to hear it like this, filling up Jooheon’s production studio. Jaebeom keeps his voice in his low register, keeps it breathy, the lyrics heavy on his tongue; Jooheon’s enthralled. He’s heard the song before, too, but he’s never paid much attention, and now he wishes he had, because Jaebeom sounds like sex is dripping from every word leaving his mouth, and it makes Jooheon breathless. He watches Jaebeom close his eyes to sing a line before opening them again quickly, reading the lyrics on his phone. He looks… good, in there. He looks like a natural. </p>
<p>Jooheon swallows hard as he watches, but Jaebeom doesn’t look back until the song is over and his expression shifts to shyness when he meets Jooheon’s eyes through the glass.  </p>
<p>“Was I okay?” </p>
<p>Jooheon opens and closes his mouth a few times, not caring if he looks like a fish drowning on land.  He turns back to the monitors for a moment, then swivels to face Jaebeom again, lips still parted. </p>
<p>“Honey-yah?” Jaebeom is slipping the headphones off again, moving to open the door and come back to the mixing room. </p>
<p>“No!” Jooheon shouts, louder than he meant to, holding a hand out towards Jaebeom. “I mean, no, stay there, don't come out yet. Sing something else.” </p>
<p>He sounds more pleading than he means to, but he really wants a little more of this. Just a little more of Jaebeom’s deep honeyed tones, of the sight of him focusing on the song, the way he embodies the words, eyes closing tight as he sings the harder, more emotional notes. Jooheon wants more of that, of the pure emotion that Jaebeom poured into it – something even the best of idols he works with sometimes lacks. Jaebeom sighs, but he doesn’t sound like he’s annoyed. Especially when he looks at Jooheon again, there’s a warmth there, that runs through Jooheon’s whole body, makes him even more aware of how he feels so electrified right now.  </p>
<p>“Okay, fine. Put on Crush’s <i>Beautiful</i>, then,” Jaebeom says through the mic, and Jooheon draws a deep breath, before nodding sharply. He finds the instrumental easily, queueing it up, adjusting levels for a moment as it starts.  </p>
<p>Jooheon closes his eyes as Jaebeom sings, letting it wash over him, falling deeper and deeper into the sound of his voice. It tugs at something in his gut, makes him grip at the edge of the desk, take a deep breath. </p>
<p>He wonders if he could convince Jaebeom to do some vocals for Changkyun or one of his other artists. Hell, maybe he could get him to re-record some of the tracks from Jooheon's mixtape, release it under a pseudonym. His mind is racing with possibilities.  </p>
<p>The song isn’t even finished that he steps into the recording booth, quietly closing the door behind him. Jaebeom stops singing, surprised, and looks at Jooheon over the mic, looking uncertain.  </p>
<p>“Is everything okay?” He asks, whispering away from the microphone, and Jooheon nods. He feels all swirly inside, in a good way. This is – all of this is sacred to him, and Jaebeom had carefully cradled it into his hands, into his heart, pouring it out through song to Jooheon, without reservation. It feels so <i>special</i> to Jooheon, he can’t help but step closer. Carefully, he takes the headphones off Jaebeom, and cradles his face in his hands instead.  </p>
<p>“You’re so good,” Jooheon says softly, in awe. He means it, just like he’s meant everything he said about Jaebeom in the past. It reminds him of that night, when he was drunk and he told Jaebeom he likes him. When he talked about writing songs about him. “You should sing all the songs I’m going to write about you.”  </p>
<p>Jooheon feels the deepest sense of gratification, when Jaebeom blushes at his words. He nods, moving to kiss Jooheon, his mouth so soft against Jooheon’s, the tips of their noses brushing each other. “I don’t mean to spoil the mood, but I’m really hungry now, Jooheonie.” </p>
<p>Jooheon smiles and drops his hands from Jaebeom’s face and reaches behind him to open the door again. “Come on, let’s eat.” </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>“Alright, drink up, and then spill,” Jackson says in an authoritative voice, motioning for the glasses of soju in front of himself and Jooheon. The hole in the wall tiny restaurant they’ve found serves ramen and alcohol and not much else, and so they’ve gone with both.  </p>
<p>Jooheon and Jackson have even worse schedules than Jooheon and Jaebeom, when it comes to try and finding time to spend together. But ever since they met on the set of a music video, back when Jooheon was still very green and got a featuring spot with Mad Clown, he and Jackson had always given each other time. It’d been an instant friendship, the two of them bickering constantly, but also finding each other in agreement in most aspects of life – the way they dedicate themselves to their passions, and to their loved ones, is entirely similar.  </p>
<p>So now, years later, they keep on trying to make time for each other as often as possible.  </p>
<p>“Spill? Spill what?” </p>
<p>Jackson gives Jooheon a look. They both knock their shot, both of them smacking their lips loudly. “You look like you’ve just swallowed a lemon. All sour and shit. And that was <i>before</i> the alcohol.”  </p>
<p>“It's nothing, don't worry about it,” Jooheon says, although he can feel his mouth forming a pout already. God damn it, why doesn't he have more control over his facial expressions by now.  He's a grown man! </p>
<p>Jackson gives him another look.  Pretty soon his eyebrows are going to fuse together with the force of it.  “I know you're lying.” </p>
<p>Jooheon sighs, playing with his soju glass. “It’s just – Jaebeom-hyung -” </p>
<p>Jackson gasps, putting a hand to his heart. “Don’t tell me you’re breaking up already!” </p>
<p>Jooheon rolls his eyes at the dramatics – that's usually his thing, but Jackson still manages to be so much worse than he is, sometimes. </p>
<p>“We’re not breaking up,” Jooheon replies, pouring them another drink. Jackson leans closer over the table. </p>
<p>“So what’s the issue with dating JB-hyung?” </p>
<p>Jooheon takes his shot, and then clenches his jaw, the alcohol going down smooth. “There’s no issue with dating him. He’s - so good. The problem is the fact that my life is cockblocking me,” he says matter-of-factly, barely resisting to pout. </p>
<p>Jackson looks at him for a second then bursts out laughing. </p>
<p>“What's so funny about that?” Jooheon does pout now, folding his arms across his chest. “It’s not fair! We never have any time!” </p>
<p>“Seriously, your problem is that you’re not managing to get laid?” </p>
<p>“This is why I never tell you things!” </p>
<p>“Oh, come on,” Jackson says between giggles. “Lighten up, bro! Hyung's not going anywhere, he's fucking smitten.” </p>
<p>Jooheon’s pout fades a little at that, finding himself struggling not to smile at the comment as it spreads warmth through his body just like the alcohol. He pours them another drink as he chooses his next words carefully, not wanting to give Jackson <i>too</i> much ammunition for the next time he sees Jaebeom. “I’m not worried about that, but it doesn’t change the fact that my life, our lives, are actively working against us.” </p>
<p>“Then find a way for it to be impossible to be interrupted,” Jackson says, holding his glass in two fingers. </p>
<p>Jooheon wrinkles his nose.  “I'm not taking him to one of those places where you pay by the hour.” </p>
<p>“That's not what I meant,” Jackson says, rolling his eyes. He waves his hand around as he speaks. “Take him away somewhere. It's not like you can't afford it, Mr. Moneybags Producer.” </p>
<p>“I don't have time to go on vacation right now, though,” Jooheon says. He knocks back his shot and looks into the empty glass as if he can find the answers in the soju drops that remain. “I've got two big deadlines coming up, plus the awards thing.” </p>
<p>Jackson slams his hand down on the table, startling Jooheon, who jumps and puts a hand to his heart, immediately pushing back. But Jackson just looks excited, eyes bright under the low lights. “That’s it!” </p>
<p>“What’s it? Jackson, you know you can’t do that, you’ll give me a heart attack!” </p>
<p>“The awards show! You’re getting put up in a nice hotel, aren’t you? So take him with you!” </p>
<p>Jooheon sucks on his bottom lip in thought. He was recently asked to attend an awards show, after receiving a nomination for his producing work. He was obviously going, but he’d planned on going solo, as usual. It’s the safe path to take.  </p>
<p>A vision of Jaebeom in a sleek suit with his hair styled and make up done swims in front of his eyes; it makes Jooheon shiver. Would Jaebeom want to go, though? Would it be a good idea to go together? Jooheon isn't exactly in the closet, but as open as he might be within his company and as accepting as they are, it's a televised event. </p>
<p>“I can hear how hard you're thinking from here,” Jackson says. He sits back as the server brings their ramen. He grabs his chopsticks and dives in, slurping a mouthful and speaking around the noodles in his mouth when he adds, “You don't have to parade down the red carpet with him as arm candy, just get him to meet you later on, then fuck the night away.” </p>
<p>“How is that any better than a place by the hour? I'm just meeting him for sex under a different pretext,” Jooheon says unhappily, prodding at his noodles, his appetite leaving him. </p>
<p>Jackson looks thoughtful as he chews, washing down his noodles with another sip of soju.  Then he snaps his fingers and points at Jooheon. “Have him come with the rest of your company. Man, I'm a genius.” </p>
<p>Jooheon keeps considering, twirling the noodles in the small copper pot. There will be people with him at the event, other producers, managers, company people that are behind the scenes like he is, not exactly famous, but nominated anyway. If Jaebeom came with him to the event, it would be a proper date, even if they don’t walk the red carpet together.  </p>
<p>His lips part as he thinks about it all. The company always offers a hotel room for the night of the awards, just in case. Jooheon, in past years, had either not been invited, or not needed it, preferring to spend the night at home. But this could be perfect. A star-studded night, entertainment, playing dress-up, and then a fancy hotel?  </p>
<p>“Huh. Maybe you <i>are</i> a genius.” </p>
<p>Jackson makes an unbearably smug face and spreads his arms wide, immediately shrinking back into himself and apologizing profusely to the waitress he hits in the leg as he does so.  “Sorry, noona, sorry!” </p>
<p>Jooheon shakes his head with a sigh. </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>It’s possible that Jooheon’s a little nervous when he walks into Jaebeom’s store, and for a multitude of reasons. Mainly: he’s worried that Jaebeom’s not going to want to come to the awards show. He’s also worried that Jinyoung’s going to be here and make things awkward. </p>
<p>He’s decided to show up at almost closing time, guessing there will be less people then, and maybe he and Jaebeom can make their way home together afterwards. After stepping in, the little bell above the door jingling, he can’t help but look around a bit, fingers flicking over the vinyls in a random box, pulling out an Otis Redding recording he’d never heard of before with interest.  </p>
<p>“Honey-yah?” he hears from his side, and he whirls around, grinning as Jaebeom makes his way to him. </p>
<p>“Hi, Beomie-hyung.” Jooheon waves with the vinyl, chest warming up at the sight of Jaebeom’s responding smile.   </p>
<p>Jaebeom reaches out for him when he gets close enough, engulfing Jooheon in his scent as he hugs him and presses a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “This is a nice surprise,” he says, keeping his arm around Jooheon's waist as they walk towards the counter. </p>
<p>“Well, I thought I could walk you home,” Jooheon says. He puts the record down and turns to put his own arms around Jaebeom's waist, linking his fingers at the small of Jaebeom's back.  “And I wanted to ask you something.”  </p>
<p>His heart is pounding as Jaebeom quirks an eyebrow and looks at him quizzically. “Ask me something?” </p>
<p>“Mmhmm,” Jooheon hums. Maybe this wasn’t the best place to ask, Jaebeom’s place of work, when Jinyoung could interrupt them at any moment. Maybe he should have done this at home, in private. But here he is. “You see, there’s this industry heavy awards show happening soon - nothing as big as the MAMAs or SMAs, but still kinda important?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom nods, his eyes growing a little wider. “Yeah, I heard about it.” </p>
<p>“I’m nominated for an award,” Jooheon says quickly, flushing as he looks down at his fingers tightening in Jaebeom’s hoodie. “And I wondered if you’d like tocomewithme,” he says the end in a rush, words sticking together as he pushes them out as quickly as possible. </p>
<p>“You got nominated? That's great!” Jaebeom kisses him quickly then pulls back, like he’s just processed what Jooheon asked.  “Wait - come with you?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, I mean, I'd - I'd like it if you did,” Jooheon can't hide the nerves in his voice. “But only if you want to, hyung.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom takes a moment to reply, enough time that Jooheon is almost at the point of saying <i>sike!</i> and trying to change the subject, but before he can backtrack, Jaebeom presses forward gently, Jooheon’s back hitting the counter.  </p>
<p>“If you want me there, then I want to be there. I’d love to come with you. Are you sure we - can?”  </p>
<p>Jooheon nods, biting his lip. It’s no surprise that Jaebeom would have the same concerns Jooheon had himself. “I’ll have to walk the red carpet, but we can meet after for the ceremony. There’ll be dinner, too. And entertainment.”  </p>
<p>“Red carpet? That means you'll be all dressed up,” Jaebeom says, his smile turning into a dirty looking smirk. </p>
<p>Jooheon grins, leaning up so that their noses brush. “You’ll have to be, too. It’s a strictly black-tie event.” And god, does he want to see it. He runs his hands up along Jaebeom’s chest, stopping at his shoulders. “I don’t know if I should tell you the best part, or if I should keep it as a surprise.” </p>
<p>“There's something better than seeing you in a suit?” Jaebeom says, blinking hard. </p>
<p>Never mind keeping it a surprise. “We get an all-paid expenses night in a hotel. So... I mean, if you want to stay…” </p>
<p>Jaebeom's eyes widen and darken at the same time, making him look like a little like a surprised owl. He clears his throat once, then again, but still sounds a little strangled when he replies. “Well, that's definitely, uh, that's, yes, I do want.” </p>
<p>They’re so close, it’d be impossible for Jooheon not to kiss Jaebeom, after that answer. He smiles into the plush feeling of Jaebeom’s lips, hands sliding around his neck, but he doesn’t even have time to fully appreciate it when there’s a soft cough behind him. </p>
<p>“You know, this is still a public place,” a voice says. “And your place of employment, Jaebeom-ah.”  </p>
<p>Jooheon pulls back, blushing fiercely at having been caught pretty much red-handed. He rubs a hand over the back of his neck, looking at their feet before a hand reaches out and Jooheon’s head snaps up. Jinyoung is on the other side of the counter, looking sort of amused at having interrupted them, if Jooheon would venture a guess.  </p>
<p>“Are you buying this?” Jinyoung asks, picking the vinyl Jooheon found earlier up. </p>
<p>Jooheon hides his face in Jaebeom's chest on instinct (and because he smells so good).  “Yes, please,” he says, muffled by Jaebeom's shirt. </p>
<p>“It's past closing, no one's here,” Jaebeom says. </p>
<p>Jinyoung hums noncommittally, all the while ringing up the vinyl. Jooheon forces himself to fully turn around, Jaebeom’s arms staying around him, though - and that? That makes him feel much, much better, because Jaebeom looks happy and proud to have Jooheon in his arms, and that makes Jooheon feel - <i>good</i>. Just good. He pays quietly, and thanks Jinyoung, who sighs but then smirks, looking over Jooheon’s head at Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Just go. I’ll close up,” Jinyoung says, surprisingly gently – or maybe it’s not that surprising. Jooheon’s just in his own head. </p>
<p>“I’ll open tomorrow, then. Thanks, Jinyoungie.” </p>
<p>Jinyoung waves him off with one hand. Jooheon feels like his face is burning. Jaebeom presses a kiss to the side of his face and murmurs, “I'll just get my jacket,” before leaving Jooheon alone with Jinyoung. </p>
<p>And isn’t that something he doesn’t really want to be. He scratches his throat awkwardly, taking the bag left on the counter, and picks at the corner of it.  </p>
<p>“You know, if you hurt him, I’ll have to come after you,” Jinyoung says, his tone level, like they’re just talking about the weather. Jooheon swallows, looking up. He can explain why Jinyoung is so intimidating, easily, but he dislikes thinking about it. It’s simply because he’s Jaebeom’s best friend, because he knows him - inside and out, intimately. He knows that Jinyoung gets to him without having to do anything just because Jooheon feels like there’s an unspoken competition between them, Jooheon wanting to be more important to Jaebeom than Jinyoung is. Will he ever be more important to Jaebeom? Will he ever have more of a life with Jooheon, that his past with Jinyoung doesn’t matter anymore?  </p>
<p>Jooheon has no idea about any of it, but he knows that it’s why Jinyoung constantly makes him nervous, like he could snatch Jaebeom away from him at any second, just by virtue of knowing him better, having more history with him. It makes Jooheon jealous, too, to know he’s got so much to catch up on, still, with Jaebeom. But he’s looking forward to it. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, Jooheon has friends that’d say the same thing to Jaebeom that Jinyoung just told him. He gets it. He nods, looking straight at Jinyoung.  </p>
<p>“If I do, then I’ll probably let you.” Jooheon’s not exactly self-sacrificial, but he can’t imagine doing anything to hurt Jaebeom, and not feeling truly horrible about it himself. Right now, even just the <i>idea</i> of hurting Jaebeom makes him want to wither inside. </p>
<p>Jinyoung nods, more to himself than at Jooheon. “I'm glad we agree.” </p>
<p>Jooheon is glad that Jaebeom comes back quickly, still in the process of shrugging his leather jacket over his shoulders. He's put a beanie on and his hair is curling out from underneath it and Jooheon wants to swoon at the sight. </p>
<p>“I hope you were nice to him, Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebeom says, taking Jooheon's hand once he's alongside him. </p>
<p>“I’m always nice,” Jinyoung replies, smiling in a way that digs grooves around his eyes, making him look so much nicer, so much more attainable. Incredible, what a smile can do.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom gives him a doubtful look, but he seems unwilling to fight it. “Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jinyoungie. Let’s go?” He asks, turning to Jooheon. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jooheon replies softly, following him through the shop. He doesn’t breathe easier until they’ve stepped out – not really because of Jinyoung, but because of – everything. Asking Jaebeom to come with him to the awards ceremony feels like a huge step, and he doesn’t mean it because they might finally get to have sex. But more than that, pulling Jaebeom into the part of his life that’s more public is a very scary thing to do, but Jooheon’s determined. Jooheon wants Jaebeom there, with him.   </p>
<p>;; </p>
<p>“Gucci, baby, how many times does Appa need to say not to sleep on Appa's nice trousers?” Jooheon whines while frantically lint-rolling his legs in the entranceway of the apartment. Jaebeom is going to knock at the door any moment and Jooheon only realized when he was putting on his boots that he was covered in fur from the knees down. </p>
<p>Kihyun tsks from the kitchen, hurrying over. “You’re doing it wrong,” he says irritatingly, taking the lint roller from Jooheon and running it over his pant leg, crouched between Jooheon and the front door. “You can’t go back and forth, that’s not helping.” </p>
<p>That’s when the doorbell goes. Jooheon curses, leaning over Kihyun’s head to open the door, looking like a fool in his nice clothes, Gucci sitting primly on top of the shoe rack, and Kihyun scolding him from the floor.  </p>
<p>But let’s be honest. Everything flies right out of his head when he sees Jaebeom on the other side of the door. He’s wearing a dark red pinstripe three-piece suit, tailored to perfection, over a black, silky looking shirt, and Jooheon’s mouth goes dry. </p>
<p>“Hi,” Jaebeom says, even though he seems a bit out of it, too, as he looks Jooheon up and down. Jooheon can’t blame him, he knows this jacket looks good on him, especially when paired with this black turtleneck. On his other side, Kihyun stands up.  </p>
<p>“Okay, you’re good,” he says, then looks around Jooheon, a distinct smirk in his voice. “Oh, hi, Jaebeom-ah. You look nice. Doesn’t Jooheonie look nice, too?” </p>
<p>“Uh,” Jaebeom says in a breathy tone. “Very. Very nice. Fuck.” </p>
<p>“Save that for the hotel,” Kihyun says, because he lives to embarrass Jooheon. Jooheon fears for his and Shownu's future children. </p>
<p>Jaebeom's cheeks flush pink as he hands over the carrier with Nora inside to Kihyun. “Thanks for babysitting, hyung.” </p>
<p>“Of course.” </p>
<p>He takes her carefully as Jooheon gathers his overnight bag and leans over to give Gucci a kiss. Yoshi appears as well, and he kisses her too before he’s straightening up, looking at them both in turn. “You behave for Kihyun-samchon, okay?” </p>
<p>Kihyun laughs and pushes him out of the door, practically into Jaebeom’s waiting arms. “Have fun, stay safe, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” he says as he closes the door, and Jooheon snorts as he looks at Jaebeom.  </p>
<p>“I think by that he means ‘don’t skip the actual awards ceremony’,” he says softly, hands coming up to the lapels of Jaebeom’s jacket, touching him just to make sure he’s real. Jooheon’s stomach is doing acrobatics like it’s their first date and he can’t help his goofy smile as he looks up into Jaebeom’s eyes. “Hi.” </p>
<p>“Hi,” Jaebeom rasps, slipping his hands under Jooheon's jacket to hold his waist. “You look hot.  I knew you would but actually seeing it…” His hands squeeze Jooheon’s sides as he rests his forehead against Jooheon’s.  “I can’t even -” </p>
<p>“Kiss me,” Jooheon interrupts, already moving to press his lips to Jaebeom's. It’s probably a little too heated for the corridor outside their apartments, but that thought is fleeting as Jooheon opens his mouth to Jaebeom and slides his hands from Jaebeom’s lapels to link his fingers at the back of Jaebeom’s neck. </p>
<p>He’d honestly very willingly skip the awards to just stay in Jaebeom’s arms all night, make the absolute most of having a night where they can be assured they will not be bothered, but he knows himself. He actually cares about this, he cares that he might win, he cares about being able to show Jaebeom this, for him to get to attend, so he pulls back from the kiss, reluctantly, breathing in the crisp smell of Jaebeom’s cologne. “You look hot too, by the way.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom looks a little surprised as he laughs, guiding Jooheon towards the elevators. “Yeah? I don’t know that much about suits, Bambam-ah works in fashion, though. He helped me out.”  </p>
<p>“He did an excellent job,” Jooheon says as they go down to the lobby. “I might send him a fruit basket.” </p>
<p>“He really prefers ramen,” Jaebeom replies in a teasing tone, and some of the tension bleeds out from their bodies as they laugh together, but Jooheon still feels the electricity in the air between them as they ride to the venue.  </p>
<p>It doesn’t take them long to find the rest of the staff and producers from Jooheon’s company once they arrive, and Jooheon is glad he works with such a good group of people as he introduces Jaebeom as his boyfriend to all of them. He can’t help but preen at the compliments and congratulations they get in response. </p>
<p>“They seem nice,” Jaebeom whispers to him when they step to one side and Jooheon’s not surprised that Jaebeom is already reaching to snatch a couple of canapes from one of the trays going around. </p>
<p>“They’re good people,” Jooheon replies, smiling and waving at a few of the other industry people he knows across the room.  “Better than most.” </p>
<p>“I’m glad,” Jaebeom says around his mouthful and Jooheon’s heart clenches. </p>
<p>“Jooheon-ssi?” he hears from behind him, turning to see one of the PA interns waiting with a clipboard, which must mean he’s expected on the red carpet soon. </p>
<p>“I have to go,” Jooheon says to Jaebeom regretfully.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom nods, smiling big and bright. “I’ll be waiting for you inside, okay? Go, enjoy your moment.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom squeezes his upper arm then let's his hand drift down to brush his fingers over Jooheon's before stepping away and following the other company members towards the “commoners' entrance” as they'd jokingly described it in the car on the way to the venue. Jooheon let's his gaze linger on Jaebeom’s back for a moment then heads off the way he's supposed to be going. </p>
<p>He's been to a couple of these types of things before but it's still a little overwhelming to have hundreds of flashes going off as he walks down the red carpet. </p>
<p>It’s not that he hates it, exactly, but it’s definitely not a comfortable moment; his turtleneck might be made of thin material, but he still feels himself sweat a little as he waves and bows as an MC introduces him. It’s over in seconds, thankfully, and he walks right off of the red carpet with a deliberate, slow breath, feeling another layer of tension leaving his body when that part is done. </p>
<p>Now, it’s just about getting through the ceremony, most probably losing in his nominated category, and doing so gracefully. At least, he’s got Jaebeom with him.  </p>
<p>The PA helps him to the ceremony floor, and he finds his seat easily, barely able to take his eyes off of Jaebeom. He feels like a beacon, calling Jooheon to him, and Jooheon puts a discreet hand to his shoulder in greeting just before he sits, leaning close. </p>
<p>“You have no idea how good you look,” he whispers in Jaebeom’s ear, not worried about being heard considering the low buzz of conversations going on all around them, as people chat, waiting for the ceremony to start.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles, raises an eyebrow. “How was it?” </p>
<p>“Bearable,” Jooheon says, looking at how relaxed Jaebeom seems. He's already been given a glass of what looks to be champagne, sitting back in his chair as he rests his arm on the back of Jooheon's chair, making it look so casual. But Jooheon can feel the way his thumb is stroking up and down his shoulderblade through his suit jacket. </p>
<p>“Can't believe my boyfriend is such a showbiz star,” Jaebeom says quietly, smirking. “Wait til I tell all the girls at school.” </p>
<p>Jooheon snorts, smacking Jaebeom’s chest lightly, but also lingering there for a second, just to make the most of it. “Didn’t take you for such a gossip,” he says, before grinning, all genuine and warm. “And I’m not any kind of star. Wait until the idols make it here and the place explodes.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom looks around at the rest of the venue, slowly being filled up with the audience. His eyes are big and wondering. “I’ve always wondered what it’s like.”  </p>
<p>“Loud,” Jooheon replies, grin still in place. “Kind of exhilarating.” </p>
<p>“Can't wait.” Jaebeom's eyes flash with something that sends heat through Jooheon's body, leaving his fingers and toes tingling.  </p>
<p>The show happens around them, but Jooheon feels a tiny bit disconnected; nerves buzzing under his skin from his nomination, and how he plans on celebrating it later - win or lose. He’s definitely feeling some mounting anxiety as the night advances, and Jaebeom must sense it, as he settles a hand down on Jooheon’s thigh under the table they’re sitting at, and doesn’t move it until a K-pop act is announced and they both get into the song, clapping and singing along and laughing with each other. It calms Jooheon’s nerves a little, just enjoying the night.  </p>
<p>Until they announce his category, of course. Jooheon draws in a sharp breath, as his table turns to him, giving him smiles and clasping his shoulder encouragingly. </p>
<p>He startles a little at the cheer from the audience when he's listed as one of the nominees, looking around at the other tables and the fans sitting in the other seats around the arena. He's always been proud of his work, but he hasn't really thought about what anyone outside of his artists and his company feel or think. </p>
<p>It's almost an out of body experience when he hears his name being announced as the winner, his face showing on the large screens either side of the stage, looking comical in his surprise. He looks at his coworkers around him standing up, clapping for him, cheering, and then he looks at Jaebeom, who’s also standing up, grinning. Jooheon’s mind slams back into his body and it’s like he’s drowning in the sound, mouth open in shock, eyes wide, and he stands too, trembling slightly as he hugs Jaebeom, not caring about cameras right now.  </p>
<p>He barely manages to get his composure on the walk to the stage, feeling completely overwhelmed even as he accepts the award, bows deeply to the presenter, and gets shown to the mic. The lights, the sounds - all of it is too much and incredible all at once, because, he won. He won an award. For his work.  </p>
<p>He starts off by thanking fans, the artists he’s been working with, along with the company, his coworkers and everyone that’s helped him achieve his dreams. Then it’s to his friends, his hyungs, his second family, for their unconditional support through everything. And then: </p>
<p>“Lastly, I’d also like to thank all my muses -– firstly, Yoshi, Gucci, and Nora,” he says with a smile, pausing for a moment and looking over towards his table, even though he’s too far away for his bad eyesight to be able to focus on anything. He can imagine Jaebeom’s look of surprise at hearing Nora’s name and his heart starts thundering in his chest as he continues speaking. “But most importantly, JB. You’ve – you’ve made creating music easy, so, thank you!”  </p>
<p>And with that he’s done, holding the award up as he bows to the crowd, before being ushered backstage, his heart trying to break clean out of his ribcage. </p>
<p>He keeps looking down at the award in his hand in disbelief. He can feel his phone going off in his pocket, probably with text messages from his hyungs, but he can't look at them right now. He sits in the backstage area for a moment, drinks a glass of champagne that's handed to him, gives an interview that he doesn't remember a word of, and then he's handing off the award to Siwon, his PA, who gives him a big smile and two thumbs up, then sends him back out to join the main table. </p>
<p>Jaebeom’s eyes are sparkling bright under the lights when Jooheon comes back, and he wants nothing more than to press close and curl up right into Jaebeom, soak up his attention and praise and comfort, but he still has to behave, there’s still a few hours of this show, and they can’t skip out early without seeming very obvious.  </p>
<p>Still, Jaebeom grabs his hand under the table, squeezes tight, and Jooheon holds on right back, pretty sure he still looks a little wild in the eyes, a little bewildered. He doesn’t really register most of what happens after, thinking that he’s won an award, he’s been recognized by his peers, he’s here and he’s doing something and his heart has not quietened down at all.  </p>
<p>In fact, it might still be beating the fastest it ever has when they reach the end of the awards ceremony, everybody standing up to clap and cheer and congratulate the artists on stage, as well as the winners. Jooheon wants to slip away quickly, but it’s tough, apparently, when you’ve won. </p>
<p>He understands, now, why they offer the hotel stay as part of it, because it's so late it's early morning by the time he and Jaebeom can say goodbye to the rest of the people from Jooheon's company and collapse into the back seat of a cab. </p>
<p>“Oh, shit, where's my bag?” Jooheon asks, sitting up and looking behind him at the venue disappearing in the background. </p>
<p>“Relax, I gave them to your PA and she had them sent on to the hotel already,” Jaebeom says, running his hand down Jooheon's spine, letting it rest at the base just above his butt. Jooheon relaxes back into the seat, effectively trapping Jaebeom’s hand in place, but he doesn’t look like he’s got any desire to move it anyway.  </p>
<p>It’s a short drive, especially at this time of night; the streets are mainly empty, traffic almost nonexistent, and once they arrive, Jooheon feels a little wobbly, apparently still a little overwhelmed. The hotel is nice - not overtly grandiose, but. Nice. More than adequate. He lets Jaebeom take the lead in getting their room key, anticipation rising in his chest as they ride the elevator.  </p>
<p>There’s a part of him that feels exhausted, wanting nothing more than to melt into a bed after being hounded by photographers and questions and stage lights. But there’s the other part of him, the part of him that’s waited for what feel like <i>months</i> for this opportunity, the part of him that’s so hungry for Jaebeom he can feel his mouth water just looking at him in his sharp suit.  </p>
<p>He’s pretty sure that part is going to win out. </p>
<p>“Is the minibar included, Honey-yah?” Jaebeom says, already bending down to open the door and look inside. “Or can I order room service?” </p>
<p>“Why not both?” Jooheon says as he makes his way to the bathroom to use the toilet and wash his face. He's halfway through taking his make-up off when Jaebeom comes to stand in the doorway, jacket and tie gone, but still wearing the waistcoat. Jooheon’s breath catches at the way it frames Jaebeom’s body on either side, hanging open, but he keeps cool, looking at Jaebeom through the mirror, seeing that he’s looking right back. </p>
<p>“You hungry?” Jooheon asks, referring to the room service mention that Jaebeom made. </p>
<p>“Hmm, I could eat,” Jaebeom says, hooking his thumbs in his belt loops for a moment, rocking back on his heels.  He shrugs out of the waistcoat and folds it neatly, then puts it down somewhere out of Jooheon’s sight to the right of the door. “I was thinking of taking a shower first though.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom walks into the bathroom, undoing a few shirt buttons on his way. Jooheon watches him in the mirror, still going about his routine, cleansing his face and throwing the used make up wipes into the trash. </p>
<p>Jaebeom's shirt is undone to his navel by the time he's standing behind Jooheon, still tucked into his trousers but loose enough that Jooheon can see the muscles of Jaebeom's stomach and chest clearly, nipple piercings glinting in the lights. Jooheon’s mouth goes dry. </p>
<p>“Isn't that turtleneck a bit warm?” Jaebeom asks, fingers dancing up Jooheon's sides to tug gently at the rolled collar of his top. “You must want to freshen up too, yeah?” </p>
<p>Jooheon’s entire body is covered in goosebumps right now, despite the warmth he’s definitely feeling. He nods, licking his lips automatically. That was his plan, but he honestly thought that would be <i>after</i>. “Are you offering to wash my back for me, hyung?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom hums, lips close to Jooheon's ear. “Back,” kiss, “front,” kiss, “whatever you need.” </p>
<p>Jooheon’s stomach drops right to his feet, arousal thrumming through his body from where Jaebeom’s lips touch him. He tips his head back, resting it against Jaebeom’s shoulder, breathing shakily already.  </p>
<p>He’s glad to find that he’s not alone in this, in the mess of arousal and want that makes being in public together almost dangerous. He’s glad that they’re on the same page, that they’ve gone slow enough.  </p>
<p>Jooheon lets out a soft moan when Jaebeom’s teeth push his turtleneck down the side of his neck, gently grazing his skin.  </p>
<p>“I did get quite sweaty under the stage lights,” he murmurs, eyes fluttering closed. </p>
<p>Jaebeom's hands slide back down to his waist and start pulling his shirt out from his trousers, lips and tongue working over Jooheon's neck. Jooheon raises his arms to help when Jaebeom drags the cloth up over his body. </p>
<p>He opens his eyes again after the turtleneck is off him, slithering into a heap by his foot. Jaebeom's waistcoat and shirt follows soon after, and his chest is warm and solid against Jooheon's back when he leans back again, letting Jaebeom's arms come around him, hands moving restlessly over his stomach and chest, thumbs brushing his nipples, while Jaebeom's mouth goes back to Jooheon's neck. </p>
<p>There’s something really sensual about this, about looking at Jaebeom in the mirror, watching his lips work up and down Jooheon’s neck like this. He wants more, of course - he wants to look at the whole of Jaebeom, wants to touch him, but, despite the late hour, he can’t help but think they have time.  </p>
<p>Jooheon bites down on his bottom lip, arching his back a little to press his ass against Jaebeom’s groin, rotating his hips in slow, deliberate circles. Jaebeom groans, kisses turning into light nips, hair falling over his forehead, brushing Jooheon’s skin. He looks so beautiful like this. </p>
<p>“I know I’m the one who asked for us to go slow, back then,” Jaebeom says softly, right against Jooheon’s skin, sounding a little raw. “But I’ve been wanting this so bad, ever since I saw you perform. It was torture to resist you.” </p>
<p>Jooheon’s breath stutters in his chest. “It was good. To- to w-wait. But I’m glad we’re done with that ,” he replies, words having trouble getting past his lips, sticking to his throat. </p>
<p>“Can I take these off?” Jaebeom says as his hands move to Jooheon's belt. Jooheon nods, turning to press his face into Jaebeom's neck and returning the favor, mouthing at his jaw. Jaebeom makes quick work of undoing Jooheon's belt and trousers, letting them fall to the floor under their own weight. </p>
<p>It feels so good to finally be doing this, not just because he's been attracted to Jaebeom since the beginning, before he knew anything about him, before he knew the soft way he talks to the cats, what he sounded like when he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe  It feels so good because he knows all those little things and he can superimpose the Jaebeom he's spent the last few months getting to know with the man behind him who's obviously turned on by Jooheon, but who's also taking such good, reverent care of him. </p>
<p>“Yours too,” Jooheon whispers, turning in the circle of Jaebeom's arms to face him properly now, not just a 2D reflection but his 3D boyfriend. His skin is hot under Jooheon's hands as he touches Jaebeom's chest for the first time. It takes an immense amount of restraint not to duck his head and put his mouth on Jaebeom's nipple piercings right away, but he doesn't want to get carried away just yet; he wants to last, he wants the night to last, he wants the way he’s feeling <i>right now</i> to last. </p>
<p>Jaebeom kisses him while he gets the last of his outer clothes off, and Jooheon melts into it, stepping out of the trousers around his ankles.  He licks into Jaebeom's mouth, groaning when their bodies press close together, only their underwear separating them now. </p>
<p>“Were you serious about the shower, hyung?” Jooheon murmurs after a minute or two of exploring Jaebeom's mouth and newly bared body. </p>
<p>Jaebeom nods against his mouth, mumbling a “yeah” and Jooheon pushes gently to get him to step back, moving them towards the shower.  It's not huge but it will take both of them comfortably. </p>
<p>He doesn’t even think about removing his underwear just yet, leaning into the shower stall to turn it on and let it get warmer, moving right back into Jaebeom’s body when he’s done. He kisses him again, hands flitting down along his chest, broad and solid, all the way down his stomach and back up, finally finding his nipples.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom gasps into the kiss when Jooheon’s fingers flick over them, and he breaks the kiss to tip his head back, breathing heavy. “Sensitive,” he murmurs, and Jooheon brushes his thumbs over them, feeling the metal, warm from Jaebeom’s body. There’s a thrill that runs through him as his mind fills with all of the possibilities, all of the ways he can use this to his advantage, maybe even bring Jaebeom literally to his knees. </p>
<p>“Because of the piercings?” Jooheon asks, the charge building and building between them as he keeps his hands on Jaebeom’s chest while they kiss. </p>
<p>Jaebeom swallows hard, throat working. “N-no, they’ve always been. Even more now, though. Oh, fuck.” </p>
<p>The water behind them starts to fog up the glass, and Jooheon pushes at Jaebeom’s chest without breaking the kiss, getting the two of them under the spray and letting the door close behind them.  </p>
<p>Jooheon is only vaguely aware of his boxers getting soaked as Jaebeom moans into his mouth when he tugs on one of the piercings, hips jerking forwards into Jooheon's. His hands move down, slightly more frantic now as he peels off Jaebeom’s underwear off of him, chuckling helplessly at the fact that they haven’t even gotten fully naked yet. But there’s already so much of Jaebeom to look at, to touch, to kiss -  </p>
<p>Still, when he shimmies out of his boxers, the material hitting the floor tiles with a wet slap, Jooheon inhales sharply, taking a moment to look at him, from head to toe, taking in just how incredible it is to see him like this, wet and naked and half-hard, a goddamn vision if Jooheon’s ever seen one. </p>
<p>“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he says under his breath, not even meaning to say it out loud. </p>
<p>Jaebeom responds by pushing Jooheon against the tiles and kissing him like his life depends on it. Jooheon feels fingers pulling at his own underwear and then a rush of cool air that's warmed by the hot water and <i>oh</i>, the press of Jaebeom's thigh in between his own. </p>
<p>Jooheon gasps against Jaebeom’s lips, clutching at his shoulders as he barely resists the urge to just climb him, jump up and wrap his legs around Jaebeom’s waist. Jaebeom growls, pressing even closer, the idea of actually showering completely gone from their heads, apparently. </p>
<p>“When you said my name on stage,” Jaebeom growls again, his voice gone all rough and hard. “That was so hot. I was so surprised.” </p>
<p>“I meant it,” Jooheon says, breathing hard as Jaebeom grinds up against him. Jaebeom's hands slide over his stomach, digging his thumbs into Jooheon's ribs as he goes up. “Every word of it.” </p>
<p>“Wanted to find you backstage,” Jaebeom says between hard, bruising kisses. “Kiss you senseless, drop to my knees, suck you off right there.” </p>
<p>Jooheon moans, vision going fuzzy at the edges as they touch each other frantically, everything a little slippery with the steady fall of the water above their heads. It’s like a dam has been broken, figuratively and literally. </p>
<p>Jooheon gasps, his head smacking back against the tiled wall almost painfully, hips thrusting forward in an uneven rhythm, craving more friction. </p>
<p>“God, you have no idea how much I want that,” Jooheon mutters around a moan, head dropping down again, and he kisses along the wet slope of Jaebeom’s shoulder. “Almost as much as I want to suck you off myself,” he adds, voice hoarse. </p>
<p>He lets his hand drift down to where he can feel Jaebeom hard against his hip, fingertips just grazing hot skin, as Jaebeom swears and shudders. Jooheon's not naive, he knows how his mouth looks when he's got his lips wrapped around someone's cock; he hopes that's what's going through Jaebeom's mind right now. </p>
<p>“Do you want me to?” He asks, right against Jaebeom’s ear, lips catching against Jaebeom’s earlobe. He wants to be - good, he wants for Jaebeom to remember this forever. He wants to ruin him for anyone else, make him forget all of his exes, anyone and anything that came before.  </p>
<p>It’s selfish and a little ridiculous, but Jooheon’s not exactly thinking entirely straight, right now, and he doesn’t want to be, anyway. He lets that hungry, needy part of himself out, fingers digging harder into Jaebeom’s skin and kisses growing sloppier, a little obscene. </p>
<p>“More than anything,” Jaebeom says, panting into Jooheon's mouth. “But tonight, I want to fuck my award-winning boyfriend like he deserves.” </p>
<p>Jooheon smiles wide, tipping his head back into the shower spray, allowing Jaebeom to suck at his neck some more. “Okay,” he says as he clings onto Jaebeom's shoulders. “Yes, that's - that's good, too.” </p>
<p>He feels Jaebeom's hand at the small of his back, moving lower, his fingers sliding between his cheeks. With a sound akin to a mewl, Jooheon shivers, pushing back against the touch, like he’s asking for more already, wanting to feel Jaebeom’s fingers against him, inside him. </p>
<p>Jaebeom's fingers work up and down along the cleft of his ass, up to his lower back, back down again, the water still beating down on them. Jooheon's glad they aren't at home, because the water in their building would definitely not still be as hot by now. He plays with Jaebeom's nipple piercings while Jaebeom grabs the tiny shower gel bottle and empties half of it into his hands, suds dripping down his forearms onto Jooheon's stomach, making the slide of their bodies feel even more smooth and slick. </p>
<p>Jooheon has to reach down and squeeze the base of his erection when Jaebeom's hands go back to his ass, soaping him up, fingers playing over Jooheon's hole. But that’s what Jaebeom seems intent on doing for now, playing, teasing Jooheon, soaping him up all over, making sure he’s not missed a single spot. It slows things down to a much more sensual speed, takes some of the urgency out when Jaebeom turns Jooheon over, something almost reverent in his movements. </p>
<p>“Do you want me to wash your hair?” He asks against Jooheon’s neck, lips warm and wet. Jooheon blows out a breath, on the verge of a whine, but he’s also very much enjoying this, Jaebeom’s hands all over him.  </p>
<p>“I want to touch you,” is what Jooheon answers, which isn’t really an answer to the specific question, but at least, he says it with feeling. </p>
<p>“Okay, fair.” Jaebeom turns him back around then takes his hands, getting the last of the shower gel onto them. He drops the bottle to the floor of the shower with a clatter and puts his hands on the tiles either side of Jooheon's head, framing their bodies when Jooheon looks down. </p>
<p>He puts his hands on Jaebeom's chest, dragging the soap down over his pecs to his stomach, tracing the line of dark hair to his groin. He sinks his fingers into the curls around Jaebeom's dick, tugging gently, before closing his hand around the shaft and pulling slowly up to the head. Jaebeom lets out a shuddering breath, the sound apparently moving through his whole body, and he slips a foot a step closer, arms bending as he presses his forehead to Jooheon’s hair.  </p>
<p>Jooheon keeps going, lips parted as he watches his own hand wrapped around Jaebeom’s cock, and he’s dreamed about this countless times at this point but it’s nothing compared to the real thing, to how hot he is and how velvety soft his skin is, how he twitches in Jooheon’s grip when Jooheon twists his wrist a little, pressing his thumb to the slit.  </p>
<p>Jooheon looks back up, nuzzling close. “I think we should get out of the shower,” he murmurs, words all soft and sticking together.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom nods, head moving against Jooheon's. They rinse off quickly before Jaebeom turns off the water but neither of them move straight away, breathing each other's air in the sudden echoing silence of the shower stall. Jooheon takes his hands away from Jaebeom's body and pushes him gently to get out, letting Jaebeom take hold of his hand once they're standing, dripping on the bathroom floor. </p>
<p>The hotel towels are soft and fluffy when Jaebeom wraps him up, smiling softly at him. His hair is falling in wet waves around his face. “You're beautiful,” Jooheon finds himself saying out loud again, but he's free to say these kinds of things now, he doesn't have to keep it locked up. </p>
<p>Jaebeom grins, all gooey and fond. “Good enough to be a muse?” he asks, teasing. Jooheon smiles right back.  </p>
<p>“I’ve told you before, didn’t I? You make me want to write songs. About you, for you…” Jooheon shrugs, looking down with embarrassment.  </p>
<p>But Jaebeom tips his chin back up with two fingers under it, forcing eye contact. “<i>You’re</i> beautiful, Jooheonie,” he says, and it feels like those are difficult words for him to say out loud, it feels like he’s making an effort, and it makes Jooheon’s heart pick up speed. He takes Jaebeom’s hand and leads him back to the bedroom, letting his towel drop to the floor, even though he’s still damp all over. He looks at Jaebeom over his shoulder, earnest in wanting to be sexy, but probably failing. </p>
<p>“How do you want me?” He’s - almost shy about it. It’s been a while. </p>
<p>“Fuck, when you say things like that...” </p>
<p>“What? Am I making it... <i>hard</i> for you?” </p>
<p>Jooheon grins cheekily, and Jaebeom snorts, before groaning softly, placing a hand in between Jooheon’s shoulder blades, fingers digging in a little. “On your hands and knees,” he says, voice low and commanding. Jooheon’s grin slips off of his face, the heaviness of Jaebeom’s arousal so evident in his words it makes Jooheon bite his lip.  </p>
<p>He nods, before moving to the bed, feeling vulnerable and exposed as he settles in the asked position, knees spread on the covers, fingers gripping on tight to one of the pillows, feeling Jaebeom’s eyes on him. </p>
<p>He hears Jaebeom swear under his breath and the sound of a suitcase being unzipped before the bed dips and he can feel Jaebeom's warmth behind him. </p>
<p>“You look so fucking hot like this,” Jaebeom whispers into his ear. </p>
<p>“Only like this?” Jooheon asks, never one to shy away from praise. He yelps a little, surprised, when Jaebeom bites his shoulderblade, but it somehow manages to break some of the tension at the same time.  </p>
<p>He can feel Jaebeom’s smile against his skin. “No, you’re always fucking hot. I remember that time you opened your door and you were shirtless, I almost bust a nut.”  </p>
<p>Jooheon has to laugh, dropping his head a little. “Who says ‘bust a nut’ in the year of 2020?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom snorts a laugh of his own, punctuated with a light slap to Jooheon's butt, making him jolt. Jooheon shivers in anticipation of another but it doesn't come. Instead, Jooheon gets a warm hand spreading his cheeks as Jaebeom kisses down his spine, flicking his tongue over the remaining drops of water from the shower that linger in the dips either side of it. </p>
<p> “So when you said you wanted to eat...” Jooheon says, chest tightening with arousal. He grips the bedclothes harder, feeling the cotton squeak in his hands. “My ass is room service?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom blows lightly over Jooheon's exposed hole in response and Jooheon can't help the loud moan he lets out. He arches his back, knees sliding further apart of their own accord. He wants more, he's done with teasing and gentleness. He wants Jaebeom's tongue and fingers and cock inside him, fucking him through the mattress. </p>
<p>“Your ass is everything, right now,” Jaebeom replies in a hushed whisper, one that Jooheon isn’t sure he’s even meant to hear. He could joke again, but the words are punctuated with Jaebeom licking over him, and Jooheon just jerks again, feeling like all of his nerve endings have moved to live just here, under Jaebeom’s tongue, making him hyperaware and extremely sensitive.  </p>
<p>He moans again, any attempts at humor completely forgotten about as Jaebeom continues, tongue flicking over Jooheon’s hole, building up an obscene amount of saliva that drips down messily - not that Jooheon cares, it feels so good, so hot, the edges of his vision turning hazy as he helplessly pushes back against Jaebeom’s mouth. </p>
<p>His arms give out at the first push of Jaebeom's tongue entering him, sending him face first into the pillows. He gasps and moans again, the sound muffled, his own hot damp breath coming back at him. He rests his forehead on the bed and stretches his arms out in front of him until he's touching the headboard, back arched like a stretching cat. </p>
<p>Jaebeom's fingers grip and squeeze his buttocks, kneading and spreading them, hard enough that Jooheon's distantly aware of the marks he's going to be wearing come the morning; he finds that he likes the idea, loves thinking about walking around with bruises on his hips that Jaebeom put there, and he almost whites out at the thought, combined with how good Jaebeom’s mouth feels. When the rushing in his ears subsides, he listens to Jaebeom's noises, the moans and slurps and grunts that make Jooheon's heart race. </p>
<p>“Beom-ah,” Jooheon moans as he pushes up on one arm again shakily, reaching back to pet the back of Jaebeom's head with clumsy fingers that tangle in his wet hair. “Oh, fuck, hyung, that feels so good.” </p>
<p>His knees shake, sliding on the high thread count cotton, but Jaebeom wraps an arm around his waist, supports his body as he keeps fucking Jooheon with his tongue, relentlessly. Jooheon chokes on moans, drunk on the sensation.  </p>
<p>He has a passing thought, wondering if Jaebeom will keep going like this until Jooheon comes, but he chases it away. He won’t let that happen, he wants - no, at this point he <i>needs</i> - more, however toe-curlingly good it feels right now.  </p>
<p>He keens, loud in the midst of his panted breaths, and writhes a little, hips rolling. He lets out a drawn out curse, eyes rolling in his skull as Jaebeom doesn’t let up for a second, and makes talking very difficult.  </p>
<p>“Fi-fingers,” he finally manages, which doesn’t feel like enough at all. </p>
<p>Jaebeom doesn't say anything but there's a click and then lube being dribbled down Jooheon's crack. Jaebeom smears it up and down, mouth moving to kiss and bite at Jooheon's butt cheek. The slight reprieve does allow Jooheon to feel like he can breathe again for a second, and he looks back over his shoulder, eyes meeting Jaebeom’s. He looks obscene, and it’s unbelievably hot, making Jooheon all light-headed.  </p>
<p>Jooheon mewls, loud and unabashed, when Jaebeom pushes a finger inside him, going to the second knuckle before he pulls back, catching on the rim of Jooheon’s hole, both of them hissing together. Jooheon buries his face in the pillow, overwhelmed with the sensations; it’s been so long he forgot what it’s like to have someone else do this to him, how it makes him feel broken open and greedy and wanted. He pushes his hips back, sucking Jaebeom’s finger back in, all the way in, hearing the way it makes Jaebeom gasp.  </p>
<p>“Fuck, Jooheonie -” </p>
<p>“More,” he moans. “Moremoremore.” He doesn't care how desperate it sounds, he just wants and wants and wants. He’s desperate with it, all this time they’ve been waiting feeling like it’d been bottled up inside his chest and now he can all let it go, can be as shameless as he wants. He can ask for Jaebeom to give him everything, because he’s giving everything right back, wanton and needy and loving every second, every touch, every kiss. </p>
<p>Jaebeom moves, pulling Jooheon to one side and spooning up behind him. He wriggles a second finger inside Jooheon as he leans up to kiss him over his shoulder. Jooheon sighs in pleasure, draping his leg over Jaebeom’s, hips rolling on Jaebeom’s hand, head tipped back a little, relishing in the closeness, in feeling Jaebeom’s body against his.  </p>
<p>Jooheon jolts hard when Jaebeom’s fingers move deep inside him, curling a little and hitting his prostate, and stars explode inside Jooheon’s head, his mouth dropping open as he reaches back, gripping Jaebeom’s wrist and keeping his hand in place for a moment longer. </p>
<p>He grinds back onto it for a few seconds until the pleasure-pain intensity edges over into just a little too much sensation. He's so hard and he can feel himself making a mess, dripping over his stomach and hips, but he knows that if he touches himself he'll come way too fast. </p>
<p>“Can't wait to get inside you,” Jaebeom says into the space just behind Jooheon's ear.  “You feel so good on just my hand.” </p>
<p>“Gimme a-another finger, then,” Jooheon pants, wishing once again that he was just as in control as Jaebeom seems to be. He wants to be able to look at his face, too, he wants - too many things at once. As it is, he turns his head slightly, lips catching on Jaebeom’s sharp jawline.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom follows his command easily, adding yet another finger inside Jooheon, making him feel so full. He squeezes his muscles around Jaebeom’s fingers, all wound up in the very best way. </p>
<p>Jaebeom makes a sound that Jooheon's never heard from him at that, strained and fierce at the same time. They rock together like that for a minute, Jaebeom's cock pressing into his back, hard and hot, so close to where Jooheon needs it but not quite there yet. </p>
<p>“Hyung... please...” Jooheon begs, hands grasping for anything he can reach to be able to push up and look at him properly.  “Fuck me. I need you to fuck me now.” </p>
<p>With a noise that’s more a growl than anything else, Jaebeom moves, all of a sudden leaving Jooheon empty and cold. When Jooheon looks, a little dazedly, Jaebeom’s back is to him, his head low, and fear seizes him up for a second - did he say something wrong? But then he hears the sound of a wrapper being opened, and he relaxes, breathing out deep and slow. </p>
<p>He rolls over until he’s on his back on the bed, legs falling open in an invitation as he waits the few seconds it takes for Jaebeom to put on the condom. When Jaebeom turns around and their eyes meet, Jooheon is struck with a bolt of lightning; Jaebeom looks a little wild, barely contained. </p>
<p>His eyes are wide and dark, skin flushed and sweaty while his hair is still wet from the shower.  His mouth is red and wet, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he holds the condom down at the base of his cock. Jooheon reaches out with greedy hands, pulling him over on top of him at last. </p>
<p>Jaebeom puts his hands under Jooheon's thighs, lifting him up and shuffling forward into the space left. The air is filled with the sound of harsh breathing and the rustle of sheets underneath Jooheon's back as they arrange themselves so that Jaebeom can push into Jooheon at last. </p>
<p>Jooheon runs shaky hands over Jaebeom's equally trembling upper arms as he slides home, not stopping until Jooheon can feel the sharp press of Jaebeom’s hip bones against his butt. He arches into it, fingers digging into Jaebeom's skin, the sensation a million times more powerful and heady than fingers - and Jaebeom's fingers felt <i>good</i>. But this is something else entirely, making Jooheon keen and clamp his thighs around Jaebeom's hips. “Oh, fuck, Jaebeom-ah -” </p>
<p>Jaebeom is gazing down at him, looking like he's seconds away from falling apart. This is where Jooheon feels like some of the control is coming back his way. He feels powerful, to have someone like Jaebeom so shaken and turned on and desperate for him. He moves his hips in a tiny circle, watching Jaebeom's eyes close as he sucks in a sharp breath, nostrils flaring as he bites hard on his lip again. </p>
<p>Jooheon strokes the side of Jaebeom's face, pushing his hair back before he uses his thumb to free Jaebeom's lip from his teeth. He stretches up to place a gentle kiss on the swollen flesh, the shift in position making both of them jerk as Jaebeom's cock moves inside him. The kiss deepens as Jaebeom lets more of his weight press down on Jooheon, chests together, the metal of Jaebeom's piercings rubbing against Jooheon's own nipples, sending shivers through his body that end in his leaking, neglected cock. </p>
<p>Jaebeom moves in small, aborted thrusts at first, like he can’t bear to move away, or maybe it’s Jooheon that doesn’t let him, thighs a vice-grip around Jaebeom. It’s already so much, but when he starts moving more, Jooheon sees stars again. He moans, high-pitched, into their kiss, rolling and lifting his hips to meet Jaebeom’s thrusts, his cock finding desperate friction against Jaebeom’s lower stomach, his own precome easing the slide against Jaebeom’s overheated skin.  </p>
<p>Jooheon drags his short, blunt nails down Jaebeom’s back, uncertain he’s leaving marks or not, stopping midway down and holding on tight as Jaebeom breaks the kiss, panting harshly against Jooheon’s cheek. Jooheon feels, more than he sees, when Jaebeom starts to move a hand down between their bodies, and he stops him, grabbing Jaebeom’s wrist and keeping it at their side.  </p>
<p>“D-don’t - not yet. I’ll come.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom moans, too, before he opens his eyes, looking down at Jooheon. “You don’t w-want to?” </p>
<p>“Not yet,” he answers breathlessly. “I like – this. Some light edging,”. Jooheon admits, a little smile on his face  He wants to feel this edge of desperation, heightening all of his senses and the pleasure as Jaebeom fucks him. He wants to feel this edge of desperation, heightening all of his senses and the pleasure as Jaebeom fucks him.  </p>
<p>“Oh. Oh, okay,” Jaebeom says, nodding like he's psyching himself up, giving himself an internal pep talk. Jooheon would probably laugh in any other situation, but he just nudges Jaebeom with his legs and prompts him to move again. Jaebeom does, harder this time, making their skin slap when he connects with Jooheon's ass. The sound mixes with their gasps and moans, a soundtrack that Jooheon wants to listen to forever. </p>
<p>It's not going to last forever this time, though. They're both too wound up, Jaebeom's movements becoming frantic as Jooheon whimpers and writhes, wanting more friction but scared of reaching the peak before he's got enough of this, enough of Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Honey-yah,” Jaebeom says, pressing kisses to his face and neck before he sits back on his heels and lifts Jooheon's right leg over his shoulder. “You - you're so good. So beautiful.” </p>
<p>Jooheon forces his eyes open, looking at Jaebeom like this. His skin is tanner than Jooheon’s, gleaming under the soft lights with sweat, muscles tight as he moves, making Jooheon’s mouth water again. He wants to suspend the two of them in time, so that he can explore every single inch of Jaebeom’s body with his hands, his lips; he wants to have all the time in the world to indulge in this.  </p>
<p>Sadly, it’s not realistic, and Jooheon knows himself quite well, at this point. When Jaebeom thrusts into him in just the right way, deep and slow, the feelings slam up into Jooheon’s chest, making him grip tight onto the sheets as he murmurs a litany of curses. This time, when Jaebeom reaches to touch him, Jooheon doesn’t stop him, instead arches and jerks into the touch, hypersensitive and practically incoherent. </p>
<p>He feels so exposed but in the best way. Spread out with one leg thrown over Jaebeom's shoulder and the other curled around his hip, arms splayed to the sides, useless with pleasure. He can feel the tension in his stomach building up and up and up, his cock is so hard it hurts and he wants to come and show Jaebeom just how good he's making Jooheon feel. He just needs something else, something more, something just out of reach. </p>
<p>Jooheon can only moan wordlessly, eyes closed tight as he throws his head back, and arches up again, fucking the circle of Jaebeom's hand, then pushing back on his cock. </p>
<p>The end comes when he feels Jaebeom's other hand slide down from his hip to touch the stretched rim of his hole where his cock is still thrusting into him, teasing the idea of a finger or two sliding in alongside. The effect is immediate; Jooheon tenses up, toes curling as he comes hard over his own stomach and Jaebeom’s hand. He can’t breathe for a moment, air trapped in his lungs and refusing to be expelled out, throat closed as he shudders through a rush of mind-numbing pleasure.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom says something, or at least, Jooheon thinks he says something, he isn’t entirely sure as there’s static in his ears, a dull beating sound he recognises only faintly as his own pounding heart. The wave of his orgasm crests, and slowly ebbs, making him slowly aware of his surroundings again. He opens his eyes with difficulty, breathing hard and fast as he looks at Jaebeom, and sees the open, wrecked look on his face.  </p>
<p>He’s about to ask if Jaebeom’s okay, suddenly worrying, when Jaebeom starts moving his hips again, in short, frantic thrusts that are almost too much for Jooheon but also feel devastatingly good. It’s obvious that Jaebeom is close, and Jooheon does his best, squeezing his muscles around his cock, silently begging for more, even though he can barely take it now. </p>
<p>He wishes he could find his voice to say something, to encourage Jaebeom, beg him to come inside him, or over him, in his mouth, anywhere and everywhere. He raises a limp arm and pulls at Jaebeom's shoulder, until he leans over, Jooheon's leg slipping from his shoulder, changing the angle of his thrusts again. </p>
<p>Jaebeom falls onto his elbows either side of Jooheon's head, almost sobbing when Jooheon takes hold of one of his nipple rings and tugs on it hard. His free hand slides into Jaebeom’s hair and tugs him down just a fraction, until their lips press and stick together, breaths too ragged to be kissing. They’re like this, all wrapped up around each other, Jooheon oversensitive and overstimulated and on the verge of having to ask Jaebeom to pull out despite not wanting him to, when Jaebeom comes. He thrusts once more, going as deep as he can before he stills, choking on a moan as he comes, thighs trembling and jaw locked tight. Jooheon reaches up, cradling his face in his hand as he cranes his neck to kiss him all over, tiny butterfly kisses on his cheeks, chin, lips, temples, nose.  </p>
<p>He can feel Jaebeom inside him, even with the condom, this filthy hot satisfying sensation that’s just increased tenfold when Jaebeom all but collapses over him, heavy and too warm and sweaty and fucking perfect. </p>
<p>They lie there, entwined. for a few minutes, just feeling each other's heartbeats racing, eventually slowing down, along with their breathing. Jooheon blows his hair out of his eyes and draws a line up along Jaebeom's spine with his finger, feeling the sweat still pouring out of him. </p>
<p>Jaebeom squirms when Jooheon finds what must be a ticklish spot, making him gasp and whine when it jostles him, his nerve-endings feeling fried. </p>
<p>“That - holy shit,” Jaebeom says, voice croaky, then giggles. “That was...” </p>
<p>“Uh huh,” is all Jooheon can muster, before he lets out a laugh of his own, like a bubble of euphoria had been caught in his chest. It quickly turns into a groan when Jaebeom moves, the two of them wincing when he pulls out - a sad necessity if you ask Jooheon. Jaebeom sits up to take care of the condom, and Jooheon follows, his muscles feeling like jelly when he sits behind Jaebeom, legs bracketing his hips. He leans in, tracing the red marks his nails have left over Jaebeom’s back, and then moves closer, kissing the back of his shoulder as he wraps his hands around his waist.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom’s fingers trail up along Jooheon’s calves, before his hands cover Jooheon’s, the two of them still catching their breath, still feeling the endorphins flooding their systems. Jooheon has not felt this deeply, achingly sated in so, so long.  </p>
<p>“That was worth the wait,” Jooheon says softly, and Jaebeom turns to look at him, his face brightening up with a smile.  </p>
<p>“That was definitely worth the wait.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>us: should we cut some of these sex scenes?<br/>our betas: NO!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jooheon  wakes up slowly, blinking at the tufts of dark hair on the pillow next to him for a second before the previous night - well, a few hours ago - comes back to him. He's further reminded when he moves his legs, stretching out under the covers, and his back and hips ache in an extremely specific way. It hurts, but it also makes him smile as he remembers the way Jaebeom had taken care of him afterwards, leading him back to the bathroom on wobbly legs to clean him off under the shower again, a lot more innocently this time, despite the fact that he was washing come and lube from his skin.  </p>
<p>The feeling of falling asleep in Jaebeom’s arms was almost as good as the orgasm that had come before it, so warm and content that he forgot to feel self-conscious about snoring – not that he was awake long enough to warn Jaebeom once they came back to bed to actually sleep. The phrase ‘thoroughly fucked out’ floats through his mind and Jooheon smiles again as he turns on his side to face Jaebeom properly.</p>
<p>He looks so relaxed, lips just barely parted on soft, rhythmic breaths, his brow smooth, no trace of worries on his face. Jooheon glances at the clock behind Jaebeom’s head, seeing that it’s still early; the sun has not yet burned off the dawn mist, the light coming from the side of the curtains still a murky grey. It feels like they bubble they’d made for themselves when they closed the hotel room door behind them last night is still there, the rest of the world still asleep and blanketed with quiet, leaving them uninterrupted.</p>
<p>Jaebeom is so deeply asleep that Jooheon feels safe in sliding out of bed to use the bathroom. The mirror behind the toilet shows him exactly what he thought he would see, the bruises and bite marks littering his body, like a map of last night’s activities. He runs the tips of his fingers over some of them after washing his hands but doesn’t linger – why would he when he’s got Jaebeom in bed in the other room?</p>
<p>When he gets back to the bed, he finds that Jaebeom has rolled onto his back, arm outstretched so that his hand is dangling over the edge.  He’s also kicked off the heavier comforter and is covered only by the top sheet, which, when Jooheon looks down, is doing nothing to hide the morning wood Jaebeom is sporting.</p>
<p>Jooheon grins to himself as he remembers what he’d said last night, about wanting to suck Jaebeom off. Well, what better way to start their first ‘morning after’ together? </p>
<p>    It only takes a few strides across the room to grab the box of tissues for later and once they’re safely set aside, Jooheon’s under the sheets with Jaebeom’s cock in his mouth, propping himself up with one hand.</p>
<p>Jaebeom’s whole body jerks when he wakes up and he lets out a confused moan, before Jooheon hears him take a sharp breath in and his muscles tense as he tries to stay still. Jooheon smiles, free hand caressing Jaebeom’s hip before pulling off to kiss the base of his cock, coaxing him back into relaxing.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Beomie-hyung,” Jooheon murmurs then licks his way back to the tip of Jaebeom’s cock.</p>
<p>“Oh, my god,” Jaebeom says, then swears even louder when Jooheon sinks down and swallows around him, nose pressed right up against Jaebeom's pubic bone. The thigh muscles under his hand start to tremble. “Oh, good fucking morning to you too, Honey-yah.”</p>
<p>Jooheon just hums and gets to work.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>What starts as an innocent good morning blowjob ends with Jooheon grinding against Jaebeom’s thigh until he comes while Jaebeom kisses the taste of his come off Jooheon’s tongue. Jooheon comes down slowly, trembling for a little while, and it takes a solid couple of minutes for him to be able to open his eyes. He swallows, blinking as he looks at Jaebeom. “Morning,” he says again, feeling silly about it.</p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles at him, stroking his hair with his cleanhand. “Good morning. Again.”</p>
<p>Jooheon basks in the tender way Jaebeom pets him, the way he places soft, barely-there kisses on Jooheon's face and neck. It makes him feel so good, so… special; cared for in a way that he can now admit to missing desperately.</p>
<p>“I like waking up with you,” Jaebeom says, voice still barely above a whisper as though he doesn't want to disturb their little bubble of calm. “Not just because of the blow job.”</p>
<p>Jooheon breathes out a little hum, smiling big and closing his eyes again, because he’s warm, he’s comfortable, he’s <i>happy</i>. </p>
<p>“Me too. Thank you for agreeing to come with me last night, even if it must have been incredibly boring.”</p>
<p>“I had fun, I promise,” Jaebeom says before the bed shifts and Jaebeom is no longer pressed against him. Jooheon opens his eyes to see what's going on and is glad he did as he gets to admire the flex of Jaebeom's muscles as he reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a handful of tissues from the box that Jooheon moved there from the desk. Jaebeom gives them both a cursory wipe down and then takes Jooheon in his arms properly, settling them back under the covers. Jooheon could purr, he's so content.</p>
<p>“So, if I have to go to another one of these things in the future, you'd come with me?”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s phone vibrates from the bedside table behind him, but he ignores it, way too focused on Jaebeom and their quiet conversation. Jaebeom nods, looking all soft and sleepy and content himself, feeling so warm.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’d love to. Can’t believe I’m dating an award-winning artist,” he teases, grinning. Jooheon swats his arm, no strength behind it. </p>
<p>His phone vibrates again. Jaebeom raises an eyebrow. “Maybe it’s your parents? Were they watching the broadcast last night? You should check.”</p>
<p>“Mmm, too comfy,” Jooheon says, tightening his arms around Jaebeom's waist and nuzzling into his chest. “It's too early for phones. If it’s my eomma, she’ll leave a message. She’ll probably just assume I went out drinking to celebrate.”</p>
<p>“It’s past 9,” Jaebeom says when the ringing doesn’t stop, but it sounds warm and fond and he doesn’t try to untangle the two of them. “Maybe she thinks you’re awake.”</p>
<p>Jooheon pouts, even though Jaebeom can’t see him with his face mashed into his chest like this. “You pick up, then. It won’t be my parents, I’m sure of it.” Not that it matters to him if it was, but that might not exactly be the best way to introduce them to Jaebeom.</p>
<p>Jaebeom makes an exaggerated sigh. “Fine,” he says, but kisses the top of Jooheon’s head before reaching over him to grab Jooheon's phone. Jooheon lifts his head when Jaebeom snorts.</p>
<p>“Huh? Who is it then?” Jooheon rests his chin on Jaebeom’s sternum, raising his eyebrows when he looks up at Jaebeom’s amused face.</p>
<p>“Jackson-ah,” Jaebeom says, showing the screen to Jooheon. “On second thought, maybe don't answer.”</p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles, stretching up a tiny bit to kiss Jaebeom, hoping to distract him some more. He can feel the hard, cold plastic of his phone digging into his back when Jaebeom kisses back and drapes his arm over Jooheon’s waist while still holding the phone, but he doesn’t care, kissing Jaebeom’s smile. </p>
<p>The phone starts vibrating again, right into his spine, and Jooheon lets out an annoyed noise against Jaebeom’s lips. “He really doesn’t know when to give up.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom snorts. “It's Jackson-ah, of course he doesn't.”</p>
<p>Jooheon grumbles again and takes the phone back, swiping to answer the call with an annoyed “I'm busy, what do you want?” foregoing any usual politeness.</p>
<p>Jackson just cackles on the other end of the line. “Busy getting busy, I hope.”</p>
<p>“And you’re <i>getting in the way</i>,” Jooheon breathes out slowly, trying to make it clear that truly, this wasn’t the plan they had. Jackson tsks.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to congratulate you on your award! And getting pounded! C’mon, man, it’s a momentous occasion!”</p>
<p>Jooheon bites back the ‘how do you know it was me who got pounded’ , looking up at Jaebeom thoughtfully. Reaching up, he drags his fingers down his collarbones, to his nipples. Jaebeom hisses.</p>
<p>“Okay, thanks! Is that it, because as I said, I’m busy.”</p>
<p>“Is Jaebeom-hyung there?”</p>
<p>“He is, and you're stopping us from getting on with round three,” Jaebeom says, and Jooheon's not sure if the menacing growl is meant for him or Jackson but he's turned on either way.</p>
<p>“Three? Aw, man, I’m so proud of you!” Jackson exclaims, sounding genuinely happy, and Jooheon groans. </p>
<p>“I’m hanging up now, bye Jackson-ah!”</p>
<p>Without waiting for an answer, he does hang up, chucking his phone down behind him and hearing it tumble on the carpet before looking up at Jaebeom.</p>
<p>“Round three, huh? You up for it?”</p>
<p>“Crazy to say, but I could be. Are you?”</p>
<p>“Not yet,” Jaebeom says, rolling them over and straddling Jooheon's thighs. He grinds down into him, rubbing their semi-hard dicks together. “But give me a minute, and I will.”</p>
<p>“I’ll give you all the time you need,” Jooheon says, and it’s cheesy, but it’s heartfelt.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Jooheon’s always hated the phrase ‘honeymoon phase’ but honestly? It’s an accurate way of describing the next few weeks. He can’t keep his hands off Jaebeom, and Jaebeom is just as bad. He’s also glad he doesn’t need to rely on his cat to have an excuse to see Jaebeom when he comes home late at night from the studio, because more often than not Jaebeom is already in Jooheon’s bed, or reading on his couch, and if he’s not at Jooheon’s apartment, he’s making food at his place and sending Jooheon pictures of it with an instruction to come there instead when he gets back. Jooheon loves it, he just hopes that he’s giving enough back to the relationship that Jaebeom doesn’t feel like he’s being taken advantage of.</p>
<p>So, he tries to finish working at reasonable hours, so that he’s not just crawling into bed next to a slumbering Jaebeom. He takes weekends off whenever possible, so that he’s the one waiting for Jaebeom to get back from work, and while he can’t really cook, he is a pro when it comes to ordering food. He writes the songs he promised Jaebeom he would write for and about him, then takes him to the studio so that Jaebeom can sing them.</p>
<p>It doesn’t seem like much time has passed at all, but when he gets a whining call from Kihyun saying that he hasn’t seen him in forever and telling him that he has to come to the noraebang with the rest of the gang and bring Jaebeom along too, he feels duty bound to say yes.  Besides, he does miss his hyungs – he hasn’t even had a K-drama catch up with Shownu in at least a month, he thinks guiltily.</p>
<p>So maybe the honeymoon phase is real, because he’s bypassed seeing his friends in favor of spending every spare minute he has with Jaebeom, even foregoing the old traditions he’s had for years. But Jooheon still doesn’t quite feel bad – not only have he and Jaebeom been making more time to spend with each other, to eat and hang out and spend hours talking, but also, he's gotten laid so much in the past month he feels like he’s constantly walking with a stupid, happy smile on his face.</p>
<p>He asks Jaebeom if he wants to go to the noraebang, and gets an enthusiastic yes in answer, which is how they end up in one of the many noraebangs in Itaewon, the room hot and cramped as they pile up in the small space. They drink too much – well, at least, Jooheon does – and they eat too much fried chicken, and they sing countless songs, solo or together, in between moments of Jooheon just staring moony-eyed at Jaebeom, as he gets to know Jooheon’s friends better. </p>
<p>The night isn’t even ruined by the tense introduction between Minhyuk and Jaebeom when Minhyuk finally joins them. Minhyuk tries to rile Jaebeom up from the get-go, bragging about his and Jooheon’s past as if the way they hurt each other is anything to be proud of. Jooheon, despite caring for Minhyuk so much, can’t help how embarrassed and annoyed he is. But the way Jaebeom reacts makes up for it; he turns surprisingly possessive, turning Minhyuk’s jabs into his own bragging about the fact that <i>he</i> is the one dating Jooheon now. </p>
<p>It’s hot, honestly. It’s really, really hot, and even Minhyuk seems to appreciate it, like his whole posturing was just a test for Jaebeom, and he passed it. </p>
<p>It’s a good night; Jaebeom especially gets along with Shownu, but he also seems to make an effort to talk to everyone, even Minhyuk, later on in the night. He sings a duet with Wonho, sings background vocals for Kihyun, dances with Jooheon, all the while looking so bright and happy about it all that it settles deep in Jooheon’s heart, making him think, deliriously, wonderfully, <i>this is it</i>.</p>
<p>;;  </p>
<p>The rest of the weekend after the noraebang excursion is lazy. Part of it because Jooheon spends a while just being hungover, and part of it because it’s kind of just. Fucking nice, to be lazing around on the couch with Jaebeom, to slurp noodles straight out of the pot they cooked it in, fall asleep watching a drama, with Jaebeom’s arm around his waist.</p>
<p>It’s a kind of domesticity he’s never really had with another person before, even when living with Minhyuk, and he loves it. </p>
<p>He’s dozing now, when Jaebeom gets up. Jooheon groans softly, feeling cold the moment Jaebeom moves, but he gets a little kiss on the temple, and hears Jaebeom pad over to the bathroom. </p>
<p>A minute later, and he’s back, nudging Jooheon. “Scoot over. My turn,” Jaebeom says, and Jooheon doesn’t quite get it at first, until he does. </p>
<p>He shuffles back onto Jaebeom’s big sectional, making enough space for him to lie down in front of Jooheon. Jaebeom makes a content sounding noise when Jooheon's arms fold around him and Jooheon presses a kiss to the top notch of his spine above his collar.</p>
<p>“Your big head is blocking the TV now though,” Jooheon says, prodding Jaebeom's stomach.</p>
<p>“Your eyelids were blocking the TV before I got up,” Jaebeom replies, bringing Jooheon's hand up to his mouth and biting his fingers.</p>
<p>“Oooh, we got a smartass over here,” Jooheon chuckles, wiggling his fingers a little. </p>
<p>“You know it,” Jaebeom says in a smug tone, at the same time as he shuffles back some more, pressing his ass right against Jooheon’s crotch. They’re playing, of course, but Jooheon can’t help the way he suddenly inhales a little sharper, surprised.</p>
<p>Jaebeom stills for a second, then presses back again, more deliberately this time. Jooheon presses his face into the back of Jaebeom's neck again and shudders.</p>
<p>“Oh, I see,” Jaebeom says, still sounding smug. “I wasn't sure if you, you know, if you liked it this way around.”</p>
<p>“Well, you never asked,” Jooheon says, surprised at how throaty his voice sounds all of a sudden. He swallows, hand skimming Jaebeom’s stomach, over his shirt. Jaebeom hums softly, and it’s amazing to Jooheon just how quickly they can forget about everything else around them, the moment they focus on each other like this. </p>
<p>“I’ll give you that,” Jaebeom replies, very softly. He rolls his hips a little now, and Jooheon bites on the inside of his lip. “But you do? You like topping?”</p>
<p>Jooheon bites his lip harder, somehow glad that they’re not facing each other right now, because he’s embarrassed. “Yeah, I - I do. I just haven’t done it much. I’ve mainly dated tops, and since I… Since I like bottoming, it’s never felt like I was losing out on anything.”</p>
<p>“Sounds more like they were ones losing out,” Jaebeom says as he covers Jooheon's hand with one of his own, moving it up to his chest until their fingers are brushing Jaebeom's piercing through his shirt.</p>
<p>Jooheon kisses the back of Jaebeom's neck with more purpose as he plays with the nipple ring, feeling the heat between their bodies rising. “What about you?”</p>
<p>“I just want my partner to feel good, that's what makes it good for me. It doesn't matter how that happens.”</p>
<p>“But I'm...” <i>not the biggest</i>, he wimps out of saying. Jaebeom lets out a tiny noise, arching a little into Jooheon’s touch - he keeps on being surprised at just how sensitive Jaebeom’s nipples are. Makes him wonder just how much the piercings do heighten the sensations.</p>
<p>“You’re what?” Jaebeom asks, voice thin, breathy. </p>
<p>“You know. I’m just not - I mean. I don’t have a huge dick,” he ends up blurting out, because, after all, it’s not like Jaebeom hasn’t seen it. He knows exactly what Jooheon is packing, and he seems like he’s into it. And in response to Jooheon’s words, Jaebeom presses back harder against him, effectively trapping Jooheon’s dick against his ass. </p>
<p>“Huge dicks are overrated,” he replies, and he sounds sincere. He turns his head a little, to be able to catch Jooheon’s eye. “I like <i>your</i> dick. And if I say that word again, it’s going to lose all meaning,” he finishes with a smirk.</p>
<p>“That would be a shame,” Jooheon says absently, making the quip without his brain engaged in what he's saying at all, still thinking about Jaebeom's words and the look on his face that isn't pity or condescension, just earnest, heated even.</p>
<p>“It'd be a shame if you didn't give me it, now that we've talked about it for so long,” Jaebeom's saying, grinding back on him again, getting into a rhythm that has Jooheon's blood heading exactly where Jaebeom seems to want it.</p>
<p>Jooheon exhales hard, pressing his face into Jaebeom’s shoulder, his hips starting to move with Jaebeom’s, no thoughts required for that to happen. He’s still worried and in his own head about the whole thing, but at the same time, he <i>wants</i> it, he wants to please Jaebeom and he’s a little thrilled at the way Jaebeom is asking for it. </p>
<p>“It’d be rude to leave you hanging,” he manages to reply, and Jaebeom rumbles out a deep, pleased noise, before he <i>moves away</i>, leaving Jooheon humping cold, empty air. “Wha-?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom stands up, looking down at Jooheon with a happy grin. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”</p>
<p>He takes off in the direction of his bedroom, while Jooheon digs his fingers into his own thigh, doing the best he can not to roll to his stomach and rut against the couch. Thankfully, Jaebeom isn’t exactly gone long, reappearing quickly, shirtless and short of breath, holding lube and condoms. </p>
<p>“I don’t exactly keep supplies all over the house,” he explains, a little sheepish.</p>
<p>“Maybe you should start,” Jooheon says, sitting up and reaching for him, wanting to get his hands on Jaebeom's bare skin. Jaebeom comes easily, setting his knees either side of Jooheon's thighs and gently resting his weight on them.</p>
<p>“Oh, I should, should I? Why's that?” Jaebeom says. He drops the supplies on the couch cushion next to them and leans down to kiss Jooheon. “So you can bend me over the couch whenever you want? Fuck me in my own kitchen?”</p>
<p>Jooheon groans, a shiver zipping down his spine as images flash in his head, Jaebeom bent over the kitchen table, or pressing Jooheon up against the wall in his entryway. He bites lightly at Jaebeom’s jawline, hands pressing against the warm, soft skin of his back. “Yeah. Or vice versa. Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about fucking me in your own kitchen.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums, fingers buried in Jooheon’s hair. “Not so much. I’ve thought about fucking you in your home studio, though. And your work studio. On that beat up old couch you’ve got in there.”</p>
<p>“I'd never be able to get any work done again,” Jooheon says into Jaebeom's neck. “I'd just be thinking about you every time I look at it.”</p>
<p>“That'll mean my plan worked.”</p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles, pressing a bruising kiss to the underside of Jaebeom’s jaw. “I’d have to get revenge, then. Maybe deepthroat you while you’re behind the counter in the store,” he replies when he’s satisfied with the faint mark he’s left on Jaebeom’s skin. </p>
<p>“Oh, God,” Jaebeom groans, tilting his head to the side to give Jooheon more room to keep going.  “Name the day, I'll tell Jinyoung to take a holiday.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I want him to see,” Jooheon says with a grin, feeling evil. “Maybe I want him to know exactly how good I am with my mouth, how well I can please you. That I’m better than him.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom responds with a full body shiver, a tiny moan escaping him. It makes Jooheon blink, surprised. He expected Jaebeom to tell him off for it, not be into the idea. He pulls back just a tiny bit, tamping down on the feeling of possessiveness to quirk an interested eyebrow at Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Wait, you’re into that?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom flushes, dragging his hands down Jooheon’s chest. “Only rhetorically,” he answers honestly. Jooheon leans up to kiss Jaebeom hard, a little messy,       wet and open, Jaebeom’s hands fist in his shirt, his whole body swaying into the kiss for a moment before he pulls back, panting. </p>
<p>“You know what I’m into in not a rhetorical way? You, inside me   .”</p>
<p>Jooheon is the one to groan now, pushing at Jaebeom's back, getting him closer. “It's not going to work like this,” he says, motioning to Jaebeom in his lap.  </p>
<p>“Okay,” Jaebeom says easily, kissing him again. “Tell me how.” Jooheon's heart swells as he guides Jaebeom back to his feet, standing as well and getting out of his clothes.</p>
<p>“Be the little spoon,” he tells Jaebeom. The way they got naked was quick and efficient, but now that they are, Jooheon can’t help the way his eyes roam over Jaebeom’s body, fingers tracing the way his waist nips in, hungrily taking him all in.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Jaebeom says softly, like he’s afraid of disrupting the moment they’re having. With gentle hands, he guides Jooheon to lie down again, and follows along, until they resume their earlier position. “I’d like to look at you while doing this, some day,” he murmurs, turning his head a little. </p>
<p>Jooheon props his head up on an elbow to be able to look back. “Me too,” he replies. Jaebeom smiles, pressing his hips back again, angling himself just so that Jooheon’s cock slips between his cheeks. </p>
<p>Jooheon swears and digs his fingers into Jaebeom's ribs, unable to stop himself from rutting forwards. Without any lube, it's a lot more friction than slide, skin catching on skin and hair, but it has them both breathing faster already.</p>
<p>Jaebeom hands him the bottle, twisting his head even more and muttering "kiss me". Jooheon obeys, their mouths coming together with sloppy haste as Jooheon pushes Jaebeom's top leg to bend at the knee, giving himself room to open Jaebeom up.</p>
<p>“Tell me if I fuck up,” he says right against Jaebeom’s lips, noses bumping. Jaebeom nods, and Jooheon kisses him, swallowing the sound Jaebeom makes when Jooheon circles his lubed-up index finger against his hole. He pushes back some more, like he’s trying to pull Jooheon in, which is ridiculously hot and overwhelming at once. This time, Jooheon’s the one who has the opportunity to be truly in charge, and he’d like to be, just to make Jaebeom come like he never has before. </p>
<p>He presses his finger in slowly, only to the first knuckle, hooking against the rim a little, and Jaebeom breaks the kiss on a strangled moan. He turns his head, burying it in the couch cushions, and Jooheon pushes a little deeper, nose brushing the shell of Jaebeom’s ear.</p>
<p>“Do you like to be edged?” He’s mentioned that he does before already, but now that they’ve started talking about their kinks, after all, might as well continue. It’s kinda hot, after all. “I do,” he says softly. “I like feeling like I’m about to come for hours, but not getting to. The frustration heightens everything.”</p>
<p>He's getting into it now, controlling the situation a little more than he would usually, getting turned on not just by the feeling of Jaebeom's body against his, but also by knowing that he's already reduced Jaebeom to this, pressing his moans into the sofa and shuddering underneath his touch, and he's barely one finger deep.</p>
<p>"Would you do that, Jaebeom-ah? You could make me watch you come all over me, inside me, until I'm begging and begging and begging," Jooheon says, punctuating it with a sharper, deeper thrust of his finger. He uses his thumb to rub at Jaebeom's perineum at the same time as he uses the pad of his index finger to push against it from the inside.</p>
<p>Jaebeom looks wild in the eyes when Jooheon nudges his cheek with his nose, silently asking him to turn and look at him. "Yes," he breathes against Jooheon's cheek. "Yes, anything you want. I want you to have it all."</p>
<p>"I want it all, I want all of you," Jooheon admits, kissing Jaebeom hard on the mouth. He keeps up a steady rhythm with just one finger for a little while, kissing Jaebeom from time to time, but mostly just pressing their faces close, breathing the same air.</p>
<p>When Jaebeom starts asking for more, Jooheon stops and pulls back to get more lube on his hand, looking down at the shiny slick mess he's already made between Jaebeom's cheeks, the way his skin is flushed pink all over, right down to his toes. Jooheon kisses the moles he can see between Jaebeom's shoulder blades as he brings two fingers back to Jaebeom's hole and presses in, wiggling a little, his other hand stroking Jaebeom's back.</p>
<p>He moves his wrist and fingers deliberately slow, curling them every time he’s as deep inside Jaebeom as he can be. He presses kisses wherever he can, focusing on the sounds Jaebeom makes, little hitched breaths and broken moans. </p>
<p>“You’re so - <i>tight</i>,” Jooheon says, rearranging himself to add another finger inside Jaebeom, finding pride and pleasure in the way Jaebeom cries out, muffling the sound by clamping his mouth shut for a second. </p>
<p>“Didn’t k-know getting y-you to fuck me would make you s-so <i>chatty</i>,” Jaebeom replies, looking like he wants to be annoyed, but missing the mark by a mile. </p>
<p>"Are you complaining?" Jooheon pushes Jaebeom's bent leg even higher, shifting to roll Jaebeom onto his back, getting between his thighs. He keeps moving his fingers in and out, fucking Jaebeom open, and kisses down Jaebeom's throat to get his mouth on his chest. He takes a nipple ring between his teeth and tugs, enjoying the way Jaebeom whines and squirms.</p>
<p>“It’s hot,” Jaebeom replies in between harsh pants, one hand tugging hard on Jooheon’s hair. Honestly, Jooheon doesn’t think he’s going to manage being this talkative, not for much longer - he’s way too wound up, and he wants to focus on Jaebeom, not what he could say. It doesn’t seem to matter - he wonders for a second if Jaebeom would get turned on if Jooheon started talking technical production terms. </p>
<p>Jooheon fucks a little harder into Jaebeom, getting the reaction he was hoping for when he does - Jaebeom gripping the side of the couch, back arching and thighs shaking. He looks so good Jooheon is dizzy with it. </p>
<p>“Don’t make me c-come on your fingers. Make me come on y-your cock.”</p>
<p>"Not both?" Jooheon asks but he's not serious. This time, at least.</p>
<p>Jaebeom shakes his head vehemently, already squeezing at the base of his cock. He's shiny with sweat and Jooheon has to stop himself from derailing this train so he can put his tongue all over Jaebeom.</p>
<p>"Okay," he says, slowly pulling his fingers out and reaching over to take two condoms from the pile Jaebeom brought from the bedroom. He rolls one over Jaebeom's cock first, grinning when Jaebeom makes a confused face. "Well, you didn't bring a towel for the couch, so..."</p>
<p>"My boyfriend, the genius."</p>
<p>Jooheon shoots him a grin, spending a moment just jerking him off, only stopping when Jaebeom hisses. Then, he focuses on getting a condom on himself, eyes fluttering shut for a second. He grips himself at the base, opening his eyes again to be able to see what he’s doing, and carefully pushes into Jaebeom. </p>
<p>They both moan together, Jaebeom’s hand shooting out to grip Jooheon’s forearm. “Oh -“ he gasps out softly, head tipped back, exposing the long, beautiful slope of his neck.</p>
<p>"What - what I said before - about edging," Jooheon grits his teeth as he speaks, "Ignore it. This is going to be fast."</p>
<p>And Jooheon is not huge, but he knows how to angle his hips just right to drive in deep, angle Jaebeom’s hips, too, helping them meet in the best way, fucking into Jaebeom in one smooth thrust, making him cry out. And that’s - that’s the most gratifying sound ever, combined with the incredible feeling of Jaebeom around him, tight and so, so hot Jooheon can barely breathe.</p>
<p>He keeps grinding forwards without pulling out much, jaw clenched at the onslaught of sensation. He drizzles some more lube straight onto Jaebeom's cock, easing the slide over the condom as he gets his hand around it, jerking Jaebeom slow and drawn out, wanting it to last as long as he can make it.</p>
<p>Leaning down, Jooheon worms his other arm underneath Jaebeom, so that he's completely wrapped around him, pressing his face into Jaebeom's neck, licking the sweat off his skin.  He knows his arm will go numb under Jaebeom's weight eventually, but he doesn't care. Not when Jaebeom is making such glorious sounds, moaning Jooheon's name, his voice rising in pitch with every one of Jooheon’s thrusts. </p>
<p>Jaebeom looks like he wants to say something, but no words will come out, which is kind of extremely gratifying for Jooheon, even if he can’t speak himself either. Instead, they kiss each other wherever they can reach, their grunts and moans mixing together. </p>
<p>Jaebeom curses suddenly, hand shooting out to hold on to Jooheon’s wrist, stopping him from continuing jerking him off. “W-wait -”</p>
<p>Jooheon whines; he doesn’t want to wait. He wants to make Jaebeom come.</p>
<p>"What do you need, baby?" The endearment isn't anything he's ever called Jaebeom before, but it trips off his tongue nonetheless. His words are all mashed together anyway, pushed through gritted teeth as his body strains for his release.</p>
<p>"I just - I just want to look at you, before - " Jaebeom breaks off with another moan, cock twitching in Jooheon's hand. "Before it's all over."</p>
<p>Jooheon stills, buried as deep as he can go inside Jaebeom, and moves his hand to be able to plant it on the couch arm by Jaebeom’s head. The other stays on Jaebeom’s cock, but he doesn’t move it anymore for now, looking down at Jaebeom. There’s a lot of feelings there, when their eyes meet - Jooheon can’t spell all of them out, but a few of them come to mind, and make his heart stutter a little. </p>
<p>“Never gonna be all over,” Jooheon says, not even thinking about it.</p>
<p>Jaebeom cups his cheek, eyes shining, and smiles wide, like it’s the best thing he's heard all day. And maybe it’s cheesy and ridiculous, and under different circumstances, maybe Jooheon wouldn’t say that, but he’s never had a problem about saying and doing ridiculous things in the past, and this one feels important. It’s earnest, too, just as is the kiss they share afterwards, in which Jaebeom chuckles, sliding his hand through to Jooheon’s hair, tugging this way and that. </p>
<p>Jooheon groans, heartfelt. “Can I move again? Can I make you come?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom makes a noise that feels like it’s rumbling up his whole chest, his eyes closing when Jooheon squeezes his fingers around his cock, testing him out. “Please,” he answers, looking out of it, in the most beautiful way.</p>
<p>Jooheon pulls back and snaps his hips in hard a couple of times then grabs a throw cushion and shoves it under Jaebeom's back, tilting him up, changing the angle. He kisses Jaebeom's chest, tucking his head down far enough to mouth at his nipples and pull at the piercings, playing Jaebeom's body like an instrument.</p>
<p>"Hyung, touch yourself," he says, taking his hand away so that he can use both arms as leverage either side of Jaebeom's head. He drops his head to look at Jaebeom do just that, their bodies moving together. Jaebeom gets louder and louder, clenching around Jooheon’s cock, and it’s dizzyingly hot - but Jooheon is determined to make Jaebeom come first, no matter what. He reaches back, holding himself up on one trembling arm for a second as he lifts Jaebeom’s thigh, wrapping it around his own hip, changing the angle again in a minute way, but it makes Jaebeom gasp anyway, moaning Jooheon’s name loudly. </p>
<p>When Jaebeom comes, it somehow takes Jooheon by surprise. It seems to happen all of a sudden, like it’s punched out of him, his body jerking, free hand clamping down on Jooheon’s arm, thigh tightening around him. </p>
<p>Jooheon fucks him through it, unable to stop, chasing the same feelings he can see on Jaebeom's face. It’s looking at him like this, with bliss and adoration written on his features, that sends Jooheon over the edge, shuddering through a powerful orgasm, fingers gripping the couch and Jaebeom both. </p>
<p>He rocks his hips a couple more times as he rides the high, until he can’t anymore, and Jaebeom starts whining softly. Jooheon pulls out then, slowly, careful, and looks down at Jaebeom, the flush of his skin, the perk of his nipples, and down, his now spent cock still in a condom. Jooheon frowns, shaking his head as he shifts, rolling the condom off of Jaebeom’s dick without preamble, making Jaebeom gasp in surprise. </p>
<p>“Wha-?”</p>
<p>Jooheon kneels back between Jaebeom’s legs.</p>
<p>He drags the tip of his index finger up through the mess of come and lube on Jaebeom's dick, bringing it to his mouth and licking it off while Jaebeom watches. Jaebeom makes another surprised noise and his thighs twitch when Jooheon pushes them apart a little more and bends down to lick his way over the mess, cleaning everything up with gentle swipes of his tongue.</p>
<p>“Ah, Jooheonie -” Jaebeom says after a moment, muscled clenched under Jooheon’s hands. Jooheon looks up, licking his own lips, to see Jaebeom’s face, all tense and scrunched up.</p>
<p>“Too much?” He asks, using his thumb to draw soothing circles into the inside of Jaebeom’s thigh. </p>
<p>“I wish it wasn’t,” Jaebeom replies softly.</p>
<p>Jooheon rubs Jaebeom's thighs with gentle pressure until the tension ebbs away and Jaebeom looks loose and pliant beneath his hands. He looks around Jaebeom's living room for something to clean himself up with, lips pursed in thought, then gets up slowly, knees cracking, and makes his way over to the side where a box of tissues is peeking out under a couple of magazines.</p>
<p>He feels shameless as he rids himself of the used condom and wraps it up, standing naked and spent in the middle of Jaebeom's apartment. He cleans up a little more with another tissue then balls them up together and walks to the kitchen to put everything in the trash.</p>
<p>He catches sight of himself reflected in the glass front of the oven and stops to look at the marks Jaebeom's left on his body, the fingertip shaped bruises and faint nail marks, the stubble burn around his mouth.</p>
<p>His heart thumps in his chest, overwhelmed and warm and excited all at once. Jooheon’s not one to look back on past relationships and find all the things that broke them down in his head, but he can’t help but feel like things with Jaebeom are distinctly different. Maybe it’s simply because he’s older now, but he’s also just... happy.</p>
<p>He comes back to the living-room, still smiling as he meets Jaebeom’s eyes across the room before settling back into the couch with him. The kiss feels inevitable, sweet and pretty chaste, considering what they’ve done moments ago and that they’re both still naked. Jooheon sighs contently, resting his forehead against Jaebeom’s.</p>
<p>“I know it’s a dumb question, but - was that okay? Did you like it?”</p>
<p>"10 out of 10; would bang again," Jaebeom says, giggling when Jooheon smacks his arm.</p>
<p>“Keep giving me Naver reviews and you’re never banging again,” he replies blithely, without meaning a word of it. Jaebeom lets out a little growling noise, pulling Jooheon closer to him and shaking his head. </p>
<p>“Nah, that’d make other people want to bang you,” he says in the crook of Jooheon’s neck.</p>
<p>Jooheon smiles, kissing the side of Jaebeom's head.  “Hey, I've got an idea,” he says after a minute. He pushes himself back up on his arms, looking down at Jaebeom.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Let's go take a nap in your bed, instead of the couch.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom beams up at him. “This, I mean it: you’re a genius.”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs, all the way to the bedroom.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>“Hyung, I'm melting,” Jooheon whines when Jaebeom answers his phone. He's sprawled across the couch in his studio at the company because the air conditioning works marginally better there than in his apartment, but the heat is well and truly getting to him. He whines again when Jaebeom   just laughs at him, smug in his shop in its shady side street. “I'm serious. I might die. I think I'm dying.”</p>
<p>“You don't want to go to sauna with me after I get out of here then?” Jaebeom a  sks over the sound of the cash register chiming in the background.</p>
<p>“I would love to come and sweat some more with you in very few clothes, but I have a Skype conference meeting thing with a US team, so I have to stay here until it's a sensible time for them,” Jooheon pouts.</p>
<p>“What time will you be home?” Jaebeom asks, sounding like he’s moving around, opening and closing drawers maybe? Jooheon isn’t sure, but there’s something so endearing about the domesticity of it all. “I can always send you some risqué selcas,” he adds, and Jooheon chuckle-groans.</p>
<p>“As tempting as that sounds, I should really pay attention to this whole thing. I’ll be home around… 1-ish? That’s my guess. You don’t have to wait up for me.”</p>
<p>“I might not make it, but I’ll take some selcas for you to look at later anyway.”</p>
<p>“Just remember to shut the cats out this time,” Jooheon says as he rolls off the couch with a grunt to lie down on the cooler floor tiles. “It ruins the sexy experience if Yoshi's licking her butt in the background.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs again then there's a muffled sound where he must be covering the phone.  Jooheon watches a bead of sweat run down the inside of his elbow. “I gotta go, Honey-yah.  Something about being a professional in my place of work, according to Jinyoung-ah.”</p>
<p>“I mean, if the rest of us can manage it,” Jooheon says with as haughty a tone as he can muster.</p>
<p>“You're lying on your studio floor right now, aren't you?” Jaebeom says, apparently psychic now.</p>
<p>Jooheon grunts into the phone. “I’m <i>dying</i>, Beomie-hyung.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom makes a little sympathetic noise down the phone. “I’ll make sure to turn on the fan in your bedroom.” </p>
<p>“Thank you, you’re the best.” It still warms him inside to think of Jaebeom letting himself into Jooheon’s apartment, even bringing Nora over with him, on the evenings when Jooheon is working, if only for the pure, indulgent pleasure of getting to slip into bed next to Jaebeom. “If you’re staying to sleep, I require that you do so naked.”</p>
<p>“Hmm, I think I can probably comply with that,” Jaebeom says. Jooheon can hear Jinyoung in the background now, berating him for still being on the phone.</p>
<p>“You'll face consequences if you don't.”</p>
<p>“Oh, is that a promise?”</p>
<p>“You know it,” Jooheon replies, making Jaebeom chuckle. </p>
<p>“Can’t wait,” he says, softer, making Jooheon smile, all gooey inside. “See you later, Jooheon-ah.”</p>
<p>“Bye, hyung.”</p>
<p>They hang up, and Jooheon lies there for a while, basking in the domestic glow, before he forces himself to get back to work. At least, he gets to lose himself into it as usual, until he gets interrupted by another PD to get some dinner before the call. It gets him out of the studio for an hour, the heat still sticky, despite the late hour.</p>
<p>When they get back, Jooheon has enough time to use the staff showers in the basement and freshen up before he's in the conference room, nervously twiddling his pen while Siwon sets up the video call. It’s been a long time coming, too - an opportunity for Jooheon to work with some influential Western artists that had been mentioned before but kicked into high gear after he won his award. </p>
<p>He’s excited; email after email, discussion after discussion, he’s been keeping all of this close to his chest, not wanting to say anything before it was officially agreed upon, but they’re almost there. </p>
<p>Just before the call starts, he checks his phone to see if he’s got any messages, and there’s a picture from Jaebeom in their KKT chat, but it’s just of the cats, nothing indecent in the sauna. Sadly.</p>
<p>The call connects, though, and Jooheon kicks into his professional self, talking about producing an album in his best English, excitedly talking about songwriting and processes and getting genuine excitement back. This is a big deal, a huge deal, for Jooheon’s career and his personal achievements. While he knows he doesn’t have to make it in the West to be successful, knowing that Western artists are interested in working with him, that his music has made it to them, means the world to him. </p>
<p>And this isn’t just some small artist, either. This is <i>Pitbull</i> he’s talking to right now, exchanging ideas in stilted English and a bunch of song samples that he plays with his phone stuck to his computer speakers. </p>
<p>This is a chance in a lifetime kind of thing, and Jooheon doesn’t want to pass it up. </p>
<p>When the call ends, Jooheon is pumped, full of adrenaline, trying his best not to jump around as the words ‘we’ll send a contract over later today’ ring around his head.    </p>
<p>Siwon,   is beaming at him, clapping her hands like a little seal which makes him laugh. “Should I have bought champagne, oppa?” she asks as they clear out of the conference room, nudging him in the side with her elbow.</p>
<p>Jooheon shakes his head but he's still smiling. “At least let's wait until the contract is all tied up and signed,” he says, holding the door for her.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to get them printed and couriered to yours as soon as I have them?”</p>
<p>“Would you? That’d be amazing,” he replies as they walk through the building towards the exit. It’s, as he guessed, nearing 1am now, and the place is mainly empty, quiet. </p>
<p>“Of course!” </p>
<p>Jooheon grins. “Go get some sleep first though, okay? Thank you for being here,” he says, giving a little bow. She pats his arm. </p>
<p>“My pleasure, Jooheon-oppa. Go get some rest as well.”</p>
<p>Jooheon isn’t sure he’s going to manage, vibrating right out of his skin, but he nods anyway as they say their goodbyes on the sidewalk in front of the building, Jooheon stepping into the back of the car the agency booked for him to get home. </p>
<p>He checks his phone again as they drive through the neon lit streets, still fairly busy with people and cars at this end of the city. There are a few more messages from Jaebeom, pictures of the cats eating their dinner, then curled up on his side of the bed next to a shirtless Jaebeom with the caption “fourway with the girls”. Jooheon snorts, and then wonders if he’s going to get home and have to sleep on the couch because the cats have taken up his side of the bed. </p>
<p>At least it’s not as hot now. When he gets dropped off at the officetel, Jooheon tips his head back to the night air, sighing softly and closing his eyes, the buzz of excitement still rushing through his veins, making him smile to himself.  </p>
<p>He’s <i>so</i> excited. That’s the overwhelmingly predominant feeling coursing through him right now; he’s excited, for himself, his career, how much this can open up for him in the long term. There are a few other things he keeps on thinking about, too – he's nervous to finally tell Jaebeom, because he’s been sitting on this opportunity for a while, now, and telling him is going to make the whole thing so incredibly <i>real</i>. And he’s a little worried, too, because he might have to go to the US for this.   </p>
<p>But it’d just be a few weeks if he has to go at all. It’s too much of a dream come true for these other feelings to take over.</p>
<p>He all but skips through the building into the elevator, catching sight of his    smile in the mirrored wall at the back. He clears his throat and cracks his neck as the elevator ascends to his floor. He's humming under his breath as he enters the code for his door and steps inside, leaving his shoes and stripping out of his jeans as soon as the door is shut behind him.</p>
<p>“Oh, that's better,” he says aloud, groaning as the air hits his legs. He gets a bottle of water from the fridge and drinks half of it in one hit, not realizing how parched he was until the first drops hit his tongue. He wipes his chin with the back of his hand where he's spilled in his haste then leans against the kitchen counter for a second. The bedroom door is ajar when he looks over, and Yoshi slinks out a moment later, meowing quietly up at him as she sits by the food cupboard.</p>
<p>“Hey baby,” he whispers, crouching to scratch under her chin, smiling when she leans into it. “You’re not getting fed again.” he warns, looking into her eyes. He straightens up and stretches out after a moment longer, yawning louder than he intended. </p>
<p>He’s still feeling wired, but he can also feel the tiredness starting to seep in. Scratching his stomach, he walks over to the bedroom, slipping in as quietly as he can, eyes immediately meeting Nora’s, sitting up at the foot of the bed. Gucci seems to still be sleeping, curled between Jaebeom’s spread legs. </p>
<p>Nora yawns and jumps off as Jooheon walks closer, tugging his shirt off, leaving him in his underwear as he kneels on the bed, the cool air from the fan hitting his skin. He’s gentle when he reaches out, grazing his fingers along Jaebeom’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he says quietly, watching the steady rise and fall of Jaebeom's chest. He's only under the thin sheet that Jooheon has been using during this heatwave, but it's rucked up around his waist as though he's already got too hot and pushed it off his upper body. It means that Jooheon has the perfect view right now, really, as he traces the pale blue of a vein showing under Jaebeom's skin down his arm.</p>
<p>Jaebeom shifts, grumbling under his breath when he finds his legs pinned by the cat curled up between them, heavy enough to stop him from moving.  “Nora, stop it,” he mumbles, not really awake. “Go 'way.”</p>
<p>Jooheon huffs out a breath of laughter, endlessly endeared. He leans in closer, breath ghosting over Jaebeom’s skin before he presses a featherlight kiss to his jaw, then another to his cheek, then to his temple, and then to his forehead. </p>
<p>“Jaebeom-hyung,” Jooheon whispers in his ear, tracing the shell of it with his nose. Jaebeom stirs a little. “Beomie-yah, wake up. I have news.”</p>
<p>“Hmmmrph,” is what he gets in answer, before a long sigh, sounding a lot more awake. “Jooheon-ah?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, it's me, hyung,” Jooheon says, kissing Jaebeom's closed eyelids. Jaebeom makes a happy, sleepy sound and tilts his head back a little more, seeking out Jooheon's lips with his own in a familiar move for late nights like this when Jooheon comes home after he's asleep already.</p>
<p>“Welcome home,” Jaebeom says, mumbling the words against Jooheon's mouth. He drops a sleep-heavy hand on Jooheon's arm, squeezing lightly. “I'm stuck under a cat, I think.”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs, allowing himself to be a little louder now that Jaebeom is waking up. He looks down to where Gucci is utterly unbothered by her dad coming home and is still curled into a pretzel with her head resting on the inside of Jaebeom's knee. He pecks Jaebeom's lips once more then leans over to turn on the bedside lamp on his side, resulting in grumpy noise from Gucci who squirms and raises her head to glower at the source of the disturbance.</p>
<p>“Sorry darling, but this is important,” he says to her, and she glares at him for a second, leaning away when he reaches out to pet her, then jumps off the bed, making Jooheon pout. “She didn’t even let me pet her.”</p>
<p>“Well, you did wake her up at…” Jaebeom cracks an eye open to check his phone. “1:46am.”</p>
<p>Jooheon grins, pressing a hand to Jaebeom’s stomach. “I woke you up too, though, but you’ll let me pet you, right?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom stretches, arching off the bed and into Jooheon's touch. “Mmm, yes, any time you like.” Jooheon moves his hand up to Jaebeom's chest, spanning his short fingers over the muscle and flicking at the ring through Jaebeom's left nipple while he bends down to kiss the barbell through the right one. “Oh, yeah, I really don't mind being woken up for this,” Jaebeom says with a sigh.</p>
<p>“Not only this,” Jooheon says, dotting more kisses over Jaebeom's skin.  “I told you, I have news.”</p>
<p>“Good news?”</p>
<p>Jooheon pulls back enough to be able to smile up at Jaebeom, big and bright. “Very,” he says, leaning in for a kiss, brief and chaste. “Very good news.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom curls a hand around Jooheon’s hip, and under different circumstances, Jooheon would whine about the heat of his skin, but right now, it just feels nice, and Jooheon wants more of it. Jaebeom looks at him, waiting patiently with sleepy, fond eyes. </p>
<p>“I’ve been asked to produce tracks for a US artist,” he says finally, grinning. “I might work on the whole album!” </p>
<p>“Seriously?” Jaebeom blinks and snaps awake in seconds.  “Oh, my God, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you!” He sits up and grabs Jooheon's face in both hands, pressing a deep kiss to his mouth. “My beautiful genius.”</p>
<p>Jooheon beams under the praise, soaking it up. He loops his arms around Jaebeom’s neck, pressing closer, kissing Jaebeom back, lips straying to Jaebeom’s jaw, his neck, the slope of his shoulder, down to his collarbones. “I haven’t signed the contract yet, but I’ve been waiting for so long to tell you,” he murmurs against Jaebeom’s skin, continuing to kiss him everywhere, fingers skimming down along his back.</p>
<p>“Why didn't you?” Jaebeom asks, pushing the sheets away from him now that the cats have gone and oh, now Jooheon can see that he was naked under there this whole time.</p>
<p>“Would've made it too real,” Jooheon says, kissing the trail of hair under Jaebeom's belly button.  “Wait one moment,” he adds before he gets off the bed again and goes over to the door, closing and locking it. </p>
<p>Jaebeom's making grabby hand motions at him from the bed when he turns back around.  Jooheon slides his underwear down off his hips and lets them fall to the floor. He knee walks on the bed, in between Jaebeom’s spread legs, before climbing over them, sitting down on his thighs. When he leans forward, their cocks brush, both of them twitching with interest.</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to jinx it, you know? What if it didn’t work out?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums, carding his fingers through Jooheon’s hair on both sides of his head, making Jooheon moan gently when his fingers dig in, massaging Jooheon’s scalp. </p>
<p>“I’d still be proud of you, and support you,” he says, and Jooheon groans louder, rolling his hips.</p>
<p>“Hm, keep talking dirty to me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? You wanna hear how happy you make me? How much I want you to succeed? So you can spend all your money on me and the cats? Buy us a great big house and a nice car,” Jaebeom says, looking into Jooheon's eyes as he speaks.</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs heartily, but his cheeks are warm, and his heart feels so, so very content. He leans down, elbows on either side of Jaebeom’s head and fingers in his hair as he kisses Jaebeom, deep and filthy and loving all at once. When he pulls back with a wet noise, he reaches down, taking both of their stirring cocks in his hand.</p>
<p>“Knew you only wanted me for my money,” Jooheon says with a slightly strangled voice, breathing heavier as he moves his hand a little, mainly to make the two of them move against each other.</p>
<p>“And your body,” Jaebeom says with a gasp. His hands are on Jooheon's thighs now, sliding up to his butt, grabbing two handfuls and pulling Jooheon in closer. “You should ride me.”</p>
<p>Jooheon feels his cock twitch in his hand in response. He nods, nose rubbing against Jaebeom's. “You should get me ready, then.”</p>
<p>He would have been fine with this, just rutting against Jaebeom, but if Jaebeom’s awake enough to want more, Jooheon is not going to say no. He spreads his legs further, lowering himself further, closer to Jaebeom, feeling Jaebeom’s hands move restlessly against his ass. </p>
<p>“Under different circumstances I’d say you woke me up, you should do all the work and just let me watch, but considering your news, I guess you deserve more than that,” Jaebeom says, trying to be all matter-of-fact about it, but failing, obviously amused and turned on. He reaches back into Jooheon’s bedside drawer for the lube, bringing it out quickly.  </p>
<p>“Tell me more about this big house I'm buying us,” Jooheon says as Jaebeom's wet fingers circle his hole, his other hand keeping his cheeks spread.  He shivers when the air blown by the fan reaches the new exposed part of him.</p>
<p>“Yeah? That's kinda kinky,” Jaebeom says, turning his head to kiss the inside of Jooheon's wrist. “Well, there's your studio, and my studio - “</p>
<p>“Oh, you get one too?”</p>
<p>“- for photography,” Jaebeom finishes, ignoring the interruption. “And the cats' bedroom. And our bedroom.”</p>
<p>“Ours, huh?” Jooheon groans when Jaebeom curls his fingers inside, moving so slowly, but reaching as deep as he can.</p>
<p>“Ours,” Jaebeom says, eyes dark. </p>
<p>“With a big bed?”</p>
<p>“The biggest.”</p>
<p>“Not too big,” Jooheon says, rolling his hips in a circle as Jaebeom slides another finger in. “I wanna - ugh, god, there, yes - wanna cuddle.”</p>
<p>“Of course you would,” Jaebeom replies, voice rough, dripping with arousal. “We can get a big couch like at my place, too. For cuddling.”</p>
<p>“That’s be so - so <i>good</i> when the hyungs are around,” Jooheon replies, although his ‘good’ isn’t about his best friends. </p>
<p>Jaebeom lets out a tiny, pained noise. “Don’t talk about them when I’m three fingers deep into you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon giggles, pushing his hips back to get Jaebeom’s fingers even deeper in. “Sorry,” he murmurs, punctuating it with a moan.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to keep going?” Jaebeom asks and for a second Jooheon isn't sure if he means with his fingers or talking but the answer is yes either way so he nods, mouth hanging open.</p>
<p>“It'll have a garden, and a pool, and a grill so I can cook your favorites whenever you want,” Jaebeom whispers now, almost as if it's a secret, something he doesn't want anyone else to hear, only Jooheon. “We'll put a big couch outside as well for the summer, so I can fuck you under the stars.”</p>
<p>Jooheon curses, genuinely turned on by the idea. He straightens up a little and bats Jaebeom’s hand away, gritting his teeth as he clenches around nothing for a moment as he grabs the condom, rolling it down onto Jaebeom’s cock.</p>
<p>“Better be a fenced-up g-garden, then,” Jooheon sighs with pleasure as he guides Jaebeom’s cock inside him, sliding down slowly until he’s sitting on Jaebeom. He stops there, just feeling him inside, eyes fluttering shut and fingers digging into Jaebeom’s pecs. “God, you feel good.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom moans in response, hands roaming over Jooheon's thighs, thumbs brushing the insides then up over his hip bones. Jooheon's sweating again and the fan isn't doing much more than moving their own heat around.</p>
<p>But he doesn’t care, tipping his head back as he lets himself feel Jaebeom, doesn’t move for a while longer, wanting to just feel full and a little on edge. Jaebeom whines softly, not complaining, but his hips are trying to move under Jooheon, in tiny, aborted thrusts upwards, that steal Jooheon’s breath. </p>
<p>“I’ll buy you the best house of your dreams,” Jooheon says, a moan wrapped around the words. He moves a little, hips doing figures of eight. “Anything you want.”</p>
<p>“Us,” Jaebeom says, gasping as he digs his fingers into Jooheon's hips hard. “B-buy it for us, not just m-me.”</p>
<p>Jooheon can't hold himself still any longer at that, collapsing forwards to kiss Jaebeom, letting him push up from the bed, driving his cock in even deeper. The change in angle makes Jooheon see stars behind his eyelids, crying out into Jaebeom's mouth when Jaebeom starts thrusting into him properly.</p>
<p>Jaebeom fucks into Jooheon in deep, hard, sharp moves, but keeps his rhythm slow, allowing Jooheon to get his breath back in between each thrust, only to have it stolen all over again every time Jaebeom thrusts back in. It’s making Jooheon’s brain feel like thick molasses, the only thing he’s able to parse is how hot and sweaty they are, how good Jaebeom feels, and that Jooheon loves him, even though he’s never said it out loud.</p>
<p>It just feels obvious. There’s no one he wants to share such news with more, share such a moment with more - no one he wants to talk about such domestic bliss with like this. But it’s also so cliché to blurt it out now, as he’s meeting Jaebeom’s thrusts in the middle, the two of them letting their bodies dictate the pace.</p>
<p>Jaebeom keeps talking softly, words coming slower now, more labored breathing than speech, but Jooheon hears every word of it. He's so hard but he isn't desperate to come yet, just feels so, so good.</p>
<p>“Jooheonie...” Jaebeom's throaty moan makes Jooheon shudder, tingling from his head to his toes.</p>
<p>This is exactly what Jooheon wants. The bedroom feels like a bubble, a liminal space in the chaos that their lives can be, intimate and deeply personal. Jooheon straightens back up a little, once more changing the angle of Jaebeom’s cock inside him, once more guiding the pace. He keeps it the same, but he draws up until only the very tip of Jaebeom’s cock is still inside him, and then moves back down in one fluid, hard slide, making the both of them cry out together. Jooheon bites his lip on an additional groan when Jaebeom reaches out, wrapping a slightly clammy hand around his erection. Jooheon holds himself still for a moment, lets himself be surrounded and filled by Jaebeom; his cock, his hand, his scent, all of it entwined with Jooheon's senses.</p>
<p>He grinds his hips in a circle before pulling off again, his hands slipping on Jaebeom's skin. He swallows hard, goosebumps raising all over his arms as he digs his fingers in, curling them around Jaebeom’s shoulders for leverage. He’s all curled up over Jaebeom, the two of them sweating and moaning and moving together, the feelings absolutely mind-blowing.</p>
<p>And maybe it’s because his mind is blown that Jooheon says what he does next. “You should come inside me,” he grits out, hopefully clear that he means without a condom. “I’m clean.”</p>
<p>The company gives enough opportunities to see doctors and have regular check-ups, thankfully, and Jooheon’s always been very careful. </p>
<p>He wants to feel Jaebeom, fully, like he never has before. He wants, he wants - he so badly wants.</p>
<p>“You - oh, god - you -” Jaebeom stutters, his hands on Jooheon's back, sliding down until his fingers are between Jooheon's cheeks, touching where his hole is stretched around Jaebeom's dick.</p>
<p>“Please, Jaebeomie-hyung, I want you, just you,” Jooheon says, pleading, delirious with need.</p>
<p>Jaebeom curses loudly and then Jooheon's being flipped over onto his back, legs pushed to the sides as Jaebeom kisses him breathless before pulling out and tugging the condom off. Jooheon looks up at him, watching his hands folding up the spent rubber and tossing it to one side. Jaebeom's dick is thick and hard and wet. Jooheon aches with how much he wants; he could come from it, from how much he wants this, the need enough to push him over the edge if he tried; but Jaebeom is quickly moving back between his legs, and Jooheon doesn’t have to want it anymore, because then, he has it.</p>
<p>He sucks in a deep, wet breath as Jaebeom fills him up once again, but it’s completely different now. He's so hyper aware of the heat of Jaebeom's cock, of how wet he is, both with lube and pre-come, of the noise their bodies make as they come together and move apart. Jooheon gives into it, lets Jaebeom make love to him, wrapping his legs around Jaebeom's back.</p>
<p>It feels incredible. If he still had the ability to form words, Jooheon would say as much, but he’s not able to, his brain short-circuited with pleasure. He can only moan Jaebeom’s name, tilting his hips up and wordlessly asking for more, which Jaebeom gives him. He increases his pace, fucking Jooheon harder, rocking him higher up on the bed and making the headboard bang against the wall loudly.</p>
<p>Jooheon digs his heels into the back of Jaebeom's thighs, keeping him close, only letting him pull out a tiny amount each time. It's a dirty grind, rubbing his trapped cock against Jaebeom's abs. Jaebeom keeps on muttering filth, talking about how tight and hot Jooheon is, how he’s close, close, so close, but Jooheon barely hears him over the creaking of the bed. He digs his fingers into Jaebeom’s hair, pulling him into messy kisses, more about swapping spit and panting into each other’s mouths than anything else. </p>
<p>Jaebeom comes first, and it’s the most exhilarating feeling Jooheon has ever experienced.</p>
<p>Jaebeom buries his face in Jooheon's neck, riding out his high in shuddering waves. If someone asked Jooheon to describe how it feels, he'd be at a loss to find the words. It's hot and messy and squelchy and so good that Jooheon is hanging on by a thread, waiting.</p>
<p>Jaebeom keeps kissing his neck, hips jerking weakly, hands clenching the pillows under Jooheon's head. The way he feels like he’s balancing on a blade’s edge is making him feel like he’s about to lose his entire mind, but in a good way, focusing on the pleasure, exacerbated by Jaebeom’s every tiny movement, every twitch and jerk, every kiss. It’s everything he loves, the desperation that mixes with the desire to stay hanging by that one thread for as long as possible, and Jooheon moans, tilts his head back, presses his fingertips against Jaebeom’s scalp as he moves his hips back and forth, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he still refuses to ask to be touched.</p>
<p>Jaebeom doesn’t ask, though, dragging his fingers through sweat down Jooheon’s chest, and wrapping them around Jooheon’s aching cock, making him cry out. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” Jaebeom says right in Jooheon’s ear. “So good.”</p>
<p>Jooheon whimpers. He can feel his cock leaking over Jaebeom's fingers, almost like he's coming in one slow release, but he's still wound up so tight that he knows that's not the case.</p>
<p>“Next time, we'll prep you better first,” Jaebeom's saying as he moves his hand in steady rhythmic strokes. “And then after I come inside you, I'll eat you out.”</p>
<p>Shuddering at the words and the mental images, Jooheon feels tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, entirely overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through him, the feelings. Now that it’s so obvious to him, he wants to say I love you so badly, but all that leaves his mouth are labored breaths and whimpering moans, bearing down on Jaebeom’s cock still inside him, fucking up into his hand.</p>
<p>“Come for me, baby, c’mon, show me.” </p>
<p>And Jooheon does, crying a few tears of disbelief and pure relief as his orgasm tears through him, taking him to pieces.</p>
<p>“Shh, shh, it's okay,” Jaebeom says, voice both soft and rasping at the same time. “I've got you.” He keeps his hand on Jooheon's pulsing dick, squeezing every last drop out of him, until his stomach is quivering with over stimulation and he has to push Jaebeom's hand away.</p>
<p>Tears are still leaking from his eyes when he meets Jaebeom's gaze, seeing the emotions he's feeling reflected back at him in the dim light of the bedroom. Jaebeom's thumb brushes away a few from his cheek and then he's kissing Jooheon's eyelids, one then the other, shushing and murmuring comforting sounds.</p>
<p>Jooheon isn't prepared for the way it feels when Jaebeom pulls out of him, the way he feels so exposed and empty, like part of him is suddenly lost. The sticky wet sensations follow quickly after as his hole clenches and unclenches, letting the mix of lube and come trickle out in warm waves. He thinks back to what Jaebeom   said about eating him out afterwards next time and his cock gives a little jump, dribbling on his stomach. He knows he's going to be sore when he wakes up later, but he doesn't care about anything other than being held in Jaebeom's arms right now.</p>
<p>“That was... That was mind blowing,” Jaebeom whispers, kissing over Jooheon's face, rubbing their noses together. He pauses there, so close to Jooheon that his eyelashes brush Jooheon's cheek when he blinks and says, “I think I'm falling in love with you. I <i>have</i> fallen in love with you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s stomach swoops - did Jaebeom have the same thoughts as Jooheon did, or is it the mere intensity of the moment that led him to saying this? Jooheon isn’t sure, but what he knows is that he’s feeling it too, and his face breaks into a grin as he gives a watery laugh, his whole body electrified and spineless at the same time.</p>
<p>“I’m in love with you too, Jaebeom-hyung.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? You are?” Jaebeom says, matching Jooheon's grin. He rubs away more tears from Jooheon's cheeks and the kiss they share is clumsy and giggly, teeth clashing as neither of them stops smiling for it. “It's not just 'cause you blew my mind with sex, you know.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I - me too,” Jooheon says, nodding. His heart is still thumping hard in his chest, emotions bubbling over everywhere.</p>
<p>“Don’t think I’ve ever got you that speechless before,” Jaebeom laughs, sounding so pleased about it. </p>
<p>“Well, the sex was really, really good,” Jooheon whispers. “I’m still - catching my breath. But I mean it. I love you.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums, sounding content. “I love you too,” he replies, and it sounds easy. He kisses Jooheon again. “I need to get up.”</p>
<p>Jooheon frowns immediately, arms tightening around Jaebeom. “Why?”</p>
<p>“You need a little clean-up.”</p>
<p>Jooheon grimaces. He'd been trying to ignore the growing feeling of discomfort, not wanting to break the moment. “Don't say it like that,” he says, whining a little. He pouts up at Jaebeom, getting another kiss on his bottom lip and another laugh from Jaebeom.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, sorry,” Jaebeom says, rolling them both over to the other side - Jaebeom's side - of the bed in one smooth move, leaving Jooheon lying on top of him.  Jooheon can feel something running down the inside of his thigh as his knees slip either side of Jaebeom's hips, making him shiver again.  “Think you can walk to the shower?”</p>
<p>“Why, do you think you've fucked me legless?”</p>
<p>“Well, haven’t I?” </p>
<p>....he has a point.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Like every good K-drama, it's time for a time-skip... oh, and a teeny tiny bit of angst.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jooheon wakes   up one morning and it's six months since he and Jaebeom met, the summer is fading into autumn and he's due to leave for the States in a few weeks, and he's in love with a man who leaves him breathless on the daily.</p>
<p>He's at Jaebeom's this morning, having crawled into his bed at midnight after Jaebeom texted him while he was working to say that he and the cats were all hanging out on the big couch because Jaebeom has some kind of vendetta against Jooheon's. He’s so comfortable, unwilling to move away from the warmth of Jaebeom’s bed, even though the owner himself has   left the warmth of the covers already. Jooheon stretches, groaning gently as the bedroom door opens and Jaebeom appears in the doorway, brushing his teeth. Nora sneaks past him, jumping on the bed next to Jooheon. </p>
<p>“Why are you up already?” Jooheon asks as he runs his fingers over the top of Nora’s head. “Sunday’s your day off.”</p>
<p>“I could say the same to you,” Jaebeom says, raising his voice as he wanders back into the bathroom to spit and rinse his mouth. “You usually sleep longer than this.”  The sink runs and then stops and then Jaebeom is back in the doorway. an indistinct blur without Jooheon putting his glasses on but familiar by now that he knows Jaebeom's pjs are slung low on his hips and he’s only got a tank top on his upper half.  “I was going to bring you breakfast but Nora wanted to be let in before I had finished in the bathroom.”</p>
<p>Jooheon stretches again, kicking his feet a little under the covers, arms raised behind his head to grab the headboard.  “Mmm, well, I won't say no,” he says through a satisfied groan as he relaxes back again. He closes his eyes for a moment then grabs Jaebeom's pillow from his side and hugs it to his chest, pressing his face in it. “When I go to America, I'm taking your pillow.”</p>
<p>“When you go to America, I’m taking half your hoodies,” Jaebeom replies without missing a beat, walking into the room to grab the hoodie Jooheon was wearing yesterday and pulling it on. He moves closer, leaning over Jooheon in bed.</p>
<p>“Go back to sleep for a bit, hm? I’ll be back soon.”</p>
<p>“Kiss first,” Jooheon says, closing his eyes again but stretching his neck out and pursing his lips.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles but comes to peck him on the mouth and then the forehead. “You're in charge, Nora,” he says and Jooheon can hear Jaebeom make kissy noises at her too, then her rumbling purr starting up.</p>
<p>Jooheon dozes, not fully asleep but definitely not awake either. He's cocooned perfectly, hugging Jaebeom's pillow, surrounded by his scent on all sides; Nora's warm paws pressed against his shoulder.</p>
<p>He rouses when the door opens again and Jaebeom's shuffling footsteps come closer, followed by the pitter-pat of the other cats as well. Jaebeom steps into the bedroom, and Jooheon makes a happy little noise at seeing him, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?” Jaebeom asks, frowning.</p>
<p>“I was gonna put coffee on. And I need to pee,” he replies, grinning as Jaebeom’s face smooths out.</p>
<p>“Go to the bathroom. I’ll take care of the rest.”</p>
<p>Jooheon grabs his glasses from the bedside table and slides them on, blinking as Jaebeom's handsome face comes into focus. “Mm, I like it when you spoil me,” he says, tracing his finger along Jaebeom's arm as he walks past him to the bathroom. He would steal a kiss but he's well aware of how bad his mouth tastes right now. He pees, washes his face, brushes his teeth, all the whole thinking lazily about how to reward Jaebeom for getting him breakfast. When he comes back to the bedroom, the cats are all sprawled on the foot of the bed, looking at the unfolded tray, laden with breakfast dishes. It might be dangerous to eat while in bed, but Jooheon can’t find it in himself to care, feeling too warm inside about the gesture.</p>
<p>Jaebeom's sitting up against the pillows, arms open wide for Jooheon to slide into when he gets around to his side. “Thank you, baby,” he says, kissing Jaebeom. “This looks great.”</p>
<p>Jooheon pauses. Then says, “I'm glad hyungs weren't around to hear me call you that.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom gives a chuckle, kissing back and making room for Jooheon to settle against his chest. “You're welcome.”</p>
<p>There’s meat and rice and kimchi, staples foods that make Jooheon’s mouth water. They get started, feeding each other as the cats meow around them, making Jooheon tsks at them and preventing Jaebeom from giving them bits of grilled meat. Jaebeom pouts at him when he slaps his hand.</p>
<p>“Cats eat cat food, humans eat human food,” he scolds.</p>
<p>“But look at their faces!” Jaebeom says, pouting harder. Jooheon can’t believe he has to be the one that stands his ground on this. </p>
<p>“I don’t want my daughters to get unhealthy habits.” </p>
<p>Jaebeom tackles Jooheon sideways on the bed, covering him with his body. “You’re an unhealthy habit. Maybe I should just tie you down and have my way with you.”</p>
<p>“And you really think that wouldn’t be rewarding me further?” Jooheon giggles, making himself more comfortable under Jaebeom’s weight, legs parting so that Jaebeom falls in between them. “Seems like all I do is win, here.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I'll make you wait for it,” Jaebeom says, voice dropping to a sultry tone. “You like that, but I've never made you wait all day for it.”</p>
<p>Jooheon swallows. “All day?”    The thought makes Jooheon shiver in a very pleasant way. The idea of it, of giving up any kind of power to Jaebeom, leaving his release entirely in Jaebeom’s hands… it’s intoxicating.</p>
<p>“Mmm. You think you could do it? You think you could last all day for me? Naked for me, hard for me, dripping for me.” Jaebeom presses his weight down harder for a second then lets go, releasing Jooheon's hands and sitting back up to take a piece of fruit from the tray and bite into it, leaving Jooheon blinking up at the ceiling, body tingling from the sudden loss of Jaebeom's weight.</p>
<p>“Buh,” he says, all eloquence escaping him for a second.</p>
<p>“Did I break you?” Jaebeom asks, grinning smugly because he knows he did. </p>
<p>Damn, but Jooheon is going to miss him like crazy when he’s away.</p>
<p>“You are an evil mastermind.”</p>
<p>“But you love me, right,” Jaebeom says, a statement not a question.</p>
<p>Jooheon rolls his eyes, but he still curls his fingers into the waistband of Jaebeom’s sweatpants, tugging lightly. “Yeah, I love you.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Jooheon has three suitcases of varying sizes open on the floor of his bedroom and none of them are packed yet. He'd fought off Kihyun's offer to come over and help, but he's almost wishing he hadn't because this is boring and even though Jaebeom is here, sitting on his bed, playing music through the Bluetooth speaker, keeping the cats occupied when they try and 'help', he'd much rather be spending his remaining time with Jaebeom doing something involving a lot less clothes.</p>
<p>“I saw that,” he says when he catches Jaebeom taking another one of his hoodies back out of the suitcase and stuffing it under the pillow behind him. It's his favorite yellow one, one sleeve sticking out like an incriminating beacon.</p>
<p>“You saw nothing,” Jaebeom replies without missing a beat, and Jooheon straightens out to give him a look, fond but also a tiny bit exasperated. </p>
<p>“If you keep on stealing my clothes, I’m going to freeze out there.”</p>
<p>“You’re going to California, you won’t miss a couple hoodies.”</p>
<p>Jooheon hums, tossing a t-shirt into one of the suitcases, covering Nora’s form, who snuck out from Jaebeom’s arms to sit square in the middle of Jooheon’s stuff. She meows unhappily, and Jooheon chuckles as he takes her out, putting her back on the bed. Doing so brings him close to Jaebeom, and he shifts, putting his hands on Jaebeom’s knees and leaning in. </p>
<p>“You should give me a couple of yours in return. So I can feel like I’m going to sleep in your arms.”</p>
<p>That’s the part that worries him the most, the sleeping without Jaebeom thing. Jooheon’s gotten so used to it that realizing he won’t have it for a while sits heavy in his chest.</p>
<p>“Cheesy, so cheesy,” Jaebeom says, but he kisses Jooheon and nods, so Jooheon takes it as a win. “Wait, you're not going to get one of those weird anime body pillows and dress it up like me, are you?”</p>
<p>“Oh, now that’s an idea. I could take pillow-Beomie-hyung on adventures with me. Send you pictures!”</p>
<p>They’re laughing, but it’s all pretty bittersweet   . They can laugh about it now, but he knows that it will soon be way too real a prospect and they’ll be apart, properly apart not just next door to one another, for the first time since they got together. Jooheon pulls back to keep packing, however slow going it is. He can’t keep avoiding it. This is such a big career opportunity, but he hates the idea of leaving Jaebeom behind like this. Hates that he can’t have everything line up just perfect. </p>
<p>“Hey, I was thinking,” Jaebeom says after a little while, just as Jooheon is exiting the bathroom with an armful of toiletries. He dumps them on the bed and climbs on to sit cross-legged facing Jaebeom.  “In a few weeks, when you're settled and you know your schedule or whatever, I could fly over and see you? Jinyoung-ah can run the shop by himself and maybe - maybe Kihyun-hyung would be able to catsit?”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s heart leaps in his chest, and a grin breaks over his face as he surges forward, tackling Jaebeom into the bed, the cats scattering with indignant noises. “I’d love that,” Jooheon says, a little breathless with how happy the idea makes him. The thought of getting to see Jaebeom after weeks rather than months, knowing that he’s willing to work at it too, it makes the feelings swell in Jooheon’s whole body. “Yes. Let’s do that. Please.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, wrapping his arms around Jooheon and squirming when Jooheon peppers his face with kisses. “Okay, okay, I'll see if there's any airline deals on.”</p>
<p>“Don't be stupid,” Jooheon says, rolling his eyes. He leans on one hand next to Jaebeom’s head and brushes their noses together before dropping a more lingering kiss on Jaebeom’s lips. “I'm gonna upgrade you, fly you out first class.”   </p>
<p>“Oh yeah?” Jaebeom asks, pushing one hand under Jooheon’s shirt to rest on the small of his back. “What other perks do I get? Is it like a loyalty scheme?”</p>
<p>Jooheon smirks, arching into Jaebeom’s touch. He really should keep packing, but Jaebeom is so tempting and it’s easy to get swept up in the playfulness of the moment. “Did I not tell you? You’ve been earning Honeymiles this whole time.”</p>
<p>“Honeymiles?” Jaebeom slides his hand further up Jooheon’s back then drags his fingers lightly down Jooheon’s spine. That gets a noise out of Jooheon halfway between a mewl and a groan. “How many do I get for letting you rub off against me?”</p>
<p>“Not as many as you do for sucking my dick,” Jooheon says, gasping when Jaebeom puts his hand down the back of Jooheon’s sweatpants. “Oh, fuck.”</p>
<p>“And fingering you?”</p>
<p>“All of them,” Jooheon says, closing his eyes as he tips his head back, grinding down into Jaebeom’s crotch as his cock stirs. “So many Honeymiles. Th-thank you for your l-loyalty.”</p>
<p>It’s a blur of movement and Jooheon’s carefully arranged piles get thrown into total disarray as they tumble on the bed, until they’re both sweaty and panting and covered in each other’s come.</p>
<p>When he gets his breath back, Jooheon reluctantly, pushes himself up, sitting back on his heels as he surveys both the state of his room and the state of his packing. </p>
<p>“Hm. Maybe I do need to call Kihyun-hyung.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>It's hot and sunny when Jooheon lands in LA, as expected, but still a shock to his system after spending half a day on an airplane. His phone doesn't want to connect to a network either, so he's just squinting into the distance, hoping that one of the names being held up by the line of drivers is his. He moves closer, overwhelmed by the mix of languages being spoken around him, trying to force his brain to switch over to English but he's tired and hungry and desperately wants to change out of the clothes he travelled in. </p>
<p>Finally, he spots his name, Jooheon Lee, scrawled across a small whiteboard in the hands of a driver who looks (Jooheon cautiously hopes) Korean; he's not sure he's up to making small talk in English right now. He greets the driver with a bow, handing off some of his bags and collapsing into the back seat of the car. The windows are blissfully tinted, but he keeps his sunglasses on anyway, closing his eyes behind them once he's fastened his seatbelt.</p>
<p>Jooheon almost cries in relief when the driver gets in the car and starts speaking to him in Korean, letting him know how long the drive is likely to be - he adds half an hour to the time in his head to account for LA traffic.  He hasn't been here for a while, but he remembers that well enough.</p>
<p>He spends a good twenty minutes of the journey turning his phone off and on again, trying to convince it to connect to a network,  but only results in wanting to throw his phone into the next lane of traffic. He wants to check in, tell everyone that he’s made it - it’s early enough in Korea that if he could get his phone to connect, he’d have a chance to catch Jaebeom in a quick call before he has to take off for work. </p>
<p>But it’s to no avail, Jooheon gives up until he gets to the hotel, where he’ll get Wi-Fi, at the very least. He’s so tired, and cranky, and he wants to hear Jaebeom’s voice. </p>
<p>It takes until he’s in his room and connected to the hotel’s network for him to get to try and call back home. He texts his hyungs, too, just to let them know he’s landed fine, but he’s most antsy to get in touch with Jaebeom. He paces his room while he waits for Jaebeom to pick up, chewing on the edge of his thumb. He looks even worse than he feels when he sees his reflection in the mirror over the desk, purple bags under bloodshot eyes, hair wild from time spent tugging at it in frustration.  </p>
<p>He flops onto his back on the bed when Jaebeom answers and Jooheon can hear the quiet sounds of the shop in the background, jazz playing softly.</p>
<p>“Heyyyy, you’re alive,” Jaebeom says before the music fades into the background even more as Jaebeom obviously goes to the back room or the office.  “How was the flight? Did you get to your hotel okay? Is it hot? Ugh, I’m jealous, I want to go to the beach.” </p>
<p>Jooheon feels like a melodramatic teen, but he blames the tiredness on the few tears that leak from his eyes and run down into his ears . He can’t find his voice to reply and he lets Jaebeom babble on for a few seconds longer.</p>
<p>“Jinyoung-ah said that he checked and there were supposed to be some good movies on your flight,” Jaebeom says.  “Did you watch any? Or were you just sleeping the whole time? Honey-yah, you there? Hello?” Jaebeom asks, distant for a second as if he's taken the phone from his ear to check the connection.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I'm here, hyung,” Jooheon says, voice cracking a little from disuse. “Just really tired. I feel pretty out of it.”</p>
<p>“Get some sleep, baby,” Jaebeom replies, and it makes Jooheon’s heart seize up as it sinks in just how far away from home he is right now and how alone.   </p>
<p>“It’s mid-afternoon here. I shouldn’t.” <i>I don’t know if I can sleep without you.</i></p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles. “You have a terrible sleep schedule at the best of times, and this isn’t that. Just consider it a nap.”</p>
<p>“Wish you were here,” Jooheon says, pouting and rubbing a hand over his eyes, trying to stop himself from crying more. Jaebeom makes a pained noise on the other end.</p>
<p>“Put on my hoodie. I’ll stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep.”</p>
<p>“I wanted to shower, I feel gross,” Jooheon grumbles, knowing that he sounds like a petulant child.</p>
<p>“Okay, then call me back when you get into bed,” Jaebeom says, sounding far too reasonable. Well, Jooheon supposes, one of them needs to be. “It's not busy here yet, and Jinyoung is training up Youngjae to help out when I come to visit.”</p>
<p>It makes a fresh stream of hot tears flow down his cheeks, but with less sadness now, feeling heartened by the knowledge that Jaebeom is already actively preparing to visit him. He clears his throat and wipes his face with his sleeve, sniffling once as quietly as he can but it’s loud enough that he’s sure Jaebeom has noticed now.</p>
<p>“Don’t cry, baby,” Jaebeom says softly.  “Go take your shower.” </p>
<p>“Okay,” Jooheon says, peeling himself off the bed and up onto his feet. He opens his suitcase and pulls out his wash bag, keeping Jaebeom on the line as he does so, just listening to him breathing and hum along with whatever music is playing in the store that Jooheon can’t quite hear. </p>
<p>He takes the phone with him into the bathroom and puts it on speaker while he undresses and turns on the water in the shower. “I feel bad,” he says when he picks the phone back up. “I want to hear about your day.”</p>
<p>“Ah, don’t worry,” Jaebeom says, and Jooheon can just picture the shrug that goes with it. “I promise nothing exciting has happened.”</p>
<p>Jooheon nods even though it’s only a voice call and clears his throat. “Bye for now then. I love you.”</p>
<p>“Hyung loves you too.”  </p>
<p>At least, that makes Jooheon smile. He ends the call, feeling like both his limbs and his clothes are weighing tons, but he manages to step into the shower, and he has to admit that the hotel is a nice one. He traces little patterns in the condensation of the shower glass wall, music notes and sequences, drifting off a little under the beat of the hot, steady water. He shuffles out after a while, feeling refreshed, but also even more tired, somehow. </p>
<p>Biting his lip, he sends a text while he’s still naked, pretty much air drying in the middle of his fancy hotel room. </p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>can you facetime?</i></p>
<p>He goes back to the bathroom and moisturizes   his face and brushes his teeth while he waits for a reply, glancing at his phone on the counter next to him every now and then. His phone doesn't chime until he's back in the bedroom, setting up his iPad on the bedside table so he can listen to music.</p>
<p><b>jaebeom-hyung:</b> <i>yeah,I'm in the office now</i></p>
<p><b>me:</b> <i>lock the door</i> he sends back then hits call. Jaebeom doesn’t make him wait this time, the call connecting and his face appearing on Jooheon’s phone, making him inhale sharply. </p>
<p>“Hi,” he says, feeling breathless. Jaebeom smiles, and the old office chair he’s sitting in creaks when he leans back further. </p>
<p>“Hello again. Feeling better?” </p>
<p>“Hmm,” Jooheon nods. He suddenly feels awake, getting to look at Jaebeom in real time like this. Jaebeom, who raises an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“I thought I told you to put on my hoodie, Jooheonie,” he says, almost scolding.</p>
<p>“Need to dry off first,” Jooheon says, tilting the phone so that the camera is looking down the length of his body. “I'm still wet.” When he brings the phone back up to his face, Jaebeom is looking up at the ceiling and mumbling a curse to himself.</p>
<p>He goes over to the desk and props the phone up, making sure that he's in view as he grabs his towel from the bed and starts drying off, unashamed and hoping that Jaebeom appreciates the view. Especially when he lifts one foot and puts it on the chair to dry his leg. </p>
<p>“Thought you were tired, Honey-yah.”</p>
<p>Jooheon is about to deny it but he’s caught out by a large yawn that he can’t stave off.</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, looking fond as they watch each other through the phone screens. “How about we pick this up later when I get home. I think the times will work out, if you don't sleep all the way until tomorrow. Uh, today. Tomorrow for you, today for me?”</p>
<p>“Something like that,” Jooheon says, getting up again to find one of Jaebeom's hoodies.  He slips it on, still naked underneath, and turns the lights off, making sure the curtains are pulled tight. He gets into bed with his phone, putting it on Jaebeom's side of the bed. “Sing to me?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom makes an agreeable noise, even if he’s obviously a little flushed, and starts singing a lullaby softly.</p>
<p>Jooheon smiles, pulling the hood up over his head and turning his face into it for a second, breathing in. It smells of Jaebeom's aftershave and shampoo, like their beds at home.</p>
<p>He’s asleep in moments, surrounded by the smells and sounds that he loves most in the world.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>It's like Jooheon's feet don't touch the floor for the next week or so.  He gets sick of waking up in a sterile hotel room every day, so he checks out and finds an Airbnb to rent for the rest of the time instead.  It's better in that his bed doesn't feel so stiff and he can leave his things all over the place, but it's lonelier when he comes home late and there's not even a doorman to greet him, let alone his fur babies and his Jaebeom.</p>
<p>Jooheon and Jaebeom  try to talk as much as possible, but between the time differences and Jooheon’s unpredictable schedule, it’s harder than he’d like. So there are days where Jooheon’s temper is shorter than usual, and he struggles with his English, with trying to convey his thoughts to the people he works with. At one point, he has to come clean and explain himself - he’s a little homesick, he misses his cats, his partner. It helps with defusing the tension, to kick work back into a good rhythm. </p>
<p>They break off for the day early today - 1am feels early, anyway - with plans to meet up in the afternoon the next day. After some calculations, Jooheon realizes he could catch Jaebeom on the phone now, without him being in the store, with Jinyoung around.</p>
<p>He makes himself a cup of herbal tea and goes out onto the deck that faces the beach.  It's not cold, despite the time, and Jooheon likes the sound of the ocean.  He settles on one of the loungers and props his phone up on his knees, calling Jaebeom as he sips on his tea.</p>
<p>Jaebeom's face appears, pixelated at first, then smoothing out into focus as the connection steadies itself. He smiles wide at Jooheon, looking tired from a day on his feet at the shop, but relaxed too, with a tea towel draped over one shoulder, steam rising from whatever he's cooking next to him.  He recognizes his own kitchen cabinets in the background and the wave of homesickness that hits him is so strong he almost hangs up in a panic.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Jaebeom greets, and it takes all that Jooheon’s made of for him not to reach out and brush his fingers against the screen.</p>
<p>“Hi,” he says in a whisper, feeling a little choked up. Jaebeom immediately frowns. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Homesick,” is all he can manage to say before his throat closes up and he has to look away from the phone, blinking up at the sky for a moment.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom makes a soft, sad noise but doesn't say anything else, letting Jooheon collect himself.  He appreciates it, but he also called because he wants to hear Jaebeom's voice, so he clears his throat and takes a deep breath, then looks back at the phone screen.</p>
<p>“I miss you.”</p>
<p>“I know, baby. Me too.”</p>
<p>“Tell me about the babies, are they okay?”</p>
<p>“They’re good,” Jaebeom says, and then turns the phone so that the camera points to Gucci, sitting straight up on the kitchen counter. Jooheon smiles.</p>
<p>“She’s not supposed to be on there. Give her a cuddle for me.”</p>
<p>He watches Jaebeom’s hand reach out and his fingers scritch lightly between Gucci’s ears. She leans up into it as Jooheon makes a cooing noise.</p>
<p>“Just imagine it’s me, baby,” he says, hoping she recognizes his voice, his face.</p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles. “That’s what I do every night.”</p>
<p>“Every night?” Jooheon says, eyebrows raised.  “Damn, I didn't realize you missed me that much.”</p>
<p>“I do,” Jaebeom replies, and he sounds like he’s smiling, but he sounds sincere too. “I miss falling asleep knowing you’ll crawl into bed with me, and it... it helps.”</p>
<p>He turns the camera back, and Jooheon aches some more. “When can you come see me?”</p>
<p>“Soon, I hope,” Jaebeom says.  Jooheon watches him sit down at the table, propping the phone up against something so that he can use two hands to hold his chin up, elbows on the table, cheeks squished. “You tell me when it's good for you.”</p>
<p>“Any time. I’ll make it work. I have a weird schedule here, but it tends to free up most of my mornings.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums. “I’ll have to go look at things by myself? I was hoping my Honeymiles would get me a tour guide.”</p>
<p>Jooheon winces. “I’ll definitely talk to the guys and try to free up some time to go sightseeing with you, but there might be a few days where I have to leave you alone in the afternoons.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay,” Jaebeom replies. “I’d be happy to have you, even just for an hour right now.”</p>
<p>“We can do a lot in an hour,” Jooheon says, his lips twitching into a smirk. He sips his tea and watches the steam continue to rise up from the stove behind Jaebeom’s head. “Did I interrupt your dinner? I can call you back.”</p>
<p>“Mm, I’m not sure I’m hungry,” Jaebeom says, sparing only a quick glance behind him. “You’re more important; my food isn’t going anywhere.”</p>
<p>Jooheon feels warm inside hearing that. “Wow, I’m honored,” he says, grinning when Jaebeom rolls his eyes on-screen. He stands up from the lounger and stretches, letting out a satisfied groan when he meets Jaebeom’s eyes again. </p>
<p>He walks back inside and straight to the bedroom - if this is going to end up where he wants it to, he doesn't really want to be outside, even if the breeze is warm and the deck is secluded. The Airbnb is only a small place, but it’s right on the beach and it’s cozy and it has a feel of home that Jooheon likes. </p>
<p>“Did you get cold outside?” Jaebeom asks when Jooheon drops down onto the bed, probably confused as to why Jooheon moved without saying anything.</p>
<p>“Hmm, no, I just wanted more privacy,” Jooheon says. He lies back on the bed, one arm behind his head, and smiles at Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Oh?” Jaebeom says, leaning in a little closer to the phone, until Jooheon’s screen is filled only with Jaebeom, the background of his kitchen disappearing. “What do we need privacy for then?”</p>
<p>Jooheon sits up again and puts his phone on the bedside table, propping it up against the lamp. He unzips his hoodie and takes off his snapback, pushing his fingers through his hair before taking his arms out of the sleeves and leaning back on his hands. He’d found one of Jaebeom’s sleeveless tanks in his suitcase when he was getting dressed this morning and he knows that his chest and rib muscles look good in it.</p>
<p>Jaebeom looks on hungrily from the phone screen, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb.</p>
<p>“So, tell me everything about that hour if you got to have it. When you get to have it,” Jooheon says.</p>
<p>Jaebeom flashes him a grin that makes Jooheon's toes curl. He undoes a couple of the buttons on his shirt, letting it fall open to expose his collarbones, then Jooheon sees him stand up, moving away from the phone.</p>
<p>“You can't start taking your clothes off then leave!” Jooheon calls into the phone, raising his voice. He can hear Jaebeom laughing in the distance and some kitchen-type clanging.</p>
<p>“I was turning the stove off and putting a lid on the pot so that the cats don't get into it while I'm busy,” Jaebeom says, and now the phone is being scooped up, giving Jooheon a view of his kitchen ceiling at first, then a tour through his apartment to his bedroom. It looks the same as it did when he left, apart from the bed is unmade on Jaebeom's side, and his book and reading glasses are on the bedside table.</p>
<p>“Did you move into my place, hyung?”</p>
<p>“Little bit.”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s stomach does a funny little flip at the admission, and he bites his lip.</p>
<p>“That’s hot,” he murmurs, thinking of Jaebeom living in his space like this, even more than he already was before.</p>
<p>“Your domesticity kink is showing again.”</p>
<p>“Shush,” Jooheon says, shifting a little under Jaebeom's knowing gaze. “I'm thinking about how much my bed is going to smell like you when I get home. Especially if you've been jerking off in it every night.”  Jooheon groans, biting his lip again, harder this time.</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums, closing the bedroom door and locking it behind him. The sun is setting when he walks past the window, bathing the bed in pinkish orange tones, making Jaebeom's skin glow when he undoes the rest of his shirt buttons, leaving it on but open to the waist.</p>
<p>It genuinely, physically hurts Jooheon to be able to be so close, yet be so far from Jaebeom, right now. He wants to map out his body with his hands and lips, rediscover every little inch of him, and he feels starved for it, hungrily staring at Jaebeom through the phone screen. One of his nipple piercings catch the light, and Jooheon audibly gasps.</p>
<p>“Damn, I miss you. What I wouldn’t give to be able to touch you, right now.”</p>
<p>“Are you writing a bunch of horny songs about me for Drake or whoever to sing?” Jaebeom teases, before he keeps going, his tone changing to something more serious:   “Take off your shirt.”</p>
<p>Jooheon pulls his t-shirt off and tosses it to one side, running a hand over his stomach. He's been working out with some of the studio guys in the mornings, so he knows he's looking good, and it seems like Jaebeom can see it too if his sharp intake of breath is anything to go by.</p>
<p>“You’ve been hitting the gym even more,” Jaebeom comments, and Jooheon wishes the quality of the video could be better. In the fading light, some of Jaebeom’s face is obscured, and it makes him yearn even worse than usual.</p>
<p>“Yeah. S’good to keep myself from thinking too much.”    </p>
<p>Thinking about how lonely it is here, even with the people he’s working with, the parties he’s invited to. He skips them to work instead, or go to the gym, or go back to his Airbnb to try and get in touch with Jaebeom. There are no cats here, and his boyfriend is half the world away, and they haven’t had the chance to do this much.</p>
<p>“Thinking ‘bout what?”</p>
<p>It’s a leading question. Jooheon sits back on the bed, looking straight at his phone, the little smirk on Jaebeom’s face. “You. How much I miss you, waking up with you, hanging out. I miss the taste of your skin.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom sighs softly, eyes fluttering shut. “Those sounds like lyrics.”</p>
<p>“Maybe they are,” Jooheon says, shrugging.  “I told you I'd write songs as beautiful as you.”</p>
<p>“You already have me, you know,” Jaebeom says, hands going to his belt now, undoing it slowly, then the button on his 'work slacks' as Jooheon always calls them, leaving his underwear on show through the gap.   “You don't need to try so hard.”</p>
<p>“Oh, yeah? You don't want to hear what I've been working on?” Jooheon leans closer to the phone, dropping his voice as he sings lyrics that he’s been working on while in the US.    </p>
<p>He wishes it were true, that he could just jump in a jet and get back home for a few hours to be the one to undress Jaebeom, to take him to pieces - and be taken to pieces as well. But this has to do for now, watching Jaebeom shudder and his mouth drop open.</p>
<p>“Love it when you sing to me,” he says softly running a hand down his chest, thumb catching on a nipple, making him gasp. “Also I’m too turned on to translate everything you just sang but it sure sounded horny.”</p>
<p>Jooheon hadn't even thought about the lyrics being in English, but it had the intended effect nonetheless. He groans a little when Jaebeom's hand disappears inside his boxers, wrist stretching the elastic far enough that Jooheon can see the dark curls of hair there.</p>
<p>He watches Jaebeom get himself hard, teasing Jooheon with glimpses of more as he gets on his knees and rocks forward into his hand, until the shiny head appears above the elastic, Jaebeom's wet knuckles wrapped around it. He wants Jaebeom naked and open for him, but seeing him like this is so sexy, so arousing. The thought that he's so desperate for Jooheon, so turned on by his voice, that he can't wait to get his clothes all the way off, it's a powerful feeling for Jooheon.</p>
<p>“Baby....” Jooheon says, voice strained.  “Baby, take your clothes off for me.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom lets out a groan, head dropping forward, chin making contact with his chest, hair falling into his eyes. He stops moving for a second, completely still apart from the obvious rise and fall of his chest, and then he looks up at his phone.</p>
<p>“Gonna be out of frame for a second,” he says as he moves, disappearing from view. Jooheon waits, rearranging things on his side too, so he can sit with his back to the headboard, his phone propped up on his bedside table, giving Jaebeom a full view of his body in profile. </p>
<p>He does twist a little when Jaebeom reappears, at first blurry, then focusing. He’s naked and hard and Jooheon’s mouth waters at the sight.</p>
<p>“I hope you can tell how much I want to suck you off right now,” he says, a little nonsensically, because he’s also turned on and hard in his jeans and aching all over for Jaebeom.</p>
<p>“God, I miss your mouth,” Jaebeom says through a moan. “Show me. With your fingers. Show me how you'd suck me off if you were here.”</p>
<p>Jooheon wants to say his fingers won’t feel nearly like enough, but he stays quiet instead, not hesitating to open his mouth and dipping two fingers inside, tongue flicking against his own fingertips. He hums, sucking in spit as he fucks his fingers into his mouth, wanting to speak but also wanting to keep seeing that slack-jawed look on Jaebeom’s face.</p>
<p>“I can't - I knew that would be hot, but I had no idea how much,” Jaebeom says, almost babbling. His cock looks so hard it must be hurting, especially with how hard he squeezes it.</p>
<p>Jooheon drags his fingers against his tongue as he takes them out of his mouth, breathing hard as he looks at Jaebeom through the phone. In different circumstances, maybe he’d feel a little silly, trying to be all sexy like this, but considering it’s working, he doesn’t care. </p>
<p>He trails his fingers down his chest, leaving a wet path, all the way to his jeans, which he pops open quickly, letting out a hiss at the sudden change in pressure. </p>
<p>“Would you fuck me, if I was home? How would you take care of me?” Jooheon asks, voice rough, so obviously full of need.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Jaebeom says, drawing out the sound. His free hand is on his nipple, playing with the piercing, each twist and tug making him give a moan that travels all the way through Jooheon's body. It doesn't matter that they're not touching physically, they're so in tune with each other now that Jooheon knows what Jaebeom feels like when he jerks like that, how hot his cock feels in his hand. That doesn't mean he doesn't ache to be there right now though.</p>
<p>“Yeah? Would you eat me out while I sucked you off? Have me sit on your face and lean forward to take you in my mouth, make me choke when you thrust up, bruise my thighs with your hands.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom curses under his breath, and Jooheon waits to see if he’s going to continue Jooheon’s line of thought, or go off-road    . Jaebeom has a tendency to do that, after all. “The first thing I’m doing when I’m over is bending you over the nearest surface,” he says in a thin voice, like it’s difficult to speak. Off-road it is. “Fuck you from behind, only give you minimal prep. You like that.”</p>
<p>Jooheon shudders all over. He does like that. Not all the time, but fuck, when the mood hits them, it's so good for him. “In the airport bathroom, hyung?”</p>
<p>“Fucking anywhere,” Jaebeom says. “I fucking miss you so much.”</p>
<p>“I miss you too,” Jooheon says in answer, softer than he’s been speaking so far. “Think about how good it’ll feel when you get to fuck me again, hyung. How tight I’ll feel.”</p>
<p>At this point, Jooheon’s pushed his jeans and underwear down, just enough to get his spit-slick fingers around his own throbbing erection.</p>
<p>“I'm going to make love to you, too,” Jaebeom says, voice cracking which makes Jooheon’s stomach clench with longing. “  Take my time taking you apart.”</p>
<p>“Please, yes.” Jooheon moves his hand faster, the opposite to Jaebeom's words. He's getting close to coming already, wound up tight, needing his release, needing his boyfriend. He tips his head back against the headboard, moaning wantonly, free hand curled tight into the sheets. </p>
<p>“Look at me,” Jaebeom says, all strained and sharp. Jooheon opens his eyes and turns his head to look, greedily drinking Jaebeom in. “Look what you do to me,” Jaebeom adds.</p>
<p>Jaebeom looks wrecked. His hair is a mess, sweat is dripping from his nose, his chest gleaming with it. His cock is leaking a steady stream over his knuckles, messing up the sheets under his knees. </p>
<p>“I love you,” Jooheon says, breathy and overwhelmed. “More than anything.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom moans, voice cracking. He tugs at his hair with his other hand as he fucks into his fist. “I love you more,” he grits out, sounding like every word is an effort to get out, like it's been punched out of him.</p>
<p>“You should come for me, Jaebeomie-hyung,” Jooheon says, wriggling out of his jeans at last. “Come for me then tell me what to do, tell me how you want me to come. I'll wait for you.”</p>
<p>He squeezes the base of his dick to stave himself off as he watches Jaebeom, feeling so close yet so far from him. He knows that they’ll get together again soon, that they’ll get through this, but it’s tough. It’s so tough, to have him right here and yet, at the same time, not at all. </p>
<p>Jaebeom chokes out a few breaths before he is coming, like all he needed for it was Jooheon’s words. He folds himself in two as he comes, trembling a little and breathing out Jooheon’s name like a prayer, making it sound so good.</p>
<p>They've done this a few times since Jooheon arrived in the US, but it's never been as intense as this. He watches Jaebeom as he takes a few deep breaths, visibly trembling, before he moves off screen for a second. He comes back with a tissue, dabbing at the mess on his stomach.</p>
<p>“Wait,” Jooheon says as Jaebeom's about to wipe off his hands. “Taste yourself, like I would if I was there.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom groans, but does as asked. He grimaces for a moment before schooling his features, but he still manages to steal a chuckle from Jooheon, even if it quickly dies out when Jaebeom licks his hand clean, obscene about it.</p>
<p>Jooheon bites his lip, hard, as he watches avidly. When he allows himself to move his hand on his cock again, it immediately makes him hiss, hypersensitive and strung out.</p>
<p>“I bet you wish you had something to ride, don't you?” Jaebeom says, the phone back in his hand now, holding it closer to him as he flops back on the bed.  “Should've packed some toys for you.”</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t be the same,” Jooheon grits out. Nothing man made would scratch that particular itch for Jooheon now, he’s been spoiled by Jaebeom’s cock. But really, it’s not just that, it’s the fact that it’s attached to Jaebeom, to the man he’s so in love with it’s as terrifying as it is wonderful.</p>
<p>“‘M close a-anyway,” he adds after a second, brow furrowed as he keeps his pace torturously slow.</p>
<p>Jaebeom keeps encouraging him, telling him how hot he looks, how he can't wait to be there to do all this in person.  Jooheon tries to keep his eyes open and fixed on the phone screen as he reaches his limit, but it's too much when he finally does come, head thrown back, spilling over his stomach. He slumps back against the headboard, breathing out deep and slow, hand still squeezing around his dick sporadically, until he can’t take it anymore. </p>
<p>He sighs, wiping a hand on his chest - he’ll go shower when they’re done. </p>
<p>“Come see me soon,” he says, turning back towards his phone and taking it with his cleaner hand.</p>
<p>“I'm already packed,” Jaebeom says softly. Jooheon's chest aches.</p>
<p>“Do you want to watch me shower?” he says, scooting off the bed and walking to the bathroom, phone in hand.</p>
<p>“Maybe you should film it instead, so I can watch it over and over.”</p>
<p>Jooheon grins switching to the rear camera and filming himself in the mirror. “Okay, sure, but don't go selling it on the Internet to my fans.”</p>
<p>“Damn, there goes my fortune,” Jaebeom says, smirking as Jooheon laughs.</p>
<p>“I don't know if you'd make much money, hyung,” Jooheon says, leaning in to start up the shower. He lets the water run and turns the camera around again, making a sad face at Jaebeom. “I suppose we should hang up now then.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom pouts back, looking as genuinely sad as Jooheon feels. The come down from their orgasms has been swift, and Jooheon's not ready to say goodbye just yet.</p>
<p>“Can I call you back when I get into bed? So you can sing me to sleep?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles, looking all sorts of fond and a little amused. “It’s like I’m putting a kid to bed.”</p>
<p>Jooheon pouts harder. “That sounds all kinds of wrong, you know?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs again. “Yeah, I know. Call me when you’re in bed, baby.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Talk to you later   .”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Old habits start to creep back into Jooheon’s life as the two-week job turns into three which turns into four and it’s scary when he stops to think that he’s been here for a <i>month</i>. A month away from his home, his cats, his relationship. He loses himself in the work because it’s not as if he has anything to go home to, is it? Just an empty rental house that’s too depressing to look at in the daylight.</p>
<p>He’s just – alone.</p>
<p>“Why don’t you take the night off, Joohoney?” one of the studio techs asks him when he arrives. “You look like you need it.”</p>
<p>Jooheon winces because he didn’t think he looked as bad as he felt, but maybe he’s been here long enough that the guys he’s working with have learned how to pick up on his moods. He shrugs and sips on his iced coffee, dropping into his seat at the mixing desk.  “It’s fine,” he says, waving his hand. “Got nothing to go home for anyway.”</p>
<p>“Go out and get laid then,” the tech says, laughing until he sees Jooheon’s expression.</p>
<p>Jooheon snorts. “Yeah, I don’t think my partner would be too pleased with me if I did that.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, man, I didn’t know.  Are they back in Korea? You should bring them over.”</p>
<p>“Believe me, I’m trying.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>When Jaebeom next calls, it’s a day before he’s due to fly out to the US, and Jooheon’s driving himself through the LA streets, yet another early morning - or late night, depending on how you look at it. It makes him smile to hear Jaebeom’s voice, his heart settling a little when he does. </p>
<p>It doesn’t last.</p>
<p>“Jinyoung-ah is in the hospital. Appendicitis. I can’t -” Jaebeom takes a deep breath. “I have to stay in Seoul, Honey-yah.”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s stomach drops in the most unpleasant way as he listens to Jaebeom’s words through the phone.  </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Jooheonie,” Jaebeom says, and he sounds sincere. Of course he sounds sincere, Jooheon doesn’t exactly doubt that he is, but that doesn’t change the way disappointment and anger bloom through his chest.</p>
<p>“Why do you have to stay? He’ll be fine in a few days, just stay closed while he recovers,” he replies, more biting than he’d like. He is overreacting, but that doesn’t stop the words from spilling out, because it   gets to him, perhaps unfairly, how quickly Jaebeom is to just cancel their plans. Like the store is more important. </p>
<p>“I can't, baby, I'm so, so sorry,” Jaebeom says, blowing out another deep breath into the phone, whistling like wind. “Even - even if I close up, there's deliveries due that would need to be rescheduled, and all the website orders that Jinyoung usually deals with sending out...”  He trails off when Jooheon doesn't reply.</p>
<p>Jooheon just wrings his hands on the steering wheel, jaw clenched tight as he listens to what feels like excuses. He gets that Jaebeom’s store is incredibly important to him, but he thought - he thought he was, too.  </p>
<p>He’s upset, and angry. He has to pull the car over when he feels tears at the corners of his eyes; he doesn’t actually want to get into an accident over this. </p>
<p>“Jooheon-ah?” Jaebeom asks, voice small. Jooheon rubs at his eyes with the heels of his hands.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you want me to say, hyung.” He can hear the crack in his voice as the tears start to roll down his cheeks. “I thought - I thought you were looking forward to coming. I thought you missed me.”</p>
<p>“I do, I miss you so much- “</p>
<p>“Well, this is a funny way of showing it.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom takes a sharp breath. Jooheon’s not used to seeing it much, but he knows full-well that Jaebeom has a temper, and it’s possible that he’s looking to get a rise out of him right now, wants to have even more reason to be angry and upset. </p>
<p>“That’s not fair.”  </p>
<p>Jooheon grits his teeth. He thinks back of all the hours he’s put in the studio since he arrived here, how much work he’s done to stave off the hollow feeling of missing Jaebeom, to make sure he could do something that he could be proud of, and Jaebeom could be proud of him for. It’s not fair, because he knows Jaebeom misses him too, he doesn’t doubt it. But Jooheon, right now, <i>hurts</i>, and he’s lashing out because of it.</p>
<p>“No? Well, I don't think it's fair that you didn't even discuss it with me before deciding that you're just not coming,” Jooheon snaps back, swiping furiously at his face.</p>
<p>“Just like you didn't before going to America!”   Jaebeom is definitely angry now, voice raised.  “This is my business, <i>my</i> livelihood, and I'm not allowed to make my own decisions about it?”</p>
<p>Jooheon doesn’t think when he speaks next, and later, when he runs through this fight in his head and overthinks everything, he’ll hate this moment. He’ll hate that he used this argument, he’ll hate that he thinks it has any weight. It’s never been what their relationship is about, even if he’s used his money in many ways to spoil Jaebeom. It’s always been because <i>Jooheon</i> wants to, and not because he wants anything in return, or feels like he’s owed anything. </p>
<p>But, in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t think of all that. </p>
<p>“When I've spent thousands of Won on plane tickets, I think I deserve a bit more -”   </p>
<p>“Oh, it's about the money, is it?  Well, don't worry, I'll pay you back every won, if that's what you want.”</p>
<p>“No, it's not about the fucking money, hyung!”</p>
<p>The way Jooheon explodes, uncharacteristic and so, so loud in the inside of his rented car, stuns them both for a moment. Jooheon blows out a breath, his hands shaking on the wheel.</p>
<p>“Forget it. I’ll - I’ll deal with the flights, you deal with your business. Take care of what’s important to you.”  </p>
<p>The ache he’s feeling runs deep. He’s hurting, and he’s <i>scared</i>, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. Last time he’s had such a fight, it was the other way around; it’d been because Jooheon worked too much, and didn’t commit hard enough, and didn’t spend enough time home, didn’t spend enough time being a part of his relationship. Now, it feels like the roles are reversed, and it terrifies him. It terrifies him to even think he could be losing Jaebeom, just like that, so easily.</p>
<p>He says the words bitterly, and Jaebeom lets out a frustrated noise. “Jooheonie -”</p>
<p>“Talk to you later, hyung,” Jooheon interrupts, hanging up, and plunging the car into immediate, suffocating silence.   </p>
<p>It's not a break up, it's not a break up, he repeats in his head as he struggles to calm his breathing. It is their first big fight, however, and Jooheon still feels bitter and angry and empty all at once. It had to happen while they're on opposite sides of the world.</p>
<p>He punches the steering wheel once, before resting his forehead against it, fighting tears before giving in to them. He knows relationships have ups and downs, that they weren’t going to go on forever without fighting, but he feels like his insides have been scooped out. He’s so <i>sad</i>. He misses Jaebeom so much, and now he’s not coming. They’ve not seen each other in a month, Jooheon had so been looking forward to having Jaebeom in his arms again, and right now, the loneliness feels like a crushing weight on his chest. </p>
<p>He’s suddenly so, so extremely tired. </p>
<p>He sits there for a while, hazard lights blinking, listening to the cars rushing past, staring out the windscreen at nothing in particular.</p>
<p>Then he calls Shownu. </p>
<p>“Jooheonie? Is everything okay?”</p>
<p>Thankfully, because he’s far away and he’s not texted first, Shownu picks up quickly, understanding that something important must be going on. </p>
<p>Jooheon lets out a sob. He feels stupid about it, tired and angry and desperate for home. Shownu makes a few panicked noises on the other end of the phone, but Jooheon gets himself under control. At least, enough control to be able to speak. </p>
<p>“If I - if I had plane tickets for you, would you come visit?”</p>
<p>“Of course - but I thought Jaebeom-ah was going to see you?” Shownu sounds confused.   He gives his familiar little chuckle which normally would make Jooheon smile but right now, he just lets out another pained sob.</p>
<p>“Jooheonie, what's happened?”</p>
<p>“We - we had a big fight - and - and - he's not coming.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Honey-yah, I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>“The flight is tomorrow, I know it’s short notice, but -”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it. Let me sort it out with Kihyun-ah. Are you going to be okay? Isn’t it late for you?”</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine. I was driving, but I pulled over.”</p>
<p>“I can stay on the phone while you drive home,” Shownu says, not leaving much option for Jooheon to refuse. Not that he wants to right now.</p>
<p>“That sounds good, hyung, ” Jooheon says softly. “Talk to me about something nice?”</p>
<p>“Should I tell you about the latest recipe Kihyunie invented by mistake?”</p>
<p>Jooheon puts the car into drive, breathing in deep as a feeble smile graces his lips. “Hit me.”</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Jooheon meets Shownu at the airport, feeling instantly better and worse at the same time as soon as he sees his wide shoulders struggle to walk through the crowd of passengers, head on a swivel looking for Jooheon. Shownu wraps him in a bear hug that lasts way too long for the obstacle they create but Jooheon doesn't care. People can just deal with it.</p>
<p>They go out for breakfast, even though Jooheon hasn't felt much like eating since his fight with Jaebeom   . He does get a kick out of introducing Shownu to the wonders of Denny's dollar menu and watching his eyes light up at the sheer amount of pancakes he can order, not to mention the coffee refills.  He's sure the waitress is trying to flirt with Shownu as well.</p>
<p>Jooheon hasn’t spoken to Jaebeom since their fight. Sure, it was only two days ago, but they’ve been in constant contact when they were not sleeping before, and his phone feels like it’s burning a hole in his jeans. Shownu is a welcome distraction, though, being all charming in his broken English and inhaling food like he’s never seen it before in his life. </p>
<p>“I got to free up my day since I thought -” Jooheon stops himself from saying Jaebeom’s name, from mentioning their plans on ‘catching up’. He takes a deep breath and drinks some coffee. “Anyway. What do you wanna do today?”    </p>
<p>It’s actually funny, to think about how the crew he’s currently working with practically started thanking the Lord when Jooheon came in to ask if he was okay for him to take a day. He’d spent so many hours in the studio since he arrived that it was much more a home than any Airbnb he ended up in, and even his current group of co-producers had noticed.</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Shownu gives him a knowing look and hums as he chews, lips sticky with syrup. Jooheon should send a picture to Kihyun but he doesn't want to touch his phone. He also doesn’t want to give Kihyun an excuse to call right now. He can’t face that particular brand of well-meaning mother-henning. “I don't mind. Do you have any favorite places to show me? Or should we just go home and watch dramas?”</p>
<p>Jooheon thinks about it. He’d had plans with Jaebeom, of course, but it’s not the kind of things he’d do with Shownu. Finally, he shrugs. The thing is that Shownu being here is what he most needs, right now.</p>
<p>“We can go home and watch dramas, yeah. That’d be nice, actually. Otherwise there’s this cat cafe I’ve been going to when I really get homesick. But I know that’s not your thing.”</p>
<p>Shownu looks away for a second and scratches the back of his neck, the way he does when he wants to say no to something but doesn't want to disappoint the other person.  “Uhh... if you want to go play with cats, we can,” he says with a goofy laugh.</p>
<p>Jooheon smiles for what feels like the first time in days. “No, well, I don't need to feel homesick if home came to see me, do I?  Plus I've got weeks of cuddles to catch up on.”</p>
<p>So that’s what they do. After finishing up with breakfast, they go to Jooheon’s rented apartment, and settle in front of his computer to catch up on what they’ve missed recently, Jooheon making the most of getting to cuddle with Shownu. </p>
<p>It’s not until they’ve watched two episodes that Shownu finally asks. “Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>Jooheon doesn't answer, just wriggles deeper into Shownu's arms, pressing his cheek against Shownu's chest. There’s a part of him that wants to open his mouth and let everything out; this is something he’s good at, talking about his feelings. But the more he thinks about his fight with Jaebeom, and the things he said, the more he feels ashamed, the more he realizes just how stupid he’d been. He’s getting there, he’s getting ready to talk, but he needs a little longer with himself, facing his own mistakes.</p>
<p>Plus, every time he thinks about it, he just starts crying again.</p>
<p>“Jooheonie...” Shownu says, voice soft as he pushes his fingers through Jooheon's hair.  “I know it's not easy when you fight with someone you love but talking does help.”</p>
<p>Jooheon scoffs.</p>
<p>“You think me and Kihyunie never fight? You've seen us do it more than once,” Shownu says.  His fingers move from Jooheon's hair down to his neck, digging into the tight muscles there.  “We fight but we talk about it after. Once Kihyunie's calmed down.”</p>
<p>“I don’t even know what to say,” Jooheon starts, biting down on his bottom lip. </p>
<p>“Start at the beginning. Why did you fight? What started it?”</p>
<p>Jooheon    blows out a breath. “He told me he wasn't coming.”</p>
<p>“That's all he said? I'm not coming, nothing else?”</p>
<p>“Well, no, he said - he said he couldn't come because he had to stay and work.”</p>
<p>Which is an excuse that Jooheon himself has used, many times in the past. Maybe the reason he reacted so violently and painfully to being told that is because he remembers just how much it hurt Minhyuk when <i>he</i> said it. When he considered his job more important. His pride feels wounded, in a way, that his own efforts to make time for Jaebeom are not reciprocated, even though the reason why is entirely fair.</p>
<p> Shownu makes a noise like he's deep in thought. “Hmm, and?”</p>
<p>Jooheon frowns.</p>
<p>“And what? He decided that his shop was more important than me.”</p>
<p>“Something must have happened at work,” Shownu reasons, and Jooheon frowns.</p>
<p>“You’re supposed to take my side.”</p>
<p>It’s an irrational response, and not actually what he wants. He knows Shownu is just trying to make sense of everything, to be able to give Jooheon the best advice he can. It’s how he’s always been, and that’s why Jooheon asked him to come. But right now, Jooheon feels petty and childish and he’s still hurting, and he still misses Jaebeom.</p>
<p>Shownu grunts lightly. “I’m not <i>not</i> taking your side, Honey-yah. I just feel like that’s only half the story.”</p>
<p>Jooheon sighs, feeling the last few bricks of the wall in his head and in his heart crumble. He looks down at his own fingers, twisting them together.</p>
<p>“Jinyoung-ssi is in the hospital. Or was. Appendicitis. So Jaebeom-hyung said he had to stay back and take care of things instead of closing up shop and coming to see me.”</p>
<p>Shownu hums, his thinking face on. “So are you mad that he stayed to work, or are you mad that he stayed because of Jinyoung-ssi?”</p>
<p>Jooheon scoffs.  “The work thing, obviously.”</p>
<p>“Sure about that?  What if it was me, and I stayed home because Kihyunie was sick.  Would you be mad?”</p>
<p>“No, of course not, but - Jinyoung's not his boyfriend. I am.”</p>
<p>“And you're sure you're not mad Jaebeom-ssi put him ahead of you? Or at least, are you sure that's not how you actually feel, and that's why you're so angry?”</p>
<p>“I don't - I mean - do you think he has? Do you think that's why he didn't come?” Jooheon knows he sounds irrational, but Shownu's putting things in his head that he's been trying not to think about.</p>
<p>“Jooheon-ah, that's not what I said,” Shownu says, very carefully, as if Jooheon is some spooked horse. “I don't know Jaebeom-ssi well enough to make any kind of assumptions about anything, but I do know that he's very proud of his business, and he's got a work ethic that matches yours, so surely you can understand where he's coming from, you just don't want to because you've been away for a while and you're feeling insecure.”</p>
<p>Jooheon loves Shownu more than almost everyone in his life but that doesn't mean his bluntness isn't tough to hear sometimes. Especially as it puts him in front of what he’s been doing since he got to LA – work. Work so much he’s missed calls, planned little dates with Jaebeom that they tried to organize; moments in which he’d text an apology and feel guilty, but quickly fall right back into work.</p>
<p>He recalls Jaebeom's words on the phone, about him not <i>asking</i> to go to the US, just telling him he was. And he can't imagine Jaebeom telling him not to, if he'd asked. So what right does Jooheon have to try and make decisions for Jaebeom's business? </p>
<p>Still. It's hard to come to terms with it. Jooheon fidgets, looks down at his own hands, feeling very small and very upset. </p>
<p>“Do you think I was wrong?”</p>
<p>Jooheon knows he was. </p>
<p>Shownu makes a sympathetic noise, and drapes one of his huge hands around the back of Jooheon's neck. “I think you're very upset, and that's understandable. But maybe you got too heated, there.”</p>
<p>Jooheon nods, bottom lip sticking out as he thinks. They both have tempers, that's for sure, and Jooheon didn't exactly react rationally. They could have discussed another date for Jaebeom to come, he could've rebooked the tickets, rather than just transferring them to Shownu's name and dragging him halfway around the world to give him relationship counselling.  </p>
<p>He let his hurt get the best of him, supplanting his rational thoughts, and escalating what shouldn’t have been a fight into a full-blown one. He’d let his fear take over.</p>
<p>He's glad for it, though - glad for Shownu's presence, for his support and his straightforward, but loving words. He's glad for the company and the physical affection and the unconditional love; he feels lucky to have it. Sighing deeply, Jooheon runs a hand over his face, before pressing his forehead to Shownu's shoulder. </p>
<p>“I just miss him,” he says pathetically, his voice whiny. “I miss him and it hurt to feel like second-best.”</p>
<p>“Isn't he second-best to you, too? You're here, aren't you?”</p>
<p>Jooheon frowns. The words don’t feel fair, but he knows what Shownu is saying. Jooheon chose this contract and opportunity first, without consulting Jaebeom, like his career matters more to him than his relationship. But he’s still feeling like Jaebeom could have said something if he was unhappy with the situation, if he didn’t think it was a good thing that was happening to Jooheon. “He didn't ask me to stay.”</p>
<p>“And why do you think he didn't?”  </p>
<p>“I don't know - because I’m not going to be here   forever? It's not like I'm moving here permanently,” Jooheon says. His head hurts now.</p>
<p>“And is he going to be permanently running the shop by himself?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Jooheon-ah, sometimes things just don't work out. Sometimes life gets in the way. You'll still see him soon, sooner than you expect, you know?”</p>
<p>Jooheon buries his face in Shownu's chest and lets out a long groan.   </p>
<p>“In the meantime, why don't you call him and apologize for blowing up at him and talk it through,” Shownu says, rubbing his back.  “I'll stay here if you want, or I can go to the other room.”</p>
<p>“No, I'll go - to the other room,” he says with a mix of nerves, apprehension, and excitement. Surely, if he opens up on his feelings, they’ll make it through this okay. They’ll be fine. He just has to use his words, which he’s quite used to doing.   </p>
<p>He looks at the time, makes some quick calculations in his head. It's mid-morning in Korea, which means Jooheon can't really stall further without Shownu knowing exactly what he's doing. He forces himself to pull away from Shownu, grabbing his phone before standing up. </p>
<p>“You might have to extend your visit if it doesn't go well,” he says, and Shownu chuckles. </p>
<p>“It'll go fine. Stop delaying.” Shownu shoos Jooheon away, who nods, walking into the bedroom and closing the door with a deafening click. Before he can stall further, he pulls up Jaebeom's contact, and calls him.</p>
<p>He's in the middle of doing some deep breathing exercises when JB answers.</p>
<p>“Hello, <i>Modern Memories</i>, how can I help you?”</p>
<p>Jooheon pulls back to check he's dialed Jaebeom's mobile, not the shop number.  “Hey, it's me - Jooheon, I mean.”</p>
<p>“Oh, hey, baby, shit, sorry, I have been on the phone all morning, I didn't even realize which one was ringing,” Jaebeom says, and Jooheon was not expecting the pet name or the frazzled tone to Jaebeom's voice.</p>
<p>Oh, Jooheon thinks.  <i>This is what busy sounds like.</i></p>
<p>His heart beating in his throat, Jooheon flattens himself against the door. “Is – is it a bad time? Do you want me to call back later?”   He wonders if this sickening feeling is what other people have felt when they’ve asked him the same question in the past.</p>
<p>Jaebeom seems to take a moment with that, and Jooheon tries to squash down the feeling of disappointment that rises up in his chest, reminding himself of what he just talked about with Shownu. </p>
<p>“No, no, just - give me a second to tell Youngjae-yah he's in charge for a bit, okay? I won't be long,” Jaebeom finally replies, and Jooheon just hums assent. The line goes quiet, doors opening and closing in the background, the tinny sound of music over faraway speakers. Jooheon tries to calm down his heartbeat, slips down along the door until he's sitting on the floor. But when a door opens and close again in his ear, his heart picks up all over again.</p>
<p>“You still here?” Jaebeom asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here, hyung.”  </p>
<p>Jooheon breathes slowly, his brain reaching out for Jaebeom’s voice, like it could pull him through the phone to be right here, standing by Jooheon’s side. He aches and yearns, but in a completely different way than when they were fighting. It’s pure need driving him, right now.</p>
<p>“Good,” Jaebeom replies, and Jooheon can hear the smile in his voice. </p>
<p>“Hyung, I - I'm sorry. About the other day. I didn't - I'm just sorry.”  </p>
<p>He holds his breath while he waits for Jaebeom to reply, heartbeat thundering away. Luckily, he doesn't have to wait long.</p>
<p>“Me too,” Jaebeom says, voice soft.  “I was so... laser focused. I didn't think properly and I know I upset you.”</p>
<p>“I upset you, too,” Jooheon says, picking at a thread on his sweatpants.</p>
<p>“Well. We’re both sorry, then.”</p>
<p>“Maybe, but... listen, hyung, I owe you an explanation,” Jooheon continues, because he needs to, he needs to explain why he let everything get to his head and his heart so quickly. “I was stupid, I got – I got jealous, and I got so fucking scared. I got so scared, because you canceling like that reminded me of me, doing exactly the same thing to Minhyuk-hyung. And how it destroyed our relationship, over time. I don’t want this for us. I want us to be better than that, and it. It got to me. </p>
<p>“But we’re not like Minhyuk-hyung and I were. You and I, we’re not like that. And I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and gotten angry so fast. Your shop is important to you and to Jinyoung-ah, and it’s important to me, okay? I’m sorry I made it sound like it wasn’t. And I’m sorry – I'm so fucking sorry – about the money comment. It was completely uncalled for.”</p>
<p>The words tumble out of him without any real thought behind them, and he can only hope they make some form of sense. When he stops talking, the silence feels heavy between them, until he hears it – a sniffle, on the other end. Is Jaebeom crying? It immediately makes tears spring to Jooheon’s eyes, too, but he doesn’t say anything more, giving Jaebeom the space to respond. </p>
<p>“I forgive you,” Jaebeom says after a moment. His voice is thick with emotion – emotion that Jooheon never wants to be the cause of. He hates that he’s made Jaebeom sad or upset. “This is something we need to work on, you and I – these feelings we get about each other’s exes or mistakes we’ve made in the past. But I forgive you. We can get better together, right?” </p>
<p>Jooheon blows out a shaky breath, trembling a little as he feels a few tears roll down his cheeks. “I love you. You know that, right? I love you so much.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles, but it sounds watery. “I know. I love you too. I miss you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon swallows hard, biting his lip. “I miss you too. How is Jinyoung-ssi doing?”</p>
<p>“Fine. He was discharged, just recuperating at home, now. How is Shownu-ssi?”</p>
<p>“Jetlagged, but good,” Jooheon replies, then sighs loudly. “I still wish it was you here with me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, me too,” Jaebeom says. There's the sound of paper rustling and Jaebeom sighs. “I already needed a break before and now I really need one.”</p>
<p>“Is it that bad? Without Jinyoung-ssi?” Jooheon worries his bottom lip with his teeth, hoping he sounds sympathetic rather than bitchy.</p>
<p>“I'm not good at admin, let's put it that way,” Jaebeom says with a groan. “Plus Jinyoung's filing system makes sense to him and him alone. I've given up trying to find anything. I've just made my own files and he can deal with it when he gets back as punishment for dropping me in it.”</p>
<p>Jooheon can't help but laugh at Jaebeom's grumbling, even though his chest is aching to be close to him. “So you’re not coming at all, are you?” he asks, but this time it’s not an accusation.</p>
<p>Jaebeom sighs heavily again, and Jooheon can guess what he's going to say. “Jinyoung-ah is signed off work for the next two weeks, and Youngjae is good, but I can't leave him by himself to deal with all of this. I'm really sorry.”</p>
<p>“No, I get it, it's okay,” Jooheon says. He leans his head back against the door and closes his eyes when he feels them start to water. He refuses to cry again. “I understand, I promise.”</p>
<p>“When you get home and Jinyoung is back at work, we'll go away somewhere, just the two of us,” Jaebeom says. His tone leaves no room for argument, not that Jooheon would. “One of my cousins has a place on Jeju that they rent out for tourists; I could get in touch with them?”</p>
<p>“That sounds nice,” Jooheon says, wistfully. Right now, it feels like a pipedream, which he knows is silly; he is coming home, he is seeing Jaebeom again. It just feels like they’re so far apart right now. “It’d be nice. I’ll need a break, too, when I get back.”</p>
<p>“Are you working too hard?”</p>
<p>Jooheon hums. “I don’t feel like I am.”</p>
<p>“What time did you leave the studio last night?” Jaebeom asks. Jooheon can see his eyebrows drawing together in his mind.  “Or was it this morning?”</p>
<p>“Okay, eomma,” Jooheon says, smiling when Jaebeom laughs. “I mean, it's been late nights, but it's <i>Pitbull</i>, man. I can't just clock off at five pm.”</p>
<p>“I keep on forgetting it’s Pitbull you’re working with. Feels a bit surreal,” Jooheon chuckles, so utterly fond.  “That's definitely taken us a few steps closer to our dream house.”   </p>
<p>Jooheon’s stomach swoops at the casual mention of said dream house, like it’s something that stays on Jaebeom’s mind and not just an idea they used to turn each other on. Like it’s something he truly, really wants. Something that speaks to a future for them, to a - forever, for them.</p>
<p>Jooheon might cry a little bit. He doesn’t want to, he feels like such a crybaby, but sometimes, you just can’t stop the feeling. </p>
<p>“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” Jooheon says, voice a little strangled.</p>
<p>“I'm going to show you just how proud I am when you get home,” Jaebeom says, but Jooheon can't really speak around the lump in his throat. He lets his tears fall, breathing as slowly as he can, listening to Jaebeom as he rambles a little about boasting to his customers, to Jackson and Mark.</p>
<p>“You have to take a selca in the studio with Pitbull and send it to me,” Jaebeom says, almost giddy.  “I can't wait to see Jackson's face.”</p>
<p>“I’ll do my best,” he replies, still feeling shaky. Jaebeom seems to pick up on it, because he sounds more serious when he speaks next.</p>
<p>“You’ll be home soon. Yeah? If it’s hard, then just remember. You’ll be home soon. That’s what I think about - every day is a day closer to you being home.”</p>
<p>Jooheon lets out a watery laugh. “You're supposed to be making me stop crying,” he says, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.</p>
<p>“I love you,” Jaebeom says, soft and sincere.  “I'm sorry I can't be there.”</p>
<p>“I love you, too,” Jooheon says, blowing a kiss down the phone.  “I better go check on hyung, see if he wants to go to the beach or out to eat.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Call me soon,” Jaebeom replies, and Jooheon nods, even though Jaebeom can’t see him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I will. Bye, hyung.”</p>
<p>“Bye, Honey-yah.”</p>
<p>Jooheon ends the call and drops his phone into his lap, looking down at the dorky picture of Jaebeom he has as his background for a moment before he stands up and walks into the en-suite to wash his face.  He avoids the mirror until he's done toweling off, his skin scrubbed pink, fringe sticking up in wet clumps.</p>
<p>“Hey, hyung, do you...” Jooheon says as he walks into the living room once he’s dressed, trailing off when he sees Shownu asleep, head back, mouth wide open.</p>
<p>He grins, because of course. Kihyun would have stayed awake, antsy about the phone call. But Shownu just... does this. And in its own way, it’s reassuring and making Jooheon’s chest feel warm. He takes a picture, sending it straight to Kihyun.</p>
<p>Kihyun replies straight away with a string of laugh-crying emojis, followed by <i>file under: pictures you can hear</i></p>
<p>Jooheon replies, <i>Im sure you miss him</i>, and then shuffles over to make himself comfortable next to Shownu, the best pillow in the world, feeling better about everything, and clinging to the thought - he’s coming home soon. </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Jooheon had always planned to go and visit his noona in Texas before going back to Seoul, but when the time comes, he feels a little guilty about it. He says as much to Jaebeom when they talk while he is packing everything up at the Airbnb, dividing it into the things he needs to get shipped back and the things he’s taking with him to Texas.</p>
<p>“Don’t feel bad, Honey-yah,” Jaebeom says, his voice a comfort in Jooheon’s ears. “This is family and they’ve been looking forward to seeing you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I’ve been looking forward to seeing <i>you</i>,” Jooheon says. He heaves a sigh and folds another shirt. “I bought way too much stuff.”</p>
<p>“I told you you would!” Jaebeom laughs, then drops his voice to a low whisper. “Is it presents? For me?”</p>
<p>Jooheon grins, happy that they’ve managed to get over their fight and even though Jaebeom hasn’t been able to come over, the distance between them feels much less. “Maybe.”</p>
<p>“Call me at some point, when you’re with your niece, okay?”</p>
<p>Jooheon grins. “Of course I will.”</p>
<p>Getting to Texas and seeing Esther and getting to speak Korean to real people in the same room as him goes a long way to healing his heart and his soul.</p>
<p>“Honey-samchon play,” Olivia says, patting his stomach where he's lying on the couch, some random talk show playing on the TV, the English being spoken too fast for him to follow it properly, but he doesn't really care because he's going home on Sunday, and he's spending Friday night babysitting his niece.  </p>
<p>“What do you want to play, Oli?” Jooheon asks, sitting up and running a hand over her hair.  The buns that Esther put in earlier are already looking a little lopsided from Oli's running around. He checks his watch, working out the time in Korea.  He could facetime Jaebeom - it's already Saturday for him.</p>
<p>She climbs on top of him and sits on his stomach, making him let out an exaggerated oof as he holds on to her. She’s grown so much since the last time he saw her - a thought he always has whenever he gets to see her, and gets to see how quickly she’s turning into her own little person. </p>
<p>“Jasmine!” Oli says loudly, bouncing a little and actually stealing the breath from Jooheon. He grins anyway and opens his MelOn app, finding the Aladdin soundtrack and putting it on, Oli immediately starting to wriggle-dance.</p>
<p>“You wanna dance, baby?”</p>
<p>“Yes!” She yells, using his crotch as an unfortunate launch pad onto the floor again. “Up, up, up!” </p>
<p>Jooheon wheezes and rolls off the couch onto the floor, bracing himself on his hands and knees while the pain subsides.</p>
<p>She’s dancing around the room without a care in the world, and Jooheon can’t help but smile, way too endeared to feel pain for a long time. He joins her, shuffling on his knees as they dance together, or at least, they do until the music cuts off abruptly, replaced by Jooheon’s ringtone. </p>
<p>Oli wails unhappily, and Jooheon shushes her softly, pulling her into a big hug   as he picks up the FaceTime call.</p>
<p>“I hope you're decent,” he says by way of greeting. He hears Jaebeom laugh then the video connects, showing him Jaebeom sitting up in the bed in Jooheon's apartment. </p>
<p>“I remembered that you were babysitting, so I put a shirt on,” Jaebeom says, looking sleepy and cozy in one of Jooheon's hoodies.  It makes Jooheon even more excited to be going home. “Hi Honey-yah.”</p>
<p>“Honey-samchon,” Oli says, making a 'tch' sound as she corrects Jaebeom.</p>
<p>“I’m not samchon to him, Oli-yah,” Jooheon says, leaning his forehead against her temple as she looks at the screen, squinting a little. “Will you say hello to Jaebeom-oppa?”</p>
<p>Oli, bless her heart, waves at the screen, and Jaebeom responds by clutching his heart dramatically. “Oh, you’re so cute. Hi, Oli-yah,” he replies, and Jooheon grins.</p>
<p>“Hi, hyung. You interrupted our dance session.”</p>
<p>“I'm so sorry, Oli,” Jaebeom says, leaning closer to the phone and whispering. “Can I borrow your samchon for just a little bit?  And then you can dance with him again after?”</p>
<p>Oli hums, tapping her mouth with her index finger like she's seen Jooheon doing. Jaebeom laughs, obviously recognizing the motion as well.</p>
<p>“Wait one moment, hyung,” Jooheon says, giving Oli the phone to hold while he grabs the remote control for the TV and flips it over to YouTube, quickly navigating to a playlist that Esther has put together for Oli.</p>
<p>When he turns back, Oli has the phone two inches from her face, giving Jaebeom a no-doubt wonderful view up her nose.</p>
<p>Laughing, Jooheon settles back on the couch, Oli sitting on his lap. She’s now sticking her tongue out at the phone, and if Jooheon’s not mistaken, so is Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Of course you two would get along. Can I have the phone back, Oli-yah?” </p>
<p>“Oppa!” She says loudly and clutches the phone, but then seems to relent and gives it back to Jooheon as he starts playing the Esther-approved cartoons on the tv, distracting her. He leans back into the couch, a hand holding his phone and the other on her back.</p>
<p>“She’s so cute,” Jaebeom says, looking enamored.</p>
<p>“Cuter than me?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom makes a show of thinking about it, so Jooheon pouts, then pulls out his best aegyo. “Oppa! Chu!”  </p>
<p>“Oh, god, please stop,” Jaebeom says, laughing hard.</p>
<p>Jooheon grins, all dimples. “To what do I owe the pleasure, anyway?” He asks, because he thought about calling Jaebeom, but he didn’t think Jaebeom would call first. </p>
<p>“Do you want me to come pick you up tomorrow? I’d need to borrow your car...”</p>
<p>“Yes, I would love that,” Jooheon says, unable to control his excitement. “The keys are in the kitchen, probably needs gas and the battery might be flat, but yes, please. I can't wait to see you.”</p>
<p>It’s been over a month, at this point, and Jooheon is bursting at the seams. After they made up, they both made obvious efforts to be around to talk, to mention when things weren’t going well in any way, so that they could try and work through it right away. It hasn’t been exactly easy, but.    </p>
<p>They’re doing it, and Jooheon is coming home soon, and he’s going to get Jaebeom back. </p>
<p>“Okay, I’ll make sure it works fine today then, don’t want to be late tomorrow.” Jaebeom's grinning wide, cheeks bunching up. His hair is loose and Jooheon is so used to seeing it in a messy ponytail or bun on their facetime calls that it's surprising just how long it is now. He can't wait to run his fingers through it.</p>
<p>“Are you going to make me a sign?”</p>
<p>“Like a cab driver?”</p>
<p>“Like an idol fansite, duh.”</p>
<p>“I can bring my big camera if you want. Hound you while you walk through the airport.”</p>
<p>“I thought we had other plans,” Jooheon replies, and Jaebeom makes a scandalized face.</p>
<p>“Not in your current company, Honey-yah!”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs, gesturing at Oli who's gaping at the TV, watching Paw Patrol. “The apocalypse could come and she'd be completely unaware.”</p>
<p>“Still. We can talk about <i>that</i> when you’re home.”</p>
<p>Jooheon smiles indulgently. “Fine. I can’t wait.”</p>
<p>“Me neither. I just wanted to check on the car thing, I know you’re busy, I wanted to talk to you for a second.”</p>
<p>“Aw, it’s like you love me or something.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles again, sliding down under the covers again, curling one arm under his head as he props the phone on the other pillow. “Kinda, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Me too, kinda,” Jooheon replies.</p>
<p>“I can't wait to kiss you,” Jaebeom whispers.</p>
<p>Jooheon nods, but before he can reply, Oli throws herself on him.</p>
<p>“Honey-samchon, potty time.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles. “Duty calls,” he says before he cuts the call, Jooheon giving him a wave before he focuses back on Olivia, his heart feeling all warm.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And so we face... the final curtain... *sniff sniff*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As he walks through the airport, Jooheon pushes his hat further down, readjusting his mask afterwards. He’s trying not to sprint, and he’s trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. It’s not that he expects actual press or fansites, but he still wants to be careful.</p>
<p>There’s only one person he wants to see, right now.</p>
<p>He spots Jaebeom first, looking up at the information screen, hands in his pockets, stupid bucket hat on his head, wearing one of Jooheon's hoodies that he's clearly stretched out the shoulders of by now. He looks so handsome and, Jooheon has to admit, like home, it gives him an extra spring in his step, pulling his suitcase along until he's stopping right at Jaebeom's feet.</p>
<p>“Hi,” he says, leaning in close. “Um, you probably hear this all the time, but you're really hot. Wanna take me home?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I'd love to, but I'm waiting for my boyfriend,” Jaebeom says, grinning and throwing his arms around Jooheon.</p>
<p>Jooheon wishes they could be just like any other couple, that they could kiss right here and forget that there’s a world around them. But he’s still a semi-public figure and they’re still a gay couple, so for now, Jooheon settles on melting into Jaebeom’s embrace, eyes damp as he presses himself as close as physically possible right now, inhaling Jaebeom’s smell. </p>
<p>His hands are fisted in the back of Jaebeom’s hoodie, holding on tight, letting out a shaky exhale as someone jostles them, murmuring apologies. </p>
<p>“I’ve missed you so much,” Jooheon says, and it feels even truer now that he’s got Jaebeom back.</p>
<p>“Me too,” Jaebeom says, gripping Jooheon's biceps and squeezing once before he lets go and takes hold of Jooheon's suitcase. “Let's get out of here, shall we?”</p>
<p>Jooheon nods, sticking as close to Jaebeom's side as he can, letting his fingertips brush against Jaebeom's wrist and the back of his hand as they walk. He knows the jetlag and the long flight will catch up with him sooner rather than later but for now he's just so happy to be back, hearing Korean being spoken all around him, having Jaebeom next to him, solid and real.</p>
<p>They’re quiet on the way to the car, like they’re both too busy basking in the feeling of being together again to really be able to say anything, and Jooheon finds that he doesn’t mind at all. He’s walking on clouds, a smile on his face, absolutely in high heaven right now, aware of very little outside of Jaebeom. </p>
<p>Which is why he doesn’t notice until he’s in the car that they’re parked into a corner of the parking lot, walls on two sides of the car. He waits for Jaebeom to get into the car, turning to him.</p>
<p>“Did you try to park somewhere that felt private, hyung? If I didn’t know any better I’d think you have naughty thoughts in mind.”   </p>
<p>It makes him grin just to say the words, because he’s so happy he could burst and he loves that Jaebeom might have anticipated something, thought of something such as wanting them to be alone the second they were in the car. It makes a delicious little shiver run down his spine, looking at Jaebeom and barely resisting crawling over immediately, comfort be damned, just for the sake of touching and being touched by Jaebeom again. Jooheon missed him in a way that’s painful, a physical ache that ran through his body every day, and now, he feels so close, yet so far. His fingers curl over his thigh as he leans towards Jaebeom a tiny bit, pulled by an invisible force – just pure need.</p>
<p>“That depends on if you consider kissing you like this naughty or not,” Jaebeom says before leaning over the gear stick and taking Jooheon's face in his hands. Jooheon’s breathing hitches, his eyes taking in all of Jaebeom’s face now that he’s closer, the twin moles under his eyebrow, the glint of his piercing in the artificial lights of the parking lot, the redness of his lips, of his cheeks. He reaches up, hands wrapping around Jaebeom’s wrists, thumb pressing against the bone, expecting Jaebeom to kiss him now, now, <i>now</i> -</p>
<p>But Jaebeom takes his time, leaning up to brush a kiss against each of Jooheon’s cheeks, his eyes fluttering closed, and Jooheon lets out a tiny noise, shivering again. He wants to say that’s not naughty, not at all, but he doesn’t get to – Jaebeom chooses this moment to pull Jooheon’s mask off and toss it into the back of the car, before - <i>finally</i> - crashing their lips together with enough force to make Jooheon moan immediately.   </p>
<p>The kiss is noisy and messy, wet smacking sounds amplified in the enclosed space of the car, Jooheon's whimpers matching Jaebeom's grunts and moans. Jooheon pushes his fingers roughly into Jaebeom's hair, tugging the hair tie out and letting it fall down, engulfing his hands. He tugs at it, making Jaebeom gasp, both of them trembling with need, with want.</p>
<p>It’s nothing they can do more about here, but just this kiss ignites Jooheon’s body, makes him yearn for everything he’s not had for what feels like way, way too long. He shivers when Jaebeom sucks on his bottom lip, body immediately responding, struggling to get closer. Jooheon groans, pushing Jaebeom’s head back away from him forcefully, feeling a little delirious. </p>
<p>“Take me home before I decide riding you right here and now is worth the risk,” Jooheon says in a rough voice, thumping the back of his head against the headrest.  </p>
<p>Jaebeom visibly shudders, eyes boring into Jooheon's when he nods. He kisses Jooheon once more, then turns away to start the engine. Jooheon's never been more glad to have an automatic when Jaebeom puts the car in drive and then immediately takes hold of his hand, linking their fingers together as he drives to the exit.</p>
<p>Jooheon turns himself sideways so he can just watch Jaebeom, eyes moving over his face, memorizing all the little changes that have happened while he's been away. Besides the fact that his hair is long enough to brush his shoulders, Jooheon thinks there's a new piercing in his ear, which sends him into a daydream about what other new piercings might be waiting for him to find when he gets Jaebeom undressed. It's unlikely, he knows, but he's happy enough to imagine the possibilities.</p>
<p>“You tired?” Jaebeom says after a while, squeezing Jooheon's hand again. “There's some water for you in the door pocket if your throat is dry from the plane.”</p>
<p>“I'm OK for now,” Jooheon says. “Just enjoying the view.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom snorts, but a flush reaches his cheeks anyway, fingers squeezing Jooheon’s. </p>
<p>“You’re so goddamn cheesy,” he says in a low tone, and Jooheon grins.</p>
<p>“And yet you still picked me.”</p>
<p>“Well yeah, how else am I going to get my dream house otherwise?”</p>
<p>“Oh, you could probably sell your body,” Jooheon says, looking him up and down. “You could make a lot.”</p>
<p>“I’ll attempt to take that as a compliment.”</p>
<p>Jooheon just grins, leaning his head against the car seat and barely refraining from asking if they’re close to home yet. Instead he pulls their joined hands closer, kissing the back of Jaebeom’s, closing his eyes as he does so.</p>
<p>Try as he might to stay awake, the soft music on the radio and the comforting warmth of Jaebeom's hand in his has him dozing off. The adrenaline of flying home and seeing him again dissipating once Jooheon's brain is satisfied that he's going to wake up and still be there.</p>
<p>“Hey baby, wake up. We’ve arrived,” Jaebeom says to rouse him, an unknown amount of time later. Jooheon makes an uncertain groan before stretching, pressing his hands against the roof of the car, feeling Jaebeom’s eyes on him. </p>
<p>“Did I drool on myself?” Jooheon asks, wiping his mouth in embarrassment.</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, leaning over the center console to kiss him again. “No, you're okay. Let's get upstairs and we can take a nap together.”</p>
<p>“Just a nap?”</p>
<p>“Well, a nap afterwards.”</p>
<p>That’s enough motivation for Jooheon, who hops out of the car and goes to the trunk to get his luggage. He’s excited to see his babies too, give them cuddles - after he’s got his fill of Jaebeom, of course. </p>
<p>They’re both obviously antsy in the elevator, sneaking glances at each other, putting Jooheon’s biggest suitcase between the two of them like a barrier.</p>
<p>The air is almost crackling with energy, like Jooheon could shoot beams from his fingertips if he tried. He looks over at Jaebeom again, then down at his feet, trying to keep his eyes on the scuffs on his trainers, but he only lasts a few seconds before he's meeting Jaebeom's heavy gaze. Intent is written clearly on his face, lust and hunger making his eyes dark and hooded, almost menacing. For all that Jooheon had imagined their reunion being sweet and romantic, taking their time to relearn each other's bodies after being apart for so long, he knows that that's unlikely to happen until the second, or third, or fourth round.</p>
<p>“Can't this lift go any faster?” he hears Jaebeom muttering under his breath, foot tapping on the floor. </p>
<p>When they get to their floor, Jaebeom is the first one out of the doors, and Jooheon almost walks straight past him when he stops in front of his own door, instead of going on to Jooheon's flat.</p>
<p>“The cats are at your place,” Jaebeom says, tapping his code in and bringing Jooheon and his cases into his lobby.  “And I cooked your favorite here for later. Much, much later.”  He's already leading Jooheon to the bedroom as he speaks, not even pausing to get his shoes off.</p>
<p>Jooheon stumbles out of his trainers, following Jaebeom in a daze of jetlag and arousal, loving how Jaebeom is a little forceful,   obviously just as on edge as Jooheon is, too. It makes Jooheon feel – loved, the way Jaebeom can’t control his strength when he manhandles him around the apartment, the way he can’t seem to be able to wait for a second longer. It reminds Jooheon just how much Jaebeom must have missed him, too, just as much as Jooheon did. Jooheon feels more than ready to just fall apart in Jaebeom’s arms, let him be Jooheon’s strength for now.</p>
<p>Jaebeom opens his bedroom door and pulls Jooheon inside, tugs him to his chest, looking down at Jooheon, fingers bumping Jooheon’s hat off. </p>
<p>“Hi,” Jaebeom says as he gazes at Jooheon, making him grin. </p>
<p>“Hello, hyung,” he replies. “I’ve missed you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon pushes his hands up under Jaebeom's hoodie, biting his lip as he touches his skin at long last. He feels Jaebeom doing the same, letting his hands roam over Jooheon's back under his shirt.</p>
<p>“You look good in my clothes,” he says, tugging at one of the hood strings.</p>
<p>“Good, because that’s all I’ve been wearing for weeks,” Jaebeom replies, voice barely above a whisper. “But do you want to see how I look outside of them, too?”</p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles. “I have, before.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah? So you don’t want me to take my clothes off?”</p>
<p>Jooheon just growls   and pushes Jaebeom to fall onto the bed, landing on top of him. The feeling of Jaebeom's body underneath him is so good after such a long time.</p>
<p>There’s an amused rumble up Jaebeom’s chest, but it doesn’t turn into a full blown laugh, because Jooheon is kissing him, just as hot and intense as they were in the car, only this time there’s no having to pull back. Jooheon flattens himself against Jaebeom, wanting to feel him all over, hands roaming, touching him everywhere.</p>
<p>“You said on the phone that you’d bend me over the nearest surface upon my return, but you’ve been remarkably self-restrained,” Jooheon notes when they break the kiss, speaking in between nips and kisses up and down Jaebeom’s neck.</p>
<p>“I weighed up the pros and cons of getting arrested for public indecency,” Jaebeom says, pulling Jooheon's shirt up until it bunches at his armpits. Jooheon wriggles out of it quickly and shivers when Jaebeom's thumbs brush over his ribs. “The jail time wasn't worth it. Unless you'd like to put me under house arrest, officer.”</p>
<p>“Baby, I’d be all for some roleplaying if that’s something you want to explore but not right now,” Jooheon says, pulling back a fraction to help Jaebeom out of his hoodie and shirt. He looks down as his fingers skim down Jaebeom’s chest, relearning him all over again.</p>
<p>“I can barely remember my name right now, I would make a terrible roleplaying partner.”</p>
<p>“I'll make sure to scream it loud, then.”</p>
<p>Jooheon bends forward to flick his tongue over Jaebeom's nipple piercings, one at a time, kissing down the dip between his pectorals, down and down until his lips are brushing the trail of hair under his belly button.  He can feel Jaebeom's erection bumping against his chin, tenting his sweatpants. He hooks his fingers into their waistband, pulling them up and off of Jaebeom, smiling when Jaebeom lifts his hips to help. His cock springs free, curving towards his stomach, and Jooheon lets out a low groan.</p>
<p>“Fuck, you’re so - hard already,” he whispers, leaning up to kiss at Jaebeom’s hipbone.</p>
<p>“I’ve been hard since we got into the car,” Jaebeom admits.</p>
<p>“I'm sad I fell asleep in the car now,” Jooheon says, closing his fingers around the base of Jaebeom's cock, feeling the heat of it, the pulse under his skin. He drags his lips and teeth over Jaebeom's groin, until his lips bump up against his hand. He doesn't want this to end with just an exchange of blow jobs, but at the same time, his mouth is watering being this close and not taking Jaebeom in.</p>
<p>“Why? You couldn’t have done anything about it,” Jaebeom replies, struggling to let the words out between gasps. </p>
<p>Jooheon kisses his way up the length of Jaebeom’s cock, until he’s got the head in his mouth, and he laps at it before looking up. “I could have given you road head,” he replies, licking at the slit of Jaebeom’s cock again.</p>
<p>Jaebeom groans, loud and deep, stomach flexing hard enough that his shoulders come up and forward, folding himself over Jooheon's head for a moment. He sucks on the tip for a moment, swallowing the precome that's leaking onto his tongue, then draws back, using his hand to spread the wetness down the full length.</p>
<p>“Road head might just have killed me. Or both of us, if I crash into the Han.”</p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles, leaning his cheek against Jaebeom’s thigh.</p>
<p>“I really want to ride you but I don’t know that my legs can take it,” he says, squeezing his fingers around Jaebeom’s erection. “God, I missed your dick, though. I missed all of you, but - your dick.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, my dick missed you too,” Jaebeom says, sitting up so he can grab Jooheon's other hand and switch their positions. “Got very bored of my left hand. And my right hand, too.”</p>
<p>With careful movements, Jaebeom leads Jooheon to lie on his side, and fits himself against him, bodies molding together. Jooheon is still wearing his pants, but he still presses back, wriggling his hips a little. </p>
<p>“It’s so sexy to be dating an ambidextrous man,” Jooheon jokes, reaching back to touch Jaebeom again.</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, breath hitting the back of Jooheon's neck. “I'm glad you think so. Most people just call me a freak.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but you're my freak,” Jooheon replies, undoing the ties on his sweats. He's forever glad that he never wears jeans on the plane. He'd be in agony right now.</p>
<p>Jaebeom doesn’t wait for Jooheon to wriggle out of his sweats, slipping his hand past the waistband, palming at Jooheon’s ass. Jooheon hisses, arching into it, and pushes his pants down, kicking them off unceremoniously. </p>
<p>Jaebeom groans, spreading Jooheon’s ass a little, rubbing his cock against him, and Jooheon mewls, turning his head into the pillow as he moves back into the sensation.</p>
<p>“Jooheonie - god, you feel so good.”</p>
<p>“It'll feel even better when you get inside me,” Jooheon says around a moan, hitching his top leg up which helps Jaebeom's hand spread him wider.</p>
<p>“I really want to, but it's been too long for me to just fuck you open on my cock,” Jaebeom says, even as he grinds the head of it against Jooheon's hole.</p>
<p>Jooheon whines, because yes, he knows this, but he's waited so long for something more satisfying than his admittedly short fingers that he would be willing to risk the pain.</p>
<p>“Just -”</p>
<p>Jaebeom slaps his ass, making him jolt in surprise. “Lube, Jooheonie,” he grits out, but it doesn’t sound angry, just a little commanding, which is damn hot in its own way.</p>
<p>A little desperately, Jooheon leans forward to get to the bedside table, feeling blindly around for the lube, letting out a groan of relief and triumph when he closes his fingers around it. He throws it towards Jaebeom, and thankfully, he barely has to wait before Jaebeom is pushing into him with one, then two fingers. The noise Jooheon lets out is half relieved and half turned on. He can't help pushing back into the touch, even as it stings and the stretch hurts to begin with.</p>
<p>“Ugh, yes, yes, that's so good, hyung,” he moans, clenching his fists in the sheets by his head. “Missed this.”</p>
<p> “You’re so tight,” Jaebeom pants right into Jooheon’s ear. “Did you not - by yourself?”</p>
<p>Jooheon whines again, mouth open over his own forearm as he fucks back onto Jaebeom’s fingers, feeling delirious with jetlag, pleasure, and relief.</p>
<p>“I d-did, a few times. But it- it’s not the same.” He reaches back, fingers encircling Jaebeom’s wrist and guiding him deeper. “More, please -”</p>
<p>Jaebeom pushes another finger inside but doesn't move beyond that. Jooheon squirms and almost sobs when Jaebeom curls his fingers down to press on his prostate, just that, without pulling back. It's overwhelming.</p>
<p>“Hyung, please, I can't wait anymore,” Jooheon begs, twisting around to try and look at Jaebeom's face.</p>
<p>The only response he gets is a kiss, making him moan again, leaning up into it. It’s a distraction from the way Jaebeom pulls his fingers away, but Jooheon still whines unhappily, even though he knows the best is yet to come. </p>
<p>He focuses on the kiss as Jaebeom moves around a little, chasing after him when he pulls back. Jooheon tries not to whine further, but he has to bite down on his bottom lip hard to keep himself from it.  </p>
<p>It’s all worth it, though, when he feels the blunt head of Jaebeom’s cock against him, pushing inside him. Jooheon lets out all his breath in one go, ending in a gasped sob of Jaebeom's name. He whimpers as Jaebeom slides all the way in, digging his fingers into the arm Jaebeom has around his waist.</p>
<p>For a moment, Jaebeom doesn’t move. He stays buried inside Jooheon, breathing heavy and hot against his neck, a little damp when he mouths at the skin. Jooheon squeezes his muscles around him, and Jaebeom presses his fingers into Jooheon’s stomach, the two of them moaning together. </p>
<p>“You - ah, god, feels so good, Jaebeom-ah...”</p>
<p>Jaebeom shudders at the name, biting down onto Jooheon’s shoulder for a second as he pulls almost all the way out, and then slams back in deep, and stills once more. Jooheon cries out, turning his head into his pillow again. </p>
<p>“Fuck, I didn’t r-realize how much you buffed up,” Jaebeom says in a thin voice, words sounding like they’re hard to come out. His hands skim along Jooheon’s side, squeezing at the muscles over his ribs as he kisses along the curve of his shoulder. He moves to trace the shape of Jooheon’s pecs, thumbs brushing against one of his nipples, making Jooheon groan helplessly. It’s like Jaebeom can’t stop touching Jooheon, mapping him and his new muscles out, and Jooheon can’t really blame him – he feels the same, reaching back to dig his fingers into Jaebeom’s ass.   </p>
<p>“Told you I'd been w-working out a lot more,” Jooheon says. He arches his back a little, grinding his ass back when Jaebeom pushes forward, as if he's trying to fuse their bodies together.</p>
<p>“So fucking hot,” Jaebeom moans, kissing behind Jooheon's ear, biting at his earlobe. “I can't believe my luck sometimes.”</p>
<p>Jooheon shakes his head, reaching down to lace his fingers with Jaebeom’s. </p>
<p>“No, I’m the lucky one,” he says, punctuating the sentence with another moan. They’re moving in sync now, and Jooheon drags their joined hands down to his neglected cock. “You make me want to give you your dream house, more and more, every day.”</p>
<p>Jooheon finds it incredible that they’re able to talk right now, but it also makes everything even hotter somehow, their intimacy expanding with every thrust and every word.</p>
<p>“Because I fuck you good?”</p>
<p>“Because you - you make m-me so happy,” Jooheon replies, grunting when their combined grip moves over his cock. He rocks back and forth, lost in the feeling of Jaebeom inside and surrounding him. “I love you more each day.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, sounding elated and happy and a little delirious, making Jooheon grin, too. This is what he loves - being entirely surrounded by Jaebeom, warm and loved and giggly. Happy. </p>
<p>“I love you too, Jooheonie,” Jaebeom replies, before picking up his rhythm a little, making Jooheon lose his ability to speak. </p>
<p>Now, he’s just letting out little hitched breaths as he rolls his hips between Jaebeom’s cock and their joined hands. Jaebeom sounds like he's in the same boat, making soft groans and huffs into Jooheon's ear. His chest is sweaty against Jooheon's back, the late summer day heating up outside as well as the heat between them.</p>
<p>“You close?” Jooheon asks in a whisper, knowing at the point Jaebeom’s little tells. The way his noises go higher pitched, and his hips stutter a bit. Jooheon just keeps on squeezing around him, meeting him halfway, never wanting to be far away from him.</p>
<p>“Yeah... yeah,” Jaebeom says, strained, like he's pulled tight, ready to snap. “Can we try - together?”</p>
<p>“We can try,” Jooheon says, encouraging Jaebeom to move his hand faster on Jooheon's cock. Heat sings up along Jooheon’s spine, liquefying it, making him melt even further against Jaebeom as they keep going. He’s close too, and Jaebeom’s hand keeps on tightening and releasing around him, feeling so amazing Jooheon is definitely going to lose his mind. </p>
<p>He tips his head back onto Jaebeom’s shoulder, moving his hips into a circle. He turns his head, trying to chase Jaebeom's lips for a kiss, not caring if they manage anything more than swapping breaths and messy swipes of their tongues. He just wants one more point of connection between them, wants all of his senses to be overwhelmed by the man he loves. It's been a slow grind of a fuck so far, but now it feels like a race to the end, both of them restless, hands and hips moving frantically.</p>
<p>“Jooheonie, I'm gonna come,” Jaebeom warns, shifting his weight slightly to roll Jooheon over a little more, leaving him not quite face down on the bed but turned just enough that Jaebeom can press down on and into him harder now. “Come with me, come on, come on.”</p>
<p>Jooheon changes up the rhythm of their hands on his own cock then, wanting to come with Jaebeom. It’s the best, most mind-blowing feeling, to be stuck between Jaebeom’s dick and his hand, and Jooheon just lets go, relinquishes any tiny shred of control he had, mouthing damply at a pillow as he bucks and writhes, moaning wantonly.</p>
<p>“Ah - ah -” Jooheon slaps his free hand against the wall and stills his hips, Jaebeom buried deep inside him again, as he tips over the edge, mind filled with delightful static as he comes.</p>
<p>He feels the warm pulses of Jaebeom coming inside him a split second later, hears Jaebeom's answering moan, teeth digging into Jooheon's shoulder, stopping him from floating away entirely.</p>
<p>Jaebeom jerks his hips a couple more times then slows to a stop, resting his weight on Jooheon's back but not crushing him. He mouths wetly at Jooheon's neck as they both twitch through the aftershocks. Feeling the delightful waves of satisfaction all the way to his toes, Jooheon shifts a little, doing an aborted stretch as he groans loudly, happily, pressing himself back against Jaebeom. He’s feeling hypersensitive and yet he can’t stop himself from wriggling his hips a little more, grinning to himself when Jaebeom’s sticky hand slaps down on his hip, digging in. </p>
<p>“You just came back and you’re already killing me,” Jaebeom whispers, making Jooheon pout when he turns his head.</p>
<p>“Want me to leave again?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom growls. “Never.”</p>
<p>Satisfied with that answer, Jooheon lets out a happy little sigh. “I could fall asleep with you inside me.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom makes a noise of dissatisfaction and rubs his face in the back of Jooheon's neck. “I think you'd feel much better if we showered quickly first. I think I remember promising to eat you out after we fucked, too.”</p>
<p>“Now who's killing whom?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom kisses along Jooheon’s shoulder in answer, pressing his smile to Jooheon’s skin. </p>
<p>“I don’t know that I can stay upright long enough for a shower, though,” Jooheon says honestly, feeling drowsy and hazy, vision a little blurry. </p>
<p>“I’ll help. Just a quick rinse, baby. Get the spunk and the airplane smell off of you.”</p>
<p>“Don't say 'spunk',” Jooheon mumbles, slapping weakly at Jaebeom's leg behind him. “You're not a teenager.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, the sound almost musical in Jooheon's ears. He wants to just lie here and be kissed and cuddled and loved, he doesn't want to be wet and cold. Evidently he says all of this out loud, because Jaebeom is laughing again, but he doesn't listen to Jooheon's complaints, just pulls him gently upright and off the bed.</p>
<p>Jooheon trips over his feet, whining all the way to the bathroom, griping about the come dribbling down the backs of his thighs, the brightness of the sunlight coming in the window, the cold of the tiles under his feet. None of it is what he wants right now.</p>
<p>“JaeBeomie-hyuuung,” he whines. “Let's just go back to bed. Pleeeease?”</p>
<p>“I forgot how whiny you get when you’re tired,” Jaebeom says, very softly and full of fondness. He leans into the shower and turns it on, before pulling Jooheon closer. “C’mere.”</p>
<p>He wraps his arms around Jooheon, holding him close, rubbing his hands up and down his back. Jooheon shivers, but melts into Jaebeom’s arms, burrowing closer, sighing softly as he closes his eyes.</p>
<p>A minute later, Jaebeom pulls him under the hot spray of the shower, and while he’s still feeling whiny, Jooheon can’t deny that it feels good.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of you, Jooheonie.”</p>
<p>“Mm, love you,” Jooheon mumbles, words blurring together. He keeps his face tucked into Jaebeom's neck, arms around his waist, drifting as he feels Jaebeom's hands roaming over his skin, slick with soap. “Smell like you. Like it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I like it when you smell like me, too,” Jaebeom says as his fingers dip between Jooheon's cheeks. It makes him whine again and squirm until Jaebeom shushes him with a kiss to his temple. Jooheon knows he’s being childish, but he can’t help it. He’s tired and sore and he wants to be back in bed, but Jaebeom is gently insistent, cleaning him up quickly but thoroughly. </p>
<p>He keeps on almost dozing off, leaning back against the shower tiles, and it makes the whole thing feel like it takes longer than it probably does. Finally, when Jaebeom turns off the shower and maneuvers Jooheon into a fluffy towel, Jooheon truly can barely stand.</p>
<p>“I didn’t sleep on the plane,” he mumbles. “Was too excited to see you.”</p>
<p>“Silly,” is all Jaebeom says, getting Jooheon to lean against the sink while he gets a towel around himself and then rubs at Jooheon's hair with another. “I checked on the cats before I came to get you, so we can sleep a while before they're going to need anything.”</p>
<p>Jooheon hums, eyes closing of their own accord, despite the vigorous way Jaebeom is drying off his hair. His brain is already rattled from the flight and the time change so he barely notices when Jaebeom stops and leaves Jooheon be for a moment to get himself dry enough that they're not going to soak the bed and wake up later with a chill.</p>
<p>“You need me to carry you to bed, my lord?”</p>
<p>Jooheon snorts. “No, no, it’s fine.”</p>
<p>Nevertheless, Jaebeom stays close, guiding Jooheon back to the bedroom, laughing softly when Jooheon all but faceplants into the bed. Jooheon makes a vague wave with his hand, eyes already closed.</p>
<p>“Come cuddle me. Make up for lost times.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom tugs the towel off from around his waist, making Jooheon grumble again at the cool air flowing over his still-damp skin. “Shift up a little so I can get the dirty sheet off first,” Jaebeom says, patting Jooheon's bare butt. Jooheon half crawls, half wriggles his way towards the pillows, rolling from side to side as Jaebeom takes away the sheet bearing the marks of their earlier activities.</p>
<p>“You planned ahead,” Jooheon says with his arm still extended backwards, making grabbing motions with his hand. He snuggles into the covers that Jaebeom pulls out from underneath him and then throws over him. Even though it's still warm outside, Jaebeom's bedroom is cool and all he wants is to cocoon himself with Jaebeom beside him and sleep.</p>
<p>“Of course I did,” Jaebeom replies, finally joining him into bed properly, the two of them facing each other this time, like parentheses closing towards each other.</p>
<p>“Welcome home,” Jaebeom murmurs, kissing the tip of Jooheon’s nose, making it scrunch up. </p>
<p>“I’m so happy to be home,” is the last thing Jooheon says before he falls into a deep, peaceful slumber.</p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>Jooheon wakes up because of his stomach growling loudly. The bed behind him is empty, a cold spot where Jaebeom should be, but he can hear Jaebeom singing somewhere in the apartment, so he pushes the covers off and stands up, bones cracking as he stretches.  </p>
<p>He pads naked into the living room, scratching at his chest. There are faint bruises on his hip that he didn't notice before he fell asleep, and the ache between his thighs is a pleasant reminder of the very thorough welcome home that Jaebeom gave him. He's torn between wanting to drag Jaebeom back to the bedroom, wanting to eat something, and wanting to see his babies.</p>
<p>His stomach wins out for now, when he sees Jaebeom in the kitchen, stirring a pot, and making Jooheon’s stomach growl harder with the smell, and the view. Jaebeom spots him, giving him a double-take when he realizes Jooheon is still naked. </p>
<p>“Go put on something and come eat,” he says, barely managing to keep himself from laughing. Jooheon shakes his hips, raising an eyebrow. </p>
<p>“You don’t like my birthday suit?”</p>
<p>“I love it, actually,” Jaebeom replies. “And it might just distract me too much from what I’m doing, and then the food will be ruined. Also, the cats will need to be fed soon, and they miss you.”</p>
<p>Jooheon can't help his grin at the thought of seeing the cats again. He comes closer to Jaebeom, taking in his low slung sweatpants and muscle tee. “But my man's out here looking like a whole snack himself,” he says with a smirk, sidling up to Jaebeom by the cooker.</p>
<p>Jaebeom does laugh now, elbowing Jooheon away from the stove and smacking his hand with the spoon. “I promise you, when we go away, we can just hang out naked all day every day.”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs, moving back towards the bedroom. “Fine, I know when my hot bod isn’t wanted.” </p>
<p>He puts back on his underwear and t-shirt before returning to the kitchen, finding bowls of soup ready. “Eat up,” Jaebeom says, gesturing for Jooheon to sit down. They start eating, Jooheon filled up with warmth, from the food, from Jaebeom reaching out with his foot, pushing it between Jooheon’s calves. </p>
<p>He returns the favor by reaching out to take JB's free hand, tangling their fingers together.  It's so quiet and domestic and Jooheon feels it settle into his bones. It's thrilling and terrifying in equal measure that this feels like something that could last for a very long time indeed.</p>
<p>When they've finished eating and JB's cleared the bowls and leftovers away, Jooheon puts his sweatpants back on and together they head over to his place, dragging all of Jooheon's stuff with them.</p>
<p>“Oh, by the way, I've got a surprise for you,” JB says, stopping Jooheon at his front door.</p>
<p>“You do?” Jooheon asks, surprised. Jaebeom takes the lead and opens the door for them, peeking inside before turning on the lights. Jooheon frowns, uncertain, before following, closing the door behind him. </p>
<p>Yoshi comes forward first to greet Jooheon as Jaebeom walks further into the apartment, like he’s looking for something. Jooheon focuses on his girls, as Gucci comes to greet him as well, and he crouched down to them, burying his face in their fur in turns.</p>
<p>“Hi, my babies, hi. I’ve missed you so so much,” he whispers, pleased by their happy purring and their rubbing against him.</p>
<p>He lets his backpack slide off his shoulder to the floor and sits down crosslegged, letting Yoshi climb all over his lap and then stand to put her paws on his shoulders, sniffing and licking his face. “Have you missed me, too? My best girl, yes, I love you.”</p>
<p>“And you wonder why Gucci favors me,” Jaebeom says, standing over Jooheon now, casting a shadow over him. He's got something in his arms but Jooheon can't see at this angle and without his glasses.</p>
<p>Gucci, though, is draped over Jooheon’s thigh as well, and he’s got his hand over her spine, giving her little skritches, the way she likes. Jooheon grins. </p>
<p>“Gucci loves me,” he says, like the proud dad he is. “Is that Nora you got here?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums, and then Jooheon hears this tiny, very young sounding little meow. “No,” Jaebeom says, folding himself down so that Jooheon can see - a pure white kitten, with one blue and one brown eye. </p>
<p>“Nora’s napping in one of your hoodies on the couch,” Jaebeom says. “This is Odd.”</p>
<p>Jooheon’s heart seizes up as he looks at the kitten, reaches out with a hand, softly brushing a finger between her ears. “Hi, Odd. How did you end up here?”</p>
<p>“Well, Bambam took me to a cat cafe to cheer me up while you were away,” Jaebeom says, letting Jooheon gently take Odd into his hands. “And one of the cats they'd taken in was pregnant and they didn't know until she had her litter in the back room, so they had these babies that needed adopting, and Odd's little face was just - I couldn't leave her behind.”</p>
<p>“She's beautiful,” Jooheon says, in love already.</p>
<p>“This is your other dad, Odd,” Jaebeom says, petting her back.  “I told her all about you.”</p>
<p>Overcome with a wave of absolute adoration, Jooheon shifts his hand up to wrap it around the back of Jaebeom’s neck, and pulls him in for a kiss. </p>
<p>“I love you,” he says, heartfelt.</p>
<p>Jaebeom presses another kiss to his lips and nods.  “I love you, too.”</p>
<p>Jooheon's felt adrift for a long while, if he's honest with himself, but now, here, sitting on the floor with a lap full of his babies, kissing the person he loves, who welcomed him home with a kitten.... he's not drifting anywhere, not anymore.</p>
<p>He’s home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, this is it. Many thousands of words and hours of editing later, we've reached the final final part.  We hope you enjoy this little glimpse into their future and we want thank you so so much, from the bottom of our hearts, for all the comments, kudos, twitter and discord yelling that you've sent our way.  We were convinced that about three people would be interested in this pairing/fic so it's been really lovely to read all the feedback.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>5 years later</i>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Jooheon stretches, reaching high up towards the ceiling with his fingertips, rising up on his tiptoes at the same time. He lets out a rumble as he does, muscles sore from carrying boxes all day. </p>
<p>He relaxes again, and immediately after, feels arms wrapping around his waist. He grins, leaning back. “Thanks for not ruining my stretch,” he says, his head tipped on Jaebeom’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I've learnt my lesson on that,” Jaebeom says, rueful. He kisses Jooheon's neck once then turns Jooheon to face him. “Almost there.”</p>
<p>“Yup, then we can start christening the furniture.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles, running a hand over the back of their new couch - which is still startlingly familiar to the one he dragged from his old apartment to Jooheon’s when they first moved in together, years ago. </p>
<p>And now here they are, in their new house, that they own, together. Their future laid out in front of them in a myriad of boxes and plastic-wrapped pieces of furniture.   “Are the cats loose already?” Jooheon asks, looking around the still barren living-room. It’ll stay very simple, but they have a bunch of shelves to put out, boxes to unpack.</p>
<p>“Yes, but I shut them in the spare room,” Jaebeom says, playing with the hem of Jooheon's shirt.</p>
<p>Jooheon raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Any particular reason for that?” </p>
<p>Almost six years on, and sometimes Jooheon wonders if this feeling will ever fade. The pure adoration and fondness he feels whenever he is around Jaebeom - it mellowed out over the years, but it still runs so deep in his veins, a part of him as much as making music is.</p>
<p>“No, not really,” Jaebeom says but he looks shifty to Jooheon. “I'm going to go out and pick us up some chicken and I didn't want them to be all over it because we don't have a table set up yet.” He kisses Jooheon on the tip of his nose. “I'll be right back, okay?”</p>
<p>Jooheon hums. “Okay.”</p>
<p>But Jaebeom leaves, and Jooheon considers starting some unboxing but he’s tired and hungry and instead, he goes to sit outside, on the floor of their porch because they haven’t got their garden furniture yet, and lets the late summer breeze run through his hair.</p>
<p>It’s everything they once talked about like it was a dream. It’s big and airy and they have a garden, they have enough rooms that both he and Jaebeom can have their own working spaces, and it’s in this quiet neighborhood where they’ll probably get judged about being two men and their cats living together, but Jooheon doesn’t care.</p>
<p>He gets up from the floor after a couple of minutes when he starts feeling like he'll seize up and goes to peek into the bedroom where the cats are hanging out. Odd and Nora are basking in the sunlight by the window while Yoshi is curled up on a suitcase. Gucci is prowling, complaining bitterly about being locked up.</p>
<p>He chuckles, walking into the room to give them some attention, his girls giving him varying degrees of response. Odd is too busy making tiny noises at a bird outside to care about his petting, while Gucci and Nora revel in it, chirping at him. Yoshi tries to climb on his back. </p>
<p>“I promise we’ll be back later to feed you girls,” he says softly. “And soon enough you’ll get to roam this whole place. It’s so much bigger than where we were before, you’re going to love it.” </p>
<p>“Jooheonie?” He hears from outside, and with some final pets and a kiss to Yoshi’s head, he leaves the room, finding Jaebeom in the living-room again, plastic bag hanging from his fingers. </p>
<p>“So it really was chicken, huh?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom gives him a look. “What did you think I was going to do?”</p>
<p>Jooheon grins, poking his tongue out. It’s not exactly the first time they’re having this conversation. “For a second I thought you were going to get me a ring.”</p>
<p>“No, I told you, I haven't got Nora's special ring bearer vest yet,” Jaebeom says, laughing and sitting down on the floor.</p>
<p>“You’d need that for the ceremony, not for the proposal,” Jooheon replies, walking over and sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch to start laying out their dinner.</p>
<p>“Not if I wanted to reenact our first meeting as part of the proposal,” Jaebeom says as he takes a bottle of wine out of one of the bags. “Don't suppose you unpacked any glasses while I was gone?”</p>
<p>“Nope, but it's our house and if we want to swig wine direct from the bottle, then we can.”</p>
<p>“So scandalous,” Jaebeom replies. </p>
<p>“No one’s even naked, I barely would call it bold.”</p>
<p>“You wanna get naked?”</p>
<p>“Body shots? With wine?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom laughs, taking a wing and sucking some of the marinade off before nibbling at the meat. “We've done weirder things in bed.”</p>
<p>“Do we want to stain the hardwood floor the day we move in, though,” Jooheon asks, just to see Jaebeom’s eyelid twitch at the idea. He giggles when he gets the exact reaction he expects, Jaebeom’s jaw clenching.</p>
<p>Jooheon pats his thigh softly. “Just teasing, baby. Although we can get naked if you want.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom looks like he's considering it for a second but then Jooheon hears his stomach rumbling and he guesses what will win out for now. They eat quietly, discussing where furniture would fit best, and making a bet about which of them can build a flat-pack desk the fastest. Soon enough Jooheon is full, and his ass is starting to feel numb against the hardwood, so he hoists himself up to the couch, lying down and dropping a hand to the top of Jaebeom’s head, playing with his hair.</p>
<p>It's still long enough that Jooheon can wrap it around his fingers, if not as long as when they first met. “Come up here and cuddle me, hyung,” he says, letting Jaebeom's hair slip through his fingers and rolling over onto his back, leaving his arm outstretched.</p>
<p>“Let me clear up first,” Jaebeom says, already putting empty containers into the bags and swigging the last of the bottle. He gives Jooheon a wine flavored kiss then disappears to the kitchen.</p>
<p>Jooheon listens to the sounds of Jaebeom cleaning, not exactly surprised that he’s putting things away before anything else. There are clear advantages to living with a clean freak, and Jooheon is more than willing to make the most of it all as much as possible. </p>
<p>Jaebeom comes back quickly, and lies himself directly on top of Jooheon, making him let out a little oof, hands wrapping around Jaebeom’s hips. </p>
<p>“You’re heavy.”</p>
<p>“I'm full of chicken,” Jaebeom says, kissing Jooheon's nose. “And love.”</p>
<p>“And cheese,” Jooheon says, poking Jaebeom in the ribs, making him give a surprised giggle and squirm away from Jooheon's hand.</p>
<p>He lands by Jooheon’s side, the couch big enough - due to Jaebeom’s insistence - to have them both like this, and comfortably so. </p>
<p>“Really though, thank you, Jooheon-ah,” Jaebeom says, and Jooheon turns his head to look at him, raising an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Thank you for what?”</p>
<p>“Getting me my dream house.” </p>
<p>“You worked for it, too, hyung.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums, putting his hand on Jooheon's hip, pushing his shirt up until he can rest it on the skin of Jooheon's waist. “I guess.”</p>
<p>“It's still our dream house,” Jooheon says, moving closer. “With our new furniture, and our new bedroom, and our new garden, and our babies.”</p>
<p>“We should feed them,” Jaebeom says but he makes no move to get up, hand moving further up under Jooheon's shirt.</p>
<p>“Hmmm, seems to me like you’re about to make them wait,” Jooheon says, relaxing into the couch, opening himself up in an invitation. </p>
<p>“They’ll survive,” Jaebeom murmurs, leaning in to kiss the hinge of Jooheon’s jaw.</p>
<p>“Gucci might have a different perspective on that,” Jooheon says, getting his own hands under Jaebeom's shirt as well, running up along his ribs, careful not to make his touch too light and set off Jaebeom's ticklish reaction.</p>
<p>“But see, she’ll still be alive in an hour to tell me how she’s starving, though,” Jaebeom replies, tugging Jooheon to his side, the two of them facing each other.</p>
<p>“A whole hour? I love how ambitious you are.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom pinches his side, making him squawk and dig his fingers into Jaebeom's ribs in retaliation.</p>
<p>“You’re being mean,” Jooheon protests, sliding his hand to Jaebeom’s back, going lower down and slipping past the waistband of his sweatpants.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. How should I make it up to you?”</p>
<p>“You should kiss me, that's a good place to start,” Jooheon says. He stretches his neck to rub the tip of his nose against Jaebeom's, wiggling closer with his hips until their bodies are flush with one another.</p>
<p>Jaebeom hums and nods, closing the distance between them. They kiss slow but deep, intense, and Jooheon squeezes Jaebeom’s ass cheek, swallowing the moan that escapes Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Hmm, yeah, good start,” Jooheon says in the moment they take a breather, grinning into the kiss. “I’m too sore to go all in tonight, though,” he admits, even as he slips a thigh in between Jaebeom’s.</p>
<p>“Sadly, me too,” Jaebeom says putting his hands on Jooheon's butt. “But we do have a great big bathtub that we can use to soothe our aches.”</p>
<p>“Our very own bathtub.”</p>
<p>Jooheon flicks his tongue against Jaebeom’s bottom lip. “Do you want to do that? You get the bath on, I’ll feed the girls, and then we soak for a bit?”</p>
<p>“Marry me,” Jaebeom says by way of an answer, ending with a happy sounding groan. Jooheon laughs, kissing him through the giggles.</p>
<p>“That's your proposal?” he asks, joking for the most part. He honestly doesn't mind how or when Jaebeom proposes - if he doesn't get there first himself. They're comfortable enough in the knowledge that they're both “it” for the other, without going through the process of getting engaged and married overseas. There's a part of both of them, however, who’d love to call the other their husband.</p>
<p>Jaebeom just pulls Jooheon into a hug as an answer, burying his face in his neck for a moment. They stay like this, holding each other, for a precious minute, Jooheon reaching up to card his fingers through Jaebeom’s hair gently, relishing in the feeling. Jaebeom groans again, before forcing himself away.</p>
<p>“Okay. You, cats. Me, bath.”</p>
<p>Jooheon gives him another soft, lingering kiss first, then rolls over Jaebeom to get off the sofa.  He stretches his back out again as he stands, then goes to find the cat food out of one of the boxes in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“I'll let them out of the spare room?” he asks, calling back to the living room, getting an affirmative response shouted back at him.  He dishes the food out into their bowls by the counter and puts down fresh water, then heads up the stairs to the bedroom.</p>
<p>“Hi my babies, it's dinner time!” Jooheon says as he opens the door, laughing when Gucci shoots out past him immediately. Yoshi and Nora follow more sedately, while Odd takes even more time, sniffing around like she’s confused, before taking off along with the others. </p>
<p>Confident that they’ll find their way to the food and then to the couch, most probably, Jooheon follows the sounds to the bathroom, trailing fingers along the wall, smiling to himself. This is their home. They can grow here - grow old here, even. It still feels a little surreal to him. </p>
<p>“Is it ready?” He asks when he steps into the bathroom, closing the door with his foot. Jaebeom startles, a hand on his chest as he turns around to Jooheon.</p>
<p>“Announce yourself! And no, not just yet. It’s a big tub.”</p>
<p>“And people call me the jumpy one,” Jooheon says, laughing at Jaebeom's shocked expression.  He comes closer, wrapping his arms around Jaebeom's waist from behind, hugging him close. “I really want to blow you, but if I kneel on the floor right now, I might not get up again.”</p>
<p>“When did we get so old?” Jaebeom laughs, sliding his hands over Jooheon’s.</p>
<p>“Not old. Just spent the whole day carrying boxes, and like my mom taught me, I’ve been using my knees to pick them up.” </p>
<p>“Hey, don’t forget rule number 2,” Jaebeom says, checking the water temperature. “No family or hyungs talk when we’re about to be naked.” </p>
<p>Jooheon chuckles. “Sorry. Although, don’t forget that she’s coming over tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom whips his head around to look at Jooheon. “Tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“You did forget,” Jooheon says with a sigh.</p>
<p>“No, I didn't, I just...” Jaebeom waves his hand around vaguely, dripping water. “Didn't connect the date she is coming with <i>tomorrow</i>.”</p>
<p>“Uh huh,” Jooheon says, pulling away to start taking his clothes off.  He drops his shirt onto the floor, knowing that Jaebeom will pick it up anyway.  “Anyway, why is it a big deal?  You got plans for tomorrow that I don't know about?”</p>
<p>“I wanted to go to the shelter,” Jaebeom says, shimmying out of his clothes as well. He pushes them all into a pile with Jooheon’s in a corner of the bathroom, where Jooheon expects they’ll put their laundry basket. </p>
<p>“She’ll probably only be around for a few hours. She just wants to see the place and most probably fill up the fridge. We can go after?” </p>
<p>Jaebeom slides into the tub, sighing softly, and Jooheon watches, eyes glassing over a little as he takes in Jaebeom’s naked form. Years on, and he’s still very much not bored of seeing Jaebeom’s everything.</p>
<p> Jaebeom waves a hand at him, making him blink back to the present. “I know I'm hot stuff, but so is this bath water, so you should get in already.”</p>
<p>Jooheon snorts, but doesn’t exactly deny the fact. He kicks off his underwear before gingerly stepping into the bath, and in between Jaebeom’s legs. He settles there, leaning back against Jaebeom’s front, and turns his head to nuzzle close, sighing contently. </p>
<p>“We should get a tv in here,” Jaebeom says, making Jooheon laugh.</p>
<p>“That’d definitely kill the romance.”</p>
<p>“Not if we watch porn on it,” Jaebeom says, hands sliding over Jooheon's skin.  </p>
<p>Jooheon snorts again.  “Oh yeah, that's really romantic.”</p>
<p>“Some of it is,” Jaebeom says, pushing Jooheon gently to sit up a little straighter and getting his hands on his shoulders. He digs his thumbs into the knots on Jooheon's spine, making him groan.</p>
<p>“Shit, yeah, right here,” Jooheon moans, head tipping forward as Jaebeom massages the aches of the day away. “I love when you do that.”</p>
<p>“I know. It’s why I do it. It makes you all pliant and willing for me, it’s lovely.”</p>
<p>“Am I not pliant enough otherwise?”</p>
<p>“You’re just proving my point, here,” Jaebeom chuckles, continuing his ministrations, but now adding kisses along the top of Jooheon’s shoulders. “You know I love how fiery you are. But sometimes I like knowing I can make you melt, too.”</p>
<p>“Mmmm,” Jooheon replies, his ability to form words and sentences reducing with every squeeze of Jaebeom's fingers. Slowly, Jaebeom’s fingers move lower, and lower, until he gets to the small of Jooheon’s back, digging into the dimples on each side of his spine, the pressure going straight to Jooheon’s groin. He slaps a hand against the edge of the tub, gripping at it as his body responds to the touch.</p>
<p>“You like that, hm?”</p>
<p>Jooheon groans, nodding.  He lets the warm feeling roll through him, his cock stiffening against his thigh the way it often does when Jaebeom gives him a massage. It's a slow building arousal, swirling like the water surrounding their bodies, making him breathe heavier and wriggle back into Jaebeom's touch.</p>
<p>Taking his time, Jaebeom moves his hands, sliding around Jooheon’s hips, moving down along the front of his thighs, then trails back up, fingers grazing the inside of Jooheon’s thighs. He avoids his cock though, moving some more, up Jooheon’s stomach, thumb flicking against his right nipple - the one he got pierced two years ago.</p>
<p>Jooheon can't contain his shudder, the sensation still overwhelming and surprising even after the two years. He fully understands why Jaebeom had his done. With the water sloshing around them, Jooheon reaches back a little, his hands gripping Jaebeom’s thighs as he arches into his touch, wanting more of it. One of Jaebeom’s hands moves up to circle his throat, then up some more, thumb slipping past Jooheon’s lips for a second, like a tease. </p>
<p>“What do you want, baby?” Jaebeom asks, hands roaming over Jooheon’s body.</p>
<p>“You,” is all Jooheon says for now, leaning back into Jaebeom's chest again and twisting so that they can kiss. He pushes his tongue past Jaebeom's lips, holding onto the edge of the tub so that he doesn't slip away. Jaebeom's skin is smooth and silky under the water and the feeling of their bodies sliding against one another is sensual and addicting.</p>
<p>“I want you to make love to me in our new bed, in our new bedroom, in our new forever house,” Jooheon says into Jaebeom's mouth. “I want you to take care of me, and I'll take care of you.”</p>
<p>“Jooheonie...” Jaebeom breathes his name like a prayer, sliding down in the water a little more, bringing his knees up so that Jooheon is resting between them, bringing him closer to Jaebeom's dick. “I thought you were too achy.”</p>
<p>“I just want you close to me, inside me.”</p>
<p>For a split second, it looks like Jaebeom is about to protest, or turn him down. But then, Jaebeom groans with feeling, wrapping his arms around Jooheon and lifting them both up, standing in the tub. They kiss, Jooheon sliding his arms around Jaebeom‘s neck, water dripping from them both as they lose themselves in each other. </p>
<p>When they pull back, they’re quick and efficient, helping each other out of the tub and toweling off quickly, leaving them both still a little damp, but Jooheon is way too eager now to care, body aflame and needing Jaebeom’s.</p>
<p>They shut the bedroom door behind them when they get there, dropping their towels on one of the boxes stacked by the window. The bed is haphazardly pushed up against one wall for now, just a frame and the mattress, so Jooheon rummages quickly for a dry towel, spreading it out before lying back on it, pulling Jaebeom down with him.</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs as Jaebeom kisses down his neck, wet hair tickling his skin. He grabs a fistful if it, pulling Jaebeom’s head back just slightly, so their eyes can meet.</p>
<p>“Lube is in your suitcase,” he says around a laugh, feeling absolutely giddy for reasons unknown, just - exhilarated to even be here, with Jaebeom.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Jaebeom says, making no move to get it just yet, going back to kissing down Jooheon's body instead. He pauses at Jooheon's nipple to play with the piercing with his tongue, making Jooheon squirm and gasp, arching off the bed. He pushes Jaebeom away with a hand on his forehead, still giggling, albeit now breathlessly, and points at the case.</p>
<p>“Go on,” he says, trailing his fingers down Jaebeom's stomach to his dick. “I want this inside me.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom nips at his side, growling low in his throat. “Impatient,” he mutters, but then kisses the spot he just bit, smiling up at Jooheon, who reaches out, fingers grazing along Jaebeom’s eyebrow, thumb brushing the twin moles on his eyelid. He feels breathless all over again, but for a myriad of reasons, not just arousal. This is exactly the kind of feeling he knew his best friends had all experienced before Jooheon did, this all-encompassing kind of love, the kind that makes it easy to think <i>forever</i>, something Jooheon didn’t like to think about before he met Jaebeom. </p>
<p>“Where did you go?” Jaebeom asks, attuned to Jooheon, before turning his head a little, Jooheon’s hand cupping his cheek. Jaebeom nuzzles close, kissing the heel of Jooheon’s hand.</p>
<p>Jooheon smiles, fingers sliding back to card through Jaebeom’s damp hair, eyes focusing once more. “The future. Our future,” he replies softly, thumb brushing the tip of Jaebeom’s ear. </p>
<p>Jaebeom smiles, pushing back to finally get back to his feet and walk over to his suitcase, rummaging through for the lube. It gives Jooheon yet another excellent view of Jaebeom’s naked body. “It’s nice there, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jooheon says, giving Jaebeom what he's sure is a very dopey looking smile. He stretches his arms over his head, fingers pressed against the wall. He can't wait to start decorating the house, putting up the artwork they've bought, prints of photos that Jaebeom and Kihyun have taken. But he's happy just like this, even in this room full of boxes, on a bare mattress, not even a curtain or blind over the window, watching birds flying past while Jaebeom walks towards him, naked and hard, lube in hand.</p>
<p>“What's in our future now, then?” Jaebeom asks as he climbs back over Jooheon's body. “Since we got the dream house... what are you getting me next?”</p>
<p>Jooheon laughs, looping his arms around Jaebeom’s neck, legs spreading around his hips. He sighs happily as Jaebeom touches him right back, going back to kissing along Jooheon’s collarbones, fingers trailing up and down Jooheon’s thighs. “I think you made it very clear you want another cat,” Jooheon says softly, and Jaebeom hums. </p>
<p>“I do,” Jaebeom agrees.</p>
<p>“I’ll give you another cat. I’ll give you any cat you want, Jaebeomie. I’d give you the fucking moon on a string, if I could. Anything. Everything.”</p>
<p>“I know, Jooheonie, I know,”      Jaebeom doesn't wait for an answer, just kisses Jooheon, deep and dirty, quickly building the heat back up between them. Jooheon shivers when the cold bottle rolls against his leg. </p>
<p>He keeps kissing Jaebeom as he takes the bottle and squeezes some of the lube onto his fingers, reaching down between them to finger himself, moaning into Jaebeom's mouth.</p>
<p>“God, it's so hot when you do that,” Jaebeom mutters, barely breaking the kiss to speak. Jooheon moans wantonly, feeling the strain of the day in his muscles but more determined than ever to do this now. They’re so used to each other now, used to each other’s bodies, what they love and don’t love, and they both know just exactly what to do to rile the other up. </p>
<p>Hence Jooheon fingers himself open, slow and loud, with lots of lube - just what makes Jaebeom a little wild in the eyes when he looks down between their bodies. Jooheon grips the back of his head, tilting him into another kiss, and he moans brokenly when Jaebeom teases him, his fingers sliding along Jooheon’s own, getting them coated in lube but not pushing in just yet.</p>
<p>It's a bigger stretch when Jaebeom's fingers slide in alongside his own but not a painful one, his body used to it, anticipating what's to come. He gasps into Jaebeom's mouth when his prostate gets bumped by their fingertips, pleasure singing in his veins.</p>
<p>He pulls his hand away, leaving Jaebeom to continue, and uses his own to hold his thighs up, changing the angle, so that Jaebeom's fingers can fuck him deeper, pressing hard on his prostate, making his cock leak onto his stomach. Jooheon whines, slippery fingers grabbing onto Jaebeom’s arm.</p>
<p>“C’mon,” he whimpers, done with wasting time now. He wants to ache, <i>really</i> ache, in a way he’ll feel in the morning, and not just because of the move. </p>
<p>And here, they are so in tune with each other, Jaebeom just grunts and licks at Jooheon’s neck, pulling his fingers away. Jooheon clenches around nothing for a moment, shuddering when he feels the blunt, sticky head of Jaebeom’s cock against him. He slides in easily, and Jooheon lets out a breathy, relieved moan at the sensation.</p>
<p>Jaebeom settles on top of him once he's fully inside, mouthing at Jooheon's neck, hips still and flush with Jooheon's ass, hip bones digging in. Jooheon turns his head to press his face into Jaebeom's hair, breathing in deep, smelling the bath oils from before mixed with the musky, sweaty scent of sex. He wraps one leg around Jaebeom's back, gently rocking his pelvis back and forth, nudging Jaebeom into moving. It's a slow ripple of movement as their bodies find a rhythm, Jaebeom's cock staying deep inside him.</p>
<p>They don’t say the words as often anymore, because they don’t have to. The way they love each other radiates from every look, every touch, every smile, and it’s even more evident in moments like this one, where everything they’re both made of is laid bare for the other to take. Jooheon moans when Jaebeom jerks his hips a fraction harder, and his eyes roll to the back of his head as he closes them, completely giving in and letting go of any control. </p>
<p>“You feel so good,” he whispers right in Jaebeom’s ear, punctuating the words with a moan.</p>
<p>Their sex life is healthy, but it's been a little while since they had time for this with everything that's been going on with the move, so Jooheon basks in it, lets Jaebeom make love to him with slow, deliberate thrusts.</p>
<p>And they’re celebrating, right now. Jooheon wants everything and more for this moment, the first time they are doing this in their own house, one they both signed the papers for, one they opened a joint bank account to save towards. It means everything to him, to them both, and he doesn’t know how to express it any better than by giving himself up entirely to Jaebeom. </p>
<p>Jaebeom whimpers a little, hips working faster, and Jooheon reaches down to dig his fingers by Jaebeom’s spine in a silent approval for him to move faster if he needs, Jooheon all too willing to follow his lead.</p>
<p>Jaebeom moans words of praise and adoration into Jooheon's ear, syllables tumbling together. He presses wet lips to Jooheon's neck and jaw, teeth stinging every now and then just enough to keep Jooheon on edge, want the sharpness of a bite but not getting it.</p>
<p>“You think you're up to riding me for a little while?” Jaebeom whispers, slowing down the pace again to just a grind of his hips, stomach pressed flat against Jooheon's, cock trapped between them.</p>
<p>The friction isn’t enough to drive Jooheon crazy but it’s enough constant pressure that Jooheon feels on edge anyway, sparks of heat and electricity running up his spine every time Jaebeom shifts. It takes a second for the question to pierce through the blissful fog in his brain, but he opens his eyes when it does, looking at Jaebeom and nodding.</p>
<p>It’s a testament to all the hours he puts into working out with Wonho and keeping fit that he can push through the way his muscles protest as they roll around, Jaebeom’s cock slipping out of him and making him gasp unhappily. </p>
<p>“I just want to look at you,” Jaebeom whispers, hands roaming over Jooheon’s stomach as he settles over him. “Watch you take me deep.”</p>
<p>Jooheon lets out a deep, shuddering breath as Jaebeom pushes up into him again, a hand on Jooheon's cock now, thumb pressing at the wet tip. “Y-yeah,” he says absently as he tips his head back, drifting off again on that sea of feelings.</p>
<p>“You with me, baby?” Jaebeom asks after a minute. “You look so good. Do you feel good?”</p>
<p>Jooheon looks back down at Jaebeom, tipping forward just a little to press his hands on his chest as he starts moving with more intent. He nods, mouth opening wide.</p>
<p>“Feels amazing,” he says softly, but with feeling, and slides his hand down Jaebeom’s shoulders to lace their fingers together, changing the angle once again. He moans, pushing his hips back, taking Jaebeom as deep as he can. “I’m with you. Always.”</p>
<p>“I love the sound of that,” Jaebeom says, a smile on his face. He keeps one hand on Jooheon's hip, guiding him back and forth, bringing their joint hands to Jooheon's cock. It's not going to take much longer for Jooheon to come, but it's not going to be a frantic rush to the end like it is sometimes when they're both desperate for each other and can't get off fast enough, when they're too impatient to get undressed or into bed at all.</p>
<p>“You're my always, Jooheonie.”</p>
<p>The sensations feel like a slow build as Jooheon rocks his hips, as Jaebeom holds him through it. It grows and grows inside his chest, making him feel like he’s glowing from the inside. He feels cherished, so, so loved; and he loves right back with the same intensity. </p>
<p>They’re quiet tonight, gasped moans and choked off breaths as they move together, Jooheon’s thighs trembling around Jaebeom’s hips, knees pressing into his side. He doesn’t know where he starts and where Jaebeom ends anymore, and that’s exactly how he wants it. He doesn't know if he can stay upright much longer, however, so he leans over Jaebeom's chest and rolls them to the side, his back hitting the bare mattress to the side of the towel he put down.</p>
<p>Jaebeom kisses him now that they're face to face again, keeping their bodies tight together but his movements are harder, deeper. Jooheon can't help making little “Oh” noises each time Jaebeom pushes forward, hitting him at the perfect angle.</p>
<p>And it’s how he ends up coming. It’s like a gut punch, taking him totally by surprise; it takes another deep thrust from Jaebeom, pressing right against Jooheon’s prostate, at the same time as his hand squeezes just under the crown of his cock, and Jooheon’s gone. </p>
<p>His muscles tense up as he comes, toes curling and ass clenching, thighs clamping down around Jaebeom. He curses up a storm as his back arches, neck straining and fingers digging hard into Jaebeom’s arm and shoulder blade, white hot pleasure rushing through his veins in a way he wasn’t prepared for, that makes him feel all weak-kneed and vulnerable.</p>
<p>He doesn't have time to catch his breath before he feels Jaebeom coming inside him as well, mouth pressed against Jooheon's collar bone as his body shakes through it.</p>
<p>Jooheon holds onto him, tracing mindless patterns all over Jaebeom's back. He leans forward and kisses the tip of Jaebeom’s nose, nuzzling close and practically purring, contentment making his bones all feel liquid.</p>
<p>“Hmmmrr, yes, gonna sleep very well tonight,” he mumbles with a smile that only falters when Jaebeom slips out of him. “Hate when you do that.”</p>
<p>Jaebeom chuckles, kissing Jooheon’s cheek. “Would you rather we got stuck?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Jooheon says, still a little out of it. “Together forever.”</p>
<p>“I'm not sure that's what that means,” Jaebeom says with a laugh. He tries to pull away but Jooheon whines and clings to him.</p>
<p>“Jooheonie,” Jaebeom says softly, with his you’re-cute-but-I’m-trying-to-do-something-here tone of voice. He gets frustrated sometimes, but Jooheon always brings him back. This time, he does so by letting Jaebeom go, sighing softly as he watches Jaebeom grab wet wipes and sheets. </p>
<p>As always, he works around Jooheon, cleaning him up with care and kisses, and then sets up the bed in quick and efficient movements, which Jooheon can’t help but find ridiculously hot. He’s long ago realized that competency is one of his most prominent turn-ons, and Jaebeom hits it on the nose so, so often.</p>
<p>Jooheon isn't sure what time it is but he's sore and fucked out and sleepy, so he just lies back and makes grabby hand motions in Jaebeom's direction. Jaebeom comes easily, letting out a happy noise as he settles in next to Jooheon, wriggling a little as he gets comfortable in their new bed. </p>
<p>“Honey-yah,” Jaebeom starts, making Jooheon hum a questioning noise as he lifts his head to look at Jaebeom. “I know it’s something we’ve joked about a lot, but.” </p>
<p>Jooheon frowns, unsure where this is going. He stays quiet, watching as Jaebeom pulls off the ring from his own index finger, the one he always wears, even now that the amount of jewelry he tends to wear has decreased quite drastically. </p>
<p>Jooheon blinks, not sure he’s getting it. Is this what he thinks it is? Is Jaebeom actually doing this, after years of fake proposals and jokes thrown around between the two of them? It feels – it feels almost surreal, like he’s in a dream, to watch Jaebeom do this. His heart picks up speed, his mouth going dry.   “What are you doing?”</p>
<p>Jaebeom looks at the ring, then at Jooheon. “I want you to wear it.”</p>
<p>Jooheon stares back at him, open-mouthed. There’s no doubt in Jooheon’s mind that Jaebeom is it for him, that he’s not going anywhere, ring or no ring; the commitment is there, it’s always been there. But he watches Jaebeom offer him a ring and Jooheon feels like he’s about to pass out. “Like - you know...” He can’t even say the words out loud, too shocked and taken by surprise, despite their earlier talk.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Jaebeom says, turning the ring around in his fingers. “Like that.”</p>
<p>This time, Jooheon doesn’t retort with a ‘that’s your proposal?’ kind of joke, because it feels real, tangible. He swallows hard, eyes flitting from Jaebeom’s to the ring. He lifts his hand.</p>
<p>“Well then, what are you waiting for? Put it on,” he says, but his voice is watery thin, betraying his feelings.</p>
<p>Jaebeom takes his hand gently, kissing his palm first, then slipping the ring down over Jooheon's fourth finger. It's a little loose, but Jooheon doesn't care. It's not about the ring, not really, it's about the two of them, about the commitment and the love they want to show to and for one another.</p>
<p>“Your always?”</p>
<p>“My always.”  </p>
<p>;;</p>
<p>THE END END</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>p.s. we have more written that goes even further into the future, so that might appear at some point... maybe... if you're good. ;)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We've tried our best to be accurate when it comes to the Korean names etc, but if you do spot any errors please let us know (nicely!) and we'll make corrections where necessary. :)</p><p>Re: the party, just so you know, Jackson’s firsts with Jooheon are completely canon, as evidenced in <a href="https://youtu.be/1htVToUaPGM?t=204">this video</a>.</p><p>Come talk to Ellie on <a href="https://twitter.com/ellievolia">Twitter</a> if you want!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>